Zackary Drucker on “Queenmaker,” Reality TV, and the Challenges of Being a Trans Documentarian
feature image photo by David M. Benett / Contributor via Getty Images
“Oh hi there. I’m Zackary Drucker. I’d like to communicate to you some of my experiences being a real-life, full-time, continuous, self-actualized… person.”
Delve into Zackary Drucker’s extensive body of video art, performance art, and documentary, and you will find the shimmering soul of a singular artist. The pieces may vary in topic and presentation, but they all belong to the same ever-evolving voice.
Whether painted gold while unmummified or — quoted above — introducing a drag performance with the combined cadence of old Hollywood glamor and new Hollywood realtor, Zackary has long been interested in the parody of wealth. To be a woman is, after all, one of the most expensive things a person can do. Our society values a femininity only money can buy — especially if that femininity happens to be attached to a transsexual.
Zackary’s four-part HBO Max doc The Lady and the Dale focused on a trans entrepreneur’s pursuit of the American dream. Now she’s back with a new film, Queenmaker: The Making of an It Girl, that focuses on a very different trans woman and a very different American dream.
Queenmaker tells an Edith Wharton tale set in the other turn of the century. It’s the early aughts, and New York high society is the latest trend. By starting broad before narrowing in on its unlikely protagonist, Queenmaker is a dreamy, sticky, and thoughtful look at a culture of wealth and misogyny that was enviable until it wasn’t.
I talked to Zackary about finding the film in the edit, the ethical challenges of being a trans documentarian, and the female musicians who inspired her youth.
Drew: I want to start by talking about how you first became aware of Morgan and this story.
Zackary: This story came to me. I was finishing The Lady and the Dale in December of 2020 and MRC, the studio behind the film, reached out. They had heard the pitch and were looking for directors. And they came to me because of my personal connection to the material, having been in New York at the time as a young person. I had never heard of Morgan. But Morgan is going to be a big surprise to everyone. Certainly in the story itself, she kind of comes out of left field and steals the film.
Drew: It’s clear from some of the interviews that not all of your subjects knew where the film was going. When you’re approaching an interview how much do you let people in on the overall premise?
Zackary: Well, the premise was evolving. Truly. I knew that Morgan existed, I knew that she was the writer behind one the blogs, but the proportion of the film focusing on Morgan shifted. We had the backdrop: New York, the aughts, Tinsley, Olivia, Kelly Cutrone, the iconoclasts of that era. Morgan was just one part we were playing with.
The untold story behind the film is that we reached out to a lot of socialites and heiresses and other people and they just had no interest in talking to me. (Laughs) It was not an easy yes for a lot of people. They have more to lose than they have to gain putting their stories out there. And they were certainly skeptical that I was a woman named Zackary and that I was a trans person. If we had procured more of those interviews, the proportion of the film may have changed. But Morgan was always there and always game and open-hearted and willing to unpack what that time meant to her. As the door was slammed in my face over and over again by these other people, I was like helloooo this is the story, this is a microcosm of the American dream. Or the myth of the American dream.
Drew: So when you said you were hired because of your personal connection, did you mean your personal connection to this era in New York rather than a trans personal connection?
Zackary: It was probably both. As a filmmaker, it was clear we had an A story and a B story. And this is often the quandary as a storyteller. How do you structure? How do you weave? And ultimately, I think we wove the story really well. All the seeds that are planted in act one have something to do with a later piece in the story. We want the investment to pay off. And Tinsley and Morgan were the investment that paid off. It’s because they were both so willing to interrogate their own histories and go there with me. They could be seen in more complex ways than they had been, and have more control in the ways they’re represented.
Drew: I’m interested in the way Morgan’s transness is a reveal. Was that something that was found in the edit?
Zackary: Yes, it was. There were so many different versions. There were more versions of this film than any other project I’ve worked on. We continued to retool it over and over again. In radical ways. We tried every version.
Drew: What were the discussions around those versions?
Zackary: Do you start with the reveal? Or do you wait? Do you hold it? There was a real process of figuring that out. And we really sat with versions of the film for a long time until we realized that maybe we should try it this other way. It was a storied edit. (laughs) Of all the things I’ve worked on, this one was… storied. That’s the word for it. We were working on it for MRC, and then Hulu came in and there were more cooks in the kitchen. They had their own ideas about what would make the best story. And I was thrilled by that, because my goal is to reach different audiences every time. I want to get our stories out there. We all have to do this simultaneously for the rest of our lives, so I think about it practically. Hulu is a different audience. Hulu is an audience that watches reality television. So we were guided by the executives on how to reach that audience. How do you create a secret piece of trans activism in a story that’s extremely mainstream? (laughs)
Drew: It’s interesting, because it feels like a desire of “the suits” to have a trans reveal, but at the same time it doesn’t feel like any of the story’s integrity or Morgan’s humanity is sacrificed in service of that. It’s well-balanced. But I can definitely see an audience going into it and being totally surprised. As a trans person, I had an idea. I think the narration is a nice touch, because I heard a trans voice and had a guess where it was going to go.
Zackary: There’s a spectrum of legibility. And ultimately, I am always trying to speak to you, to my enabling audience, to the people who have the most advanced level of understanding. And, besides, the more specific you are, the more universal it becomes. I also want to create something that has enough layers in meaning that people can watch it again and get new things out of it.
Drew: Were there versions where you covered more of Morgan’s transition? Because that was something that was really interesting to me. You portray her life pre-transition and you portray her life now but you don’t get into the transition story.
Zackary: We did. We definitely did. There was a version that started with her transition. The version that we sat with the longest was beautiful steadicam footage of her checking into a doctor’s office to have a gender related surgery. It wasn’t about the surgery she was having, it was just her name and all the questions she was asked and her answering in really direct ways. It told you everything. It told you her name is Morgan Olivia Rose, that her legal name is James Kurisunkal, that she was a writer in New York. She tells this version of her story, and that was how we started. We said this is a trans person, this is who is at the center of the film, and then she drifts off into general anesthesia and it kind of brings you into the story. That was one version.
