Becky tries to go through with her performance of “So Far Away” with Quinn and Tina, and heavens to mergatroid, Dianna Agron’s voice just gets you in the gut, doesn’t it? And the place right below your guts. Why is everything about her so hair-yankingly tantalizing? I don’t understand. It should be illegal. If I were a closeted gay youth watching this show, thinking I was straight, every time she came on screen and opened her mouth I would hurl myself out a window. I would writhe around on the floor and cry and vomit. At least as a certified adult lesbian, I understand what’s going on inside me. Um, what. What am I talking about. Oh, right. Becky rushes out in the middle of the song and the girls chase her out to tell her some tough truths, mainly that she’s kind of an asshole.
Is this some kind of long con you’ve been running to get close to Quinn’s boobs?
YES.
And also, everyone lies to everyone at the beginning of relationships. It’s all just a farcical pantomime of pretending to get to know someone while concealing as much of yourself as possible. Quinn gets it because she lied to Finn about him being the father of her child. Tina told Artie she stuttered. Santana told everyone she was straight. But love is what comes after, when your girlfriend installs baby bumpers on the corners of your new fancy platform bed because you keep smashing your shins against the edges, and she still wants to have sex with you in that bed, even though you’re a person who needs something literally called Lionheart Whoopsie Guards to keep you from breaking your legs. Or, like, a less specific example from someone else’s life.
Love is when you both have a cold but you want the other person to stay in bed and you’ll make the tea. Love is when you give her the last cookie. Love is when you hang up her towel even though you’ve told her a thousand times to hang it up herself. Love is when you record her thing instead of yours, even though she’s the one who won’t delete stuff off the DVR. Love is when you go to bed angry and annoyed but wake up reaching for her the next morning anyway. Love is the pauses and the breaths and the spaces between all the things you say. It’s when you laugh when she laughs, even if you didn’t hear the joke. It’s when you accept her apology, even though your feelings are still hurt. Love is what happens after you lose the game of hide-and-seek and she sticks around anyway.
Santana says love is about finding someone who will put up with your crap. The camera asks Brittany’s face if it’s true and her face says it is, but also that love is when you’d rather put up with that person’s crap than live 100 crap-free years without them.
Becky’s like, “You’re all still some self-absorbed wankers, but thanks.”
And I’m terrified they’re going to Glee it!
Sue visits Coach Bieste to ask about the pills and the mood swings and the million personal days; she figures Beiste has cancer, and Beiste confirms it. So, in a meeting with Sam, Sue explains that he’ll be taking over the football team, but Beiste breaks down and explains that actually he has gender dysphoria, and he’s going to begin transitioning next week.
I’m very conflicted about them adding this storyline to the final season.Dot Marie Jones and Jane Lynch are both remarkable, let me say that. And god knows we need way more and way better trans representation on TV. But the reason I gave up on this show the first time was that awful storyline where Beiste just wanted to be kissed by a boy and Will was the fucking grossest thing. And then I quit again when Besite got into that abusive relationship. Being a woman with a more masculine appearance has been the hinge of Beiste’s entire characterization. And there are so few masculine women on television! Also, I am really not over how awful Glee was to Unique, and I feel her absence from this season as keenly as if one of the OG New Directioners weren’t here. I’m a white cis lesbian from rural Goergia, so my viewpoint is limited. Sigh. I hope they don’t fuck it up.
Us too, Beiste. Us too.
Finally, at Bredstix, Becky comes clean to Darrell about how she has Down Syndrome (which makes him smile) and also that she’s not Angela Merkel’s top adviser. He says they’re going to have a lot of pressure from the outside world, so they have to have each other’s backs inside their relationship. (This episode has a lot of weirdly excellent relationship advice.) Becky agrees — and then she slaps a strawberry milkshake onto the floor because it’s disgusting.
This milkshake smells like a xylophone!
New New New Directions sing “You Live, You Learn”/”You’ve Got a Friend.” Which is all any of us really want, in the end. Someone to live with and learn from and be our best friend. Well, and to triumph over the patriarchy and the entrenched misogyny of broadcast network television and achieve quality representation for queer characters that resonate with the queer experiences inside our souls.
You lived, you learned, Lesbian Blogger Community. You know, that and you started a revolution.
Rumor has it, we won.
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Yes, misogony, homophobia, and effemiphobia are glorious, as long as they’re delivered by a lesbian…except that they’re words written by a straight white man for a lesbian to deliver and tear down another queer character. I don’t find that level of nastiness cathartic, myself, especially when it’s that offensive and cruel. Stuff doesn’t get to go unchecked just because it’s said by someone you like.
