I remember my dad making fun of me for being an adult who stood in line for hours at bookstores to get my hands on whichever new Harry Potter book was coming out at midnight, every time there was a new book, and I was always like, “The only people I want to know in my life are the ones who will stay up all night, nearly coming out of their own skins, because they’re so excited to be told a story they love.” Which is how I felt watching Twitter on Friday, gearing up for this episode of Glee.
One way to celebrate having awesome sex is to have more awesome sex.
I can’t claim the win; I checked out on Glee emotionally a long time ago. But goddamn, it was beautiful watching you your victory! That’s what I couldn’t explain to my girlfriend. “The thing” about Brittany and Santana is about falling in love with your best friend, which is a tale that never gets tired, but it’s also about a generation of queer women seizing their power and leading the way into a brave new world.
Becky comes clean to Sue about how she’s been lying to Darrell about her accomplishments of like discovering Atlantis and eradicating Ebola and beating Rainbow Road on Mario Kart Wii without ever even falling off the track even one time. Sue says all relationships are built on lies, even if the person you’re marrying is yourself. Sue seems genuinely excited to meet Becky’s beau, until she actually meets Becky’s beau, and then she seems like she wants to set his nards on fire. He doesn’t have Down Syndrome, which makes Sue think he’s exploiting Becky somehow, and so when he doesn’t die from the lethal laser beams she is shooting at him from her eyeballs, she decides to try a different tactic. But first Becky and Darrell have plans for Fuddruckers.
Does your face always look like you’re going to behead someone?
Yes.
At glee club practice, Brittany and Santana mash-up “Hand in My Pocket”/”I Feel the Earth Move,” with a little harmony from Quinn now and again. The whole time, Santana is trying to get Brittany to just sit down so she can propose marriage to her, but if Santana is a kitten, Brittany is a golden retriever puppy and SHE JUST WANTS TO PLAY. Or either this is how they always are, like, “I’m going down first.” “No, let me.” “No, really, let me.” In which case they are gonna be juuuust fine. They sing, they shimmy, Brittany is dressed like breakfast. It’s awesome.
I love you like a pig loves not being bacon.
At the end of it, Santana asks her to please sit down, and then:
“I figured that this is as good a place as any to ask you this question. Mainly because it’s gonna really upset all the single guys and gals in here, but I wanna mash-up with you forever, Britt. I mean, some people love someone because they make them a better person and that’s not why I love you because you’ve always just wanted me to be myself. You’re my favorite person in the whole world. And we’re a big deal, you know, like no matter how many times we’ve tried to put our thing down and walk away from it we can’t because, I don’t wanna live my life without my one true love. And I normally say a lot of words when I’m saying something negative so since this is the most positive thing I’m ever gonna do, I’m gonna keep it simple. Brittany S. Pierce, will you marry me?”
Anyone who thinks that proposal wasn’t the best damn thing can suck an onion-flavored popsicle, and I mean it. Some asshole dropped a Tumblr ask in my box over the weekend talking about, “Santana used more words to tear down Kurt than she did to propose to Brittany and that says everything you need to know about how awful Brittana is.” And I’m like, “Uh, no. It tells you everything you need to know about how awesome Brittana is.” My girlfriend and I have been together four years and she can tell me three million words by touching my face and looking at me in my eyeballs for five seconds. I feel closer to her just lying in bed reading books for six hours, never saying anything, than I would if she was monologuing in my face all day. She can look at me across a room at a party in a bar with six hundred people, and I can tell you what’s going on in her head, and she never has to say a single thing. That thing Brittany and Santana have goes beyond words! They felt realer than ninety percent of the stuff on this show even when they were only holding pinkies and swaying together in the background!
I love you, I love you, I love you, like never before.
Songbirds for life, bae.
Brittany says yes, obviously, because destiny is as destiny does.
One of the new guys is like, “What in the worrrllld?” And Puck is like, “Just a Tuesday, buddy.” The only person who isn’t moved to tears is Kurt, who — and we’ll forgive him for this because it’s the nature of humanity — can’t understand that his particular life situation isn’t the same as everyone else’s particular life situation, so he tries shut the whole thing down. But Tina goes, “When you find yourself trolling someone’s happiness in a way that even I would not contemplate, you need to check yourself.”
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Yes, misogony, homophobia, and effemiphobia are glorious, as long as they’re delivered by a lesbian…except that they’re words written by a straight white man for a lesbian to deliver and tear down another queer character. I don’t find that level of nastiness cathartic, myself, especially when it’s that offensive and cruel. Stuff doesn’t get to go unchecked just because it’s said by someone you like.