There’s a challenge as a storyteller. In the real world, if someone changes their name and their pronouns, you just refer to them always as that. But how do you tell something chronologically and still respect someone’s identity? There are nuances with Morgan’s story because many of the people who are referring to her are not in her life and don’t know that she’s trans. You have people still referring back and as a documentarian you’re not going to interject and correct them. It’s a very interesting position to be in as a trans creator with these stories that have not been told yet, figuring out how you do this in a way that doesn’t exploit or sensationalize somebody’s transness, but is still something everybody can understand.
Drew: Speaking of ethical dilemmas in documentary, I want to talk about the moment when you appear on camera to talk to Morgan. Obviously, as a filmmaker, a moment that raw is gold. But, after the fact, do you show a moment like that to Morgan and ask for explicit permission to include it? Or once the camera is rolling does everything feel like fair game?
Zackary: That’s something else that was in other versions of the film — conspiratorial conversations between Morgan and I about what she wanted to say and how she wanted to say it. There’s a version where we included some of our Zoom conversations where we’re collaborating. Because, for me, it’s always a collaboration with my subjects and my editor. There wasn’t anything on camera that we hadn’t already talked about.
That moment where I step in reveals how the toxicity of that misogynistic culture manifested internally for Morgan. You realize the self-talk that she learned from worshiping that culture had a deteriorating effect on herself. It’s very palpable in the women who I talked to. Even Tinsley would surprise me with things she would say, self-hating things. And I was just like, wow, that’s how you see yourself? It’s surprising sometimes. Like she’s the most beautiful woman with everything she ever wanted and still has a very pejorative way of seeing herself.
Drew: Do you watch reality TV? Is reality TV something you participate in as a viewer?
Zackary: No.
Drew: (laughs)
Zackary: (laughs) There are reality shows that I have watched and loved. I loved Small Town Security. But ultimately no. Because I’ve been a subject in reality shows, and I know how produced they are. There are writers on reality shows! They write the story and then you’re just a pawn in the story. Reality shows are very produced. They’re also listening to everything you say even when there’s not a camera on you and you’re just having an aside with somebody. They’re listening and taking notes and then a producer is reading it.
Drew: Do you think of it as like bad documentary filmmaking or do you see it as a whole separate genre?
Zackary: I have so much respect for the crews behind reality television. They work around the clock. They’re non-unionized labor, so there’s no limit to what they are asked to do. They are the hardest hustlers I have ever known in production. I want to say that. Production assistants, crews, anyone who works on a reality show is hardcore in a way that makes documentary look high-falutin. But it’s all a spectrum. Compared to scripted, documentary is very scrappy and very DIY. So I don’t want to reinforce the way I delineate between reality and doc. It’s just that one is usually much more manipulated and produced.
Drew: How do you feel your early experimental work influences your current documentary work?
Zackary: I approach all these works as an artist and a storyteller. I think as a young artist, I just never thought that I could exist in a mainstream area of culture. But I was like, okay, there are weirdos in the art world and that’s a place where I can get a job.
Drew: (laughs)
Zackary: You know?
Drew: Yeah.
Zackary: Then Transparent changed that. It was really the first show where somebody was like, let’s invite trans folks into this process as more than a consultant who comes on-set for a day, talks to an actor for a day, and then shows up for the premiere. That was the standard before. I’ve lived in LA for 18 years. There was no respect for us. Trans people were always associated with the underground world.
I think Queenmaker more than anything encapsulates my touch as an artist. Especially in the reenactments we do with Morgan. This is my third collaboration with Awesome + Modest, artist friends of mine. They always create a world that’s amazing but we really went ham on this. We were like let’s be weird, let’s make this look like early internet art from Paper Rad, this art collective out of Rhode Island in the aughts that were like so hot, or Assume Vivid Astrofocus, this other collective of artists that were creating interesting work. So all of that comes into play in creating a visual world.
I also never want to do the same thing twice. I think focusing the camera on me and my relationships as a young person was a really helpful way to construct an identity. And now I’ve expanded the view.
Drew: When you were a teenager, who were your models of femininity? Who did you look to the way Morgan looked to this New York elite?
Zackary: Truly, it was musicians. It was Ani DiFranco, Kathleen Hanna, Tori Amos. It was much more…
Drew: Lilith Fair.
Zackary: Oh yeah. I went to the first Lilith Fair. I was more counter-culture. By the time I moved to New York and was witnessing that culture of white, wealthy women, it was not my thing. I was not interested. I had a very critical understanding of class and equity. I was in college! I was steeped in theory.
Drew: (laughs)
Zackary: You know what I mean? I was like, what are these people participating in?
Queer TV Creatives Share How You Can Support the Writers Strike
Genaro Molina / Los Angeles Times via Getty Images
Here are two solid facts about Autostraddle readers and writers: 1) We love our TV shows and movies, and have often found both community and ourselves in stories in ways that we’ve never experienced in real life. Or, in ways that gave us the courage and templates to see seek similar real-life experiences. 2) We support workers and their rights, and will always side with them over major corporations. And so, of course, we are fully behind the 11,500 members of the Writer’s Guild of America who went on strike after the Alliance of Motion Picture and Television Producers failed to offer a new, fair contract to WGA members by the May 1, 2023 deadline. You’re probably wondering what the heck is actually happening, how it will affect your favorite shows, and what you can do to help. Don’t worry, we’ve got you covered!
The Writer’s Strike, Explained
https://twitter.com/ashleyn1cole/status/1653430524193701888
Despite the obfuscation from studios, networks, and streamers — like Netflix, Amazon, Apple, Disney, Discovery-Warner, NBC Universal, Paramount, and Sony — as well as general anti-worker dweebs, the writer’s strike really isn’t that complicated. What’s happening in Hollywood is what’s happening everywhere in the United States: Major corporations are making billions and billions of dollars off the labor of workers while refusing to pay them a living wage.
