Welcome to NSFW Queer and Sexy Sunday!
via blushingfemme.tumblr.com
+ Premarital sex is good for everyone. (Especially if you live in a country where gay people can’t get married.) At the Guardian, Jill Fillpovic argues that not only is the abstinence industry silly, it’s also harmful:
“Purity peddlers construct a false universe where there are pure virgins who wait until marriage, and then there are slutty whores who are going home with different men every night of the week. The truth is that most adults will have a great many important relationships in their lives – some of those relationships will be romantic, and some of those will be sexual. That’s a good thing: our relationships with other people, sexual or not, are how we grow, evolve and learn about ourselves. They’re how we figure out what love is, what we like physically and emotionally, and how to negotiate our own needs with someone else’s. Despite the claims of the wait-till-marriage camp, waiting to have sex won’t protect you from heartache, frustration or love lost. But a variety of fulfilling relationships, sexual and not, will make you a more well-rounded, compassionate and self-assured person.”
via dailylesbiandose.tumblr.com
+ It’s time to be terrified of drug-resistant gonorrhoea.
2012 Bklyn Boihood Calendar Boi Allex, via bklynboihood.tumblr.com
+ Sex Geek on 50 Shades of Gray in Crazy and Criminal: On Those Damn Books, And Why They Matter:
“Perverts sometimes have an odd attachment to some elusive idea of authenticity, as though we’re all supposed to be able either to track our kinks back to early childhood—the deeply flawed “I was born this way” idea—as though there were a genetic sequence to explain leather fetishism or a love of bondage—or to have come across a credible, acceptable, cool-enough trigger, such as reading the gritty queer pervert porn of Patrick Califia or being discovered in a San Franciscso back alley by a True Master who saw our potential and took us under his leathery wing. But I know plenty of proud, aware, competent, trustworthy BDSM players who started in each of the “uncool” ways I mentioned first, and there’s not a damn thing wrong with that.”
+ At Buzzfeed, Rachel Rabbit White chronicles a queer issue of “Love in the Time of GChat”:
“Raquelle and Jordin met four months ago at a gay pride meeting at their college in Kingston, Jamaica. Raquelle immediately noticed Jordin, who wore loose guy’s clothing and had a certain sparkle about her. Raquelle liked what Jordin said about gender expression: ‘She said she isn’t as butch as she presents herself necessarily, and regardless of her clothes she is still a girl. And she wants to be treated like one.’ So Raquelle went home and found Jordin on Tumblr through some mutual friends. She ‘liked’ a bunch of her posts and soon they started chatting online.”
via voluptaset.tumblr.com
+ And at Vice, Rachel Rabbit White writes about edgeplay:
“While the mainstream BDSM community has always drawn lines over what is and is not OK (drinking blood, for instance, isn’t cool because of the potential to spread diseases), the definition of edge has changed over time. In the 80s and 90s things like scat play, age play, puppy play, and suspension were no-nos but they now occur semi frequently at kinky events. (Well, scat play is a little more rare because, ew.) Attitudes about what should be forbidden seems to have shifted thanks to people getting better educated. The internet spawned more discussions about sexual ethics, more how-to guides, and more adult sex ed in general. (Don’t you just love the kind of sex ed that results in more and better sex rather than paranoia about STDs?) All of this might have encouraged some of the edgier elements of the BDSM world to explore some dangerous-sounding fun.”
via voluptaset.tumblr.com
+ It’s a new season, so there are lots of studies about how people will have sex in it going around the Internet. In sum: people have lots of sex in fall, but most of it is unexciting:
“This is no doubt due in part because the night is longer (duh), but it’s also because the visual cues of the changing season imbue humans with a sense of seriousness, and the brisker weather increases our desire to ‘nest,’ which is Science for ‘shack up, eat chili and do It all the time.’ When we do, dopamine is produced in higher levels than any other season.”
via courtneytrouble.tumblr.com
+ Office sex: just don’t do it in front of the security cameras.
+ Nerve’s historical list of things people think will lead to sex includes Wonder Woman, feminism, Cyndi Lauper, sex bracelets, hugs, and California.
via voluptaset.tumblr.com
+ Sexis talks about what to do when it takes you hours to orgasm:
“The Steel Clitoris is a term used to describe an insensitive clitoris that’s difficult to reach orgasm with. It’s not a lot of fun to sit there and stimulate yourself for 20, 30, maybe even 60+ minutes just to get a less-than-great orgasm, or even get frustrated and quit before it even happens! So how do you deal with a stubborn clit that just won’t give you that incredible orgasm you’re striving for?
First, know your anatomy. The clitoris isn’t just the little nub under your hood, there’s “legs” to it that extend around your vaginal opening. Your clitoris preforms better when you stimulate more than just the head! Just like a penis, a clitoris has a glans or head where the majority of the nerves are centered, and they branch off from there. Focusing on just the head of a penis may cause an orgasm, but it’s easier to achieve and more pleasurable when you pay attention to the rest as well. Clits are the same. Try stimulating the outer areas of your vagina as well as the opening. Your clitoris will respond happily. Try alternating between rubbing the legs of your clitoris (around the outer area of your vagina) and the head instead of just focusing on the head.”
via deviantfemme.tumblr.com
+ This gallery of illustrated vulvas by Betty Dodson is your weekly reminder that everyone should feel good about themselves. (We’ve also talked about vaginas and body positivity before.)
