Lesbians and granola go together like cat photos and the Internet! Here are three recipes that prove my point.

Honey Almond Granola

This granola isn’t vegan, and some of you are probably going to yell at me for that, but it is so unbelievably good that non-vegans capable of digesting dairy should run out and purchase some powdered milk and make it right now (the powdered milk looks sort of gross, and the idea of it is sort of gross, but in the granola, it tastes really good, so don’t be tempted to omit it).

Also whenever any granola recipe says raisins you can basically interpret that as “some sort of dried fruit, but probably not pineapple, because it has too strong a flavour.” Suggestions include: different varieties of raisins, chopped dried apricots, chopped prunes, chopped dates, dried cranberries, dried blueberries, basically any kind of dried berry really, or dried cherries. If you hate fruit and happiness, you can also not use anything.

Ingredients

4 cups rolled oats (not quick cooking and definitely not instant)
1 cup oat bran
2 cups whole almonds
1 cup dry milk powder
3/4 cup vegetable oil
3/4 cup honey
1 tbsp. vanilla extract
1/2 tsp. almond extract
pinch of salt
1 cup raisins
Cooking spray, margarine, or your non-stick coating of choice

Directions

1. Preheat the oven to 325°F with the racks in the upper and lower third. Grease your baking pans or sheets (sheets work, pans are easier because later you’ll be pushing things around).
2. Coarsely chop the almonds. In a large bowl, mix the oats, oat bran, and chopped almonds. In a smaller bowl, whisk together the dry milk powder, oil, honey, vanilla extract, almond extract, and salt. Pro tip: if you measure the oil before the honey, the honey won’t stick to the measuring cup or bowl.
4. Pour the contents of the smaller bowl, which is supposed to look like that, into the larger bowl and combine, preferably using your hands. When it’s thoroughly mixed, spread it into the two pans/baking sheets.
5. Bake at 325°F for 30-40 minutes. After 20 minutes, stir the granola and switch which pan goes on which shelf. Start watching everything very closely. Bake until golden brown, or for approximately another 10 minutes. When they come out of the oven, the oats should still feel a little soft (this goes away as they cool). Cool in the pan.
6. Add raisins or other dried fruit if desired.

Adapted from Fine Cooking.

Buckwheat and Apricot Granola

This granola is vegan, gluten-free, dairy-free, soy-free, nut-free, and all around tasty. It can be a little dry and is best with rice yogurt or whatever yogurt or yogurt-substitute floats your metaphorical boat, or with fruit.

Ingredients

1 cup buckwheat (roasted buckwheat)
2 tbsp ground flaxseed
1/3 cup sunflower seeds
1/3 cup pumpkin seeds
1/3 cup raisins
1/3 cup chopped dried apricots
1/3 cup agave nectar (maple syrup is also delicious)
1 tbsp. coconut or flax oil (I used canola/vegetable and it was fine)
2 tbsp. water
1 tsp cinnamon
Dash nutmeg
Dash salt

Directions

1. Preheat the oven to 350°F. Mix all the dry ingredients together in a large bowl.
2. Whisk together the maple syrup, water, coconut oil, cinnamon, nutmeg, and salt. Pour over dry ingredients and mix them well with your hands. This is a lot easier if you are not simultaneously trying to photograph your process. For a sweeter granola, you can add another tbsp or more, to taste, of agave (don’t add less, though — the agave is what keeps it together).
3. Bake at 350°F for 17 minutes, stirring every five minutes. Granola burns like a motherfucker, and burnt granola is even less enjoyable than burnt anything else (you will think that it will be fine and you can still eat it. And you will be wrong.), and what works with my oven might not work with yours, so stir it. It might seem like you added too much water the first two times you check it, but that’s normal. (If it’s still noticeably damp after 17 minutes, leave it in a minute or two longer.)

Adapted from Choosing Raw.

Pecan Granola

This granola combines the joy of pecans with the joy of sugar. It’s a little sweeter than the honey almond granola, and a lot sweeter than the buckwheat apricot granola, but sometimes, that’s all you want. Also, pro tip: however greased you think your pan is, you’re probably wrong. This stuff is really sticky the first time you take it out of the oven to stir, so make sure you won’t be standing over it with oven mitts with holes in them wishing you had a crowbar.

Ingredients

3 cups rolled oats (not quick cooking and definitely not instant)
1 cup pecan halves, roughly chopped
2 tsp. ground cinnamon
pinch salt
1/2 cup packed light brown sugar
1/4 cup water
2 tbsp. canola oil
1 tbsp. vanilla extract

Directions

1. Preheat the oven to 300°F with the racks in the upper and lower third. Grease your baking pans or sheets (sheets work, pans are easier because later you’ll be pushing things around).
2. In a large bowl, mix the oats, pecans, cinnamon and salt.
3. In a small pot, mix the brown sugar and 1/4 cup water. Simmer and stir over medium heat until the sugar melts. Add the vanilla and oil, and stir until everything is well-mixed. Remove from heat and pour over the oats and pecans. Stir with a spoon and not your hands, unless you have a high pain tolerance.
4. Spread the granola evenly over the two baking pans/sheets.
5. Bake at 300°F for 15 minutes, stir, and switch which pan goes on which shelf. Start watching everything very closely. Bake until golden, or for approximately another 10-15 minutes. When they come out of the oven, the oats should still feel a little soft. Cool in the pan.

Adapted from Fine Cooking. Lack of photos due to deliciousness.

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