They’re doing it by refusing to negotiate a fair royalty system for streaming TV; by building “mini” writers rooms outside the negotiated structure, which has created a gig economy inside the unionized industry and left showrunners without fully staffed rooms; by stalling on regulating the use of AI in the creation process; by refusing Minimum Basic Agreement payments for full TV seasons; and by not engaging in good faith conversations about pensions and health plans. The contracts are shorter than ever, resulting in pay that is lower than ever, while the workload is more intense than ever. Major players like Ryan Murphy, Shonda Rhimes, and Greg Berlanti rake in multi-million dollar deals, and C-suite execs bring home higher salaries than ever, but the average TV and film writer is struggling to pull down an average working class income, much less build a career in the industry. Writer pay has, when adjusted for inflation, fallen 23% in the last ten years.
It’s particularly maddening considering the fact that without writers, there would be no scripted TV or movies. Writers are the only generative piece of the Hollywood puzzle, the only ones who actually create the things that get made and sold. Without writers, actors would have nothing to act, producers would have nothing to produce, directors would have nothing to direct, editors would have nothing to edit, and these studios wouldn’t have anything to build their multi-billion dollar companies on. Without the labor of writers, Hollywood, plainly, would not exist.
98.4 percent of WGA members voted to approve the demands that were taken to the AMPTP.
How Will the Writer’s Strike Affect New TV?
https://twitter.com/jameyjean/status/1653547747499462656
Late night TV will be going dark immediately, followed shortly by Saturday Night Live and daytime television. Your favorite shows have already been affected. The Yellowjackets writers room came together for a single day before the strike began. Abbott Elementary, which was supposed to get back to the writers room this week, won’t begin work until a fair contract is negotiated. In fact, most non-streaming shows begin the writing process during the summer, for seasons that begin in the fall. That’s Grey’s Anatomy, Station 19, 9-1-1, All American, Fantasy Island, NCIS Hawaii, etc.
For streamers, it’s a little different. For one thing, we don’t know how many shows each one has in the pipeline. However, unless they’re in post-production, they’re not going to get made. Even streaming shows that have full series scripts won’t be able to film without writers on hand for re-writes of dialogue or even full scenes. The same goes for films that have already bought scripts for production. Streamers will hold up longer, for sure, but they’re under immense pressure from Wall Street to get this taken care of. There’s no profit without writers and there’s no patience on Wall Street for no profits.
The last writers strike, in 2007, lasted 100 days and cost Hollywood an estimated $2.1 billion. Experts guess this strike will last at least two months.
How to Support the Writers Strike
https://twitter.com/kelleent/status/1653538083533643776
I reached out to loads of queer TV writers to ask how we can support them during the strike because we want to be active participants in helping them get the contracts they deserve.
“When workers have to fight for a living wage, people get lost along the way. We’ve already lost too many LGBTQ, PoC, and disabled writers on the path that the studios have taken us down and we are fighting so we won’t lose more over not being paid fairly,” Abbott Elementary writer and WGA captain Brittani Nichols told me. “The best way to support our fight is to have a basic knowledge of our issues so that you won’t be swayed by the misinformation the studios will be pumping out to turn people against us. If you’re in a city with a picket line, we’d love to have people stand with us in solidarity.”
Daphne Miles, who has written for Batwoman, Legends of Tomorrow, and The Vampire Diaries, agrees. “One of the main ways people can support us writers in the strike (that none of us wanted!) is legitimately just being vocal and LOUD with your support,” she said. “There is bound to be a lot of mixed messaging and skewing facts to make us look like the bad guys, but it’s important to look at the SOURCE of what you are reading. Listen to WGA members, listen to the writers on the front lines who cannot pay their bills, but are still trying to make this industry sustainable not only for ourselves, but future generations of writers.”
The hashtag you’re looking for on Twitter is #WGAstrong — but that’s not the only place to get reliable information. Brittani has already started a Room Fits Instagram for writers on the picket line. Fashion and facts! And, of course, we’ll be following the strike closely and bringing you information in our weekly Pop Culture Fix and Also.Also.Also news round-ups.
“And of course,” Brittani asked me to remind you before signing off to head to the picket line, “don’t scab!”
Ari Notartomaso on “Rise of the Pink Ladies,” Stage Kisses, and This Week’s Gay Episode
This week’s episode of Grease: Rise of the Pink Ladies combined three mainstays of queerness: Halloween, theatre kids, and first kisses. The song “Merely Players” finds reluctant theatre kid Cynthia practicing a kiss with serious theatre kid Lydia. All alone at a Halloween party, they enemies to lovers their way to a musical montage of Hollywood iconography. But as the song says, “Hollywood has no idea.”
When I was a kid, I knew I couldn’t express my desire to be a girl. But I could express my desire to be a T-Bird. Like many little lesbians, Grease’s over-the-top gender performances and really cool jackets resonated with something deep within me. That’s why it’s so exciting to see a character like Cynthia put the T in T-Bird and queer the Pink “Ladies.”
Cynthia is played by Ari Notartomaso, who injects Cynthia with goofiness and a deep well of feeling. Whether performing this love duet or the “Grease Lightning”-inspired “New Cool,” Ari’s stellar voice gives Cynthia the emotional range 1950s society would rather squash.
I talked to Ari about queer history, their own first stage kiss, and this week’s very gay episode.
Drew: I want to start by asking, what’s your personal connection to Grease?
Ari: (laughs) It’s funny, because I never really remember having watched Grease. But it must have been in the water, because growing up I did know all the lyrics to all the songs.
Drew: Were you a musical person in general?
Ari: Oh yeah. I’ve been in musicals since I was six, and I went to college for musical theatre.