Can’t edit my comment, so I can’t fix the spelling error.
Totally and completely agree.
I’ve been waiting for this recap. I love what you said about the Brittana fandom, you did an amazing job.
And the part about Dianna Agron- I’m a certified adult and I still want to throw myself out a window every time I hear her talk, or sing, or see her smile, or frown, or….
I wish I liked Brittana but I don’t. i used to hardcore ship them in series 1 and most of series 2. I cried when I heard Santana was going to be a lesbian and in love with bisexual Brittany. It was my dream come true. Also that Glee was not going to continue that disgusting stereotype of straight girls using lesbianism to manipulate boys like her and Brittany did with Finn.
But then Brittany started talking and she’s such a vile character, even more than self-certified Bitch Santana is sometimes. i really started falling back in love with Santana in series 4 and I had MASSIVE hopes and dreams for her relationship with Dani (no seriously what the hell happened between Demi and Fox? They pushed that relationship so hard before series 5 and then suddenly…nothing)
And their relationship was just so poorly written or not written at all (series 3 anyone?). I really wish the lesbian community lost this obsession with Brittany and campaigned for a healthier representation. She can’t even say she’s busexual and Santana has never confronted her alarming biphobia!!! But whatever this is what we got stuck with. Santana, with her biphobia and manipulation and Brittany with just…urgh everything else. She used to be funny in series 1 and 2. Even if the blonde stereotype is annoying. But her being called a genius is even worse *shudders*
Also that proposal was probably the worse proposal on Glee. “This place is as best as anything” “sure why not”. Even Finchel’s prosposal was better and that’s saying a lot. Santana’s rant at Kurt was longer and more passionate than her proposal was.
At the same time, Ill concede a lesbian engagement (and indeed wedding) even if it is a ship I loathe could only be a good thing.
And I know it will have made Brittana fans happy, which I don’t begrudge. Happy Brittana fans are happy, but I will always personally view Brittana as something that should’ve been great fall flat by bad writing (bad acting too tbf), bad chemistry and awful awful awful characterisation.
“The only people I want to know in my life are the ones who will stay up all night, nearly coming out of their own skins, because they’re so excited to be told a story they love.”
This. (and everything you wrote about love, tbh)
I liked three episode in a row, what is happening?!
I actually quite enjoyed this episode. I was expecting to only like the part where Britt and San get engaged but I liked quite a bit of it – Becky’s whole storyline, the music, the fact that Kurt and Rachel are actually putting in effort to be teachers. Glee has actually improved this season from the last IMO, at least in terms of how they handle difficult topics, so I’m tentatively optimistic about Coach Beiste. He’s one of the characters I so desperately want to be happy, and even though this wasn’t where I hoped they would go with his story (masculine women are definitely needed on TV), as long as they do it right, I’ll be content.
This made my heart hurt so much. Please excuse me while I go binge watch youtube clips of Brittana.
“If I were a closeted gay youth watching this show, thinking I was straight, every time she came on screen and opened her mouth I would hurl myself out a window. I would writhe around on the floor and cry and vomit.”
I thought I was straight when the show started. I remember thinking that Quinn was so pretty, and I would rewatch the scene in season 1 when her and Puck had a food fight because I loved her smile (I rewatched many scenes she was in for similar reasons, for example her scenes in Theatricality where she was wearing her Gaga costume *swoon*). I didn’t cry or vomit but I think that was because I was completely and utterly oblivious that my feelings could mean something other than what I assumed.
Also, one of the reasons I could never give up on Glee is Brittana. I love them so much, and Glee has really screwed them over many times, but I have such a big emotional attachment to them. I remember watching the episode in season 3 when Santana was outed (I found out I was gay just before season 3 started), and I had to hide my face from my parents because I was crying and I didn’t want them to suspect why it was affecting me so much.
Your last sentence – yes. My sister semi-threatened to out me right before this storyline and I was already in a bad place mentally so it really messed with me!
I hope life has treated you better than Glee has treated Brittana <3
You are completely right in your analysis about the fans calling them out on not letting queer women have a seat at the table. However, sitting there didn’t result in more than slightly bigger crumbs that someone kept steeling from our plate.
Although many have rightfully abandoned the series and the characters, it’s still a win. Mainly because they managed to destroy everything else with terrible writing so what hadn’t been shown or written yet, could still be saved and finally enjoyed at the very end. I can’t really believe it happened, or that I still care, but I’m oddly happy about it.
