Welcome to NSFW Sunday! The most wonderful time of the year!
+ Clarisse Thorn’s Interview with a Sex-Positive Feminist offers a look at the creation and evolution of Sex-Positive Feminism:
“… right now, I think women are encouraged to be into sex, but we’re encouraged to be into sex in a very performative way, and we also aren’t supposed to be too excited about sex, because then we’re seen as “easy” or “slutty”. There’s nothing wrong with doing sexy things because you like looking sexy, but I think a lot of women feel as though we MUST look sexy in a certain way, and that’s really limiting and stifling. On the one hand, if we don’t seem to enjoy sex in this very performative way then we’re seen as “prudes”; at the same time, if we seem to enjoy sex too much then we’re seen as “sluts”. It’s a tightrope.”
via pussylequeer.tumblr.com
+ Last week, 300 British women participated in the Muff March to protest gynecological cosmetic surgery, such as labiaplasty and vaginal rejuvenation, and public obsession with public hair removal. According to the Guardian: “There is a growing concern among women that their genitals don’t “measure up” to the ideal touted by the global pornography industry – which for the past two decades has been busy infiltrating mainstream society.”
via colourdgirlswithink.tumblr.com
+ On that note, another trend piece (slightly a few years late?) about the end of pubic hair in The Atlantic this week: The New Full-Frontal: Has Pubic Hair in America Gon Extinct? The article focuses only on heterosexual women and the demands of their male partners, and we wonder, as we so often do, how it would be different in lesbian relationships.
photography by Timothy Patrick
“As usual, the woman who approached me after my TEDx talk wanted me to tell her that it was demeaning to see women tied up and spanked. And as usual, I told her I didn’t feel that way at all. I told her that I am a woman who likes to be tied up, blindfolded, spanked and devoured. And that it takes an enormous amount of strength to stand up and say that. To ask for it. To be good, giving and game sexually and get what I want. It takes courage to trust so completely that I can get what I want… Sometimes, the strongest decision you can make is the decision to not control things.”
via pinktacolovers.tumblr.com
+ The New York Times features Dita Von Teese: What I Wore .
+ Betty Dodson answers the question, “why is it so hard for (some) women to orgasm manually?” from a woman who can only come with her vibrator.
“Learning how to orgasm later in life is no easy task. The strong vibrations of a sex toy can help to awaken a long slumbering clitoris. While a few of us are fortunate to have a partner with the right touch, still we are so conditioned by romantic love stories and vanity that we’re unreasonably self conscious and can’t be ourselves. Adult masturbation in private can come to our rescue.”
+ 2011 in Celebrity Cleavage: The boys at COED Magazine have been keeping track..
via mrsexsmith.tumblr.com
+ Historical sex: basically the same as contemporary sex.
“Since the sexual revolution of the ’60s, we tend to think that sexuality from the Baby Boomers back to the beginning of time was a long history of repressed urges, prudish fundamentalist restrictions and brutal rape politics.
But it turns out that a lot of what BBC dramas tell you about sex in history is just a fanciful cover for sex lives that didn’t differ that much from our own.”
+ Muerte Pequena is a sex-radical tumblr: “Reality doesn’t impress me. I only believe in intoxication, in ecstasy, and when ordinary life shackles me, I escape, one way or another. No more walls.” {Anais Nin}
Illusion Suicide in "Empty Space" via suicide girls -- suicidegirls.com
+ Babeland in Glamour Magazine on how to talk dirty: “The cheapest, easiest way to spice up your sex life is to talk dirty. There are three easy ways to get started. Say what you are doing, i.e. ‘I love being on top! This is so hot!’ Say what you want to be doing i.e. ‘I want you to wrap your arms around me from behind,’ or talk about a total fantasy that isn’t really going to happen, but that turns you on…”
+ Real South African Beauty: “Photographer Jodie Bieber’s photography series “Real Beauty” was inspired by a few events as well as taking inspiration from the Dove campaign which showed ordinary women in their underwear advocating and speaking for real beauty. This series questioned how South African women saw themselves and what their definition of beauty is. Across all communities that she examined, she found that South African women, also hold “unneccesary perceptions of self doubt around themselves and their beauty from an early age.” Unlike the Dove ads, Bieber shoots these women in their homes, allowing them to pose in whatever position makes them feel most beautiful, and with no photoshop! That means all bumps, scars, cellulite, tatoos, and extra curves are left in for the viewer to see. It’s nice to see physical reflections of what every other woman looks like and have that shown as real and beautiful.”
via pussylequeer.tumblr.com
+ Canada, the United States, and Britain vary wildly on what sex ed classes should include. In the United States, most discussions are about abstinence and whether sex ed should be taught at all; in Britain, respondents were more likely to get useful information about sex from media than from school or family members; and in Canada, respondents felt sex ed should begin at age 11 or younger and include the widest variety of topics, including sexual orientation and pleasure along with diseases.
