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“A man has never taught me anything I didn’t already know.” Laneia, are you my twin?
Also, shout out to exes teaching weed skills! ?
My first boyfriend tried to teach me how to drive stick (wocka wocka) but my skills were apparently so bad that I gave him an actual migraine and we had to go home.
My first girlfriend taught me that if she introduces you to all her friends on the second date, she may be dating you to prove something.
My last boyfriend taught me that if you go to Restore every single day early in the morning you can find housing materials for cheap! And that vaginal orgasms are indeed possible for me.
And my last girlfriend reads Autostraddle, so…hi! lol.
Hats off to restore!
But which ex taught Riese to lie scandalously about her age?
definitely it was the 27-year-old i dated when i was 18, because we went to bars a lot
anyhow clearly i’m getting senile MY AGE HAS BEEN FIXED also there was another post where i said i was 36 and it took me like a week of editing it to notice the error, and even then i had to count in my head like “am i 35 or 36?” (i’m 35!)
P.S. Can I get the number of that ex who taught Kayla how to eyeliner? I need them in my life.
Same, but only after I’ve met the ex who taught Erin not to burn garlic.
My last boyfriends taught me that I actually prefer women!
Still haven’t dated a lady type yet (hey y’all..), so I’ll let you know all of the wondrous things I’ll learn at a later date
One ex taught me taught me where all the cool parks are where we went out. Honestly more useful than you think
I learned from an ex that frozen vegetables are so handy for a busy person who also wants to eat healthy. No more worrying about added salt in canned veggies or wondering if that fresh spinach or zucchini is still edible after 2 weeks in the fridge!
I taught them that you don’t have to eat those veggies plain. A little rosemary, garlic and lemon juice isnt going to add many calaries but makes brussel sprouts and broccoli so enjoyable!
Also, Hi! If you’re reading this and thanks for that.
What do you do with the rosemary to get the flavour to infuse into the veg?
I’m not Gwen, but I’m a huge fan of roasting vegetables, and for that you can just get some rosemary branches, pull your hand down them so all the needles come off, and throw the needles on top of the stuff in the roasting dish (or break up the branches into smaller pieces and put those in, which is easier to pull out/eat around).
can also sautee or heck just microwave or crock pot if you live in hot climate and avoid the oven/stove. For microwave, better to use fresh herbs but dried still great.
I love this idea!! I also learned how to make eggs in a basket from my ex-girlfriend, a lot of our relationship consisted of us making eggs for/with each other. She also taught me that Crocs are actually a great shoe to bring backpacking because they’re super lightweight and they dry out almost instantly!
My first serious girlfriend taught me how to make eggs pretty much any way (I hate eggs but have proceeded to dazzle all beaus with my egg-cooking abilities) and my last serious girlfriend taught me how to parallel park.
They also taught me loads of unfortunate life lessons, but I’ll keep it positive~
but what is the trick to not burn garlic?? pls help me erin
I personally think garlic was *meant* to burn. It tastes so much better that way ^__^
I’m pretty fluent in another language thanks to my last girlfriend (and very good at charades, since we could barely understand each other for the first few months!).
My ex taught me the correct pronunciation of Ponteland.
did anyone’s ex teach them how to properly sautĂ© fish? asking for a friend…
I get the best results when the oil is hot and the fish is pre-seasoned, even if it is just some salt and pepper. Also, try to only flip it once and using a flavored oil can really make a difference.
praise be. what oil do you use?
I use olive oil but I’m sure you can use any kind, just keep in mind that the fish will pick up a little of the flavor.
next post: useful things i learned from autostraddle commenters
I like garlic infused olive oil also chilli infused oli and lemon infused oil. Buy at the supermarket or make your own. Just chop your garlic or chilli add to olive oil and warm gently on the stove till the flavour infuses into the oil. Same with the lemon but just use the peel minus the pith. Decant into stoppered bottles, it’ll keep well for weeks.
You can do the same thing with pretty well any herb you fancy. Also it’s nice to slowly roast your chillies on a low slow heat too then add to warm oli. Have fun.
Oil. Bugger trying to be quick.
Also, there should be a cut-line if the fish bones are already removed – My dad used to put spices and seasoning in there as well, like a rosemary branch and stuff.
My first boyfriend taught me that I do not do well in a long distance relationship, and shouldn’t ever date someone I can only contact online. And maybe this doesn’t count because it’s current but my present boyfriend taught me that I really really want to date women now and I might be a lesbian, not bisexual.
An ex friend lent me Just Kids by Patti Smith and I was in love with her writing instantly. That friend actually introduced me to a number of books and movies that I’m thankful for. I hope she got something out of Fried Green Tomatoes which she never gave back (at least it was my back-up loaner copy).
I’m grumbling as I’m writing this, because, yes, still angry.
Anyway, both of my exes introduced me to entirely new worlds.
My first gf, to the world of classical music, because she was part of a family of high profile opera performers.
The other to the passion of the thing itself and the performance, because she played.
She also introduced me to avant-garde art and the world of politics, and more importantly, she taught me how to make a homemade latte.
How to whip the milk with a whisk and how to operate one of those cheap but effective espresso stovetop moka tops.
I still use those.
And I guess, this has been therapeutic after all.
One girl I dated introduced me to my favourite webcomic. We haven’t talked in more than two years, but I still read that comic every single day.
My first boyfriend introduced me to a webcomic I still read almost 9 (!) years later.
also me (Achewood comics from an ex).
which comics tho, y’all?