Drew: Six! As a teenager, were you similar to Cynthia?
Ari: Cynthia is very begrudgingly a theatre kid. I was not. I was very enthusiastic about being a theatre kid.
Drew: (laughs)
Ari: People used to say that I was a bit more chill than a normal theatre kid. I would say I was just socially anxious. But people said I was chill, and I felt good about that, proud to not be a loud theatre kid. But… I am! That is who I really am and I think that’s true of Cynthia, too. For both of us, theatre acts as a refuge. Being able to play a character and explore gender and sexuality and what it might feel like to be a different person. And for me, my theatre friends were who I could talk to about sexuality and gender.
Drew: Were there characters that felt like oh that is my gender?
Ari: Ooooo. You know, I think Peter Pan was the first time that I was like that. When I was little, I loved the live action Peter Pan movie. I remember being drawn to this small blonde person who is sort of outside the toxic masculinity expectations of a human being. I very heavily identified with that. And also, he loves Wendy. So that was another part of it. And when I was like, “I want to play Peter Pan!” no one batted an eye. They were like that’s a totally normal thing for a small blonde musical theatre girl to say. But secretly, I was a transmasc nonbinary lesbian wanting to play Peter Pan for a different set of reasons.
Drew: What was the audition process like for Rise of the Pink Ladies?
Ari: It started off pretty normal for most auditions during the pandemic. I graduated in the year of our lord 2020.
Drew: Oh God.
Ari: Yeah, so I was used to self-taping. But I was doing a reading out in New Jersey and I didn’t have a reader, so I sent in a self-tape where I just left space for the scene partner that didn’t exist and then later voice-overed the other lines into the tape. Then I forgot about it for a few weeks until I got a call from my agent telling me they wanted to see me for a callback. We had another set of a few callbacks and did a bunch of songs that our songwriter Justin Tranter and their team had written. The entire process was over Zoom. And then we left to film in Vancouver like a month and a half after we found out we got it.
Drew: When you send in tapes, you’re able to just not think about it? You’re able to let go in that way?
Ari: Ideally.
Drew: (laughs)
Ari: I would say most of the time. Most of the time, when I get an audition, I’ll find a way to connect with the character and then try to just love doing the self-tape. I’ve gotten better at that over the past few years. Initially, when I didn’t get something, I’d be heartbroken. There have definitely been a few times when I really identified with the character and it felt really special to me, and when I didn’t get the role I felt devastated. But most of the time it’s just like, oh it would be cool if I booked that, it would be really fun, and then I just try to forget about it and have a life outside of my work.
Drew: That is really impressive.
Once you booked the role, did you do research about queer people from the time period?
Ari: Yeah! I had a few conversations with folks who were teenagers in the 1950s.
Drew: Oh wow!
Ari: It was really enlightening to me. Because growing up I didn’t have much access to anyone that age who was queer. My dad is gay, and I did know a couple of lesbians, but when I was young I didn’t have a connection to anyone over the age of about 40. Like I didn’t know anyone older than my parents who was queer. So I had to do some digging, ask around. Our showrunner Annabel Oakes put me in touch with somebody. And the conversations I had were honestly really surprising. There were people who had relationships, had girlfriends, in high school. Then, of course, some people didn’t know until much later in life. There was a widespread range of experiences.
For both of us, theatre acts as a refuge. Being able to play a character and explore gender and sexuality and what it might feel like to be a different person. And for me, my theatre friends were who I could talk to about sexuality and gender.
Drew: I do think there’s a temptation sometimes to view our history in a way that’s linear. To view queer life before the last couple decades only as torture. And so much of that is because of the stories that were allowed to be told in the mainstream about queer people. It’s interesting to hear you were able to talk to people with more varied experiences.
Ari: One of the women told me that she feels bad for me and a lot of other young people now who grow up with a lot of explicit messaging that being gay is bad and against God. Especially with the internet, it’s really hard to not know that people hate us and want us to not exist. But for her, there wasn’t any context at all, positive or negative. There was just a feeling that it was something that couldn’t be shared, but not something that was necessarily evil or shameful. That wasn’t everyone’s experience, of course, but I did find that really interesting.
Drew: Yeah that really highlights the complexities of visibility.
Do you mind talking about your dad being gay and how that impacted your experience?
Ari: (laughs) Yeah! My dad is the best dad ever. I feel like I can say that with no reservations. I have the best dad in the world. My mom and him were together for decades, had me, and then got a divorce within six years. Pretty immediately after that, he came out. When I was eight years old, with pretty much no concept of sexuality, I didn’t really understand what that meant. It wasn’t until a few years later when I was like, “Oh my dad is gay in that way! That’s what that means!”
It took a long time for me to come out to him. I knew that I was queer, I knew that I was gay, I knew we were the same in that way, so if I told him he’d be really supportive and understanding and validate how I was feeling. And that was the last thing I wanted! So it actually took me a long time to share that with him. I wish I had earlier, because now my dad and I are super close and it’s amazing to be able to connect with a parent in that way.
Drew: Wait, why would that validation be the last thing you wanted?
Ari: Because then it would be real!
Drew: Ohhh gotcha, okay that makes sense.
Ari: It’s sad! I mean, I grew up Roman Catholic. I had a lot of shame about my sexuality and felt like it was something to be hidden and forced out of me. I knew that if I told my dad he’d be supportive and love me and I wanted to tell him obviously. But I just wasn’t ready to come out to myself until college which was when I told him. And he was very supportive and loving and amazing about it.
Drew: It’s interesting how even if you have supportive parents or even if you have a gay parent, we still live in the society that we live in.
Ari: Exactly.
Drew: Even though in contemporary language Cynthia is probably also nonbinary, were there challenges in playing a character who is referred to as a girl?
