FRIDAY OPEN THREAD: What Are You Wearing, Like, Right Now?

Feature image via shutterstock

illustration by rory midhani

illustration by rory midhani

Hiiiiiii cute humans! It’s Friday Open Thread time! That gay ol’ time. Talkin’ about stuff and things. Maybe even new threads.  And GIFs. Lots of GIFs. WOULD YOU HANGGGGG WITH ME?

robyn hang with me

robyn from tumblr

For whatever reason (okay, it’s the same reason as everyone else: new year’s resolutions), I often find myself contemplating my wardrobe in January. Everyone goes back to the daily grind and I start to wonder: Do I even like the things hanging in my closet? It’s deep enough into winter that I can determine the pieces for the season which I want to hold onto, and which pieces have little to no relevance to me. Sometimes it’s a practicality thing (worn, stained etc) and sometimes it’s just aesthetics. But I’ve started to do a closet clean out somewhere in the first four weeks of the year, just to kind of recalibrate myself.

When I was high school, every August I would compile a meticulously researched list after combing through countless magazines. The list would include all the articles I hoped to find at the mall/Value Village that would make me the coolest… Granted, my budget was typically limited and I managed to continue being a choir geek but the routine has definitely stuck. It’s one of my favourite new season activities: what do I want in my wardrobe now? It’s not always super long, but I find it super helpful to clearly articulate what it is that I’m jonesin’ for. Often times it’s things that I might already own. An aside: If you need help revamping your look, I’ve got you covered. Check it here.

So what am I currently into?

1. I tend to get very, very obsessed with specific pairs of shoes for months at a time.. Last year it was Adidas Superstar III, the year before it was Vans low lace ups. Spring 2015 has me thinking about two pairs: Vans Sk8 His in all white, and Dr. Martens Oxfords. Both fantastically low key, durable, good lookin’ and would go with just about everything I could ever want to wear.

amazon doc oxfords vans sk8 hi slim

2. This year will be the year I find a motorcycle jacket, goddamn it! I’ve been lusting after them since the 10th grade… Maybe I’ll save enough pennies for this one from ASOS.

asos moto

3. My love for dusters or glorified housecoats continues. Paired with coordinating pants? Sold!

asos coords

Now that you know what’s bouncing in the sartorial recesses of my brain, I want to know… What do you want to wear? What looks have you heart thumping? What have you been wearing all the time? Falling asleep in and wearing to work the next day? What do you never want to wear again? What did you do this week? What are you up to this evening/weekend/in life? I wanna chill with you, let’s get to it!

image from tumblr


hairspray fun times from tumblr

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Lydia O

Lydia Okello is a feminist, body positive, queer personal style blogger. On her website Style is Style, she showcases her panache for bright colors and power clashing. When she isn't pawing over Samantha Pleet collections on Tumblr, she's dreaming about havin' a kitten of her own one day. You can find her on Twitter, Tumblr and on her personal blog.

Lydia has written 64 articles for us.

265 Comments

  1. My Friday outfit is kinda boring – a T-shirt, long-sleeved thins weather thing in navy, dark skinny jeans, and cheap Target ballet flats. Oh, and my right-hand rings. :) TBH, I’d love to go full-Katharine Hepburn, but haven’t started building the wardrobe for it.

    ALSO: My divorce was finalized and ordered by the court last Friday, so I am officially single again. Now if I could find some lovely ladies with which to hook up (is that the slang these days?), I’d be set.

  2. I work in an office with a dress code of business casual and have exactly 5 dress shirts and 3 pairs of dress pants. I find it makes life so much easier to not have to make a tone of decisions on what to wear in the morning. However, I have always wanted a power pant suit, I think a good power suit looks bad ass.

    I started dodgeball again this week after a month break and I was sore for three days after. I forgot how much of a workout it can be. Can’t wait for the night when we have a double header.

  3. I’ve had to drastically minimize my wardrobe over the last couple weeks, as I’ll need all of it to fit in a few drawers on a boat. The hard part wasn’t getting rid of things. I’m great at that. I hate having too many things. The hard part was trying to build a tiny wardrobe that is both Alaska-practical and yet still femme, [because goddammit, the femme part is non-negotiable. I spent years tearing down my pageant-bred internalized misogyny and coming to terms with accepting and indulging in my femininity.] I think I’ve just about accomplished what I set out to do. It’s all about layers.

    • I have recommendations for any femmes/make up lovers of looks I have been worshipping since the start of the new year. MAC’s Smoked Purple lipstick: stays on all day, makes you look hella fierce. If you’re looking for a matching liner, MAC’s matte liner Bespoken For looks great. This dark purple also comes in a cream lipstick called Cyber. ALSO. MAC’s cream Fleshpot lipstick. If you have lighter complexion, it goes on like a nude lipstick. And if you’re looking for a red, MAC’s Viva Glam II is practically daily use for me.

      Clothes that I want? Doc Martens. I want a pair so badly in hurts. They’re just too expensive to justify for my budget. I also really would like to replace every bra I own with the more comfortable concept of a bralette, it’s just so damned hard to find cute, quality ones (if you have suggestions please let me know). Besides that, I’m on a quest to gay up my wardrobe a little more and become a visible femme. So ya know, flannels, white v-necks, and beanies are always on my radar.

      • I totally meant to post this on the main thread. Mobile version, oops!

        But amen to your femme comment. Preach.

    • Agree: layers and subtle accessories. Things like a scarf or a belt with filagree can change they way something looks drastically. I swear by layers anyway, because I’m cold-natured (but the plus is that they make almost anything possible to wear for longer, temperature-wise: i.e., across seasons).

  4. 1. Socks with winged pigs on them (one of which has a giant hole in it)
    2. Lounge/sweatpants/bumming around pants (super comfy that I got at Goodwill for not a lot of money)
    3. A purple short-sleeved shirt I got at Walgreens (also for not a lot of money)

    I never said I like spending money on clothes.

    Did I mention I want Doc Martens? Because I do.

  5. A very glamorous plushy purple housecoat, which I put on immediately after getting home from class this morning, and some hilarious cat socks. Second-semester blues are running me down.

  6. I confuse the fuck out of my coworkers because one day I’ll wear nice pants and a graphic t-shirt, the next jeans with a classy blouse and blazer, and the next a fit and flair dress with Chuck Taylors. I have a very low key dress code, so i like to mix up casual with dressy-er items. Interestingly, while my coworkers are mystified by this, the teens I work with (i’m a teen librarian) are not even remotely phased.
    I’m also very into ties, and 1) for the love of bell hooks how can a strip of fabric that small cost so much money? and 2)why do women’s button up shirts not button ALL THE WAY TO THE GODDAMN TOP? (Yes I would buy men’s shirts if only I could fit my boobs into them.)

    In other news, I’m in the process of breaking up with a best friend of 12 years. Because he treats me like shit and I just can’t anymore. It sucks a lot. A LOT.
    But I also have a brand new teen space at work that is almost done being renovated and made all shiny and BEAUTIFUL so that sort of evens things out.

    (Here is me being adorable in the children’s section.)

    • I love this! What is a teen librarian though? Do you work in like the YA section of a library, or is it a specific teen library, or are you a regular librarian who also works with teens on teen-type stuff, or something completely different and I’m just a dumbass? In any case, I would be super jazzed if you were my librarian.
      I’m sorry about your friend situation, that’s tough. But it’s good that you were able to recognize that it wasn’t a healthy friendship. You have to take care of yourself first, like they tell you on the plane with the oxygen masks.

      • I’m a regular librarian (at a public library) who specifically works with the teen population rather than working with adults or children. So I work with the YA books, and do programming and outreach for teens in the area. I am beyond lucky because I have tons of cool technology: a 3D printer, laptops, a PS4, DSLR camera, a music recording studio that the teens all have access to. So I do workshops on how to use these things and also help with homework and talk about books and talk about life. Sometimes I get paid for playing video games. It’s actually the best job ever.

