How To: Find A Bra That Fits Your Dapper Bod

For years I have had a love/hate relationship with my girls. I call them my girls, not my breasts and definitely not my tits. It all started after college when they continued to grow and grow, making me feel weighed down and completely out of proportion. With every small pound gained or lost, it seemed that my boobs would hold on steady. As an active person, I was constantly wearing sports bras to keep them flat and slightly hidden, but I suffered from back, shoulder, and neck pain.

I spent a lot of time and a lot of money going to various department stores to try to find the “right bra.” For years, I wore the same size and even the same brand because that’s how I am. If it works, buy it in three colors. But still they never seemed quite right.

I was introduced to Iris Lingerie through a friend who also shares the big boob gene. She told me that Iris was her go-to woman for the right bra, so I went down to see what was cooking in the secret sauce. I was greeted by the lovable, cheery Iris Clarke. I told her that I was pretty sure I was a 34DD. She eyeballed the girls and called out to her assistant to bring out the first bra for me to try. Much to my horror it didn’t fit. The girls were not even close to fitting in this bra. What? I was dumbfounded. But I’ve been wearing this size forever! So we try another one, then another one, and then another one and finally the girls sat snugly in a much, much bigger size. I was defeated, shocked, and mildly horrified. I mean, I knew they were big but DAYUM, on my 135lb frame that just seemed laughable. But Iris was not horrified. She thought it was great and told me they were beautiful. I rolled my eyes and decided to call myself Butch Barbie.  I dropped $100 bucks on one black and one nude because seriously, what else does a butch need?

dapperq's susan herr finds her perfect match

I walked out of the salon with the perkiest boobs ever. When Susan Herr of dapperQ and I got started talking about segments to produce, I knew that this had to be the first one. Feeling comfortable in your body might take a lifetime for some of us, but at least you can start by getting the girls fitted right.

Check out the video of our trip to Iris Lingerie!

Originally published on Robin Cloud Comedy da BLOG!. Republished with permission.

Find Susan Herr on dapperQ.

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Robin Cloud

ROBIN CLOUD is a New York City based comedian, writer and actor. She is the host and producer of her critically acclaimed live comedy show, "The Triple Minority Report" which packs the house at NYC's hottest comedy clubs. Robin can also be seen sharing her comedic observations to the masses at Caroline's, Gotham Comedy Club, The Broadway Comedy club and many more. Her festival appearances include the Women in Comedy Festival, Ohio Lesbian Festival, Fresh Fruit Festival, Emerging Artists Festival, and the Hot! Festival at Dixon Place. Frequently booked to be the Master of Ceremonies, she is proud to have teamed up with fantastic artists and organizations such as Hetrick-Martin Institute, The Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual & Transgender Community Center, NYC Pride, Mr. Murray Hill, Toshi Reagon, Doria Roberts, and the Brown Girls Burlesque Performance Group. Robin has appeared in the Washington Post, NY Post, GO! Magazine, and Time Out New York and works as a college speaker with The Contemporary Issues Agency traveling to college campuses with her talk "Come Out, Stay Out!" which focuses on the joys and challenges of coming out in today's society.

Robin has written 1 article for us.

30 Comments

  2. I take my costume design friends with me for these things so I don’t die between the car and the register.

  3. I definitely have a love-hate relationship with mine 32F’s. Bra’s cost a fortune and it’s hard to find clothes that fit properly but on the other hand- boobs. So you know there are pros and cons.

    • I feel like “on the other hand- boobs.” ought to be tagged at the end of most life complaints.

  4. I had a similar experience. A friend said there’s nothing like getting fitted by a pro. I went to Nordstrom’s, and got the best-fitting bras I’ve had in my life. I’m butch, it wasn’t an issue. She was super polite, funny and helpful.

  5. Also ladies, if you cant get to Iris… dont be afraid to call up your local Macy’s or Nordstrom and ask if they have a Bra Salon (and they will). What they do is set up a 2 hour appointment with their staff who has been trained to help you find the right bra. I do it once every two years, you know… since the 44 D bewbie struggle is real. Its really helpful. Check it out.

