Playlist: The Most Misandrist Anthems

feature image via Shutterstock

Men! They mansplain politics and say “well, actually” every time you tweet about something comics- or politics-related. They take up three seats on the train without a smidgen of remorse. They buy you a cocktail and act indignant when you refuse, even though you didn’t ask for or agree to drink it in the first place. They need so many back pats for their bizarrely self-righteous feminism. Sometimes they wake up and decide maybe they’ll defund Planned Parenthood today, or pass sweeping anti-LGBT legislation in their states, maybe that’s something they can find the time to do before dinner.

The good news is you don’t have to handle your feminist ire alone. Dozens of female artists have penned misandrist anthems to help heal our collective rage by commiserating with our frustrations. Below you will find a playlist of 19 of those anthems to empower and soothe you.

I want to give a special thank you to my second favorite Scorpio, Raquel, who contributed several songs to this playlist.

The Most Misandrist Anthems

Caleb Meyer – Gillian Welch
Henry Lee – Crooked Still
Murder in the First Degree – Victoria Spivey
Loud and Wrong – Betty Gray
Frankie & Johnny – Lindsay Lohan
Send Me to the ‘Lectric Chair – Bessie Smith
Nobody Worries ‘Bout Me – Sadie Jackson
Gunpowder & Lead – Miranda Lambert
How I Could Just Kill a Man – Charlotte Sometimes
Cardigan Weather – Meg & Dia
Goodbye Earl – Dixie Chicks
Two Black Cadillacs – Carrie Underwood
Independence Day – Martina McBride
Chick Habit – April March
Ballad of Lizzie Borden – Bill Carrothers & Wendy Lewis
No Man’s Land – Tanya Tucker
The Night The Lights Went Out in Georgia – Reba McEntire
Dead Men Don’t Rape – 7 Year Bitch
The Wedding List – Kate Bush

https://play.spotify.com/user/autostraddle/playlist/04utviBSdWO0EpQRc04kKo

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Mey

Mey Rude is a fat, trans, Latina lesbian living in LA. She's a writer, journalist, and a trans consultant and sensitivity reader. You can follow her on twitter, or go to her website if you want to hire her.

Mey has written 572 articles for us.

54 Comments

  1. Well, actually… I thought misandry was in the same league as unicorn tears. ;)

    Great list, Mey. =D

  3. You guys because of the cover photo I would please like to request a roundup of the best misandrist stock photos.

    • Yessss love this song (I wrote a whole record about how my dad is an asshole hahaha)

  8. CALEB MEYER AMEN . Gillian and Dave opened with that one when I saw them in Bristol and I damn near killed every man in the theater, so inspired was I!

  13. hahah I was all “These boots are made for walking!” but these are on a whole ‘nother level.

  14. I’m surprised “All Men Are Pigs” by Studio Killers isn’t on this list. That’s my go to for days when they’re all just too much to handle.

    • So much love for this playlist. A few months ago I made a “femme supremacy” playlist (bit.ly/femmesupremacy) and a few of these tracks are on there; clearly I should see about putting more of the ones I didn’t know about in! <3

    • Oh that reminds me of Gunpowder and Lead by Miranda Lambert, if you don’t know it don’t look up it might be triggering.

      Basically it’s about a woman waiting at home for her man to make bail and get home so she can shoot him.
      Trust me he earned, but eh I think that song might be too straight to be on a playlist from here.

      Plenty of misandrist songs in country music but they are generally about going to be about straight relationships.

  18. Dern it! I didn’t think of it before I hit submit on my previous comment, but consider Goodbye Earl maybe.

    It’s a song about 2 lady friends joyfully murdering the other’s physically abusive husband, getting away with it then living happily ever after and running a small business together. It was possibly the first time and shipped fictional characters together and imagined them having a happily ever after fer real. >_>

    [youtube https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lDk_iLFu2oY&w=420&h=315%5D

    • Ergh I need to sleep and stop doing 3 things at once because it is already on the list along with Gunpowder & Lead.

      But hey lyric video is what I picked so if anybody is think of learning that song go fer it.

      *headdesks and falls asleep on desk*

  20. Really, Mey? You’re one of my favorite writers and Staffers. I’m honestly surprised you’ve jumped on the misandry bandwagon. We fight so hard to not stereotype or be stereotyped based on gender identity or race on this site, so when I see members of my own community doing the same thing to other groups, it just reeks of hypocrisy to me.