        • Wait, what kind of magical library is this with a 3D printer and a PS4? I am pretty sure the fancy library down the street from me or the nice county library downtown doesn’t offer any of these cool things. Like can anyone use the 3D printer?

          Btw you look fab in that outfit.

          • I’m ridiculous lucky. My library is part of YOUmedia Chicago which is focused on digital media skills for teens and largely grant funded. the space and toys in my branch are only for high school age teens, but there is a maker lab in the main branch in downtown Chicago that had a 3d printer and laser cutter and all sorts of cool shit that anyone can use.

            Bit yeah, I’m beyond lucky.

        • Wow. That’s some great funding or grants or something. Somebody’s working hard, anyway– as hard as our teen librarian tried, we were really boxed in by lack of funding for anything beyond basics. That children’s area looks like so much fun.

          And also, your outfit is great as well. Derailed by books, as usual. I loved my library’s dress code, which pretty much said “no shorts.” I made a semi-hobby of seeing how far I could push that . . .

          • Alway the problem- not enough money. We have partnerships with some big companies and big grant funding. I don’t even do most of that getting the money stuff, because I’m part of a large urban system. I just get to play!
            And thanks!!

    • you are adorable! one of my besties is a teen librarian and she loves the shit out of it, she’s one of the cutest humans I know. and, yeah. friend breakups are super rough. I broke up with a 10-years-of-friendship-friend a couple years ago, because it just got super gnarly and we both did some unfortunate stuff and the wheels fell off. sorry to hear that’s happening. but up with people who treat you right!

    • You look fantastic! I have very little fashion skill, so I admire the ability to pull together such cute outfits. Yay for the the new work space, but sorry to hear about your friend. :(

      • Oh I love that!! I love her outfits! I shall study her site and learn from the master. ;)

        Also thanks to all for the kind words. You are all sweet and make my heart happy :)

  7. I’m wearing full workout gear from a failed attempt at going to the gym. My Spotify decided that all it could play was the first 2 minutes of Nicki’s Trini Dem Girls (which I love, just not for, like, an hour) and working out to whatever dad rock was playing at the time was impossible. This sports bra is now a lounge bra.

    In the interest of keeping things sartorial, here’s a gif of one of the world’s most perfect humans in the world’s most perfect dress:

  8. Amanda Bynes’ pigtails in that movie are everything to me.

    Right now I’m wearing an old Jim Morrison shirt and ripped sweatpants that once belonged to my brother’s ex-girlfriend’s step-cousin? Or something like that. They’re super comfy and have fantastic deep pockets. Clearly I am the epitome of style.
    But I really want to experiment with footwear, I’ve pretty much always been a plain flip flops and converse knock-offs person, depending on the season. But maybe boots can be a thing in my life?
    Also I am still unemployed, although I’ve had a few interviews and am a little less terrified of the process now. But! I’m starting a few classes at a community college next week, which is going to be crazy for me. It’s been almost six years since I’ve taken any sort of class, so it will definitely be an adjustment. But at least I’m doing something with my life other than sitting around daydreaming about Betty McRae.

      • Did you ever watch the Amanda Show?? All I remember about it is one of those fake commercials they used to do and it was for broccoli that tastes like candy I think? Truly great television.

    • Well hey, comfort is important! But I hear ya, boots sound like a thing I will get into…in the future. Cuz I am too broke to think of buying new anything, haha.

      Oh hey!! Congratulations once again! I hope the adjustment is as smooth as possible. You’re accomplishing a lot of things so far, Mik. Keep up the awesome efforts!

  9. Today I’m wearing my mom’s old flannel. She wore it all the time when I was a little kid and I remember lots of hugs while she wore it. When I wear it now it feels like getting a mom hug and I always end up giving myself lots of hugs throughout the day. It doesn’t quite fit, the arms are too short but it is soft and cozy and I will never give it up.

  11. So, I’m going out tonight for the first time dressed in unambiguously intended-for-ladies clothing. And I’m going out all by myself, to a bar I’ve never been to (although I’m assured by friends that it’s safe, but I had to ask, right?). And I’m scared shitless. I really really hope I can get a couple of snaps of me with one of the performers ’cause I’m a big fan). If I do, I’ll post ’em here.

  12. I have recommendations for any femmes/make up lovers of looks I have been worshipping since the start of the new year. MAC’s Smoked Purple lipstick: stays on all day, makes you look hella fierce. If you’re looking for a matching liner, MAC’s matte liner Bespoken For looks great. This dark purple also comes in a cream lipstick called Cyber. ALSO. MAC’s cream Fleshpot lipstick. If you have lighter complexion, it goes on like a nude lipstick. And if you’re looking for a red, MAC’s Viva Glam II is practically daily use for me.

    Clothes that I want? Doc Martens. I want a pair so badly in hurts. They’re just too expensive to justify for my budget. I also really would like to replace every bra I own with the more comfortable concept of a bralette, it’s just so damned hard to find cute, quality ones (if you have suggestions please let me know). Besides that, I’m on a quest to gay up my wardrobe a little more and become a visible femme. So ya know, flannels, white v-necks, and beanies are always on my radar.

    • I have been looking for a nice matte red that stays on all day, the ones I have come off as soon as I eat or drink anything, or make my lips feel so dry. I will have to try the MAC ones, thank you for the tip!

      I’m also trying to become a visible femme too, it is difficult because I tend to be high femme. I do wear a lot of plaid skirts and beanies though!

  13. west coast good morning to you, kittens!

    I am wearing leggings and my censorship socks (has a bunch of words struck out, somebody gave them to me at a banned books drag show) and a jersey dress and a gray hoodie with a pirate ship on it. my sartorial choices this morning are informed by the fact that it’s an ice cream shop working day and I am going to be sticky and sweaty and busy for several hours, so it is not in my best interest to be adorable.

    I have not much else to say about clothes this week, although I did buy myself a cute faux leather moto jacket,

    http://www.dressbarn.com/detail/roz–grey-moto-jacket/101943311

    and I got my potential wedding-shoes in the mail, which showed up looking sweetly cobalt, but are a little pinchy in the toes http://www.modcloth.com/shop/shoes-flats/dare-to-delight-flat

    Otherwise, I finally landed my fancypants hospital job, so I have been wearing like, my scissoring sweatshirt around and ripped up shit as much as possible, because that stuff does not fly working in hospitals. I think. I don’t know, doing hospital social work, probably nobody there worried about their grandma wants to be greeted by me in my old leggings that are getting translucent in the thighs and a messy ponytail and my AS hoodie, as charming as I am, because professionalism. So I’m getting it out of my system now.

    In other news I watched Broad City interview Sleater Kinney and it was the greatest fucking thing. And I (finally) bought the new SLK and D’angelo (and newish) blow albums and I’m going to dance around the ice cream shop and make a bunch of waffle cones. If you’re in Seattle, come say hi.

    • also, gf just gave away her babygay doc martens, complete with rainbow laces, to our friend’s 11 year old daughter, because she is awesome, and many of our friends were like GIVE ME we were like, 11 year olds, especially working class kiddos in fancy private schools, need doc marten super powers more than yall grownups with discretionary incomes. and she wears them around with this big smile and she is the cutest. her and her mom stopped by the ice cream shop this week and I taught her how to make waffle cones and it was GREAT.

      • This sounds like the best present! I can verify that rainbow laced docs give you powers, I will keep mine forever.

    • What ice cream place do you work at? I used to live in Seattle and miss it terribly. There was this very convenient ice cream place right across from my friend’s house and every time we walked by it smelled deliciously of fresh waffle cones!