I totally cried when santana proposed (even thought it was in the previews last week) and now you made me cry again reading this. There’s so, so, so much that I hate about this show (but also a lot that I love) and even so much that I hate about how the show treated brittany and santana, but as soon as I heard that the two of them would be back this season I knew I was going to be watching it. And Heather, you wrote about this so wonderfully and amazingly and I love it so much.
This was the first show I ever watched regularly that had a lesbian latina character (i only watched the L Word [where they were played by non-latinas] and Grey’s Anatomy [where there’s a bisexual latina] later) and it meant so much to me to see her story.
Also, total amen to what you said about every time Dianna Agron is on screen.
Glee was the first show I watched after I started to realize I might not be straight. Santana and Quinn confirmed my suspicions.
That person on tumblr clearly has not been paying attention. Santana says in her proposal that she talks a lot when it’s negative and less when it’s positive. (Which I thought was strange because her proposal was pretty long. It’s just that her diatribe against Kurt was longer.)
I haven’t been invested in Brittana as a couple since probably season 2 (I prefer other partners for Santana, thank you fanfiction) but I agree that they were completely adorable in this episode. I also actually liked how they handled both Bieste’s and Becky’s storylines. The only thing I could do with a whole lot less of is Kurt pining over Blaine, like please let that be over now.
Also, word to everything you said about Dianna Agron. She is an angel unicorn princess who has clearly put us all under her spell.
Quinn just terrifies me with that hair. I don’t find it attractive. It’s got hard edges and an unnatural color.
I honestly, honestly don’t get, and never have gotten the hype around Brittana. To me Santana and Brittany might have never been planned, per se, but I don’t think that the fandom magicked them into existence either because they were holding pinkies, and Santana was sticking up for her before Brittany made the ‘sex isn’t dating’ comment. In the beginning, Heather Morrison was never a good enough actress to sell Brittany. Her throw away lines were fantastic but when it actually came to real depth, it was never there. Prior to the last season, she’s never sold a scene with her and Santana convincingly as far as I could see. And as for Santana, over the years, TPTB have done absolutely everything to make Santana as hateful a character as possible. Her coming out episode she bashes Finn horribly, she and Rachel get along and people like her, she takes it too far, she has this sweet moment with Brittany, and then she goes into this minute long tirade on Kurt. I love Santana (in fanfiction, where she grows, and develops and has depth). But I don’t like her on Glee. I don’t think that she’s a representative of ‘all lesbians’. And I think having her considered a representative of ‘us’ is completely damaging. It seems like, to me, the writers have gone out of their way to make her an unlikable character, but because she’s all we’ve got, we’ve accepted everything she’s done, over and over again. I would rather have a good, well written and involved lesbian character and only get to see her a handful of times, then to have a character that is despicable and see her every week. That doesn’t help our struggle at all. Santana is a bad person, with few redeemable qualities, (except in fanfiction, where she’s awesome), and that she was paired up with a woman who was originally projected as so barely aware that she hardly knew her name, just seems like a slap in the face to the lesbian and bi fandom. I want real representation, not bread crumbs. If they could do that for the gay audience, they could do the same for the lesbian and bi one. It’s like with Rizzoli & Isles or with Faking it. It’s not enough for them to just be on screen, we deserve more than bread crumbs, and I’ve never been able to figure out why we’ve not asked for it.
I remember listening to the Jagged Little Pill cassette over and over on my walkman like it was yesterday. One of the most brilliant albums ever written and performed.
It came out twenty-years ago this coming June. I am so very old…
I really like Carol King and didn’t realise she had so many great hits, but I don’t think either of those brilliant singers needed to be crammed into a clumsy mash-up.
Oh, and something happened between Santana and Brittany in this episode? Right…
Brittany and Santana are getting married!!! The only thing I care about more is my long con to get close to Quinn’s boobs haha :P
First off who thought it was a good idea to mash up Carole king and Alanis….
Am I the only one who thinks Brittany and Santana seems so forced this season. I am getting a weird vibe from Naya Rivera this season like she is so over this show. There’s not the same punch or passion with her character. Her scenes with Brittany just didn’t seem genuine not like in the past seasons. I feel this way about Heather Morris too. It’s almost like they have grown up and the dialog does not reflect that.
Even her rant at Kurt just seemed like she was reciting lines.
And I have issues with coach bieste…. It came out of left field and completely negated her character arch. They were a proud butch straight woman who then was turned into the stereotype that seems to be happening lately that butch or masculine of center women are just transmem. While there needs to be more gender variant people on tv to do it at the expense of supporting a stereotype helps no one.
