Member2Member Advice: Where the Heck Do You Buy Your Clothes?

Feature Image via svetikdĀ / Getty Images

We love fashion advice, being a style thief, learning how to dress like you are in The Bird Cage, feeling like a powerful femme dyke with press-ons and all that good stuff here at Autostradde. Here’s the thing, though. YOU ALL, all 6,900 of you, are a super valuable resource when it comes to the way that the lesbians, queers, bisexuals and trans and nonbinary folks are wearing clothes because, presumably, you are wearing clothes most days and you had to get them from somewhere! Right? Like I think my logic is sound. You must surely know a range of the best-fitting, most dapper or sensible or femme places to obtain things to put on your body. For example, I sometimes like to get clothes from my girlfriend’s closet, so I will be listing that as a great way to try new styles. I bet you all have some tips on affordability, too!

And if you don’t know where to get clothes, that’s the really important part. I recommend putting a description of what you’re looking for in the comment section and then people who have helpful ideas can swoop in and save the day!

Do you want to just list off all your fave places to find your clothes? You can also do that! I am sure that someone will find this super helpful. Bonus points if you tell us some details about yourself / your style.

I’d love for folks to share, especially, their recommendations for brands that have accessible sizing and a range of plus sizes, places that are affordable and / or (because sometimes it really is an “or”) ethically made, and also would love to know when a place is a woman / queer / trans / POC owned small businesses if you happen to have that info because I am sure everyone here appreciates supporting indie businesses, too! And if you have a shop or clothing business, please don’t be afraid to go ahead and plug yourself in the comments.

So, who’s ready to help each other feel like we all look really hot? I’m ready!!

xoxo,

Nico

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Nico

Nico Hall is a Team Writer for Autostraddle (formerly Autostraddle's A+ and Fundraising Director and For Them's Membership and Editorial Ops person.) They write nonfiction both creative ā€” and the more straightforward variety, too, as well as fiction. They are currently at work on a secret longform project. Nico is also haunted. You can find them on Twitter and Instagram. Here's their website, too.

Nico has written 238 articles for us.

63 Comments

  1. Sorry in advance for this very specific clothing request! I need something to wear to get married in and would love some direction/advice for where to look. Here are some parameters:
    – probably a jumpsuit
    – tomboy femme is probably a helpful descriptor, leaning towards more flowy than structured in this instance
    – I am short and curvy
    – natural fibers (silk???)
    – does not have to be white, but can be

    Does anyone have suggestions for clothing businesses that might make something like this? Things you have seen online that fit the bill? Search terms to google that will bring me to small clothing businesses rather than giant retailers?

    • Laurs Kemp makes original and upcycled pieces – I have a raw silk jumpsuit from her in the color block, but thereā€™s a white version, too. Fashion Brand Company is my other fave, and they have some verrrrrry fun pieces that could be fantastic for a wedding. I just wore an FBC outfit to a wedding last weekend and am taking it to another one this weekend :)

    • Quince has some nice natural fiber separates, I don’t think they have a jump suit but could be worth a look! I’d also search Etsy for linen jumpsuits maybe?? Or even silk. I like goodonyou which ranks ethical clothing and is nice for just finding small brands. Congrats on the marriage!!!

  2. Oh this is exciting!
    I really like mens shoes but I am a UK size 4. So my question is does anyone have recommendations for shoes that fit my tiny but give that good butch vibe and are available in the UK?
    Thank you!

    Ps. One of my favourite places to buy clothes from is lucy and yaks. Their dungarees are amazing and have a really good size range

  3. Maybe try vegetarian shoes. They have a so y in Brighton but you can also buy online. They do everything from workboots to heels and have a quite butch leaning unisex section.

    • Also a long-torsoed queer. I have to look in men’s slim-fit racks. Or for styles that aim for long on regular torsos šŸ˜‚

    • I’m a 6’0 afab queer and feel this so tough! I sometimes will look at companies that make “Tall” specific size ranges, J. Crew or New York & Company come to mind. I’m always torn about this because those companies are 100% fast fashion and not ethical, but I once thrifted a NY&C jumpsuit that fit me TRANSCENDENTLY (and then I promptly lost it, sigh). Good luck out there!