      • The Seattle Public Library has a “what do queer folks want? How can we engage them better?” committee, which is magical, though it was mostly drag queens, in theory doing numbers inspired by banned books, there was a lot of “uhhhhh…..this is like…..fifty shades of gray” and some s/m themed numbers. WHICH IS GREAT NOT COMPLAINING. though no drag kings. does anybody drag king anymore? I miss that.

        • Oddly, there are a lot of drag kings here (relatively speaking, of course)– there’s even a night for them at the club in the next county over (which is just generally LGBTQ). There’s heavy competition for Mr. Pride at county Pride, too, and there were a bunch of drag kings in singing acts this year– not nearly as many as the drag queens, but still a fair number.

          Fifty Shades. Eh. I started the first book (long story), and it was entirely vanilla. I don’t get it at all. But still. I want this to be a thing here, “here” probably being the polar opposite of Seattle.

  14. I just cleaned out and donated all of my clothes that don’t fit and it was good. However I think I still have too many and should do another round. I had 4 yellow v-neck shirts? Like what the hell?

    Anyways, it’s Friday and on Friday I can wear jeans to work. But I always wear the same pair of dark wash skinny jeans on Fridays. However, I went like a little over board on being casual today. My boss said earlier this week that I could leave at 4, because she was gone last week and I didn’t let everything go to shit while she was gone. But this morning I was like haha I get out of work two hours early. And then somehow I ended up going to work with two henleys on.

    I am an administrator at a Montessori school. So like I usually wear nice clothes, because I often do tours and stuff, but also I need to be able to get dirty when kids get hurt or dirty or something. We’re chill, but I don’t know if we’re this chill. But I love this outfit.

    • ahhh! Cute hair, cute outfit, cute person! I really love the colors, especially the light blue with your reddish brown hair. I’d say you accomplished the perfect casual yet professional look.

    • Oh yeah…. the red-brown hair…. the smiley side ways look…. the open mouth and cute lips…… the big brown eyes….. but that wisp of hair down in front of your ear and over your glasses frame…. not to mention the mint-yellow Henley situation……!!!!

      Pretty sure you are a Vampire…..I felt weak and exposed my neck to your photo…… oh, I forgot… “Dear Amber, please come in and bite my neck. Thank you ever so much! What? No! I do NOT have cooties.” grrrrr ….I mean …. :* :*:*”

      • Sorry for the lame attempt at a clever comment about how amazing you, your photo, and your outfit all look!!

  16. Last year I finally embraced my gay heritage and bought a lot of plaid and button downs. I was just never into plaid before, but now that I’m here it feels so right. I also got over my body issues enough to get some skinny jeans which was a big deal for me.

    I’d sort of like to explore the world of patterned pants but I have pretty big hips and thighs (#westindian) so I feel like this is probably an advanced move I’m not ready for. I also need more fancy clothes (moderate fancy, like for nights out, and major fancy, like for weddings), but ???????????????

    I wore a pair of stilettos in August and they hurt so much, I never want to repeat that experience again.

    • I wore (very) high heels, usually with pointed toes, for about five years– all the time. When I was walking several miles alone just to get where I was going.

      From my feet (now) to your feet, better of without those shoes!

    • As a former non-pants believer… I have been reformed into embracing many a trouser. Including some plaid pants from Old Navy. I have big hips, big thighs and a big butt BUT my life has improved greatly since I learned to wear a patterned pant. (see evidence here

    • Same here w/ the skinny/tapered pants vs body issues! I love them now, and I’m so happy for for you and your confidence growth. RE fancyish shoes, if you have smaller feet young boys’ dress shoes tend to be very comfy and padded cause little kids whiiiine if their feet hurt and they tend to be cheaper

  17. I just watched the first season of hannibal and will graham has all the clothes I want

    I mean, I’d need to leave the desert, but I had a long think about it anyway

  18. My sexiest sock hat, because I thought it’d be a good idea to buzz off damn near all my hair in the dead of winter. On the plus side I’m hella fuzzy now.

  19. I’ve been buying floral patterned clothes whenever I find them in second hand shops, which now takes over most of my wardrobe and I didn’t even notice until someone pointed it out. I even bought a floral curtain. And black, I love black. Why isn’t there a shop that only sells black clothes? (or is there?)

    • There was a shop that only sold black clothes in my town but it closed down before I got the chance to check it out myself.

  20. Blank tank, black cotton moto, black wrap skirt with a little zipper, black tights, black clunky shoes. I basically have a cartoon character wardrobe for work (tee + stretchy skirt+stockings) but it’s so easy in the mornings!

  21. I am a bit partial to plaid shirts, but did recently via tumblr discover a genderqueer clothing that looks nice. I also like flats, but I found out I have flat feet so I am relegated to wear my gym shoes or flats with thick insoles. On the plus side my feet are very comfortable. I take bras count too, because I really like cotton sports bras as they are very comfortable. I plan to get some more when I can.

    This week I didn’t chase a person, shout, “this angry queer will get you,” or spend time in nature(well unless urban nature counts). I did on Saturday go to an adult store where all the employees, at the time I was there, are WOC. But, sadly they didn’t have any CrashPad or any queer porn, like CrashPad or Trouble Films(the only thing they had was gay porn for her, and the bad lesbian porn). Still left store with something for myself so it wasn’t all bad.

    I’m also starting to realize my father, just like Fox News doesn’t really understand race relations in this country(and generally blames it on the victim). Nor does he get that we lives in L.A. were Middle Easterners and Jews are treated fairly well. He has this silly idea that laws and morals mean something and that’s why police can’t harass people. He also essentially told me(when translated into English) that my major/what I learned in college, is good for nothing. I don’t really blame him, as it’s partially due to different cultural upbringings and parental stylings.

    I was browsing the play store for something when I saw an app called superimpose. It reminded me my camera has that feature. I decided to test it out on a busy-ish street during rush hour.

    Thank you for reading & viewing.

  22. I’m so boring. But my usual outfit are some cord pants, plain t-shirt, a hoodie jacket and my favorite sneakers.

    Or I dress up in a some kind of a formal outfit.

  23. Doc oxfords were my school shoes and I love them and all white vans…yes please!
    So my look has been dubbed “Lesbian Jonathan Creek” mostly due to my ridiculous curly hair and penchant for a massive Duffle coat and docs. As aforementioned (last week? I think) I am a skinny Jean, plaid shirt, denim shirt and henley and tee kinda soft butch gal pal day to day. Right now, it’s night time here so I’m ready for bed ish. I’m wearing what we call trackies but I think many of you will call sweats, plaid flannel, Henley, dinosaur tee and totes furry slipper boots missus bought me for Christmas. I’m probably going to slip on a hoody because it’s bloody freezing here and I dress like a grubby teen at a festival crossed wth a grandma when no one can see.
    I made a semi secret New Years resolution, (in that I made it in my head and not publicly…but I guess that’s over now), to only buy clothes from independents and charities this year. This isn’t going to work for trousers because no where makes trousers that fit me soooo yeah….but I’m hoping that all my shirts, tees and other tops can be sourced this way. So my money will hopefully be going better places and also I won’t be tempted to buy cheap crap I never wear but buy because it’s a bargain! I intend to have a huge clear out of my wardrobe (and wash heap…it’s basically a midden of old clothes that I am hugely embarrassed by) and up cycle some old tees that I don’t wear, not all of them though as the missus sleeps in them which is adorable.
    My weekend doesn’t start til 7pm on Saturday, so solidarity for any other weekend workers, and I have ZERO plans! I am delighted to be hibernating with my dog and lady. We may build a fort and play video games or not…Sunday is our oyster, I hope it’s your bivalve of choice, or vegan alternative, too.

    • I had a similar new years resolution last year (to only buy free trade or second hand clothes), and found it actually fairly doable, but work pants definitely took a little extra effort (and mostly I got lucky that someone donated trousers in my size to a local shop). But it’s definitely worth it, and I saved a surprising amount of money.

