Hey, did you know the Rolling Stones are still a band who make records and release singles and make music videos? They sure are, and they’ll probably stay that way for another 50 years. They just put out a new record of blues covers called Blue & Lonesome, which comes out today (!) and to celebrate, they’ve also put out the video for their first single, a cover of Eddie Taylor’s “Ride ‘Em On Down.” It stars rebel without a cause and perennial Vapid Fluff fave Kristen Stewart, the sulky antiheroine of our dreams.
If you’ve ever dreamed of watching Kristen Stewart drive irresponsibly around Los Angeles, tossing caution and seatbelt laws to the wind, dancing suggestively at a gas station and licking a lollipop until her tongue is blue, you are about to see those dreams realized. If you’ve ever wanted to watch Kristen Stewart fishtail through what remains of the Los Angeles River and reflect sadly upon the California drought, you’re about to feel very satisfied (and also very concerned about the drought). Would you like to watch Kristen Stewart use some kind of surly Jedi mind tricks to deflect the attention of a muscular, bearded guy who pulls her over in a cop car for some reason? Boy, are you in for a good time. Also, there’s a zebra. You’re just going to have to trust me.