Ari: Yeah, it was definitely challenging. I’m very grateful for the creative team. A number of them are queer, and all of them are really respectful and have done a lot to make sure that there’s a distinction between Cynthia and the other Pink Ladies being girls and me being nonbinary and not a girl. One of the things that was started on set — and actually I think was started by the other Pink Ladies — was that instead of referring to us as the Pink Ladies, we started calling ourselves the Pinks. It was really sweet to know people cared enough to change language on-set in order to make me feel more comfortable. You know, it was challenging when people would come in on the crew and didn’t know. I was definitely misgendered a lot. But having the solidarity there with my coworkers made it a lot less difficult.
Drew: Yeah. I actually know Annabel and love Annabel.
Ari: Oh my God!
Drew: I worked for her on The Edge of Seventeen pilot that she wrote and directed and before that on her website I Heart Female Directors. I adore her. She’s been one of the most supportive people in the industry to me. I think of her as a mentor. And after The Edge of Seventeen wrapped, she took me out to dinner to ask what the experience was like for me on-set. As you were just saying, there are so many people on-set and people’s familiarity with gender and queerness varies. Misgendering is just going to be a part of it. But it was really meaningful to have Annabel ask me what the experience was like and how things could be done better. Just to care enough to check in. Some of it is an inevitability no matter how much the people in charge want to create a good space. There are going to be challenges. But, like with trans life in general, just because these things are inevitable that doesn’t mean they’re easy.
Ari: Totally.
Drew: But I’m glad to hear that there were steps taken to make it a little better.
Ari: I love that you know and love Annabel as much as I do, because she’s so spectacular. You’re right about the inevitability of these challenges as a trans person and a queer person. It continues to suck, and there’s not enough understanding and empathy around that. But what’s great about people like Annabel and other creatives on the show and people who make the world a little bit better is that just because it’s inevitable doesn’t mean they won’t try to make something different. It’s really great when people respond to the inevitability by trying to alleviate at least some of the heartache.
Drew: Yeah it makes a huge difference.
I want to walk through the entire process of filming a couple of these musical numbers, beginning to end. Let’s start with “New Cool.”
Ari: Okay! So we always start by getting a demo that they record in the studio. Then we worked on the dance with Jamal [Jamal Sims, the choreographer] using that demo. After that, we recorded the song in the studio. And then we waited a long time and had a few more rehearsals before filming it. But with other songs, there were times when we’d record a song and just have one or two dance rehearsals all within a couple days before shooting the actual number.
Drew: Oh wow! I guess it makes sense that the songs that were in the pilot had the most prep. And then as the weeks and months of shooting went along the process sped up. Was that how it was for the number from this week? “Merely Players.”
Ari: It was very compressed. We got the song like a week and half in advance, and then a couple days after that I recorded my part and then Niamh [Niamh Wilson who plays Lydia] recorded her part. But we were really busy working on “Pointing Fingers” for episode four, because it’s a group number. So at the end of one of those rehearsals, the Friday before we shot the song on Monday, Niamh and I stayed after and learned the entire dance that evening. We had one more rehearsal the next day where we worked on it with Jennifer Morrison, the director, for maybe 30, 40 minutes to figure out the shots and stuff. And then we literally just did it. It was so quick. But it was very fun. I think that’s where my Penn State musical theatre training really helped.
Drew: It’s so great. Hit me in all the gay musical theatre feelings.
Ari: Aw I’m so glad.
One of the things that was started on set — and actually I think was started by the other Pink Ladies — was that instead of referring to us as the Pink Ladies, we started calling ourselves the Pinks. It was really sweet to know people cared enough to change language on-set in order to make me feel more comfortable.
Drew: And I loved that the different costume changes played with expectations. I think the more obvious approach would’ve been to place you in clear masculine/feminine roles within Hollywood archetypes, but it ends up being more playful than that.
Ari: The costume department was so great. Something I really appreciated is they made sure that I would always have a binder and a sports bra in my trailer so on the day, however I was feeling, I could make that choice privately. And then for this number, we had a lot of explicit conversations about what we felt comfortable with and what we wanted to play around with.
Of course, 1950s lesbian culture had a lot of the butch/femme dynamic, and I love that we get to explore that with Cynthia and Lydia. But I also really loved that in this number when we’re in musical and film mode that there’s a little bit more play. It was so much fun.
Drew: I love to hear that about the costuming department because costuming is something else that can be really fraught for trans actors and queer actors in general.
Ari: Totally.
Drew: I think they did such a good job with Cynthia, finding the balance between having her in clothes she’d have to wear but in a way that feels true to her. It never feels like she’s femmed up.
Ari: Yeah! We made a closet for Cynthia of all the different clothes she would have. And as we went on, we decided that she has to wear skirts for school but as soon as she leaves school she’s putting on pants. As soon as there’s not a dress code, she’s changing. And then we had conversations about how Cynthia would wear her wardrobe. Would she button this? Would she tuck in that? Would she wear a t-shirt underneath the button-up? That was something that felt very Cynthia and also very me.
Usually with costuming, I’m a little like whatever. I’ll just give up. But then with this show, they put so much effort into having conversations with all of us about how we felt comfortable and what our characters would wear.
Drew: You brought up butch/femme dynamics in lesbian culture at the time. Before doing prep for the show, was queer history something that was important to you?
Ari: Yeah, I mean, I came out as bi in high school, and I didn’t really know there was any kind of expression I could have beyond being a cis woman. I didn’t realize there were any options for me. So I was like obviously I’m femme because that’s the gender identity that was forced on me since I was born. Then when I got to musical theatre school, I think they did a pretty good job of telling us we didn’t have to wear jewel-toned dresses in order to get jobs. But I always found I got the most reception whenever I performed cis womanhood. I’d get the most roles that way, and people would tell me I would be successful more when I presented that way.