    • Excellent resolution. I know the pants problem, though; I’m short, and hemming is the very least required. If you need “good” pants for work, sometimes consignment shops are luckier than thrift for finding a larger variety of fits (at least that’s what I’ve found).

      • Short person solidarity! Also I’m oddly proportioned…according to the fashion industry…so finding big hips/spray on skinny leg is hard. Eggcup shaped people exist! Big hips don’t always mean big and long legs. Stupid trousers. Thankfully it’s rare I have to get away with anything smarter than a black chino. So as long as I don’t wear out what I have before May when it becomes chino shorts season I’ll be ok.

  24. I can’t take a picture right now, but I’m wearing my gym clothes. Black muscle shirt, black shorts, black socks, black shoes, etc. Like so:

    Pardon the face but I took this in a bathroom stall right before my first cycling class because I was terrified.

  25. I’m a middle school teacher. this is my friday at 3:41 pm look. honestly i just try to make my hair a 3rd character like in blue is the warmest color (see:adele)

    happy frizday

  27. Lately, I can’t stop wearing my big “skateboarding” shoes (you know, like those DC’s) which is embarrassing my mum whenever we go somewhere together (’cause apparently they make me look gayer than usual). Also I’ve been obsessed with my captain America t shirt since summer.I really want to get more shirts and maybe buy a tie, suspenders and a vest (I can’t find one anywhere!). I pretty much only own sweatpants and hoodies so I need to have at least one formal outfit.

  28. I am currently wearing a wish to know if anyone has seen The Fall starring Gillian Freaking Anderson as Detective Stella Gibson on Netflix. Tell me what you thought of it. I want to knowwwww.

    • It’s amazing and I haven’t even gotten to any of the queer lady bits yet. I love love love dark crime shows and also Gillian Anderson, so, you know, it’s basically the perfect show.

        • Yes! I really love this strong role for her! I especially appreciated that they didn’t compartmentalize her self-awareness, like make her very competent in her career but have uncharacteristically bad judgement of ppl in her personal life.
          I also really like how she owns and enjoys her femininity. I don’t want to give away spoilers but at the end of season 2 there’s a critical scene and as a cop, she could have dressed in a uniform for authority but she dresses the way she always does, quite beautifully, and I really loved that they did that on the show. I’m used to strong women being portrayed like Ripley on Aliens, but I really loved seeing a strong, respected, extremely competent feminine authority figure on the screen.

          • I think Mariska Hargetay’s character on Law & Order is another example of a strong feminine role, but it didn’t immediately come to mind because that show is more of an ensemble cast.

        • Yeah! I really liked the dynamic they wrote between Stella and her co-workers, incl the lesbian cop. Agreed I love dark crime shows and Gillian Anderson, stoked there will be a season 3.

  29. I went shopping today for a white dress shirt today and ended up buying this:

    I put it on as soon as I saw it and basically walked the whole store with heart eyes. And yes, I definitely saw myself like badass Emma Swan season 1.

  30. Since I am home and have no further social obligations for the day, it’s pjs (plaid, obv).

    In other news one of my students felt the need to assert her het. privilege before “defending gay rights” to me. It went down like this:

    Student: I’m 100%, completely straight. Like I want a family and a husband and all that. But I’m sooo for gay rights, ya know?

    Me:

    • She could of been more straight forward with her rudeness and just said, “But like no homo, bro.”

    • Was she being flat-out rude (well, yes, she was– I mean on purpose, I guess), or was she just that clueless? I hope your head feels better after you banged on the wall for the hour following that discussion.

    • Oh lord…. People can be soooo insensitive and just…. UGH. The worst I’ve had to deal with was when my old roommate (who I love dearly, she’s just super clueless) told me once: “like, I support gay marriage and everything… But lesbians really freak me out…” I wanted to verbally vomit on her and yell “do you even KNOW who you’re talking to?”. But I just glared at her behind my bio textbook.

      • OhmyGOD. I can’t even with your roommate’s comment.

        I don’t think this girl was intending to be rude so much as unintentionally asserting her straight privilege due to deeply internalized homophobia.

  31. Work: grad student uniform of jeans, t shirt, hoodie. Today’s t shirt was a special one I had printed to commemorate my lab’s strange accounting practices.

    Home: red flannel penguin pj pants and a tank top.

    • ahahhhh i have the same grad school uniform. people ‘dress up as me’ by borrowing my lab hoodie which i wear every day for years because of indoor micro-climates. also the custom lab shirt, ours was ‘The Incredibacters’, for a conference.

      • Ah-ha! Add a fleece and a hat to that (our specimen room is really cold!), you have my grad school uniform too! On data-collection days. On computer-programming days, I tend to dress up more, because weirdly I’m in a department where people dress up to go to the office and also because I really like colors?

    • Yes, lab attire is the best. You can wear whatever you want under the lab coat and nobody will care.

      Flannel PJs are also the best. So are penguins. I like your style. :D

  32. Well, I work in the garden dept. at Home Depot, in and out sooo…. jeans and short sleeves inside and a warm hoodie hanging close for going outside. Turquoise Nikes with rainbow shoe laces and pastel….. pink, mint, peach, yellow, blue, white ..ball caps for the noggin and the fun of colors!!

  33. Most days I like to dress like a promiscuous Victorian lady/like I think I’m Kristen Stewart, but right now I’m in a Puritan costume for a show. I dress up as a princess on weekends sometimes for fun, or a prince, if I feel like it. Really I just never got over the dress-up phase and I want to wear everything.

  34. Even though it’s January and the ugliest day we’ve had in Vancouver for weeks and weeks, I refuse to wait until the sun comes back to wear croptops.

    So I’m wearing a crop top with a camisole underneath and very work (but not rain) appropriate grey wool trousers. BUT ALSO my black patent Dr. Martin oxfords, so on topic~

    • I second that ugly weather memo. All my crops are tooooo tight for this weather :(

      Amen to Docxfords.

      WHY DID THE SUN DESERT US?!?!

  35. I’m an office manager, and I dress like one at all times.
    Like today:

    This year I want to become slowly ever more dapper, but I hate bow ties. It’s a problem. I need to find some good blazers and blouses that’ll sit right on the bosom, and not be ten million dollars.

  36. Most days I combine some sort of fancy-ish button down and jeans. I work in an office, but I’m not customer facing…so I compromise on the dress code. I’m still in my work clothes, but I spent most of today daydreaming about sandwiches and sweatpants. I will soon be wearing both of them. The sandwich on my face, because I’m starving and the sweatpants because, well, sweatpants.

    Clothes I want: I’ve been eyeing this pair of Vince Camuto motorcycle boots that I want. The only problem is that they’re a bit pricey. Other than that, they are perfection.

  37. Black t-shirt, black underwear, black socks, I’m about to go to bed, but in general: black. It complements the grey weather outside quite nicely.

    I am trying to own more button-up shirts, though.

  38. I got all fancied up yesterday for a photo shoot that my friend was doing and I spent the whole day feeling all sorts of sexy, which is good cause my ex decided to call last night and blah :/


    (I never seem to be able to get these pictures to work so fingers crossed)

    • Love love love the blue makeup! Really cool accessories, too. You deserve to feel awesome, cuz, well…you are! :D I hope the ex thing doesn’t get you down too much.

    • you look like the villainess from a summer Shakespeare-in-the-park production where you like, live in some inhospitable climate and control the weather and stuff with like, sexy vibes.

    • Great everything, and I’m very envious of the makeup. There was an article here about blue lipstick some time back, but I haven’t tried it. You pull it off 110%.