  5. I really struggled to find breastfeeding tops that weren’t really booby so I thought I’d recommend the one brand I’ve found that meet my strict criteria of not making me feel like I’m in costume.
    The brand Vertbaudet (French but deliver across Europe including the UK, and possibly further too) do boxy t-shirts with zips down the side seams (which is also more discreet for when I’m feeding in public). They do have cringy text on the breast (for example one says “family”) but I’ve just sewn patches over the text.
    They are pretty cheap so I imagine very un-ethically made.

  6. Short kings and/or masc-leaning monarchs – where do you get your pants?? I’m 5’2″ with a small build, and I’m looking for 1) simple sturdy pants with good pockets and 2) comfy joggers that aren’t too sporty looking. I’ve had some luck with Dickies and Uniqlo but would love to find more options!

    • I’m also 5’2″ and on the small side, and the only place I’ve ever been able to consistently find “men’s” pants that fit me in the hips without leaving a huge gap in the back when I squat down is at The Gap. Their 32×30 slim fit essential khakis and softwear jeans are all I put on my legs anymore. I’m afraid I can’t help with the joggers part, but hopefully that helps with the sturdy pants with pockets part. Good luck!

    • Old Navy “men’s” joggers might be a good option. I like their athletic fit ones. Have also found some at Bonobos. They have sales pretty regularly.

    • Also love the Gap mens khakis. On the pricier side, J. Crew mens pants go down to smaller sizes (for both waist and leg) and have a similar fit to the Gap skinny leg. Every single pair of my pants is from those 2 brands at this point.

      Another option is Uniqlo. They only sell pants in one length and it is 34 but they hem for free. Not in that many US cities though.

      If you are into workwear I also hear good things about Dovetail.

    • Iā€™m a huge fan of Madewell and Bonobos ā€œathletic fitā€ pants. Perfect for the butt and thighs but cute and masc AF.

  7. Hey Iā€™m looking for accessories and statement pieces that arenā€™t too expensive. preferably masculine but also like, interesting. Iā€™m a transmasc person looking to jazz up my clothes some – Iā€™ve been out for like 4 years now and still figuring out how to dress ā¤ļø

    • i love etsy for that because i can tailor my budget really nicely! lapel pins, collar clips, and ties/bow ties are my go-to butch accessories

  8. Hi all, looking for your recommendations: brands and shops that sell in mainland Europe / germany. I’m a short trans masc usually wearing casual or street wear styles but also wanting to go in a more dandy or flowy direction. Sometimes shop at weekday or uniqlo and looking for more favs.

  9. hello my beloved squad i’m here to praise target’s store brand Goodfellow for affordable fat butch looks. i discovered that the ‘slim-fit’ button downs tend to fit better than a lot of menswear- something about the silhouette keeps the buttons from gapping over my chest and it comes down far enough over my hips to tuck into a waistband nicely

    that being said, any hot tips for vests and blazers that are 1) pretty cheap 2) will sit right over boobs/hips 3)have a wide range of plus-sizes? i know past fashion articles have recced some good shops but a lot of them are more than i can afford and/or may require trial and error for sizing. tailoring an almost-right thing is also out of my budget/skillset which is a personal frustration

  11. I shop a fair-ish amount at thredup! Wishing they had mens clothes already, but often I can find wildfang or Madewell goodies for cheap(ish).

  12. I would love suggestions from Canadians (or people who know where Canadians can buy clothes) or where to buy affordable plus-sized maybe somehwat butch/masc/androgynous clothes for people with large hips/thighs (and smaller waists, AKA pear-shaped people)! Printed short-sleeved button-ups are a plus. The CAD to USD exchange rate makes buying from US stores a daunting proposition.

    (This is for my partner and when I asked what she was looking for she said “I don’t know, and also, what is gender” – in case that helps…)

  13. How do yaā€™ll dress in warm and muggy weather? (And avoid chub rub!) I used to just wear skirts and sundresses all the time, but now Iā€™m leaning more towards linen shorts and patterned button ups. How do I achieve my dream of dressing like a cross between a dad on vacation circa 1990 + Chessie from The Parent Trap? Any and all thoughts welcome, esp recs for plus sizes! šŸ’•

    • Nettle’s Tale and Free Label, two Vancouver BC companies, both have linen shorts, although I think Free Label is taking down their linen inventory tomorrow and Nettle’s Tale’s stock is limited because they’re having an end-of-season sale. I have both kinds of Nettle’s Tale linen shorts (Strait and Bowen) and I love them! Both companies go up to 4X, and Free Label recently expanded to 5X (but not in linen yet I don’t think).

