Here’s What the Gillian Anderson Character You’re Most Attracted to Says About You

Obviously we all lost our shit over Gillian Anderson’s turn in Sex Education, but she has so many timelessly hot roles to choose from. Here’s what your deepest Gillian Anderson fantasy says about who you are as a person.

Dana Scully, The X-Files

The most intense turn-on you can imagine is the woman you’re with correcting a man in front of you in great detail and with supporting evidence. You hate being wrong but you love arguing. You like listening to someone else chatter mindlessly about their hyperspecific interest you don’t share while you’re mindlessly playing on your phone or falling asleep in the passenger seat on a road trip. You’re not over the 90s, and refuse to admit that you read your horoscope and your crush’s.

Stella Gibson, The Fall

Other people are using it as a turn of phrase when they say they want the object of their desire to “run me over with a car” or “crush my head in a vise;” you are completely serious. You like your women to be smarter and more competent than you and, again this cannot be overemphasized, potentially open to fully murdering you. You probably still have a crush on a previous boss or other authority figure who you never fully managed to impress but you’re pretty sure you got really close to it once.

Jean Milburn, Sex Education

You have a thing for mommis and also actual mommy issues — either your mom was uninvolved and distant and so Jean’s brand of smothering feels nurturing, OR your mom was also smothering but not as lovingly and so Jean feels intoxicatingly familiar. You insist on full-fat milk and yogurt and probably actually own placemats. Also you appreciate a good robe, duh.

Blanche DuBois, A Streetcar Named Desire

You have unsettlingly good internet sleuthing skills, probably honed over years of searching for fanfiction featuring extremely specific elements. You were either a theater kid or the kid who got in trouble for reading under their desk during class and was not extroverted enough to hang out with even the theater kids. You really rise to the occasion when your drunk friends need a team captain to get everyone out of the bar and into the Lyft to get home.

Media, American Gods

You listened to the Dresden Dolls in high school and have strongly considered attending a ComicCon. You own several pair of Docs and went through a houndstooth phase but that’s all over now. You are very ready with gifs immediately on hand in the group chat, always.

Dr. Bedelia du Maurier, Hannibal

You’re into kink, or more specifically you’re very into testing people’s limits. You grew up financially comfortable and although you don’t consider yourself a snob, you refuse to drink well liquor. You’re a cat person. You own multiple pairs of glasses, for fashion. You’re passive aggressive in text messages with your parents.

Moro, Princess Mononoke

Your deodorant doesn’t have aluminum in it. You have an ex in a folk-punk band; you guys still talk sometimes. You’re happy to get kicked out of a bar for picking a fight with the guy who made fun of your friend’s karaoke performance. You care about your dog more than any of your friends or partners and feel totally fine about that.

The singular X-Files-themed photoshoot she did with David LaChapelle for Rolling Stone in 1997

You have truly immaculate taste, and have never had a wrong thought or belief ever in your life. You belong in some sort of leadership position, providing guidance and strength to your community. Thank you so much for everything, you’re so wise.

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Rachel

Originally from Boston, MA, Rachel now lives in the Midwest. Topics dear to her heart include bisexuality, The X-Files and tacos. Her favorite Ciara video is probably "Ride," but if you're only going to watch one, she recommends "Like A Boy." You can follow her on twitter and instagram.

Rachel has written 1141 articles for us.

56 Comments

  2. what about that low-back dress with the thong showing that is peak 90s but i do not give one single fuck, she is so hot

  5. “You probably still have a crush on a previous boss or other authority figure who you never fully managed to impress but you’re pretty sure you got really close to it once.”

    STOP READING MY MIND

  6. Well, that’s astrology, enneagrams, MBTI and Cosmo quizzes instantly supplanted.

    I’ll just wait patiently here for someone to make a Coscully app.

    • Also hogwarts houses. I’m no longer a hufflepuff I’m a “is attracted to Stella and Bedelia” person.

  9. Rachel … the way you broke down my attraction to Gillian in The Fall IS A READ AND I AM ON THE FLOOR

  11. I hate that I know you wrote the sex education one thinking of me and my milk preferences/placemats ownership

  20. I went into this thinking ‘Scully but like, Media is so good though???’ and then you dissected me on a molecular level and now I’m just… floatin’.

  21. I aspire for mine to be Dana Scully but Stella Gibson was basically what i had in my a-camp description last year so…

  22. I would have said that the basis of my relationship was mutual respect, interests, and attraction, but then my partner sent me a screen cap of the Dana Scully description and I realized that that is, in fact, fully the basis of our relationship. And we’re engaged.

  23. “You like your women to be smarter and more competent than you and, again this cannot be overemphasized, potentially open to fully murdering you.”

    Oh my fucking god

  24. If I want to have a threesome with Stella Gibson and Dr. Bedelia du Maurier, it probably means I have a death wish, right?

  26. Wow I went in thinking The Fall but then I read your description of Scully and I’ve never watched the X files but then you described my sexuality EXACTLY:

    “The most intense turn-on you can imagine is the woman you’re with correcting a man in front of you in great detail and with supporting evidence.”

    And now I have to rethink my entire life. And also binge watch this show while fast-forwarding through all of the non-Gillian Anderson parts.

  27. I didn’t think I was susceptible to the whole Mommi thing until I watched Sex Education.

    um…. please send help

  29. I said, out loud, “shut the fuck up,” to several of these.

    Am not picky about Gillian Anderson and I guess that says a lot about me.

  30. I kid you not, just came here after checking what my beautiful blonde ex-boss was writing on FB and then immediately picked Stella Gibson…
    DAMN you’re good at this!

  32. The agent (still confused about what side she’s on?) in The Spy Who Dumped Me: would this mean one is Kate McKinnon?

    • Came here to say that Gillian-flirting-with-Kate-McKinnon-onscreen-or-off is the personal fave of my non-monog self

  34. Well, I would’ve said Scully all the way. But then the description of Blanche is like … did we go to school together? This is … disturbing, on several levels.

  35. Literally spent QUITE A BIT OF MONEY five minutes ago on tickets to see her in All About Eve so this is speaking to me. (Also, any of these Gillian Andersons can run me over with their cars, and so yes this was 100% accurate)

  37. This is so peak Rachel. How many x-files specific articles have you written? Is there enough for a round up yet?

  38. “The most intense turn-on you can imagine is the woman you’re with correcting a man in front of you in great detail and with supporting evidence.” It me.

  39. HATE that my personals already posted because a transcription of this Dana Scully description woulda been FAR more accurate than whatever sprung from my own mind.

  41. Well fuck me gently with a chainsaw, she was just cast as Margaret Thatcher in The Crown

    This is gonna be A Difficult Time.

  42. Well sh*t. I would feel less called out if literally the last post I read wasn’t my crush’s and my horoscopes.

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