  39. Hello lovely people, happy weekend.

    Well I’d like to say I had cute outfit to share but today has been battling a headache at home so I got as far as a bleach splashed t-shirt. I’ve been having funny thoughts about clothes these days, mostly because I’m going through a phase where I really hate my body. I mean more than usual, I’ve been in a 20 year argument with it.

    I wish I could be as dapper as I was when I was a young. When I was little my smart outfit was trousers, a white button down, waistcoat and bow tie. Even at sixteen I’d go out in a suit. But these days I hate myself in trousers far too much to pull that off. So I get relegated to skirts, which makes people think I’m way more femme than I am. I mean I am, but… oh, you all know it’s complicated.

    Anyhow, my current view is this (featuring a shirt I have mixed feelings about. I’m not a pink person, or even a plaid person, but it’s soft and one of the few long sleeve things I own) I just had to appreciate the queer flag & plaid combination.

  40. I hate clothes. It’s such a bother, trying to decide what to buy, and then I end up with stuff I don’t really like, but I feel bad throwing it away. Thankfully, there is an op shop here that will take most of my secondhand stuff. I like knowing that someone will maybe still wear it. The unwearable old stuff – because when I find a thing I like, I wear it to death – gets cut up by my roommate for craft supplies.

    It’s Saturday morning here, so I’m wearing three pairs of fuzzy socks + two pairs of HeatTech leggings + cute pajama leggings with apples + HeatTech turtleneck + a shirt that matches the cute leggings + an L.L. Bean wool hoodie, because my godfather is under the impression I live in Hokkaido, not Tokyo.

    When I am wearing clothes: black clothes, charcoal grey clothes, cute and fun and exciting socks and sometimes a teacher scarf.

    • Op shop? OMG AUSTRALIAN!!!! (Or possibly a Kiwi — do New Zealanders say “op shop” too?)

      But, wait, LL Bean…that would be American…I’m so confused…regardless, both your current clothing and your “clothes” sound awesome. :-)

      • Sorry, I’m an American, living in Japan, but I picked up “op shop” from my New Zealander friends.

    • I can relate. I avoid shopping for clothes for myself as much as I can and wear my clothes until they have holes and are worn out and unpresentable (sadly, the “unpresentable” stage is also when they are the comfiest).
      Your saturday morning outfit sounds wonderful for winter!

      • I know what you mean about the “unpresentable” stage being the comfiest. My current pair of shoes (yes, only one at a time…) has a hole in the side and it looks terrible but they’re sooo comfy it’s hard to replace them with a pair that isn’t broken in yet. Sigh.

  41. Currently wearing purple-white paisley skirt, white turtleneck, and baby blue sweater. Am in bed at the moment, so my feet are only adorned with socks, but I *did* make it into the office today, and I was wearing my awesome new boots to do so, so that was an excellent thing.

    On a not-so-excellent level, this past week has been a pretty terrible week. Not the worst week of this past year — not even the worst week of this past year that *didn’t* involve a trip to the emergency room — but still awful. Wonderful warm fuzzy internet community, can I have a hug, please?

  43. I’m currently wearing brown Gap cargo pants, a brown tank top, and a pink flannel shirt. I’m going to put on my new fake Tims when I go out to complete my lumberjack look.

    I’d also really like to find a leather jacket. It’s so hard to find one that fits well around boobs and hips.

    I’m currently obsessed with these shoes I got. Hooray for having tiny feet so I can wear boys shoes.

  45. Today my coworker told me that my outfit made me look like a “sexy Canadian lumberjack” so I’m considering that to be a fashion win! I’m just glad I don’t have to interact with the general public at my job so I can pretty much wear whatever I want. But since it’s Friday night now I’m gonna go wild and crazy with my fashion choices and put on a pair of strawberry-patterned pajama pants over my leggings and take off my bra. In preparation for whiskey-drinking and Netflix-watching.

  46. At this moment I’m wearing tactical boots that need a cleaning, light but not white jeans that are probably need hemming but I’m too lazy so I roll em, the bottom half of a thermal underwear set, one of the those six pack white tees, and a long sleeved black and white striped button up shirt shirt that is so old it’s more like an ebony and ivory with a navy blue collar shirt.

    Sometime soon I’ll be joining the pajama wearing horde en super soft fuzzy purple pants, same white tee shirt and a danskin sweater with a busted pocket.

    What I want to wear is point of contention cause I don’t really know what I want. I have good taste and a good eye just not a real sense of self or conviction when it comes to sartorial matters.

    There’s the harsh, kinda polished but more like icy femininity I pull off but don’t really identify with but enjoy the reactions or lack of reactions. Rachel from Orphan Black is not a woman who gets catcalls or lascivious stare at least not openly.

    The other femininity I dabble is not resctable, it’s trashy and a sort of predatoriness to it that Nicki Minaj has. I feel powerful with it and I like it just I don’t feel safe outside the walls of my living space. In public it feels like I’ve painted a target on to myself: FEMALE- come do bad things to me. Hangry is a word but what is sad + angry because that word describes my upset to that nasty feeling.

    In a suit I do feel sexy and protected so there’s this outfit type thing I’ve come up with that borrows the eye makeup of the trashy femininity and tight pants.
    Basically it’s a suit jacket, a t-shirt, tight pants or the fake leather tights, freshly cleaned tactical boots in full view, Adam Lambert/Eva Green eyes and most importantly my hair in all its fluffy death metal Viking glory. Though there is this hairstyle I’ve worked out how to do that looks like Dothraki hair had a baby with Crimson of Street Fighter hair.

    Clothes that code as masculine I feel super comfortable with just I’m not supposed to antagonize or terrorize people anymore. Ice princess resting face looks threatening and garbed and surrounded by masculinity in a way a harsh clinical femininity doesn’t.

    Sometimes its fine there’s no trouble I code like a good ole boy to people or someone just looks at me funny and I move on, other times I relish the fear and confusion and get very tempted to be the little terror I use to be. I haven’t slipped up and I dun wanna.
    Part of the issue is my masculinity isn’t very classy beyond work attire and to well- bred folks I look like low class and possibly criminal.
    Oh the horror.

    Just when I get fear or revulsion from someone it’s like Bruce from Finding Nemo. Friends not food friends not food friends not food friends not food friends not food friends not food friends not food. At some point my resolve is gunna to give and I’m way too old for detention now.

    If I can get “classier” with the casual masculinity the chances lower somewhat but beyond black suits nothing catches my fancy it’s all very blah to me. Fancy gothboy-ness is not a step in the right direction because it becomes vampire overlord real quick like and finger armor is way creepier than a person of indeterminate gender that looks like mugger and or roadie.

    Sometimes I wonder if my trouble trying to wardrobe myself is related to having been a ballerina and theatre kid. Everything is a costume and only nudity is the truth. Being everything feels like a costume and femininity because it requires much more maintenance maybe feels the most false when people reward or compliment me for it.

    I’m a mess but no matter what there’s always boots and sweaters to keep me warm and give cozy feelings.

    • On occasion I have a pretty princess moment á la Jennie Breeden author of The Devil’s Panties and purchase something “out of character” or just plain useless because it captured my fancy and refused to let go.

      Being a former ballerina my feet are tough and with maintained exercise my balance is still quite good so fer shits and giggles I try on ridiculous high heels.It’s something I’ve been doing since I was still a ballerina come to think of it.

      On the way home from the Battle reenactment in Chalmette I end up in Payless while my beau was checking out some tennis shoes on sale.

      So uh now I own these:

      Their home will be a closet and they will never see the outside world minus a one person dance party in front of a home computer.

  47. I am dressed in an oversized sweater, leggings, and socks. I have an accompanying headache that idk where it’s from. I’m feeling Bleh, and really debating if i want to go to camp this year or not.

    I’m just really tired. I’ve been managing, but still struggling. And i feel lonely, so i need someone to come over and be a burrito with me so we can huddle together and tell burrito secrets. (I don’t even know.)