Can’t edit my comment, so I can’t fix the spelling error.
Totally and completely agree.
I’ve been waiting for this recap. I love what you said about the Brittana fandom, you did an amazing job.
And the part about Dianna Agron- I’m a certified adult and I still want to throw myself out a window every time I hear her talk, or sing, or see her smile, or frown, or….
I wish I liked Brittana but I don’t. i used to hardcore ship them in series 1 and most of series 2. I cried when I heard Santana was going to be a lesbian and in love with bisexual Brittany. It was my dream come true. Also that Glee was not going to continue that disgusting stereotype of straight girls using lesbianism to manipulate boys like her and Brittany did with Finn.
But then Brittany started talking and she’s such a vile character, even more than self-certified Bitch Santana is sometimes. i really started falling back in love with Santana in series 4 and I had MASSIVE hopes and dreams for her relationship with Dani (no seriously what the hell happened between Demi and Fox? They pushed that relationship so hard before series 5 and then suddenly…nothing)
And their relationship was just so poorly written or not written at all (series 3 anyone?). I really wish the lesbian community lost this obsession with Brittany and campaigned for a healthier representation. She can’t even say she’s busexual and Santana has never confronted her alarming biphobia!!! But whatever this is what we got stuck with. Santana, with her biphobia and manipulation and Brittany with just…urgh everything else. She used to be funny in series 1 and 2. Even if the blonde stereotype is annoying. But her being called a genius is even worse *shudders*
Also that proposal was probably the worse proposal on Glee. “This place is as best as anything” “sure why not”. Even Finchel’s prosposal was better and that’s saying a lot. Santana’s rant at Kurt was longer and more passionate than her proposal was.
At the same time, Ill concede a lesbian engagement (and indeed wedding) even if it is a ship I loathe could only be a good thing.
And I know it will have made Brittana fans happy, which I don’t begrudge. Happy Brittana fans are happy, but I will always personally view Brittana as something that should’ve been great fall flat by bad writing (bad acting too tbf), bad chemistry and awful awful awful characterisation.
“The only people I want to know in my life are the ones who will stay up all night, nearly coming out of their own skins, because they’re so excited to be told a story they love.”
This. (and everything you wrote about love, tbh)
I liked three episode in a row, what is happening?!
I actually quite enjoyed this episode. I was expecting to only like the part where Britt and San get engaged but I liked quite a bit of it – Becky’s whole storyline, the music, the fact that Kurt and Rachel are actually putting in effort to be teachers. Glee has actually improved this season from the last IMO, at least in terms of how they handle difficult topics, so I’m tentatively optimistic about Coach Beiste. He’s one of the characters I so desperately want to be happy, and even though this wasn’t where I hoped they would go with his story (masculine women are definitely needed on TV), as long as they do it right, I’ll be content.
This made my heart hurt so much. Please excuse me while I go binge watch youtube clips of Brittana.
“If I were a closeted gay youth watching this show, thinking I was straight, every time she came on screen and opened her mouth I would hurl myself out a window. I would writhe around on the floor and cry and vomit.”
I thought I was straight when the show started. I remember thinking that Quinn was so pretty, and I would rewatch the scene in season 1 when her and Puck had a food fight because I loved her smile (I rewatched many scenes she was in for similar reasons, for example her scenes in Theatricality where she was wearing her Gaga costume *swoon*). I didn’t cry or vomit but I think that was because I was completely and utterly oblivious that my feelings could mean something other than what I assumed.
Also, one of the reasons I could never give up on Glee is Brittana. I love them so much, and Glee has really screwed them over many times, but I have such a big emotional attachment to them. I remember watching the episode in season 3 when Santana was outed (I found out I was gay just before season 3 started), and I had to hide my face from my parents because I was crying and I didn’t want them to suspect why it was affecting me so much.
Your last sentence – yes. My sister semi-threatened to out me right before this storyline and I was already in a bad place mentally so it really messed with me!
I hope life has treated you better than Glee has treated Brittana <3
You are completely right in your analysis about the fans calling them out on not letting queer women have a seat at the table. However, sitting there didn’t result in more than slightly bigger crumbs that someone kept steeling from our plate.
Although many have rightfully abandoned the series and the characters, it’s still a win. Mainly because they managed to destroy everything else with terrible writing so what hadn’t been shown or written yet, could still be saved and finally enjoyed at the very end. I can’t really believe it happened, or that I still care, but I’m oddly happy about it.
