Feature image of Mystic Minaxxx and Nyxeris Omega in Crash Pad Series episode 268. All of the photographs in this NSFW Sunday are from the Crash Pad Series. The inclusion of a visual here should not be interpreted as an assertion of the model’s gender identity or sexual orientation. If you’re a photographer or model and think your work would be a good fit for NSFW Sunday, please email carolyn at autostraddle dot com.
Welcome to NSFW Sunday!
It can be hard to get down when you have dysphoria. At Broadly, Serena Sonoma writes about what helped her as a self-identified pre-op trans woman start to get more sexually comfortable with herself, and recommends watching porn that shows women who look like you, going slow, and communicating with your partner:
“When I recently started having sex again, I was too timid to let my partner know what I wanted. I thought going with the flow would help the mood, but I now realize that I was actually keeping myself from getting my physical needs and wants met. I was letting internalized shame and self-consciousness take over instead of enjoying the moment. It was only after I started communicating with my partner that sex became really pleasurable—for both of us. […]
It may seem like a turn off to talk about the parts of yourself that you find least attractive. But when you’re dealing with gender dysphoria, it can be really helpful to share your insecurities with your partner. That way, they can know where to apply extra attention, what to avoid, and when to move slowly. It can also help to tell them what words you find most gender-affirming to describe different body parts.”
Sometimes sex positivity just feels like pressure to have sex or to conduct relationships in a certain way. At the Establishment, Franki Cookney writes:
“For me, sex positivity is about consent and communication. It means being open and informed; it has never meant an obligation to experiment or push boundaries. As far as I’m concerned, the decision not to have sex is just as sex positive as the decision to have sex, as long as it’s done consensually and without judgement or shame.
But not everyone interprets it that way.”
If you have a vagina, don’t get it rejuvenated.
Is it anxiety or is it stress?
At Oh Joy Sex Toy, Erika Moen writes about bacterial vaginosis, noting, “While there are home remedies that involve the usual ingredients like garlic and apple cider vinegar and tea tree oil, I recommend you not fuck around and just go straight to your doctor.”
Do you get sad after sex sometimes? Turns out that’s called postcoital dysphoria.
Here’s what Venus in your birth chart means.
Having sex can make life feel more meaningful, according to researchers:
“They found that having sex on one day was associated with more positive mood states the following day, and also a greater feeling that life is meaningful. (The converse wasn’t true: Positive moods or more meaning in life one day was not associated with more sex the next.) The overall pattern of findings were the same for men and women. Explaining their findings, the researchers said that, ‘Meaning in life often arises when an individual feels their basic need for belonging is met with someone.’
In terms of the nature of the sexual experience, greater sexual pleasure, but not greater intimacy, was associated with better mood the next day. Kashdan’s team said this adds to growing evidence ‘… that often hedonic pleasures and motives are as important to cultivating a good life as deep, meaningful, or virtuous activity.’”
