Welcome to NSFW Sunday!
Darya by Lobbiaz
+ Em and Lo have 25 rules for booty calls. Highlights: separate sex and love (um, obviously), text rather than call, don’t leave personal items behind and don’t make assumptions:
“People rely on a tacit understanding when it comes to casual sex with their friends and neighbors, and especially their exes. But it’s silly to assume that everyone “understands” the exact same set of personal guidelines. The implicit, unlegislated booty call is a complicated procedure, due to varying agendas, the likelihood of miscommunication, and the chance of emotional intimacy. The smart people know that without rules, there are expectations, and those, by definition, make things messy. Even if you don’t think you have any expectations, that in itself is an expectation: That you not expect anything of me, that you not sleep over, that you not get mad if I don’t text you back.”
via gray37.tumblr.com
+ The Hairpin has a series on how to become a bisexual/queer-identified/questioning person in several easy steps (and a part two):
3. Make out with girl when drunk (kissed a girl and I liked it).
4. Break up with boy.
5. Sudden desire to spend time with girl.
6. Watch first episode of The L Word.
7. Watch three whole seasons of The L Word … in two weeks.
via pinktacolovers.tumblr.com
+ Viagra for women, in the form of nasal spray, is now undergoing clinical trial in Australia, Canada and the US.
+ Sex educator Betty Dodson runs workshops on female masturbation in which everyone gets naked and talks about, shows off, and uses their vaginas. And NY Mag sent a reporter to one:
“When I entered the main room there were seven nude women lying on towels and cushions casually chatting. The décor was an interesting mix of shabby chic and dildo museum. There was cozy wall-to-wall carpeting and tons of huge pillows, but also fake penises everywhere you looked. The message was clear: Relax, make yourself at home… and then penetrate yourself.
As I found my place on an empty cushion, Betty, also in the buff, joined us. The first exercise of the day was to go around the room and talk about how we felt about our bodies and our orgasms. Every woman had a unique body and set of issues, but there were definitely some common themes. No matter how beautiful each girl was there was some type of trauma around puberty or adolescence. By the end of the chat I felt like I was hanging out with a bunch of old friends who were all naked for some reason.”
via lasmujeresrealestienencurvas.tumblr.com
+ Los Angeles passed a law that requires porn actors to use barriers for all forms of vaginal or anal penetration:
“While it sounds like a good idea — who doesn’t like safer sex?! — its passage has been met with strong protests from porn studios and adult film actors, who claim the Measure is much worse than meets the eye. Rather than promoting safer sex, they argue, Measure B is a solution in search of a problem, an overreach into the artistic expression of people who have sex on camera. And, once enacted, it could actually make the day-to-day life of porn actors worse — or prompt the industry to just pick up and move.”
Relatedly, a Smithsonian blog post explores the impact the law will have, while Melissa Gira Grant argues that it targets the wrong people for the wrong reasons.
via deviantfemme.tumblr.com
+ Studies on hook up culture are wrong. According to a newer study of female college students:
“Before starting college, one-third of incoming freshmen women reported having at least one hookup, while nearly 60 percent said they had sex at least once in the context of a romantic relationship. Forty percent reported sexual hookups during the first year of college, and less than one in five participants had a sexual hookup each month. However, more than half – 56 percent – engaged in oral and/or vaginal sex with a boyfriend or romantic partner during the year.
The average number of sexual hookups per month ranged from one to three, suggesting that – for most women – hookups are experimental and relatively infrequent as opposed to a regular pattern of behaviour.”
via ladylicks.tumblr.com
+ Porn! It is old:
“The ‘Venus of Willendorf,’ carved between 22,000 and 24,000 BCE. It is generally considered a fertility symbol, and some theorists have argued that it represents a goddess-worshipping, matriarchal prehistoric society. That is certainly one reading. Another is that it’s porn. […] Fertility symbol she may be, but the road to fertility starts with stimulating sexual arousal, and that qualifies Ms. of Willendorf as porn. Before we had agriculture, before we had roads or metal or even the bare beginnings of serious civilization, we had porn.”
via lingerielesbian.tumblr.com
+ Related: watching porn can change your sex life, but only if you want it to.
+ BREAKING: People thinking about or having sex are more into the idea of sex than people thinking about a room they are in, according to a new study published in the Journal of Sexual Medicine.
Eyes Shut by Lobbiaz
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I am the ABSOLUTE worst at leaving my phone charger behind at the residencies of one-night stands. I never go back for them, though; I just buy another and beg for Radio Shack gift cards when the holidays come around because of this inevitability. Those two months where I did not have a phone were absolute bliss.