I totally cried when santana proposed (even thought it was in the previews last week) and now you made me cry again reading this. There’s so, so, so much that I hate about this show (but also a lot that I love) and even so much that I hate about how the show treated brittany and santana, but as soon as I heard that the two of them would be back this season I knew I was going to be watching it. And Heather, you wrote about this so wonderfully and amazingly and I love it so much.
This was the first show I ever watched regularly that had a lesbian latina character (i only watched the L Word [where they were played by non-latinas] and Grey’s Anatomy [where there’s a bisexual latina] later) and it meant so much to me to see her story.
Also, total amen to what you said about every time Dianna Agron is on screen.
Glee was the first show I watched after I started to realize I might not be straight. Santana and Quinn confirmed my suspicions.
That person on tumblr clearly has not been paying attention. Santana says in her proposal that she talks a lot when it’s negative and less when it’s positive. (Which I thought was strange because her proposal was pretty long. It’s just that her diatribe against Kurt was longer.)
I haven’t been invested in Brittana as a couple since probably season 2 (I prefer other partners for Santana, thank you fanfiction) but I agree that they were completely adorable in this episode. I also actually liked how they handled both Bieste’s and Becky’s storylines. The only thing I could do with a whole lot less of is Kurt pining over Blaine, like please let that be over now.
Also, word to everything you said about Dianna Agron. She is an angel unicorn princess who has clearly put us all under her spell.
Quinn just terrifies me with that hair. I don’t find it attractive. It’s got hard edges and an unnatural color.
I honestly, honestly don’t get, and never have gotten the hype around Brittana. To me Santana and Brittany might have never been planned, per se, but I don’t think that the fandom magicked them into existence either because they were holding pinkies, and Santana was sticking up for her before Brittany made the ‘sex isn’t dating’ comment. In the beginning, Heather Morrison was never a good enough actress to sell Brittany. Her throw away lines were fantastic but when it actually came to real depth, it was never there. Prior to the last season, she’s never sold a scene with her and Santana convincingly as far as I could see. And as for Santana, over the years, TPTB have done absolutely everything to make Santana as hateful a character as possible. Her coming out episode she bashes Finn horribly, she and Rachel get along and people like her, she takes it too far, she has this sweet moment with Brittany, and then she goes into this minute long tirade on Kurt. I love Santana (in fanfiction, where she grows, and develops and has depth). But I don’t like her on Glee. I don’t think that she’s a representative of ‘all lesbians’. And I think having her considered a representative of ‘us’ is completely damaging. It seems like, to me, the writers have gone out of their way to make her an unlikable character, but because she’s all we’ve got, we’ve accepted everything she’s done, over and over again. I would rather have a good, well written and involved lesbian character and only get to see her a handful of times, then to have a character that is despicable and see her every week. That doesn’t help our struggle at all. Santana is a bad person, with few redeemable qualities, (except in fanfiction, where she’s awesome), and that she was paired up with a woman who was originally projected as so barely aware that she hardly knew her name, just seems like a slap in the face to the lesbian and bi fandom. I want real representation, not bread crumbs. If they could do that for the gay audience, they could do the same for the lesbian and bi one. It’s like with Rizzoli & Isles or with Faking it. It’s not enough for them to just be on screen, we deserve more than bread crumbs, and I’ve never been able to figure out why we’ve not asked for it.
I remember listening to the Jagged Little Pill cassette over and over on my walkman like it was yesterday. One of the most brilliant albums ever written and performed.
It came out twenty-years ago this coming June. I am so very old…
I really like Carol King and didn’t realise she had so many great hits, but I don’t think either of those brilliant singers needed to be crammed into a clumsy mash-up.
Oh, and something happened between Santana and Brittany in this episode? Right…
Brittany and Santana are getting married!!! The only thing I care about more is my long con to get close to Quinn’s boobs haha :P
First off who thought it was a good idea to mash up Carole king and Alanis….
Am I the only one who thinks Brittany and Santana seems so forced this season. I am getting a weird vibe from Naya Rivera this season like she is so over this show. There’s not the same punch or passion with her character. Her scenes with Brittany just didn’t seem genuine not like in the past seasons. I feel this way about Heather Morris too. It’s almost like they have grown up and the dialog does not reflect that.
Even her rant at Kurt just seemed like she was reciting lines.
And I have issues with coach bieste…. It came out of left field and completely negated her character arch. They were a proud butch straight woman who then was turned into the stereotype that seems to be happening lately that butch or masculine of center women are just transmem. While there needs to be more gender variant people on tv to do it at the expense of supporting a stereotype helps no one.