Yes, I disliked this development for this same reason –> “They were a proud butch straight woman who then was turned into the stereotype that seems to be happening lately that butch or masculine of center women are just trans men.”
um…these chicks are how many MONTHS out of highschool? I mean, I don’t watch this show, so I literally don’t know. What I do know is getting married during or straight outta high school (to Brittany?!!) is the height of retarded, especially if the show is set in a state that it would actually be legal. It’s good TV though. And I guess if it’s good enough for the bible-belt it’s good enough for…glee? On the other hand getting “married” straight outta highschool IS actually a raaather baby dyke thing to do though isn’t it.
a) The inclusion of an ableist slur is really uncalled for, and offensive.
b) I think the Glee chronology has Santana and Brittany graduated from high school for about 2 (if not 3) years, so at least they’re 20+.
The Lord, you’ve made me want to watch a episode of Glee. A confundus charm was it?
I just have to say that I am SO, SO GRATEFUL for this online Glee recap, because I watched this episode from Channel “Star World” in Southeast Asia and THEY CUT JUST ABOUT EVERY QUEER REFERENCE.
Like, literally – When Santana and Brittany were sitting on the bed, there was this moment where Brittany moved toward Santana and then – FLASH – we’re onto the next scene. The proposal? Thank you for transcribing it word-for-word because THEY EDITED OUT THE WORDS “ONE TRUE LOVE,” how f’d up is that? So I was going, “huh? She’s what?” and “Will you marry me?” became “Will you…?” – no shot of the ring – just Brittany with her hands over her face and the other guy asking what’s going on and me thinking, “Did I just miss something, here? I think I missed something huge…” Um, yes.
Star World, you piece of shit channel.
Bieste’s coming out pissed me off. As a transperson, I’m tired of cis writers and actors just getting it wrong, trying to oversimplify trans experience to make cis folk understand.
Gender identity is far more than “who you want to go to bed as”. It isn’t sexual, it’s personal, it’s social, it’s an all-encompassing facet of identity. Sex is such a small part of what makes up a person. Gay people struggled for a long time to be seem as more than just their sexuality, now they throw the same crap out there for trans people. Leave it to Ryan Murphy to get it wrong again, just like he did in Nip/Tuck and with Unique. What a wasted opportunity.
While everyone is busy patting themselves on the back for being inclusive, they forgot to consult with actual transgender people. Again.
I am beyond angry about Coach Bieste.
Some people are trying to excuse their desire to be seen as a woman as just being deeply closeted, but the writers have completely erased one of their only good characters.
As a trans guy, I myself went through a phase during which I tried to be as femme as possible. Being feminine was not important to Coach; they wanted to be accepted as a woman while still presenting in the way they liked. I do not see Coach Bieste as a trans man.
This portrayal is also a bit toxic to the trans community, because it’s saying that all trans men were masculine when they were living as female and that all trans women presented femininely when they lived as men. This is not even sort of a thing. I’m nearly indistiguishable from my pre-coming out self, and I wouldn’t have it any other way. I love looking feminine, but I’m still a guy. I have several trans lady friends that present themselves in a butch fashion, and are proud of their strong features.
It’s too early in the morning and I’m too sick to be this worked up.
Dianna Agron, doe
I went crazy literally everytime Quinn had a scene. I mean I wasn’t very crazy about her before bc Britanna but hot damn, I need her to be in my life forever and ever. Petition to have Dianna Agron her own show where she’ll sing and shimmy and be perfect and complete my life, please. Also, (I tweeted about this too) will somebody turn Quinn’s (sorta evil) laugh into a ringtone (when Sam told the club about her having sex with a Latina lesbian) bc I’m srsly up for that haha I gotta say, I gave up on Glee around S4 and didn’t see the entire S5 but so far I’ve liked S6 episodes. And I agree on your thoughts RE Coach Beiste – “They were a proud butch straight woman who then was turned into the stereotype that seems to be happening lately that butch or masculine of center women are just trans men.” THIS!
I mean it’s sad (RE Coach Bieste) – I really liked her being a butch presenting woman and then BAM! Womp womp womp!
Whoa, am I on the right website? I swear I PM’d HH on another lady-site about the wonders of faberry back in the day. Happy that these recaps (on any site) still have A familiar voice behind them even though I haven’t kept up with the show in ages.
1. I love when you write about your girlfriend.
2. I’m glad they gave Becky a storyline, but I hate how they write her. It’s like she’s a puppet or a cartoon character. We’re supposed to think it’s hilarious that she curses and knocks things over, but why? Are they trying to show that people with DS can curse and be emotional like “normal” people? Because to me it feels like we’re meant to laugh AT her, not with her, and it rubs me the wrong way.