+ This list of 16 things we masturbated to before we know porn existed is missing “Mists of Avalon” and that series about prehistoric people who invent horseback riding and have a lot of sex, but is otherwise probably accurate.
via prettyplussize.tumblr.com
Disclaimer: All of the photographs on NSFW Sundays are taken from various tumblrs and do not belong to us. All are linked and credited to the best of our abilities in hopes of attracting more traffic to the tumblrs and photographers who have blessed us with this imagery. The inclusion of a photograph here should not be interpreted as an assertion of the model’s gender identity or sexual orientation. If there is a photo included here that belongs to you and you want it removed, please email our tech director at cee [at] autostraddle dot com and it will be removed promptly, no questions asked.
Thanks to this post I have “Closer” stuck in my head again.
But really, thank you.
It’s been stuck in my head for a week. But I don’t mind because I love it so.
All I wanna do is
Get a little bit closeeaaaaa-AAh
Weird….I have the song Scat Man stuck in mine.
Mists of Avalon though…
That’s so Raven.
Yeah…
“Love in the Time of Gchat” <3
Yes! This made me squeal with the pure sweetness of it all.
it’s lovely
I had no idea Steel Clitoris existed. Thanks Autostraddle!
Re: “16 things we masturbated to before we knew porn existed”:
Dr. Quinn, Medicine Woman. No lie.
“and that series about prehistoric people who invent horseback riding and have a lot of sex”
Hellz yeah, Earth’s Children series!
I discovered that when my CATHOLIC HIGH SCHOOL assigned the first book (Clan of the Cave Bear) for summer reading. Why they thought it would be enriching I still don’t know, but I was grateful!
Ahaha, yes! My mom let me read those books with the warning that there was some “grown up stuff” in it that I might not understand. I was 12. To be fair, it had been a long time since she read the books herself, and I don’t think she remembered quite how much sex there was. Valley of Horses was where I discovered that oral was a thing and that I wanted to do it with a girl. And the one with the evil lesbian that imprisoned the men taught me that scissoring was a thing that existed and I might like to try it also (but with a nice lesbian, not an evil one). But I could probably still like boys, maybe…No, no I could not.
That fourth picture…
Oh my god. So. Hot.
Agreed. But even hotter when you realize they had a cupcake and hot chocolate beforehand.
before. hand.
mmmm. courtney trouble.
omg…..the pictures, this is the first factual time i ever just scroll through the pics over and over again (i’m also the person who would pic up a playboy/maxim and read the articles and not just flip through the pics)
you’ve out done yourself this week anon, i salute you
Drug-resistant gonorrhea: NOT SEXY.
Wonder Woman, feminism, Cyndi Lauper, sex bracelets, hugs, and California.
Sadly I’m deficient in all of them…
Also pics 2 and 4.
I have to say the lesbosexy Sunday column I always look forward to.
Premarital sex is not good for everyone.
Don’t get me wrong – I despise abstinence only sex ed and this vague idea about purity and virgin = good as much as the next person with a few brain cells, but there isn’t a single thing you can say about sex that is true for everyone, including when you should be having it.
Surely a better response to ‘everybody should only have sex when married’ ISN’T ‘everybody should have sex before marriage’, but rather ‘everybody can do what the fuck they want and what makes them happy because your sex life isn’t my business and you probably know way more about it then me’.
Maybe I’m being oversensitive about this, it’s come up a lot lately and it’s as though people have forgotten how to be sex positive but acknowledge that doesn’t mean you have to be having (or want to have) loads of it. And I seriously love you guys, you’re one of the most positive, all encompassing, welcoming environments on the whole wide web, and I seriously don’t know what I’d have done without you, and this is very much not an attack on any of that, it’s just upsetting to me when it sounds like you are casually brushing off a lot of people for not having premarital sex when there are a bunch of reasons to do that (including lots of completely non religious ones) and that it’s that persons choice whether or not it’s good for them, you know?
I agree with this. In the planned parenthood sex ed class that I put on for my middle schoolers, the message is all about “waiting until you are ready”. Pressuring people to have sex before they are married is the same as pressuring people not to have sex before they are married.
I completely disagree. I don’t think that it’s healthy or advisable for a virgin to enter into an ostensibly life-long sexual commitment like marriage. I think that one should surely have had sex with someone before knowing whether this is the person who they want to give access to the their body, finances, security, and the ability to take you off of life support.
And I say this as a married person who loves my spouse very, very much.
But this is for the individual to decide.
I couldn’t disagree with you more! This site is about being accepting and understanding of many representations and expressions and one of those is abstinence, another is asexuality or non-sexuality (if that’s a thing?). Some choose to wait, to be honest, I wish I had chosen to wait until marriage. Marriage is so much more than sex, as you know being married – it’s friendship, respect, love, support, and yes, sex. But my partner’s sexual prowess has nothing to do with how I would trust them to manage my healthcare or finances. I think it’s great for people to sleep with people with little or no commitment, but saying you must have sex before marriage is just as bad as saying everyone should be a virgin on their wedding night.
I just fully believe “you do you” is so important. Do what you’re ready to do, what you’re prepared to handle, and examine your reasons. If your reasons are good enough for you, that’s what matters.
I think if you read the full article, you’ll see that her point was actually that she disagrees that either choice should be considered “right” or “wrong” or “moral”, or “immoral” by society. She believes that premarital sex is a positive thing, but it’s the cultural/political issue of the value of remaining “pure” etc. that she has a problem with, rather than individuals choosing to wait for their own personal reasons.
“And personally, I don’t really care when you, as an individual, choose to have sex. As long as you feel ready and it’s consensual, I say you do you.”
And the final paragraph starts: “My point isn’t that everyone should have sex before marriage – people should determine for themselves when they are ready to have sex…”
U say no office sex in front of cameras or near foot traffic, but what about making out with a stripper during a lap dance while the boss is on post??
Hot girls having hot sex, tattoos, and cupcakes–everything a girl could want. That one picture is so sexy!