It wasn’t until the pandemic when everything was stopped. I mean, I’d been performing almost every single day since I was six years old. I was constantly in production after production. Then the pandemic happened, and I didn’t have anyone to perform for. I wasn’t on stage. I didn’t have anyone around me except for my dad, who I knew would accept and love me no matter what. And that’s when I started exploring my own butchness and gender fluidity. I also had a girlfriend during the pandemic who was super femme, and so that butch/femme dynamic came about sort of naturally, and that’s when I started learning about the history surrounding it. But then my current partner who I’ve been with for two years is also butch, so now there’s the butch4butch dynamic in our relationship that I love so much. But the butch/femme dynamic and the exploration of gender identity within lesbianism was something that was so freeing for me coming out and still continues to be. And I know that’s true for a lot of people, including some of the people I talked to, and probably including Cynthia and Lydia.
Drew: It’s something I care a lot about, because I think sometimes contemporary conversations can be attached to a limited idea of what certain labels mean. And I love the fact that lesbian history has always encompassed lots of different genders and lots of different sexualities and that it’s never meant cis women who only love cis women. That’s such a narrow view of lesbianism and the history of lesbianism.
Ari: Yes! Totally! It’s so varied. And honestly, that’s why I’m not very precious about people interpreting Cynthia’s experience of gender loosely. Especially since Cynthia doesn’t have as many labels to identify herself with in the 1950s and also because Cynthia does not exist in real life and is not a real human being—
Drew: (laughs)
Ari: (laughs) I’m so happy when I see online that queer people are interpreting Cynthia’s gender in different ways. There are some people who see Cynthia’s experience as a trans man and others who see her as a cis butch lesbian and others who see her as a gender-nonconforming super fluid person. And I love that about Cynthia. The 1950s were obviously really painful for basically every single human being but at least in the context of the show there’s a bit more openness so people can identify with this character and put their own labels onto Cynthia.
Drew: The last thing I’m going to ask you about because of the context of “Merely Players” is what was your first stage kiss like? And what was your first gay stage kiss like?
Ari: Oh my God! This is so funny. Like me personally?
Drew: Yeah!
Ari: My first stage kiss was with the boy who became my first boyfriend. Who I was with for FIVE YEARS. We were together all through high school and into college. He was my best friend, and I really don’t regret that relationship. I’m gay, obviously, so there was a lot missing, but he’s a very nice person.
But it’s weird! My first kiss was in a rehearsal room in front of people. It’s like really weird to have that public experience. Obviously for Cynthia it’s a more private moment which is good.
Drew: Wait, what was the show?
Ari: Oh! It was A Funny Thing Happened On the Way to the Forum.
Drew: Incredible.
Ari: I played Philia, the little, happy innocent one. That was my first big role too. As a 12 year old.
Drew: You were 12!
Ari: I was 12.
Drew: Okay and then what was your first gay stage kiss?
Ari: Well, I played Drood in college. That character is a man but it was an explicitly lesbian dynamic on stage. And then my first real gay kiss was January 1, 2020. As the ball dropped some girl came up to me and was like, “You’re super cute. Can I kiss you?” and I was like, “Please!”
Drew: (laughs) You’re like, “Yes, let’s go into this new year!”
Ari: (laughs) Exactly! A perfect way to start the year! Everything is going to be great in 2020! Spoiler alert: it wasn’t.
Drew: No, but that is a great first gay kiss. A New Year’s kiss? That’s some movie magic, that’s some Rise of the Pink Ladies magic.
Ari: It really was. And then, in classic lesbian fashion, that person disappeared and I have not spoken to them since. But there was this other girl who I’d been on a date with a few weeks earlier. I walked into a gay bar later in the evening — as you do — and I saw her there. And that was the first time I ever hooked up with a woman.
Drew: Wow.
Ari: It was a very lovely way to begin the new year. Then later that year I came out fully. And that was just the beginning.
Who Is the Antler Queen on Yellowjackets?
Yellowjackets is on a brief hiatus and will be back next week, so because I don’t have a recap to serve you today, I thought we’d try something else fun and play a game of: WHO IS THE ANTLER QUEEN?
By the end of last season, I was pretty convinced — as a lot of us were — that Lottie is the Antler Queen, but I’ve become less sure of this conviction as season two has unfolded. I think a lot of different arguments could be made as to the truth behind the Antler Queen veil, and I have accordingly put on my high school debate team hat to try to make several different cases at once. Please jump into the comments with any additional evidence you would like to supply for any of the below theories OR if you have a different theory altogether.
Before we jump into it, I do want to note: I indeed find it very fun to speculate, theorize, and analyze when it comes to this show, because it’s one that revels in ambivalence and as a result lends itself to many different readings. However! I also don’t love thinking of this show as a direct puzzle box to be solved. I don’t think all of its questions are answerable. The Game of Thrones-ification of viewing television through a lens of constant fan theories can be exhausting. I think both things can be true though: We can have fun discussing all these different possibilities together, and we can also just sort of go with the flow, letting the stories unfold in a way that’s complex, nuanced, and even a bit uncertain. I don’t know that I ever actually want to know who the Antler Queen is, something I’ll get into with the final theory presented here. Let’s go!
Who Is the Antler Queen: A Case for Lottie
Lottie as the Antler Queen has been one of the most popular theories since the second half of Yellowjackets season one. The first visual clue that this could be the case came when a shot in the cabin framed Lottie between a set of antlers hung on the wall. Omg this show’s coloring is often SO DARK, but here’s a slightly brightened screenshot of that moment:
More overtly, in “Doomcoming,” Lottie is seen placing a crown of antlers on her head after everyone’s mushroom trip turns into a Dionysus swirl of sex, violence, and group-mania.
But beyond these visual suggestions, Lottie makes sense as a cannibal cult leader. She has a Cassandra-esque quality in the first season, foretelling certain events but doubted by the others. By the end of the season, the group has begun to divide into two camps: those who do believe Lottie has some sort of mystical connection to the wilderness and those who do not. After she singlehandedly kills a bear and then offers its heart on an altar, it seems more than plausible that we’re watching the beginning of an ascension.