    • Whoa, 2hrs is probably more time than I’ve spent in my entire life thinking about bras. It does sounds pretty awesome though!

      • seriously, it can be the greatest thing ever if youre in the right store. sometimes you use all 2 hours, sometimes you dont. but after that time you spend there, you probably wont need another bra for another year or 2.

        they sometimes bring you little snacks and drinks and do nice little events around breast cancer month… and the women ive had have always been down to earth and understanding and sensitive about my being awkward about someone touching my bewbs.

        its great. everyone should have a real, SERIOUS, PROPER Bra fitting at least ONCE in their life.

  6. I would be totally into going to get my boobies fitted if they’d give me things that squish them down just enough to wear men’s shirts better.

    But I mean, pretty sure I’m a small B cup so it’s irrelevant SPORTS BRAS FO’ LIFE, or the 7.99 target t shirt bras.

  7. But what I really want is a sports bra that will squish them down without the uniboob effect. Surely the miracles of modern science can put this in the universe for me.

  8. I totally have that first bra (the nude one) only in black. it was my first properly fitted bra too – and the straps unclip to make a halter or a strapless. When i bought it both the cashier and the sales lady were wearing the same one. bestbraever

  9. I just got my first proper bra fitting today! I LOVE my new bra – it feels a friendly hug around my boobs all the time!

  10. When it comes to bras, I get teased a lot with “what’s the use of you wearing a bra when there’s nothing to cover?”

    But yes it is important to have the right fitting of bras. According to a study I have read somewhere, a whopping 8 out of 10 women are wearing the wrong bra size.

    And there’s a big possibility that I am woman # 1.

  11. Bras. Hate ’em. I’ve been wearing the same old lycra crop top/sports bra things since I was in school. At least 5 years.

    Being fat my boobs are about 54C and the only bras I can find that fit have no wires or support or anything. I know, I bought some once, they are horrible. Or else they are granny style front fasteners cuz they think if you’re fat you can’t fasten a bra. Easy fasten it at the front and swivel.

  12. I really have to recommend the Wizard of Bras in Monrovia, CA. I have a super tiny frame, and I’m pretty much the mutant in the family with size 28FF compared to my all my aunts and cousins who are Bs and Cs. Macy’s and Nordstrom were okay and fit me when I got my first bras, but I grew out of the sizes they had within a year and they kept trying to fit me into a 32D, which was too big and too small at the same time.
    The women at Wizard of Bras fit me properly and were super helpful – since most bras fall off my shoulders and my underbust is actually closer to 27″, they gave me these special handmade bands to hold up the straps and tighten bra to fit. They also do alterations and you can order anything online from them. It is expensive but definitely worth it and you can find almost any type of bra from them, and if they don’t have it, they’ll order it for you.
    http://www.wizardofbras.com/

  13. I love love love bras, if I ever find a girl who shares my affinity for lingerie I will be ecstatic.

  14. If you’re not a fan of being groped by strangers and then feeling obligated to buy a bra, the other thing you can do is go to a Kohl’s or any other store that has a try-on room in the lingerie section. Just grab a bunch of bras that are sort of maybe close to your size (like two cup sizes and two band sizes both above and below what your current bra is) and start trying them on until you find the one that fits best. Then try that size in a bunch of different brands to make sure it wasn’t just one weird style that fit you. (I did this, and it turned out that all the years I’d been wearing a 40C, I should’ve been wearing a 38DD instead.)

    Then go to your local big-box and buy several cheap cotton underwire sports bras in that size.

  15. Our top women’s intimate apparel brands, including Bali, Barely There, Calvin Klein, Chantelle, Goddess, Hanro, Le Mystere, Maidenform, Natori, Olga, Panache, Playtex, Spanx, Vanity Fair and Wacoal. Brassieres are first categorized by size. There are average size bras and then plus size bras and full figure bras. Full figure starts at a D cup size or larger. Plus size starts at a D cup and a 40 band size. Next the construction for cup support is considered: underwire vs. contour vs. soft cup. Finally, bra style should be considered. The following bra types should be considered by all women as they build their brassier wardrobe.

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