Snap to a department store where Karma has taken Amy to torture her to death. I mean “where Karma has taken Amy to watch her try on lingerie.”
Karma: “Does this say virgin, skank or the perfect blend of both?”
Amy: “Okay this just got very real, you’re wearing lingerie.”
Karma says it’s okay if Amy wants to back out, but Amy insists she’s totally still in. Then Karma says they should probably rehearse. Amy looks like she’d probably rather rehearse for the Spoon River Anthology than this situation.
In the dance studio, Lauren and Shane dance around while Pablo talks about the matador and Lauren tells Shane that Pablo is too good for him.
Then Lauren shows off her ridiculous costume and Shane complains that he doesn’t get enough time to shine or a ridiculous costume.
Back at Karma’s house, Amy’s leaving Shane a voicemail about how she’s flipping out about rehearsal because blocking is hard, but Shane’s not picking up the phone! Then Karma shows up in her trenchoat and it turns out Amy’s also wearing a trenchcoat. It’s very Inspector Gadget Chic.
Karma’s got her go-go-gadget choreography all planned out. Like Liam will be here, and then Amy will be there, and then Amy has to stop making jokes because they have to be very convincing lesbian lovers and lesbians NEVER make jokes during sex NOT EVER. The situation will open with Karma undoing Amy’s coat in a manner Karma describes as “sexy like.”
Removing the coat reveals Amy in her flannel boxer shorts and a white tank top, which I personally consider to be totally adorbs but seems to slightly surprise Karma.
Amy: “This seemed authentic.”
Amy awkwardly undoes Karma’s coat as Karma gives her sexy eyes. Beneath the coat is intense black lingerie. Amy likes what she sees and also does not want anyone to know that she likes what she sees, including maybe herself. Karma fixes Amy’s hair, smiles —
Karma: “Mmmm. You smell yummy.”
Amy: “I do?”
Karma: “Chinese food?”
Amy:Â “Oh, I had moo shoo pork for lunch.”
Then Amy’s like, “There’s nothing left to do but kiss!” and then disappoints all of us playing along here at home by smashing her hand over Amy’s face and fake-kissing her.
Karma’s so excitant to lose her V-card and she says she wishes Amy could be there for the big event, which honestly is a super-gay and also weird thing to say? Regardless, Amy’s a bit confused because she thought this was a threesome, so in fact she was intending to “be there,” but Karma explains that she’d assumed Amy would only be there at first and then she would say like, “oh my g-d something terrible happened!” and then leave. Amy tries to play it cool, but she’s clearly disappointed.
Cut to Amy calling Shane in a hot panic, insisting that if there were signs to be read in this situation, the sign Karma is holding up probs says STOP. Then! Amy has a breakthrough while leaving a voicemail:
Amy: “I’m sure if you were here you’d tell me to run right through [the stop sign] because this is my last chance to see if her and I will ever be more than best friends. And I’d roll my eyes and realize…” [has a moment].. “you’re right! It’s time I take my destiny into my own hands. If Karma expects me to leave then I have to get her to want me to stay. Shane thank you! Wherever you are!”
I am REALLY EXCITED TO SEE WHAT THIS MIGHT LOOK LIKE.
Shane is at the Steakhorn Dance Competition wearing a ridiculous outfit. Pablo says it looks matadorable, but Lauren’s pissed and stomps off in a fury.
Pablo tells Shane that the move to Austin has been really hard on Lauren and that this dance is ALL SHE HAS LEFT IN THE WORLD. Besides white cis heterosexual privilege of course.