    • I tried to find a burrito picture, but don’t Google that, because I think 15-year-olds came up with most of those.

      Managing but struggling is not the best– it’s just an uncomfortable place to be. That’s pretty much where I am. It does actually make you tired, doesn’t it? So sorry. Hope things take an upswing.

      • It really does make you tired. And you feel like you’re exhausting everyone else, too. I feel like by this point I’d pay money for an upswing, you know? I’m so done with all this stuff.

    • Hang in there! I can relate to the ‘managing but struggling’ stuff. *sending virtual hugs and burritos*

  48. Everyday: Black or pin stripe pants, long sleeve high-neck plain shirt, super bright cardigan, Kelly green leather boots. When in the mood, plain cardigan, loud collared shirt, bolo tie.

    Did you know if you say excuse me and nobody moves, you can say “beep beep,” and their subconscious harkens to toddler days and they move without skipping a beat? Works with strangers, and parents, too!

    Emotionally heavy week. Discovering that my monthly hell may be PMDD and this awareness lessens the suffering. I finished Step 1. I had a spiritual experience just before. I’m in a fight for my life. Every day is a death match with depression, and I’m winning. More than that, I’m gaining in life from the work I’ve done – it’s like learning that you can get fat. I’ve been eating, spiritually, to be fit, and have discovered that there are stores for the hard times. Therefore, my manner of dress is not concerning to me as it was. I try to dress in the simplest way that makes me comfortable. :)

    • I was on the bus and just recognized the choppy transitions – boo for one-thumbed commenting! I’ll expand to say that my spiritual experience opened my eyes to the potential of life, that in caring for myself I am fighting to be alive. It’s true that depression and I have a conversation every day, each of them thorough, and more brief every day because there is less to be said.

      • I desire to fist bump you and sing We Are the Champions in a ridiculous and possibly off key duet that might be missing a some words and lines but contain the best ones:

        But it’s been no bed of roses,
        No pleasure cruise.
        I consider it a challenge before the whole human race
        And I ain’t gonna lose.

        And I need just go on and on, and on, and on

        We are the champions, my friends,
        And we’ll keep on fighting ’til the end.
        We are the champions.
        We are the champions.

    • I will have to try out that beep, beep maneuver next time someone doesn’t move after a excuse/pardon me.

    • Oh I do love a good pinstripe; I don’t know why, but I definitely have a fondness for them.

      I never tried beeping at people in the street, store etc. but I do it to my students in the corridors all the time. Maybe I’ll try it in the supermarket instead of muttering under my breath in English (I wonder how well that’ll go over here).

      Sometimes it’s hard to take care of yourself, or even realise that you need to, but it’s good to know that you are working on it. Small steps matter; do what makes you happy and keep having those conversations, one day you’ll be able to tell depression you don’t want to talk. In the mean time be kind to yourself.

      • I have a hard time keeping life simple. But it keeps me occupied, and that’s really what I need. :). Thank you for your kindness <3

  49. Today I’m defying the bitter cold with a pair of lacy black tights and a navy blue dress. Lace makes me really happy. Lately I’ve been wanting a pair of silver Vans. I think they’ll be great for my spring wardrobe.

    • silver sneakers are high on the “things I would like to possess” list too. nothing could get you down in silver shoes. Superpowers, for sure!

  50. Hiiiiii! Since I’m hanging out at home, I’m currently wearing a wool sweater, a vintage tee and leggings as pants. Today’s my Saturday and I’m snuggled with my laptop and blankets and you lovely humans. Thanks for hanging with meeeeeee, I like you a lot.

  51. You know Kate Mckinnon’s wonderful Bieber impression, in SNL’s My Calvin’s ad? I dress like that.

  52. I’m wearing high-waisted skinny-cut (note: is there a better term than “skinny” cut? there should be) black pants with zippers to about mid-calf. Black tank top under that (kind of arbitrary pick on the color, since it was really just for a layer). Lilac sweater with black cuffs and oversized black turtleneck. No earrings today, because if I wear a turtleneck, I always somehow manage to lose one. And the necklace I always wear is on a short chain, so it’s not visible under the sweater. I was wearing short black boots, but bright purple knit socks have taken over. This is not a very typical outfit– more of an “I’m cold” one.

    I wear dresses much of the time, 50s-ish if I can manage it (or at least something classic-looking). I get very excited about tights in winter, and the ones I have range from reasonably nice to questionably more appropriate for a child. I had to give up heels because my feet threw in the towel, so now I channel that energy toward unusual flats. I always (as in never take it off) wear a small silver infinity necklace (which I realized was trendy after I got it) that I got while I was not well to remind me to keep going.

    My mother tossed a huge number of clothes for me, so I have stuff that goes back as far as 2000 at the moment. But it was really good to let go of all the old stuff. I’m trying to wear pants more, but eh. There so much body-positive stuff right now that I feel like a hypocrite for embracing the concept but being unable to adopt it for myself (as it applies to me). Anyway. It’s just been a really rough week.

    This was actually the picture of me at work (cardigan, coffee cup, Dewey book):

    This was my just-now attempt at a picture (without the sweater– I tried that, but because I’m very bad at taking pictures, I kept making some really odd misfires because of the turtleneck). So it’s a plain black tank top. Stylish. Or something. But it has books!

    A good weekend to all. Meditate on this high-altitude sunset, and deep breaths. And, as always, coffee.

      • I’m good with that. Pencils. I’ll try not to call them my Number Twos.

        (I’m also having a joking argument with my brother at the moment, hence the reversion to infancy)

        • omg number twos ahaaaah :^D
          Yesterday my good friend asked me if I liked lobster, and my knee-jerk response to her was “Why not Zoidberg?” because I am ten years old. I apologized, but also still think that’s hilarious.

          • It is okay to be 10. My niece is 5, and we have an eerie amount in common– except I think she’s probably the mature one. As in she’d probably get left in charge if it was between the two of us.

    • I don’t think you’re a hypocrite. Body positivity isn’t an all-or-nothing thing to adopt – it’s a work in progress. It’s something we try to embrace more and more each day, even if we’re not there as much as we’d like to be. I’ve been trying to think of my body in neutral, functional terms – it is muscle to power me through my day and bones to support my movement.
      I love the infinity necklace.
      Beautiful photo (and books are always a nice addition too! :) )

      • Excellent advice and mindset– neutral is probably a very good step on the way. Thank you for sharing that! Thanks also about the photo. My beloved books . . .

    • So you’re adorable. I thought you should hear that today (if you haven’t been told already).

      Also body positivity (as mentioned) is totally a process. I advocate it all over the place but in practice it’s hard. Keep it up <3

      • Thank you; that’s really nice of you to say.

        Process, process. Yes. I should write that on my hand or something!

  53. Regarding clothes: Every day is casual Friday beneath my labcoat. My work attire is a combination of PPE and GMP. I love it. I don’t do formal.

    Anyway, I just got off a 12 h shift and immediately took off my bra and changed into lounge-around clothes: yoga pants, slippers, a fleece beanie, a down vest, and my favorite tee shirt with the periodic table of elements in it.

    Anyway…
    I’m excited because my passport finally came in the mail! Now I can travel! I was thinking about taking the Amtrak Cascades train up to Vancouver BC sometime, just something small since I can’t really afford to take any big trips right now.

    This week was good. My mom came down and visited on my days off and we hiked around some beaches and made a delicious vegetable stew. I took her to where I saw the orcas last week, but sadly we didn’t see any more. But we did see a couple bald eagles and a blue heron and a seal swimming in a river, which seemed a bit odd (it was at a delta/estuary). I’m easy to entertain – I’m happiest if I’m just spending time in nature or with family.

    I’m an introvert and don’t make friends easily, but I’m pretty close to my family: my parents and brother. Sometimes I wonder if they would still love and respect me the same if they knew everything about me.