    Sexism is a problem. Misogyny is a problem. Many people of ALL genders are complicit in oppression. (See: Saraj Palim, Carly Fiorina, BOTH of Leelah Alcorn’s parents…)

    • Other “groups”? Men are a group now? It’s not like they’re oppressed. They are the majority in terms of power. They have all the control. What, exactly, can Mey do to oppress men? Give them a dirty look? Misandry isn’t any more “real” than “reverse racism”.

      • Men are not oppressed, and I think it is great to vent. But I think Maggie does have a point? My best friend was raped by two women on separate accounts, and my brother was bullied by a girl who hated men. I have to draw a line when it gets to that point.

        • Yes, women can be awful people too, but it’s apples and oranges. Hatred and systemic oppression against minorities is very different than hatred of an oppressing majority.

          However, was it misandry that created the culture and society that your brother and best friend were harmed by? Or is it misogyny and the patriarchy that hurts men too?

          It’s the patriarchy that doesn’t take the rape, bullying, and assault of men seriously. It’s the patriarchy that created the conditions for those women (who should be criminals) to lash out. It’s the patriarchy that doesn’t recognize those women rapists as rapists.

          I understand no one wants to jump on the hater train, but misandry is still really no different than unicorn tears. It’s not real. It’s not a problem. The problem is systemic oppression and disregard of minorities… and the good people in the majority suffer from this too.

          Stay on target. The problem isn’t hating men.

          • I would agree that “systematic misandry,” isn’t real or the “primary” problem. However, I would also argue that some ideologies of misandry are real if anyone looks at the fatalistic theories of radicals like Valerie Solanas and Andrea Dworkin and I would argue that in small ways they’ve added to the problem. They’ve alienated allies, given credibility to enemies, and contributed to a hostile political climate that equates coexistence with treason. I feel that way about any separatist group within any larger movement.

            I realize that’s not what these post is about. It’s just about finding ways to vent and which is fine, but why promote a gender essentialist mind set by saying THIS IS WHAT MEN DO? That kind of rhetoric doesn’t leave me feeling personal threatened since I’ve heard enough and read enough know when it shouldn’t be taken too seriously, but what about the less informed. If “no one want to jump on the hater train” why not just vent at patriarchy?

          • I understand completely what your saying, it is definitely the patriarchy backfiring on itself. Oppressed groups have a right to be bitter towards oppressors. My main worry is that I feel some women might be letting their anger get the best of them and start fueling the patriarchy with their actions. As a mixed race queer person, the last thing I want to do is prove to the patriarchy that they are right about me. (But of course I also understand we can’t expect minorities to always set a perfect example in order to get respect from the patriarchy).

          • @ian-kitch says ” If “no one want to jump on the hater train” why not just vent at patriarchy?”

            THAT IS WHAT WE ARE DOING WHEN WE JOKE/TALK ABOUT MISANDRY.

            We are reacting to the patriarchy.

            And honestly, there is nothing that matters less to me than whether the ways in which I do that make you feel threatened or uncomfortable.

            It’s not about you.

    • I’ve been wondering about this. I’m not very comfortable with the idea of misandry either. I’m a cis woman, and it still gives me a little shiver in the gut every time I read it. At the same time, I’m pretty sure Mey and the others who use the term are getting something out of it that’s important to them and that I don’t entirely understand, partly because of my particular place in the privilege map and partly because of a certain obstinate literalism that seems to be just baked into the way my brain works. I think I’d be more comfortable here if I felt like I understood a little better why some straddlers find this word useful, what makes them want to use it. I mean, I get the anger, just not the specific choice of that way to express it, and I’d like to understand. I’d love an article discussing, essentially, what the word misandry means to the people here who use it, in what ways their usage is serious and/or literal and in what ways it’s not, how it makes them feel to us it, if they have or used to have any reservations about using it and how those have shifted over time. All that stuff.

      • also (Mike), andrea dworkin is transphobic and anyone who lets transphobic discourse influence their feminism is not a feminist.

        • Exactly. Encouraging and endorsing transphobia is hate speech and perpetuates the ongoing epidemic of violence. TERFs aren’t feminists. They’re allies of the patriarchy.

        • While I strongly oppose people like the late Andrea Dworkin who promote the idea of civil censorship as component of civil rights, I’d never heard this before. I feel weird about defending anyone whose bleak view of sexuality and legal proposals I despise, but this passage from a Wikipedia article on feminist views of Trangender and Transexual people suggest she was actually a supporter!(?)

          (n Woman Hating: A Radical Look at Sexuality, published in 1974, radical feminist writer and activist Andrea Dworkin called for the support of transsexuals, whom she viewed as “in a state of primary emergency” due to “the culture of male–female discreteness”. Dworkin asserted that “every transsexual has the right to survival on his/her own terms. That means every transsexual is entitled to a sex-change operation, and it should be provided by the community as one of its functions.” She further opined that the phenomenon of transsexuality might disappear in a free society, giving way to entirely new identities.)