+ Last-minute sex-toy shopping? Babeland has lots of ways to do this and so does Good Vibrations.
+ Dorothy Snarker celebrates Genderfuck Thursday with the shirtless edition.
Breast cancer prevention and self-exams are always sexy, especially when Catwoman, Wonderwoman, Storm, and She-Hulk are showing you what to do.
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Wow thanks a lot for the second tumblr link!! I’m really into tattoos (hoping to make it my job one day actually) and pictures of tattooed people of color are incredibly rare both IRL in shops/conventions and on the internet. Plus there’s also some pretty cool art on that blog, definitely bookmarking it.
Re: pubic hair: I would only get a Brazilian if you paid me twice what it costs to get one, and even then I would only consider it. No judgment against anyone who does it, but I hate that women are socialized to find their pubic hair disgusting. I still struggle with my feelings and sometimes I feel really insecure about the fact that I have a bit of an afro down there (despite repeated assurances from my girlfriend that it doesn’t matter.)
You do you! Nothin’ wrong with a little (big) vulva afro. I’m not into hating my own body, and I feel bad for people that find pubic hair “gross.” :)
It’s only “gross” if it’s in your sandwich or rice. :|
You’d have to pay me a LOT more than that! It’s delicate down there and I don’t really like pain, or having strangers in that general region.
i just want to say that pubic hair ≠ an afro. let’s not associate the hair texture on people’s heads with pubic hair.
Yeah you’re right, that was crass of me. Sorry.
‘…,and public obsession with public hair removal.’
damn you people, just get rid of your pubic hair in private.
or not at all, whateva suits you best.
The Dove link is actually for some scammy diet program called Medifast. I think you meant to link to: http://www.dove.us/Social-Mission/campaign-for-real-beauty.aspx
i feel weird(aka ‘like’ a bad lesbian/feminist) because i wax ALL my pubic hair off, and so do the large majority of my lesbian (and straight) friends i know?
i am not disgusted by pubic hair by any means, i find it completely natural and 100% agree it should be a personal decision
i just prefer mine gone I DONT KNOW
/second post i made this week feeling like a bad lesbot.
But the thing is that you shouldn’t feel bad. You shouldn’t feel bad for either keeping it on or taking it off, and it’s sad that there is this stigmatization of both women who do and who do not wax. I mean, it’s just pubes, since when did it become a character issue?
Don’t feel bad, it’s what you like. It’s just no one should feel pressured to conform. Media tells us we should look a certain way, and that’s not cool.
Personally think I’d die of agony from getting totally waxed, but then again I can barely steel myself to pluck my eyebrows. /:
I’m really sick of the obsession with pubic hair removal. If you’re just doing it because you like it, that’s one thing, but it seems to me a lot of people are doing it because they feel they have to. They feel like pubic hair is dirty or gross, or they think other people feel that way, so they don’t let themselves have it.
I taught an intro to Women’s Studies class when I was in grad school, and every quarter I had a class, my students’ consensus on the matter was that pubic hair on women is “filthy” and “unsanitary” (their words, not mine). It makes both me and my filthy, unsanitary pubes sad.
So I know this is rather old, but no discussion of pubic hair would be complete without http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rcoreV10hI8
Yes! I wish I had remembered Amanda Palmer’s song when reading this. Map of Tasmania should always be mentioned when discussing pubic hair.
New! Favorite! Song!
I can’t believe I have never heard this before.
I just had a discussion with a friend about how “slutty girls” are all self destructive and how she thinks girls need to be taught that their body is a sacred (read baby making) vessel and that they should protect their virginity because it’s the most important thing they have. She also said that men and women are different and men don’t need to be taught anything about sex because they are men (that was literally her reason “they are men”). I can’t even get into everything she said because I really just wanted her to shut up. It was the most upsetting anti-woman conversation I have ever had with another woman and all I could do was bite my tongue because I couldn’t start a level headed debate with this girl. I wanted to scream.
I’m a bit surprised by all the comments regarding the “pubes are bad obssession”, because here in France it’s kinda the opposite.
