No Filter: Hayley Kiyoko Stars in My Imaginary Remake of “Children of the Corn”

Once again it is Wednesday and we find ourselves in the loving embrace of No Filter, a column designed to bring you only the very finest *Italian chef kiss* in queer celebrity Instagram. This week, even though I don’t think she’d ever want to be included in this column, I only want to talk about this:

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#aboutlastnight

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Perhaps you, like me, would like to imagine that Nichols, Chapman and Poussey are all hanging out with Poussey’s hot wife somewhere in heaven, and you, like me, refuse to watch season 6 of Orange is the New Black because you refuse to have that image shattered forever by (most likely) reality.

One time at my job I asked Natasha Lyonne to smoke in the smoking section instead of directly under the neighbor’s windows and the look she gave me was a lot like frame 3, but meaner.


Whoever gave Gaby Dunn this jacket is feeding a monster.


I grew Hayley Kiyoko in this field for you.

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Me and Tokes doing pre-show warming up in Osaka.

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Annie Clark even looks like this when she soundchecks, further proof that life is not fair.

https://www.instagram.com/p/BnLItNpApV4/?taken-by=kingprincess69
Every week I’m like damn, what’s the gayest photo in King Princess’ Insta feed? and this week there was a lot of competition but this image of the Gayest Couple of 2018 won my imaginary contest.

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That time I hung out with Helen/Lisa/Robin. #tbt

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HAS ANYONE SEEN MY NEW RED HAT?????

https://www.instagram.com/p/BnPAVprHVW7/?taken-by=kehlani
The guy in the background repeatedly asking, “Whose mans is this???” is me.


I just spent 10 minutes flipping through Emily Hampshire’s Insta looking at all the adoring photos of Teddy and COME ON you guys.


Ruby Rose didn’t post any good gay content this week so I went back a few weeks to this photo of a studious Rose on the set of my favorite movie The Meg, taking notes regarding the teeth of this fake prehistoric shark. This is where Ruby learned to kiss like this.

https://www.instagram.com/p/BnRhYJ3BqId/?taken-by=janellemonae
Janelle Monáe and this olive are better kissers than Ruby Rose, you heard it from me.

Next week I am hopeful for more of My Girlfriend Janelle Monáe in Paris content.

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Stef

Stef Schwartz is a founding member and the self-appointed Vapid Fluff Editor at Autostraddle.com. She currently resides in New York City, where she spends her days writing songs nobody will ever hear and her nights telling much more successful musicians what to do. Follow her on twitter and/or instagram.

Stef has written 464 articles for us.

14 Comments

  2. Janelle just looks a million times more effortlessly French than I do and I’m just going to give up my nationality to her rn.

    Olive to serve.

    • I do because I was standing in line in front of them at a Rite Aid. As I left the store a paparazzi asked me what they bought, I didn’t answer.

  6. Dancing in front of a pride flag in Mykonos* is..not really helping Ms.Lohan’s straight street cred.

    I was not prepared for those horrible kissy pics. Maybe a warning there next time,Stef? I’m afraid I won’t be able to unsee this, ever.
    Best excuse though:”I thought I was supposed to be older.” and then she just tried to swallow her face to make up for the age difference so no one would notice?

    Janelle, if you decide to head on east:Berlin has some fantastic kebab places.

    *Mykonos: Legendary Greek island used by vacationing lesbians since ca.600 B.C.

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