Yes, I disliked this development for this same reason –> “They were a proud butch straight woman who then was turned into the stereotype that seems to be happening lately that butch or masculine of center women are just trans men.”
um…these chicks are how many MONTHS out of highschool? I mean, I don’t watch this show, so I literally don’t know. What I do know is getting married during or straight outta high school (to Brittany?!!) is the height of retarded, especially if the show is set in a state that it would actually be legal. It’s good TV though. And I guess if it’s good enough for the bible-belt it’s good enough for…glee? On the other hand getting “married” straight outta highschool IS actually a raaather baby dyke thing to do though isn’t it.
a) The inclusion of an ableist slur is really uncalled for, and offensive.
b) I think the Glee chronology has Santana and Brittany graduated from high school for about 2 (if not 3) years, so at least they’re 20+.
The Lord, you’ve made me want to watch a episode of Glee. A confundus charm was it?
I just have to say that I am SO, SO GRATEFUL for this online Glee recap, because I watched this episode from Channel “Star World” in Southeast Asia and THEY CUT JUST ABOUT EVERY QUEER REFERENCE.
Like, literally – When Santana and Brittany were sitting on the bed, there was this moment where Brittany moved toward Santana and then – FLASH – we’re onto the next scene. The proposal? Thank you for transcribing it word-for-word because THEY EDITED OUT THE WORDS “ONE TRUE LOVE,” how f’d up is that? So I was going, “huh? She’s what?” and “Will you marry me?” became “Will you…?” – no shot of the ring – just Brittany with her hands over her face and the other guy asking what’s going on and me thinking, “Did I just miss something, here? I think I missed something huge…” Um, yes.
Star World, you piece of shit channel.
Bieste’s coming out pissed me off. As a transperson, I’m tired of cis writers and actors just getting it wrong, trying to oversimplify trans experience to make cis folk understand.
Gender identity is far more than “who you want to go to bed as”. It isn’t sexual, it’s personal, it’s social, it’s an all-encompassing facet of identity. Sex is such a small part of what makes up a person. Gay people struggled for a long time to be seem as more than just their sexuality, now they throw the same crap out there for trans people. Leave it to Ryan Murphy to get it wrong again, just like he did in Nip/Tuck and with Unique. What a wasted opportunity.
While everyone is busy patting themselves on the back for being inclusive, they forgot to consult with actual transgender people. Again.
I am beyond angry about Coach Bieste.
Some people are trying to excuse their desire to be seen as a woman as just being deeply closeted, but the writers have completely erased one of their only good characters.
As a trans guy, I myself went through a phase during which I tried to be as femme as possible. Being feminine was not important to Coach; they wanted to be accepted as a woman while still presenting in the way they liked. I do not see Coach Bieste as a trans man.
This portrayal is also a bit toxic to the trans community, because it’s saying that all trans men were masculine when they were living as female and that all trans women presented femininely when they lived as men. This is not even sort of a thing. I’m nearly indistiguishable from my pre-coming out self, and I wouldn’t have it any other way. I love looking feminine, but I’m still a guy. I have several trans lady friends that present themselves in a butch fashion, and are proud of their strong features.
It’s too early in the morning and I’m too sick to be this worked up.
Dianna Agron, doe
I went crazy literally everytime Quinn had a scene. I mean I wasn’t very crazy about her before bc Britanna but hot damn, I need her to be in my life forever and ever. Petition to have Dianna Agron her own show where she’ll sing and shimmy and be perfect and complete my life, please. Also, (I tweeted about this too) will somebody turn Quinn’s (sorta evil) laugh into a ringtone (when Sam told the club about her having sex with a Latina lesbian) bc I’m srsly up for that haha I gotta say, I gave up on Glee around S4 and didn’t see the entire S5 but so far I’ve liked S6 episodes. And I agree on your thoughts RE Coach Beiste – “They were a proud butch straight woman who then was turned into the stereotype that seems to be happening lately that butch or masculine of center women are just trans men.” THIS!
I mean it’s sad (RE Coach Bieste) – I really liked her being a butch presenting woman and then BAM! Womp womp womp!
Whoa, am I on the right website? I swear I PM’d HH on another lady-site about the wonders of faberry back in the day. Happy that these recaps (on any site) still have A familiar voice behind them even though I haven’t kept up with the show in ages.
1. I love when you write about your girlfriend.
2. I’m glad they gave Becky a storyline, but I hate how they write her. It’s like she’s a puppet or a cartoon character. We’re supposed to think it’s hilarious that she curses and knocks things over, but why? Are they trying to show that people with DS can curse and be emotional like “normal” people? Because to me it feels like we’re meant to laugh AT her, not with her, and it rubs me the wrong way.