    I was having a discussion with my mom earlier about bullying and how we wish society would simply treat everyone with kindness and respect regardless of their differences. Seems like such a simple concept. And she told me that she values someone for their character and that’s really all that matters. But I’m still worried she would think less of me if I ever came out to her.

    UNRELATED: Dr. Bronners soap is the best stuff in the world. Remember that thread a while back that mentioned it? Anyway, it inspired me to buy some and I’ve been using it nonstop and my dry skin and heart and soul love it.

    Anyway, here are some sunny photos to prove that Washington does get nice weather :)

    Sun at chambers bay

    I think coastal madrones are my favorite tree.

    The Narrows

    • aw, I haven’t been to Seattle in so long, it looks so beautiful!

      Also Dr. Bronner’s is one of my desert island products, it’s the best! The citrus one is my current favourite.

      • Yes, I love the pacific NW. I’ve moved around a bit, but I grew up here, and it it really feels like home. YES to Dr. Bronner! I think the peppermint soap is my favorite. :)

    • Patricia!! I just want to first apologize for not responding to your last Friday post. (I did read it, though)

      A periodic table tee sounds like the best thing ever. Seriously. Also congrats on the passport! Must be exciting. I hope you can travel as soon as possible! :D
      That’s so sweet that you had a lovely week! You absolutely deserve it~ I’m glad your relationships are very close. I understand exactly what you mean about the fear of coming out to them, though. All that bonding, the closeness…it could evaporate in an instant if they don’t take it well. Sigh, best of luck with this in the future though.

      Anyways, I think you’re making me want to visit Washington someday. All your photos are so dang gorgeous, like…is there just beauty in every corner of your town or what??

      • Dante!! :D No need to apologize! Yeah, it’s my favorite tee shirt and very comfy too (and sadly, worn out to the point of having holes).

        Thanks for the encouraging/understanding words about my family. I wish the best to you as well.

        Yes you should definitely visit washington! I think there’s pockets of beauty to be found almost anywhere in the world, but the pacific NW is definitely a special place to me. I’m sure your town in California has a lot of neat stuff too though. :D

        • Oh nooo. Worn out clothes make me sad. Hopefully you can get a new one in the future? (and pair it up with that infinity scarf you told me about? haha)

          It’s no problem at all!

          That’s true, there’s neat stuff to be seen everywhere. I guess that’s why I’m a roadtrip person. ;) Also yeah, the pacific coast is awesome everywhere. I traveled nearly all of the Cal coast so maybe someday I can go farther to Washington? Anyways thank youu.

          • Yeah, road trips are awesome! The biggest one I ever took was across the country from Colorado from Washington while moving – it was in the dark and pouring rain until I reached Utah, but it was definitely an adventure! I’d like to visit California again – I have a lot of relatives there, so I visited quite a few times as a kid, but I haven’t been in a while. Mainly southern California, Orange County area (though I did go to San Fransisco once in college, and I loved it). The west coast is so beautiful.

            YES, a periodic table shirt with an infinity galaxy-print scarf is an awesome combo! :D

    • As a fellow introvert who is closest to my sister, I had the same fear. Luckily my sister is super accepting and has been supporting (I only came out to her a few months ago). I hesitate with my parents, though. I’m afraid of how they would handle it. So I can relate.

      I’ve always wanted to visit/been drawn to the Pacific Northwest, and every time you post your photos, I’m reminded of that. It looks so wonderful.

      • That’s great to hear you have such a supportive sister! Siblings can be amazing friends; I’m fairly close to my younger brother too. I wish you the best with your parents in the future.

    • Yay introverts. Also, yay passport. I’ve never been to Washington, but their tourism site could certainly use your pictures to get people to visit. They certainly make me want to.

      I understand about family. We have a kind of enmeshed relationship, so everything tends to get a little screwed up at times– especially complex things. I honestly still can’t tell how they feel about me, but from the way I read your post, I don’t think we have that closeness. All I’d say is don’t do anything until you feel ready. If you’re not or don’t feel the time is right, there’s no imperative. If you have someone on hand you can talk this through with at whatever length necessary, don’t be afraid to ask. Saying it aloud to someone else first can help a lot, even if you’re just talking through potential scenarios.

      • Yes visit! Thanks for the kind words (and the compliments on the photos!). I don’t know if I’ll ever feel 100% “ready” – but I do find myself gradually feeling more ready as I accept myself more. I grew up in a rather conservative (and judgmental) church environment, but I actually think my family is a lot more open-minded than my peer group growing up.

  54. You guys my wife says hello!!! I arrived here in the Philippines a couple hours ago and my body is all jet lagged. I took AS advice to fly looking dapper. I wore a necktie! Lol and my tie clip!!!

  55. I work every day except Sunday’s and both my jobs have pretty professional dress codes. So most days I have to wear dress pants, oxfords and I really like to layer button down shirts with sweaters now that it’s cold. Right now Im wearing my YMCA uniform after one of the most exhausting nights of work ever. I’m great with kids 99% of the time (especially since both my jobs involve being with kids 100% of the time) but certain events my job holds causes these kids to become little demons that suck the life out of me within the first 10 minutes of said event.
    I survived, but nights like these make me feel like children are the real life version of dementors.

    • “I survived, but nights like these make me feel like children are the real life version of dementors.”

      Yes. This. This is a perfect description of the thoughts that go through my head when I have to watch my 6 year old nephew for more than about half an hour.

  57. First things first, I’d like to apologize about not responding to you lovelies last week. It’s been another hectic week. Again.

    It seems like something drastic happens every week. Sometimes I wonder how I’m handling it. Last Friday one of my best friends went missing for 2 days, until he was found and taken to psych ward. It was absolutely terrifying to say the least, especially since he was in a completely different town and was not allowed to use his phone. He was expected to stay for a couple of weeks, but thankfully he recovered enough to be released early! c: I saw him today and I was so happy, I hugged him so much. It was almost like a miracle because I had a dream last night about it happening. So yeah, the week started off bad, but I must say that I am feeling much better now. I am very happy, more than usual.
    But yeah, things are tough. Luckily, I manage to cope and be generally content, but its just stressful y’know? There’s just so much going on in all of my friends’ lives. I know this won’t last forever, though. Heck, even if it does, I still think I will manage. I gotta pull through. Supporting friends is important!

    Phew, it always feels nice to share with you amazing straddlers. It really helps a lot, more than you know! Have a lovely and safe weekend~

    • I knew I forgot something. I didn’t even address the topic of this thread, woops!

      I am all about button-ups, slim jeans, and skate shoes. I really love clothes. I only found an appreciation for them last year when I actually got to buy stuff I wanted. I’d buy more if I had the cash, haha.

      • Me too! I wish I had closets full of oxfords, button-ups, and bow ties. I used to be just a jeans and t-shirt kind of gal, but once dapper fashion was discovered, there was no stopping me! Too bad our cash reserves don’t match our fashion senses!

        • Haha, I totally get you! I was all about torn cargo pants and my dad’s oversized t-shirts until just a couple years ago. It was comfy, sure, but I wanted outfits that reflected my style, my character. :D
          Don’t worry when I win the lottery I’ll be sure to send you some dapper dollars. ;)

    • Yikes, that sounds like a rough week! I’m so happy to hear your friend was ok and is doing better.

      Hope things start to stabilize a bit for you! Too much stress just gets exhausting. Glad things are looking up though. You sound like such a supportive friend.