I wear layers of clothing like always and so I have lost too many cardigans and tank tops because I just couldn’t find them. I never go back for them, but eventually I just run into them being worn by somebody else.
There is a ridiculous amount of “mystery socks” in my apartment that I’m sure I’ve never bought. I guess this is where they come from!
I usually am able to find all my socks in the morning. My problem has always been finding my underwear….
Are people who engage in one night stands more likely to have a casual attitude towards socks?
“The Things We Left Behind (Aside From Our Dignity)” by Lanie and Fonseca
Can this be a “Listling Without Commentary” please?
Most hotels have a cache of chargers left behind in rooms, and will often give them out without asking questions. Depending on the popularity of your phone, and what kind of charger it has, you can often just pick up a replacement.
Why do so many articles about sex start with, “Thanks to 50 Shades of Grey”, or “Since the rise in popularity of 50 Shades of Grey…”? Has that book really been so influential that it’s caused a massive sexual liberation and in fact been responsible for the results of every single sex-related study since its release, or is that just the only hook people can think of into their article? I don’t come from a place where 50 Shades of Grey has provided any sort of awakening, so I really can’t say (but I mean, if it really has helped lots of people with their sex lives, good for them).
“Viagra for women, in the form of nasal spray…”
nasal spray. really. there’s some kind of sad, cruel irony in making a sex-related medication in the least sexy form of medicine. nasal spray.
i mean, i guess it’s better than a suppository? sort of?
Especially interesting since Freud and his friend Fliess were so convinced that a woman’s sexuality was connected to the ears, nose, and throat.
I know! I also don’t really see why it has to be a nasal spray, because I compound testosterone gels for a lot of women with low sex drive at my pharmacy, and they just rub it onto areas with soft skin (i.e. under the arms, inside of the thighs) or to their inner labia. It seems like they are just trying to make more money by branding it and then charging ten times more for a pre existing product, because hormone replacement therapy is already a thing.
My first thought: cocaine.
“The décor was an interesting mix of shabby chic and dildo museum.”
brb feng-shuing my apartment/life
Hooray for Betty Dodson and lady Viagra!
Boo to the law in LA.
And WTF to the Venus of Willendorf as porn. Not every depiction of a nude female body is automatically “porn.” That interpretation is projecting contemporary views of women’s bodies as sexual objects onto a past social structure that we know little about.
I dunno, it could be porn or it could be somethingelse nobody has even considered, we can’t ever really know. Porn is just not the sort of thing polite academics suggest so they suggest it’s a fertility symbol instead, which is just as much a projection. Still, looking at stuff carved by a human over twenty thousand years ago is pretty cool regardless.
The “porn theory” for the Willendorf Venus (and presumably all other Palaeolithic Venus’s, I mean, it’s not like it’s the only one! Not to mention Neolithic figurines…..) is SO OLD. That, and the “maybe it was a kid’s toy” idea. I mean, fair enough- WE DON’T KNOW. Period. And I respect the “archaeology of sexuality”, and the “archaeology of childhood”, as important perspectives. But considering the huge amount of evidence for female deities in prehistory, regardless of whether or not you buy the Gimbutas-style “mother goddess” idea, I think it’s highly likely that it was either a symbolic art object or an actual “religious icon” if we can apply such terribly anachronistic terms. Ultimately, though, we shall never know. *sigh*
as a trans* woman, I’d be interested in what sort of reception I’d get at a masturbation class?…it is female masturbation, I am a woman, but I don’t exactly have the same parts as most cis women.
Did any other Californians notice that the 3rd link under the Measure B article was rather about the statewide measure Prop 35 on human trafficking?
The two articles about finding out about your bisexuality/queerness/etc. sounded like those Dodge Dart commercials in my head. But I really liked it so I want to write my own.
1. Wear your brother’s clothes and crush on the only out girl in your middle school.
2. Make out with a mormon girl on your golf team and like it even though you’re both “straight.”
3. Have your heart broken by that girl and go to college.
4. Come out as bisexual after kissing another girl.
5. Come out as lesbian after kissing yet another.
6. Meet your first girlfriend on tumblr (yikes).
7. Break up with her when she tells you she is thinking of your children’s names.
8. Have a three-way on New Year’s Eve and kiss a boy for the first time. Not that bad.
9. Be confused about boys while dating girls.
10. Enjoy girls way too much to worry about boys.
11. Come out as queer to ease your mind.
12. Read Autostraddle and fall back in love with women, exclusively.
OK, so I’m a little late for NSFW Sunday because…well, it’s Tuesday (I’m pretty sure of it)…and I’m at work. But I just want to say, that third pic just made my whole day. Thank you.
Freckles, my GOD FRECKLES, sports bra tan lines, all the skin, the hair, the RED! Yayness.