I get rid of mine because I like it that way, but I don’t know anyone else who does and when I talk about it (or show it) it’s always met with surprise and even sometimes a bit of disgust. Whether it’s straight women, queer women or straight guys, everyone tells me they like it better when there’s at least a bit of hair, otherwise “it looks weird” or “it’s too ‘porny’ and/or ‘little girl'”. Maybe it’s mostly an American thing?
i guess i have such big boobs and the whole tiny waist/curvy hips thing going on that it would be impossible for me to look like a prepubescent girl, just due to the lack of pubic hair
infact thats an argument i really dislike, because adult women look like adult women for many reasons other than a little bit of hair down there.
so silly.
i really don’t get the pubic hair removal obssesion. all i concentrate on is removing hair that might be outside of the bikini line if i’m wearing a binkini because i think it’s unseemly to have your muff sticking of your swimsuit at the beach. otherwise i don’t care. i think part of the reason i feel this way is because i have sensitive skin and get ingrown hairs easily and i’m not willing to risk months of bumps and dark spots to remove a lot of hair from that area. and i also think it’s because only one person i’ve been with ever mentioned waxing all my pubic hair. no one else really had a problem with it. so at this point, i feel that if any prospective partner has an issue with pubic hair, then we just won’t be fucking. that’s it and that’s all.
I’m from Germany and I feel that it’s safe to say that 95% of ALL people (gay, straight, male, female) younger than 30 remove (most of) their pubic hair. Maybe a little more women than men shave it off entirely, but bodyhair on men is way less excepted than in other countries I’ve been to [Damn, was I shocked when I watched High School Musical for the first time and realized that Zac Efron has all natural hairy armpits! How revolutionary of him!O.o].
If you pick up a lady from a bar and after taking her home into your kingsized bed you realize that her ladybits haven’t seen a razor for a very long time, here in Germany you will probably be a little surprised. If she hasn’t shaved her underarms either, you will be… shocked, I guess.
I don’t know… I personally don’t really have a problem with body hair in general, but I’m not at all used to it! I have seen quite a few ladies without their panties on (that sounds a lot sluttier than I intended), but I think I’ve never really seen anyone around my age (gay or straight) with an “afro” down there. On one hand I think it’s really sad that people are basically expected to shave (or at least trim) in this country, but I like that it’s different to the US, where the dudes can have gigantic bushes under their arms and girls are expected to go in for the Brazilian Waxing. Mh…
Hah I spent a summer in Germany and I was kind of alarmed that all the guys had hairless armpits. I didn’t know the grooming extended to the pubic region as well, so I may have to keep that in mind when I study in Dresden next year…
but I agree, there is a ridiculous double standard in the US. At least you guys are consistent.
i’m going to reiterate, afros are not pubic hair, and pubic hair is not an afro. it’s offensive to people who have afros on their heads for their hair texture to be associated with pubic hair.
I <3 for this because when people grab my hair and say "it looks/feels like…"
Well yeah, *sigh*
Stop the madness.
Haha, I never meant to offend your hair. Sorry about that!
Actually my gf has an afro (she’s half Iranian) and she gets the pubic hair comparison A LOT, too.
I think it’s pretty offending this way round, but I don’t really see how it’s offending to transfer the hairstyle onto a “hairstyle” for your ladygarden. Around here people also say they go “bald” when they shave it all off or they are referring to a “landing strip” as “mustache”. Is that offending as well? :-/
because tightly coiled and highly textured hair (like afros) has historically been the butt of racist jokes and has been associated with being inhuman hair (wool) and unwanted, unsanitary hair (pubic hair). that’s why calling your pubic hair an afro is offensive. anyone can have bald head, and anyone can have a mustache, but it’s generally people of color who have afros. i think people can find a way to describe their pubic hair that doesn’t call to mind racist jokes. and as someone who has both an afro and public hair, neither of them feel nor look alike.
here are some suggestions: bush, muff, landing strip. i don’t know, there’s a lot out there, take your pick. but now you’re aware of the implications of calling your pubic hair an afro.
i wish i had a king sized bed…
Being a cosmetology school student, surrounded by straight girls, of the mainstream variety and not the nerdy girls I usually hangout with- the pubic hair thing is one of many cultural things I am quite annoyed with. Almost every girl their gets down there waxes, and if they don’t wax they shave. Also apparently the only acceptable under ware for sexy ladies now is thongs, thongs and more thongs. I guess being gay I’m already strange so it’s easier for me to say fuck it and wear boxers and keep myself a bit of hair? Regardless it’s alarming how big an impact these cultural ideals have on women’s body images …
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As long as a woman keeps herself clean, what more can you ask.