NSFW Lesbosexy Sunday Is a Brat Attack
Ryan Yates
Ryan Yates was the NSFW Editor (2013–2018) and Literary Editor for Autostraddle.com, with bylines in Nylon, Refinery29, The Toast, Bitch, The Daily Beast, Jezebel, and elsewhere. They live in Los Angeles and also on twitter and instagram.
Ryan has written 1142 articles for us.
What a delightful surprise, Maddy Court (of xenaworrierprincess lesbian meme fame) did that FIST interview!
Wow, those literary passages were…bad.
It‘s not hyperbole when I say that most virgin teenagers writing lesbian sex in slash fanfiction are doing better than this.
Like, a lot.
This almost makes me want to read „Fifty Shades of Grey“,that’s how bad this list is.
Zero regrets about being a gold star lesbian,atm.
Also, I’m overcome with the desire to send my straight female friends fruit and chocolate baskets, so that they’ll at least have some sensual joy in their life.
Maybe throw some bath salts and candles in there,too.
I think it’s cause virgin teenagers:
a) Likely have a better grasp on genitalia, especially if they masturbate manually, and actual desires as female people.
b) They’re less likely to be over confident little shits and take more considerations with their scenes than a Big Time Author-Man does
c) What you read informs your authorship, fan-fic is pound for pound better than mainstream writing cause writers of fan-fic never stop improving and have better more diverse pool of feedback/concrit.
[i.e] Those virgins teens may have never had sex or even masturbated, but they’ve def read fic by authors who’ve been writing and evolving since the 90’s and likely have had plenty of sex by now. A Big Time Author-Man has likely only read stuff by other Big Time Author-Men and once they make it their grown stunts, the concrit pool is shallow and has the same reading list in their background.
Sometimes I wish I was majoring in something at 4 year post-secondary school so I could use this as a thesis topic, but alas I’m rather dysgraphic and unwealthy.
To sum it up: They CARE about their characters and usually take great care to imagine what would feel nice for both (or more,or less) parties involved and then craft carefully what is often a pivotal scene in their story.
This list has me flabbergasted,too, because those are published male authors who don’t give a lot of thought and zero care to the other half of their couplings. I mean..Haruki Murakami’s (he’s wildly popular in Germany) excerpt is using cheap hyperbole with a woman who is asleep. How is that even ok? And the rest…I’m pretty sure the guy with the enameled pepper grinder patted himself congratulatory on his back for his originality.
They care yeah and it’s bigger than people realise but truly better read than a mainstream Big Time Author-Man. There’s a reason Guy In Your MFA is the joke that it is, MFA programs are stagnant little pools of Big Time Author-Manning.
Fan-fic authors have decades of honing their skills and reading libraries worth of works by others, MFA programs last what 4 years and the reading material is stale white-bread.
Ugh that free love article. Yet another think piece on polyamory by a (presumably) monogamous author presenting their own personal biases and discomfort as the default worldview. Yawn
YouPorn it’s banning Starbucks in their offices and Pornhub has, now, a “Safe for Work” category.
Except if Starbucks is using a block designed by the CIA or the Pentagon, most of that crap can be pass and you don’t need to be a genius to do it.
But yes, watching porn in a coffee shop? That’s my limit.