By the time we meet Adult Lottie in season two, the case for Lottie as Antler Queen firms up even more due to her status as the leader of an ~intentional community~ in the woods. Nat clocks her cult leader vibes right away. After Lottie gives her a tour of the compound’s bee colony, she tells Nat about about how queen bees will sting all the other potential queens to death. “I can see why you like them,” Nat replies. We also see Adult Lottie see her own shadow as the Antler Queen’s shadow when Nat is resting her head in her lap after their EMDR session. Tellingly, Lottie also seems scared of this shadow — is she scared of herself or someone else?
Still, even though a lot of signs indicate Lottie could be the Antler Queen, the more we’ve gotten to know TEEN Lottie in season two, the more I have doubts. She’s mostly out in the woods doing meditation circles and mindfulness exercises. She doesn’t know what she’s doing more than anyone else, and she also was forced to quit her anti-psychotics cold turkey, which the other Yellowjackets don’t know about but which could explain some of her behaviors. Finding out Adult Lottie does not give any credence to her visions also signals a potential fracture in this theory.
Who Is the Antler Queen: A Case for Shauna
My Case for Shauna rests entirely on two things: her status as the distributor of food as a teen and her hunger for murder and uncertainty as an adult. Shauna holds a certain power in the wilderness because she holds the knife. Nat is the hunter, but Shauna is the butcher. She rations food for the group and has control over when and how much they eat. This does call to mind the image of the Antler Queen in the pilot gesturing to the others that it’s time to feast. Shauna is also the person who gives everyone the initial permission to feast on Jackie, which also evokes the Antler Queen’s little head nod gesture in the pilot. Shauna would best know how to slice and dice a human body. During “Doomcoming,” she comes very, very close to slitting Travis’ throat after hallucinating him as a stag.
As for Adult Shauna, well, I feel compelled to just re-transcribe her entire monologue from season two’s “Digestif”:
Have you ever peeled the skin off a human corpse? It’s not as easy as you might think. It’s really, uh, stuck on us — skin. You have to roll back just the edges of it so you can get a good enough grip to really pull. Which again, isn’t easy. People are always so sweaty when you kill them, just like really oily. There’s a look people get when they realize they’re going to die. It’s that one. My hand wasn’t shaking because I was afraid. It was shaking because of how badly I wanted to do this.
Um!!! Not only does she say All That, but a lot of helpful commenters on my recaps pointed out that when Shauna returns to her minivan after almost killing this man, her stomach literally rumbles. She was hungry for this, and she leaves unsatisfied.
Even more clearly than I can see Shauna as Antler Queen, I can see her as being the Antler Queen’s right-hand soldier. Perhaps she was the one who takes a blade to pit girl’s throat in the pilot but wasn’t the one in the antler crown.
Who Is the Antler Queen: A Case for Other Taissa
As we know, Taissa enters a dissociative state while sleepwalking, having whole conversations with others and doing things she later has no recollection of. In season two, her sleepwalking as both a teen and an adult has gotten worse, and we see just how fractured it makes her, her own reflection sometimes turning against her. I personally think this is a symptom of unresolved trauma — perhaps even something that predates the plane crash but is then activated/heightened by it.
In any case, it’s extremely plausible that Taissa would take on an Antler Queen role while in this Other Taissa state. Commenters also posited the theory that Other Taissa is the “friend” Javi references when he finally speaks to Ben after reappearing. She could have been helping him hide and encouraging him not to reveal himself as Other Taissa without Taissa fully knowing, which might also explain how Taissa was eventually able to locate him.
I have personally avoided using language like “evil twin” to describe Other Taissa. Even though I think Other Taissa often sabotages Taissa, I don’t think it’s as simple as a good vs. evil dynamic. On this note, I’ve increasingly come to see the Antler Queen as a much more complicated figure or symbol as the show has unraveled.
If we interpret Other Taissa as being the main force behind Taissa’s decision to stay in the campaign in season one (which is likely, given the presence of the eyeless man in that press conference scene), then it’s easy to draw a line between Other Taissa’s hunger for power and the Antler Queen. What is the Antler Queen if not the state senator of the wilderness, hMMM???
Who Is the Antler Queen: A Case for Nat
This felt like my biggest stretch — until recently. Prior to recent episodes, all I really had to go off of in terms of Nat being the Antler Queen were the facts of her power status as the group’s hunter, her struggle with addiction later in life would could be a psychological response and a desire to distance her present self from her past self, and something Shauna and Taissa agreed upon in season one: They say they owe Nat their lives. Is this lingering fealty?
But something about Nat’s EMDR session with Lottie in “Two Truths and a Lie” signaled potential connection to the Antler Queen. Nat reveals to Lottie her memories of the last time she saw Travis. She overdosed, and while on the brink of death, she saw a vision of the plane after the crash — only no one survived. Burnt corpses line the plane, and who should enter but none other than the Antler Queen. In the flashback, as Nat is regaining consciousness but still very out of it, things go in and out of focus, and there are a couple strange flashes of images that are impossible to really register if you’re watching the show in real time. In fact, it took me over five minutes to actually screenshot one of these flashes because it’s so quick, but here it is:
And look, it’s not like she’s wearing a full on antler crown here or anything, but her pupils are completely dilated, and doesn’t that netting behind her look familiar? Does it not look like the Antler Queen’s drapey veil thing she wears over her face? It looks like it could be an early prototype of the Antler Queen’s garb.
(BTW, as far as the hair woven into the Antler Queen’s gown goes, I don’t think that’s the Antler Queen’s hair but rather the hair of hunted victims.)