Questionable Content
Loved this; looking forward to more. Autostraddle; the gift that keeps on giving. Great job team!
i have this whole carefully written thing from years ago about what all i learned from my first ex (including the extent to which i love avocado), but these days i’m just like man, i wish our relationship coulda held on long enough for me to pick up her magical gift of perfectly folding bottom sheets. in theory i know how to do it, but i never can get them right.
I can help you, cb.
I’m in the sciences and my ex is in the humanities, so I had a great time learning about his side of the world. Local art scene, great music, literature, political blogs and podcasts, comedy. He also was a ninja at finding improbably rad restaurants. He didn’t teach me how to find spot good restaurants, but I do appreciate that this is a legit skill, hahah.
“before Marni made me brussels sprouts I did not even know that they were a delicious thing that real people ate and not just a thing protagonists complain about in children’s books.”
Ha! Same here! Cook them once a week. So good.
The basics of unbladed staff weapon combat.
Also Netflix.
Gabrielle! Is that you?
You rock, Lex, battle on.
One ex gf taught me how to fold a fitted sheet. Watching her felt felt like I was being given a master class on how not to be a savage impatient non-adult because before that I would get so frustrated that I’d fold it any kind of way just so it would fit into a drawer or I wouldn’t even try and it would sit in a laundry basket until I needed it.
I dated a woman for a while (never made it to the gf stage) who showed me how to give thorough self-breast exams (she was a PA), literally not figuratively. I’m glad she did because a year ago, I found a small lump which turned out to be nothing but I don’t know if I would have found it had she not taught me.
This is going to sound terrible, but my ex-boyfriends made me realize that I was actually dateable (I was a late bloomer who had a million unrequited crushes until towards the end of high school, so I developed a bit of a complex about that back in the day). They helped me to realize that I could own my sexuality and still be myself, if that makes any sense.
We never dated but my ex-roommate made me realize that I was gay (yeaaahhh I fell for my roommate in college and had to live alongside her for a year while being hopelessly in love with her, 0/10 would not recommend), so there’s that. She also got me into a ton of awesome music and taught me how to relax, be more spontaneous, and never apologize for being myself, all of which I am forever grateful for. She was pretty rad.
My ex taught me that I prefer women who aren’t straight. Plus, I learned shouldn’t pine for women and that I can be accepted as queer and trans(thank you autostraddle for acceptance here).
Continuing the egg lessons!: ex taught me that if the pan/oil is pre-heated the eggs stick less.
I love brussels sprouts
I’m amused by the spelling of Brussels Sprouts, which to me, reads as just a bit dirty. Brussel’s sprouts..
Full disclosure: this is in reference to my middle school best friend who for all intents and purposes was basically an ex (we shared a super dramatic joint diary and her parents were very concerned about us sleeping in the same bed).
She taught how time how to play softball–how to catch with a mitt and bat. I mean honestly, does it get any gayer?
Full disclosure: this is in reference to my middle school best friend who for all intents and purposes was basically an ex (we shared a super dramatic joint diary and her parents were very concerned about us sleeping in the same bed).
She taught me how to play softball–how to catch with a mitt and bat. I mean honestly, does it get any gayer?
My ex taught me which way dinosaurs’ wrists are supposed to go (and lots of other fun zoology facts) and introduced me to a number of folk songs I had previously been unaware of.
My ex taught me many useful outdoorsy skills about backpacking, camping, canoeing, etc. And how to use power tools. And how to cook rice properly (I know, shut up).
My ex taught me how to talk to other people with privilege using “we” language, to help them feel supported/build community/demonstrate shared responsibility and modeling of owning one’s privilege when calling them out (i.e. “we as people with cis privilege must work together to dismantle transphobia in our community” rather than “you as a person with cis privilege need to work on dismantling transphobia”). Since the ex taught me this, I feel like more people have been willing to hear me without getting as defensive when I point out microaggressions.
All the eggs story remind me of “Runaway Bride” where Julia Roberts always says she prefers eggs the way her boyfriends love them. And in the end she makes herself all the kind of eggs to explore what kind she really likes. My favorite scene in movies, eggs are important!))
My first love taught me to love classic music again, especially Chopin, and Tori Amos, the genius. And some things about Jewish culture and food. My second gf taught me how to watch art-house movies and rewathcing “L word” with smb can have bigger influence on you then the first time watching alone. My latest ex is great at camping and sirvival skills, I never was taught it, but I am sure if some doomsday will come I would prefer to bring my current gf to the tribe of survivors where my ex will be a really good leader with archery skills and horseriding.))
My ex taught me how to use a tampon and for that, I will be forever grateful. The quality of my life has increased tenfold.
My ex taught me loads of useful things about binder safety and that I am also useless at communicating in relationships…
I was in a relationship between the ages of 18 and 26 so I learnt a lot of things in that time, most notably how almost everything on a car or motorbike works, how to make curry (the English way, at least), how to drive a manual car, how some things on a plane work, how to optimise your path to win a race…
The ex before that taught me how to eat artichokes and edamame, and introduced me to a lot of bands I still listen to, like The Postal Service and Bright Eyes and Tori Amos and Ani. She also taught me that I could have relationships with women and not just silently find them attractive. That was an important one :)
One ex taught me the word “scansion,” and I was instantly mortified that I had graduated college with an English degree and a few years of performing Shakespeare on my resume without ever having heard of scansion.
Dear Kayla, 25, Staff Writer:
If Instagram is crucial, Whataburger is crucial-er. The most crucial, really.