Cara’s Chronicle
Cara (Contributing Editor), 24, Jamaica Plain, MA
Tinder is mad shallow. Logistically, there are good things about this. For instance, the barrier to entry is very low (if you have a Facebook profile, merely press one button and it will be Shrinky-Dinked into a Tinder profile), which means it’s easy to technically get started. But, since there’s hardly any room to demonstrate personality or interests or anything more than what Tinder deems “vital stats” (age, gender, location), it’s difficult to actually get started — i.e. difficult to have conversations with people, which is what Tinder supposedly wants you to do. At least when you approach someone cute at a bar, you know that you’re both in the same bar, and then some song is playing or they’re drinking something weird or whatever, and you find a way to strike up a conversation and it works or not. And at least when you’re on OkCupid, even if you pick someone based on a headshot, you can click through and find something to talk with them about (you can also usually tell how invested they are in getting something out of OkCupid, based on how complete their profile is). I ended up talking to most people on Tinder about Tinder.
I feel strange piling such heavy analysis on such a light app. Here are some lists instead.
5 Tinder Highlights
1. Having a really nice, long conversation about snow and museums and lost pens with someone who lives over a hundred miles away from me and who I will probably never meet.
2. That brief second when I thought I had truly matched with Zosia Mamet.
3. Even if you never talk with them, matching with someone actually feels kind of cool. Depending on the day, the coolness amount ranged from “sweet, I just won an arcade game” to “maybe I’m not alone in the world.”
4. Tinder is a great place to practice emoji-trolling.
5. Matching with someone who looked familiar and realizing she’d attended my Autostraddle Holigay Party.
5 Tinder Lowlights
1. Realizing that everyone else in the world ALSO liked Postsecret on Facebook when they were freshmen in high school.
2. Getting caught up in an orgy of left-swiping and accidentally “NOPE”ing someone who I quickly figured out was Mal Blum (SORRY MAL. Can’t wait to meet you at A-Camp.)
3. This:
4. Realizing Zosia was just trying to make me read Glamour and we will never be together.
5. Having a really nice, long conversation about snow and museums and lost pens with someone who lives over a hundred miles away from me and who I will probably never meet.
As Stef pointed out, either the gender settings on the app are flawed or a lot of people don’t know how to use them… I was shown a lot of guys and a fair amount of women who were not interested in women. Although it’s not totally necessary (if you swipe yes on someone and they’re straight, they probably just won’t yes-swipe you back) I found myself drawn to people who were able to make their queerness known. I really hope they fix this function soon, though — it seems really bad that this app, which should easily eliminate some of the invisibility/gaydar problems that plague our community, makes them worse instead.
4Â Ways to Flag on Tinder
1. Like Autostraddle on Facebook. If someone else does, too, it’ll show up in your little mutual “likes” thing and it’s a dead giveaway.
2. Strategic clothing.
3. Girls-holding-hands emoji in profile. You can also just say what/who you’re into — lots of people do — but the emoji is pretty cute.
4. Well-placed references.
Overall, I sense Tinder will work wonders for people in major cities who either are just looking to hook up/widen their social circle/populate parties, or have the time and energy to go on a LOT of dates with total strangers. For everyone else it seems about as effective as going to a queer dance night. But I hope some of you prove me wrong.
Next: BrittaniÂ