This was a great week in queer celebrity Instagram in that the Emmys happened and so some of them got dressed up! My experience watching the Emmys was mainly limited to sighing out loud every time Holland Taylor and Sarah Paulson appeared on screen together, because even if the entire world is on fire their love is currently the only thing helping me hold it together.
Sarah Paulson took that part in American Horror Story: Asylum where Frances Conroy shows up as the Angel of Death and turned it into a dress for the Emmys and by gosh she looks like a goddamn vision.
If you had ever told me in 1999 that nearly twenty years later, in the year of our lord 2018, a pop singer would quote a Crazy Town song and I’d be kinda into it, I wouldn’t have believed you for a minute.
I like to imagine these two as a dreamy new couple hitting the red carpet but it’s actually just Queen of My Heart (and former AS writer) Gabrielle Korn with Other Queen of My Heart Lauren Jauregui doing Fashion Week things. A girl can hope.
Mine.
I’m going to put Jen Richards in here every single time she posts anything so she’ll be inspired to post more often! This is my dream. Look how good Jen looks!
(Cue the “Bottomless Mimosas” song from Empire)
https://www.instagram.com/p/Bny_KszlAO4/?taken-by=evanrachelwood
Try and tell me Evan Rachel Wood isn’t planning on going to outer space, I dare you. She’s exactly the kind of dramatic queen who would post a bunch of Insta videos of herself lip syncing “Life on Mars” FROM MARS.
https://www.instagram.com/p/Bnpii3VHY5Z/?taken-by=kehlani
I can’t handle Kehlani’s love for Jennifer Lopez right now, I’m going to need to sit down.
I’d like to fan the flames that keep all this speculation going as much as I possibly can.
This week in the Gayest Photo in King Princess’ Instagram
….Is this a Thirst Trap Award? I’m giving it here anyway.
Even Lena Waithe cannot resist the Mommi power that is within Debra Messing.
Join us next week to witness a very special episode of Evan Rachel Wood Takes Space Camp (I wish).
I decided to pretend these were all promos for upcoming movies and now I can’t decide which I want to watch most.
Actually it’s prob the Janelle one.
Sarah Paulson is starring in a misandrous psychological thriller remake of Black Swan where all the patriarchal structures get burned to the ground in the last frame. But not before the antagonists lose what little of their minds they have.
Hayley Kiyoko is starring in an international dance sports rivalry movie that combines team dynamics, fierce competition, and a prolonged scene when both teams show up in the same bar after an event. Also intense dance flirting.
10/10 would watch
Cara Delevingne is starring in a mistaken identity heist comedy drama.
Jen Richards is starring in a time-travelling rom com…at a bookstore, every time she picks up a particular book she finds herself transported. And so are we.
The scene where she hugs a shark after opening a book in the marine section is unexpectedly sweet.
Samira Wiley is starring in this year’s Holiday movie. It’s a road trip with friends and family along the way to pick up a puppy across the country before the pound has to shut down.
She’s recovering from a broken heart, and finds love in every way.
You will never need to watch another Holiday movie again.
Well, Stef already gave away the plot to the Evan Rachel Wood movie. But did she tell you about the interstellar community ERWB builds through her karaoke nights? Oh…the movie’s a musical btw.
Kehlani is starring in a gripping documentary about her discovery of anti-gravity. Tells the patriarchy “you can’t handle this”.
All I can reveal about the one that Janelle is in is that it will be a triple threat emotion picture. I don’t think there’s any way we can prepare ourselves.
King Princess’ new movie is a thriller told in 39 snapshots.
Cameron Esposito is voicing the most adorable stop motion movie ever. The scene where Cammy spills her drink over a cutie and then tries to wring her out is hilarious.
….and Lena Waithe just made us all have to go and have a lie-down.
Comment award for Snaelle.
1. Now I have that stupid Crazy Town song in my head but I’m not even mad because Hayley is so cute.
2. ERWB is living her best nerd life these days and I’m so happy for her.
3. Kehlani’s whole top… situation. I have questions.
Come come my lady
You’re my butterfly
Sugar baby
Come my lady you’re my pretty baby
I’ll make your legs shake
You make me go crazy
Come come my lady
You’re my butterfly, sugar baby
Come my lady you’re my pretty baby
I’ll make your legs shake
You make me go crazy
Jes Macallan decided to REALLY do some hair porn.
https://www.instagram.com/p/Bn2UoUkFnU9/?taken-by=jesmacallan
Gabrielle Korn is starring in a mockumentary about lesbian invisibility. She wears progressively brighter outfits throughout ending with a glaring neon-lit dress that literally renders them unable to see her.
The glorious irony is that we as the audience can only see her.
Thank you I was really hoping you’d loop back for this late addition.
I’m all about the feeling seen ?
King Princess’s movie is one of those 90’s soft core (porn) and suspense films that passed for mainstream somehow ya grew up watching on basic cable only getting half the steam until adulthood or accidental HBO acquirement and the full steam almost killed ya.