It’s taken years for us to come to terms with the word ‘disability’ for our conditions. We both bore the ableist perception that disabled was a label to avoid. Luckily, our views have changed and knowing our physical and mental limitations has opened us to more kindness. Especially kindness from each other as our relationship enters another year.
What we can’t seem to agree on is how to speak to our own bodies about it.
Summer Tao has written 69 articles for us.
While I fall somewhere between these poles—or maybe move back and forth between them based on the atmospheric, emotional, and bodily weather—I loooooove the representation for disability negativity Lucy is giving here! Not all acceptance looks peaceful all the time, and sometimes some good snark, anger, and spite towards my own disabled body is exactly what is needed. (Also sometimes sobbing.) Thank you both <3
Hell yeah, Prof. Queerno.
I’m personally pretty opposed to the older school of disability porn/inspiration rhetoric that used to go around. Partly because it infantilizes disabled people while placing a burden of boundless positivity and pride on us. When actually, impairments and disability are very complex interactions that rarely lead anywhere good. And the burden of caring for impaired people lies with everyone in society, ourselves included.
We need frank, negative outlets as much as we should try and make every day a useful endeavor.
I love articles like these with such a strong sense of author voice, and the contrasts here are great too. Thanks for sharing, and I wish us all a good “keep at it!”
Thanks v. much Triangle Cat <3
GF and I love being silly as much as you enjoy reading us.
I’m so glad of pieces like this. One of the biggest misconceptions is the idea that we can do “all the right things” medically and always get our desired outcome, but sometimes – often – that’s not our story, and it can be hard enough to come to terms with our own feelings about that without having to deal with other people’s. We’re living reminders of the inconvenient truth that the body isn’t a vending machine where predefined inputs will result in getting exactly what you want all of the time, and that’s too real for some people. I also really appreciate the acknowledgment of medical trauma here – sometimes the procedure goes right but it’s still hard living with the memories.
While I fall somewhere between these poles—or maybe move back and forth between them based on the atmospheric, emotional, and bodily weather—I loooooove the representation for disability negativity Lucy is giving here! Not all acceptance looks peaceful all the time, and sometimes some good snark, anger, and spite towards my own disabled body is exactly what is needed. (Also sometimes sobbing.) Thank you both <3
Hell yeah, Prof. Queerno.
I’m personally pretty opposed to the older school of disability porn/inspiration rhetoric that used to go around. Partly because it infantilizes disabled people while placing a burden of boundless positivity and pride on us. When actually, impairments and disability are very complex interactions that rarely lead anywhere good. And the burden of caring for impaired people lies with everyone in society, ourselves included.
We need frank, negative outlets as much as we should try and make every day a useful endeavor.
I love articles like these with such a strong sense of author voice, and the contrasts here are great too. Thanks for sharing, and I wish us all a good “keep at it!”
Thanks v. much Triangle Cat <3
GF and I love being silly as much as you enjoy reading us.
I’m so glad of pieces like this. One of the biggest misconceptions is the idea that we can do “all the right things” medically and always get our desired outcome, but sometimes – often – that’s not our story, and it can be hard enough to come to terms with our own feelings about that without having to deal with other people’s. We’re living reminders of the inconvenient truth that the body isn’t a vending machine where predefined inputs will result in getting exactly what you want all of the time, and that’s too real for some people. I also really appreciate the acknowledgment of medical trauma here – sometimes the procedure goes right but it’s still hard living with the memories.