          • The fact is that Andrea Dworkin was about as pro-trans as any feminist of her generation could possibly have been. I’d use “transphobic” as an adjective for any number of her contemporaries, before applying it to her.

      • Borealis – I also have a certain non-NT brain pattern that makes it rather hard to recognize things that aren’t meant to be taken literally. It’s the sort of thing that used to make me wonder if they’re was even a place for me writing or even reading on this site when I saw misandry used with praised.

        It’s not about me (as queer girl pointed out) and I don’t much care that it isn’t. However, it always worries a little when I hear gays trashing straights or blacks trashing white or jews trashing gentiles etc, because of what kind of reacting it might mean for them!. Brit put it succinctly: “Oppressed groups have a right to be bitter towards oppressors. My main worry is that I feel some women might be letting their anger get the best of them and start fueling the patriarchy with their actions”

    • When I get some dude telling me he wants to sleep with me when I’m just walking down the street, when I get texts from random of their genitals, when my family tells me that I’m at fault for the unwanted attention, when I think of the times men have felt entitled to my body when I couldn’t consent, that’s when I think to listen to “misandry music.” It’s what I fantasize about when I need to feel powerful when I’ve been stripped of dignity. I don’t know that joking about hating men is the same as oppressing them. Anyway….that’s how I feel about it.

  22. I am a white male in my 50’s, the father of a wonderful, possibly lesbian daughter (she’s figuring it out). I am here to educate myself, to learn how to be an effective supporter and feminist man. I teach developmental writing in a community college and try to check my cis/hetero-white privilege.
    Will I be pilloried if I suggest that maybe an iota of acknowledgement be offered that not all men are terrible, self-involved, abusive pigs? The language in this post and it’s comments is pretty absolutist.

    • a) careful there with “not all men” you’re straying toward twitter-hashtag-dom
      b) honestly? lighten up. i’m white. sometimes people talk about how awful white people are. they’re not calling me awful. they’re not saying every single white person to ever exist is the worst. this is the same idea. we (mostly) all have men we know and love, but sometimes you just need to rant about men as a concept because omg why do they exist. get it?

      • I appreciate you, CB, noting that most of the people here know and feel affection for some males (fathers, brothers, sons, co-workers, etc.). I thank you for taking the time to respond with some patience. I get that white male tears are so much annoying BS. I agree that the patriarchy sucks. I’ve fought it to the best of my ability. I also realize Autostraddle is a safe place site where members can let lose. Maybe I should lighten up a bit as you suggest… But “Lighten up, babe” is pretty much what racists, homophones, misogynists, and their ilk say when called out for their jokes and rhetoric (picture the smug Sean Hannity). Not saying you’re any of those obviously. I know reverse racism “isn’t a thing”. I understand why All Lives Matters is nonsense.

        Nonetheless, I still think that a brief disclaimer in this sort of post that, indeed, not all men are jerks is valid. Guess I’m facing hashtag purgatory. So it goes. Rock on.

        • while that’s true re: “lighten up,” i don’t think it’s really comparable. as you mention, reverse racism isn’t a thing, misandry doesn’t equate to misogyny, etc. in-groups talking shit about those less privileged than them is a distinctly different thing than an oppressed group complaining about their oppressors (not to get to heavy in my language…). and also, as you note, autostraddle is a safe space created to serve queer women. while anyone at all is free to read the site and learn from it and share in the laughs because the site’s writers are brilliant and funny, they shouldn’t expect to be accommodated on a site not actually for them. i’m not saying a disclaimer would be a bad thing, per se, but it doesn’t really serve the site’s audience.

    • You know, the second a post like this is made, someone feels the immediate need to say, “Not all men!”

      Every time police murder a person of color everyone is quick to say, “Not all cops!”

      It isn’t ABOUT the good people in the majority. Taking away from the conversation to focus on the good people in the oppressive group and ignoring the suffering of the oppressed group is inherently selfish.

      I’m not “fortunate” enough to have white privilege 100%, because my whiteness is conditional based on the other white people around me who racialize and other me as a Jew. That being said, I’m still white, and when people of color talk about the oppression caused by white people, the first thing out of my mouth is NOT, “Well, not ALL white people…”

      My first response is usually, “You’re right. What could I do to help?” And maybe it’s just listening to the anger. I don’t take it personally. The good men shouldn’t take it personally either. When we have majority status and we try to make something about ourselves we’ve failed. We’ve utterly missed the point.

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