      • Thank you so so much for your kind words. It really means a lot to me. Like, a LOT, I wish I had more words!
        I hope things are alright for you, too. I’d say you’re a supportive friend, too! c:

  58. So, first off, this is my first time posting properly on AS — so yay!

    It’s Friday night and it’s too cold to muster up the courage/energy to face the night, so it’s a P.J. kind of moment. But typically, I’m in dresses, tights and low-heels. I work as a reporter so I have to be totally vanilla and presentable. Outside of work however, I like to keep it fairly minimalist but I do have some items that….pop. My favorite pieces of clothing at the moment include a vampy black lace dress, chunky high-heeled black boots, a black jumper with a front-panel design of red roses, and a jacket covered in dark blue-plaid and roses. I’m all about contrasting really typically feminine items/designs with typically “masculine” styles.

    I became known among my friends for always wearing knit beret-style caps (I have no idea what to call them but I was growing out a short cut and they covered the messy reverse half-mullet thing that was happening), and over-sized hoop earrings. And these are definitely still some of my staples — although I’m breaking the habit. Most recently, I’ve been super into dark plum lipsticks, black skinny jeans and loose long tops. I also tend to wear button-downs unbuttoned with the sleeves rolled up and a tank-top underneath. This was my go to with harems all summer when I was only interested in staying cool and drinking insane amounts of iced coffee.

    Also, can I just say, those Docs above are beautiful? I love Oxfords — they are perfect with everything. Really.

    • CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR FIRST COMMENT, WONDERFUL STRADDLER. I hope to see many more comments from you in the future! :D

      Oh yes, when it comes to cold nights, I think pajamas are the only acceptable articles of clothing. Stay warm!
      I like your methods of contrast. Very cool. Also, knit berets are awesome. You got a nice sense of style!

      • Thanks, Dante! I’m definitely looking forward to talking to more Straddlers in the future.

        Longtime reader (lurker?) but was too busy being shy to jump in. But recently moved to a new city so I’m shedding that and aiming to put myself out there more — so here’s to 2015 and new friends!

        • You’re welcome!
          Best of luck to you in the new city! That must be scary, but hopefully exciting too? c:

  59. I was wearing dark wash jeggings with a super comfy black split back sweater earlier today. But it’s 1AM ET now and I’m lounging all casual wearing a long leopard print plush robe with a long black tank and pj shorts.

    Watching the Fall on Netflix and catching up on woooooork and maybe playing the Sims on my phone. Maybe. Less work is happened than should be.

  60. I arrived in freezing Vancouver this morning and so my ‘outfit’ is a survival kit which entails white long johns under a pair of cream steam punk crop trousers I bought in Berlin five years ago. These are hidden under a navy suit jacket, green hoody and a red rain coat! The State of me! I do like my cosy grey beanie though.

  61. Well, I really wanted to be in my roller derby onesie, but it’s in the dryer. :(

    Instead I’m wearing a semi-smart top, beige jeans, a dressing gown and a weighted shoulder rest thing.

    But I saw that bunny picture, and I swear my rabbit has been terribly behaved for the last 4 or so days. Stew Junior needs to clean his act up!

  62. I feel the wardrobe blues so hard. I have a very overworn jean cut-off vest that I wear literally every day in different ways. Hey–under a sweater, hey, over my three options of striped long-sleeves– Every time I am attempting to look cool, that stupid vest goes on. And then I spend a moment recalibrating thinking, the last time I saw so-and-so I was definitely wearing the vest… then I remember that I have no other options and go for it anyway.

    https://fbcdn-sphotos-a-a.akamaihd.net/hphotos-ak-xpa1/v/t1.0-9/10435701_10205871737815401_2720341991361692129_n.jpg?oh=6cf8485a511edba1b6ddd7a2f52b8772&oe=5569727D&__gda__=1432922219_62ac089bf08f42859ebb2fe8bd39e788

    I was kind of proud of this jean under blue jacket thing last night. And look– I won earrings and a hat at an open mic night! So…there’s that.

  63. /Users/wurstsaraha/Desktop/10435701_10205871737815401_2720341991361692129_n.jpg

    Huh, apparently I can’t read directions. Lemme at that again.

  64. Right now I’m wearing a fancy dress because tonight is my joint birthday party with a friend of mine. I have been in a pretty bad place until recently so this whole evening has been hard work keeping a cheerful appearance up, and I just want to leave but it’s at my house so I can’t!! Really need to escape so saying this to all you awesome straddlers is my mini escape.

    I’m going to channel my inner-Beyonce and get through this!

  65. Friday night: Ombre cut off tank and grey joggers. I would absolutely wear this to the store, to a party, or right to bed. So. Versatile.

    In addition, I’m a fan of these looks below. I’m a minimalist and mostly monochromatic so apologies to the more adventurous out there. And COMFORT above anything else really.

    • Trust your taste!

      But I do think it’s a great dress– the perforations make it unique, and I’m partial to things that flare like that, personally. And because I’m turning into my mother: it doesn’t have to be dry-cleaned– major bonus.

      • Thanks ya’ll! I really like it, but also I don’t really buy things that are full on made of faux leather, so it’s like “is this cute or does this sort of look like someone on Project Runway made this out of trashbags?”

  67. Friday night: Ombre cut off tank and grey joggers. I would absolutely wear this to the store, to a party, or right to bed. So. Versatile.

    What I’m currently diggin’:

    Dainty jewelry. Soooo small and delicate.

    Bandanas!

    Where did your sleeves go type tank with hoodie.

    Overalls because, why not?

    Mmm. I like, goooold. Pants.

    SUIT-JACKET DRESS. YASS.

  68. The latest in fashion. Topman oxford and a pissed off rabbit (unfortunately without the Robin Hood sombrero).
    photo Photo on 1-24-15 at 10.35 PM_zpsp1pwkoon.jpg

  69. I’m wearing a fuzzy black sweater that has a kitten in hipster glasses and a hoodie on the front bc it’s been a bit of a rollercoaster week.

    Like we’re just innocently trying to plan our wedding and look at venues and boom, two members of my family die in one week. My uncle, who was elderly and very sick, and my cousin’s daughter, who was 8 days shy of her THIRTEENTH FUCKING BIRTHDAY. Completely out of the blue.

    So this week has been a bit of a rough one.

    But we went to sing-a-long Grease night at the little local theatre here and everyone wore costumes and did props and sang and yelled lines and it seriously cheered me up so much, I am so grateful to all of those people who are never even gonna know what it meant to me. Thank you, Grease audience. <333

    • Oh my goodness…and I thought I had a rough week. Puts things into perspective. My deepest sympathies, Sky. That is just so sad and terrible, and something like this should never happen to anyone. I am so sorry.
      I am happy to hear that the Grease night cheered you up a lot, though<3 Seems like you are handling things rather well. As always, be sure to take care of yourself in these turbulent times. Relax, take it easy. I send you positive vibes~

      • Thank you so much. I really just hope my cousin, his ex-wife and their families don’t blame themselves bc I feel like that’s something that could very much happen even though they did absolutely every single thing right. The poor kid had already been through SO much bad shit in her life, like just SO much, this just seems like this terrible extra level of unfair.

        Sigh.

        Anyways. Thank you so much for your kind words. And hey, rough weeks are all relative, don’t count yours out just because someone else’s was worse or we’d all be stuck never feeling any empathy for ourselves whatsoever, bc realistically there’s always going to be *someone* who is worse off, somewhere.

        On the bright side, my not-really-homophobic-but-kind-of-vaguely-weirded-out-by-stuff rednecky brother was like “FINALLY, some GOOD news this week!” when I bbm-ed him that we had a tentative wedding date picked out?!

        Imma silver-lining this week if it kills me.

        • Hey sorry for the late response. c:

          Yikes…I can only imagine. Yes, I’m sure you’re doing a good job of comforting everyone. You sounds very supportive, and that’s exactly what everyone needs in this sort of situation, including yourself.

          That’s a very good point. Thank you so much for that insight!

          That’s AWESOME, Sky!! That’s great to hear he was so relieved to hear the good news. It’s always good to see the silver-lining. Coping would be harder, otherwise!

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