  14. Hopefully this is okay to include her bc bags are an accessory, but does anyone have suggestions (or even search terms) for finding a masc-of-center medium/small bag? Ideally I’d like it to do the job of a purse that can fit a wallet, phone, keys, and a medium book with a strap across my body so the bag rests near my hip (to facilitate carrying a child on my back and being able to grab keys or a wallet without reaching behind me). I use a backpack a lot of the time if I have more stuff to carry, so this is basically for carrying necessities when I’m not wearing a coat and don’t have sufficient pants pockets. I’ve been fine with purses in the past if they are relatively squarish/flat and are low-key colors, but my most recent one is falling apart and I’m struggling to find options I don’t hate.

    • Maybe try ā€œmenā€™s crossbody bagā€? or even without the gender marker (which will unfortunately lead to ā€œwomenā€™sā€ by default), crossbody bags can be a bit plainer and boxier than a purse search might turn up.

    • Not sure if it’s too outdoorsy for your wardrobe, but I really love my Tom Bihn Small Cafe Bag that a former partner convinced me to buy. It’s rain-proof enough for my mild winters in San Francisco / his perpetually misty weather in Seattle. My one caveat is that the rugged materials were a little abrasive against some of my softer shirts. If that’s a dealbreaker for you, I’d still recommend this form factor, which I’ve found to be more convenient than a messenger bag. One of my former coworkers carried a bag like this leather crossbody bag (not familiar with that Etsy shop, just linking as a visual example) every day and it fit perfectly with his dress shirts and slacks aesthetic.

      • Just realized my bag is the Medium Cafe Bag, not the Small! The Medium is so spacious that I can carry around a 13″ MacBook Air in a laptop sleeve, so if you just want to carry a book, I think the Small probably makes sense for you.

    • I really love Harvey’s seatbelt bags. A little pricey, but basically indestructible. They also seem to magically go with both casual and more dressy outfits. Maybe look at their mini messenger?

    • LL Bean has a surprisingly neutral crossbody bag at the moment, in waxed cotton which I think gives it that masc touch. Comes in a few different colors, search Waxed Canvas Crossbody, small.

    • I’m a little late to the party, but Baggalini has good crossbody bags! I’ve been using the same grey Baggalini crossbody since 2016 and it’s held up really well, and still works with my increasingly butch presentation. Some of their designs are a little more femme, but there’s plenty of neutral-to-MOC options in different sizes and shapes depending on your preference.

  15. Looking for within the EU recs on places to buy masc clothes beyond Weekday and Uniqlo. Specifically I want to know where to buy – jeans that will fit my fat ass and masc ā€œgoing outā€ looks, cos I wanna feel hot when I go out but never know how to do this without throwing on a dress and thatā€™s not the vibe!!

  16. Iā€™m just here as a butch to spread the word of athletic fit pants. It took me years to find them but once I discovered them they finally have a correct waist to thigh to butt ratio! 10/10, I especially love my madwell athletic fit menā€™s black jeans. Truly a revelation in my life.

  17. A little tangential, but if you need to *get rid of clothes* that are not in good enough shape to donate/give away/resell, and you donā€™t want to toss them in the trashā€¦

    I just tried the ā€œtake back bagā€ from ForDays, a recycled clothing company. You pay $20 and they mail you a big plastic bag that you fill with any clothes, fabric, or even socks that you donā€™t want. You mail it back to them (free, the shipping label is included) and then they work with various textile recycling partners to reuse the fabric.

    You get the $20 refunded to you as ClosetCash that you can spend on the ForDays website. I did it three times over the last few months and was able to spend the ClosetCash on some new tank tops. Overall, Iā€™m very satisfied with the experience! I will say tho their site doesnā€™t have a ton of plus sizesā€” the shirts I got are a little snug and Iā€™ll probably end up tucking them into a high waisted skirt or something. But still, I love the idea of being able to do something with my clothes/fabric, etc that isnā€™t in good enough condition for donation.

    https://fordays.com/products/take-back-bag

    • Love this recycling comment! Here’s a reduse and reuse solution: I cut mine into rags so I don’t have to buy paper towels. If the mess was gross enough, I throw it away. If not, I wash the rag with my towels or rugs and use again.

  18. I’m always on the lookout for good menswear style plus size tops/shirts that are suitable in the business casual setting. I look for that androgenous not-really butch but not femme office look to wear with cardigans and blazers. Any suggestions for great stores?

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