Who Is the Antler Queen: A Case for Jackie
Okay, yes, we know Jackie is DEAD dead. This theory will tie a bit into my final and favorite one, but it basically posits that the Antler Queen is a group hallucination. I became immersed in this theory after a friend texted it to me and linked the Vanity Fair article that digs into it. The piece takes us all the way back to the first episode, when Coach Martinez said to Jackie about her role as team captain: “When things get tough out there, those girls are going to need someone to guide them.”
I first interpreted this as a foolish inflation of Jackie’s power. Jackie always seemed more powerful in theory than in practice. Like, I’m not blaming her for her own death, but she was godawful at survival in the wilderness. But what if Coach Martinez’s words were actually prescient? What if Jackie’s death immortalizes her as a sort of divine and deranged compass for the Yellowjackets to follow? After her body is inadvertently cooked as a result of the girls building more of a barbecue grill than a pyre, Shauna tells the others “she wants us to,” essentially giving Jackie power and authority over them even in her death. If they construct in their minds a force that is guiding them and give it shape, it allows them to cling to something in their survival — and to potentially place the blame of any questionable actions they take elsewhere. You know like, “Sorry I slit your throat; my dead best friend made me do it.”
Yes, we “see” an Antler Queen in the show’s pilot, but it wouldn’t be the first time we see something from the characters’ perspective that might not really be there.
Also, with the exception of Ben and Javi, the whole group has now consumed parts of Jackie, which means she’s inside all of them, which connects this theory to this last (and imo very likely!) one…
Who Is the Antler Queen: A Case for EVERYONE/NO ONE
This has become hands down my favorite theory ever since season two started making me doubt all prior Antler Queen theories. Early in season two, when I realized cases could convincingly be made for multiple characters, I shifted the way I thought of the Antler Queen. It’s important to remember that this “Antler Queen” term was invented by fans and not introduced textually. Giving her a name made her more real and therefore resulted in a bunch of theorizing about WHO she could be. And even though this entire piece has been an exercise in indulging that instinct, I think it’s much more plausible that the Antler Queen is no one at all. She is all of them; their fears, their darkest desires, their pain, their detachment from reality when their reality becomes too terrible to bear.
While creators Ashley Lyle and Bart Nickerson have made it very clear that Yellowjackets was never meant to be an adaptation of Lord of the Flies and is intrinsically different in its approach to storytelling, there are obvious thematic parallels. In the 1954 novel, the stranded boys’ paranoia and distress leads to them mentally inventing a “beast” that represents all their basest impulses. It’s easy to see the Antler Queen as a similar symbol: something that exists in each of the Yellowjackets and is a result of their shared fears but also the feral states they’re transitioning into the longer they’re away from the form and structure of their past lives.
If any of the adult versions of the Yellowjackets were the literal Antler Queen in the wilderness, I think it would have come up — maybe not explicitly but more overtly in the ways they interact with each other now. I think someone would be blamed more for the violence in the woods. Instead, they’re all aligned rather firmly together — not friends exactly but almost like a family that protects its own no matter what. They have mutually assured destruction. If the Antler Queen were a more abstract figure and more symbolic, then it’s possible their memories of this presence are hazy, contradictory, confusing. They all would have their own unique relationships to “her.” And it’s possible a lot of the unhealthy patterns they still have as adults is a result of not wanting to look this imagined “beast” in the face, of not wanting to accept what it would mean if she never existed in the first place.
“Two Truths and a Lie” seems to have been a real turning point for this theory, if the comments on the Autostraddle recap are any indication! Between the fact that different folks are making different cases for different individual characters and the fact that a lot of commenters have latched onto this “the Antler Queen is all of them” theory, it indeed seems like the consensus is that this is not a straightforward mystery to be solved but rather a complex tapestry. If it could be any of them, then it is likely it is none of them. Because I also don’t think the show is being purposefully obtuse with this ambiguity. I think the “truth” of the matter is one that’s difficult and uncomfortable. The characters have a hard time seeing the truth, so we do, too. Unspooling endless Antler Queen theories is almost like a viewer coping mechanism, a way to try to make sense of some of these characters’ actions and to absolve them of any potential harm they may have inflicted on each other. But this increasingly does not seem like a show all that interested in drawing lines between good and evil; in fact, it revels in ambivalence even more than Lord of the Flies does.
“Antler Queen” as a term implies an enforced hierarchy or a rule of order, but the show itself has shown that power is in constant flux. In the wilderness, the Yellowjackets have constructed a way of life that doesn’t look at all like the social structures of society (if it did, Coach Ben would have more power). They’re inventing their own societal structures, and the Antler Queen could be a way for them to more easily make impossible choices about who lives and who dies for the good of the group. After all, we’re not out of the winter yet. They’re going to need to find more food. And that might require choices none of them want to make on their own, choices more easily digested if they come from an imagined ruler.
Queer Footballers Dominate Disney+’s “Matildas: The World at Our Feet”
Feature image photo by Zhizhao Wu/Getty Images
Halfway through the first episode of Disney+’s Matildas: The World at Our Feet, my wife walked into the living room and I was crying so hard that she rushed over, wrapped me up in her arms, and demanded to know who had hurt my feelings. I pointed at the TV, which was paused on a shot of the first USWNT vs. Australia friendly from November 2021. My wife squinted at the screen and then looked back at me, still furiously swiping at my tears, and said, “Why are you upset? We won this game 3-0.” But I wasn’t crying because of competition; I was crying because of sportsmanship. Because Disney has released a six-part documentary series following the Matildas, the Australian Women’s National Team, on their quest to win a FIFA Women’s World Cup this July, in their home country, and the whole thing is just so very gay. Because I can’t believe it exists.
Matildas opens on a whole gaggle of little girls playing soccer, running and sliding and striking and diving, hugging and cheering and looking right at the camera saying that when they grow up, they want to be Sam Kerr. And of course they do: she’s one of the greatest soccer players in history, and certainly the greatest Australian soccer player ever (no gender qualifications!). It’s Sam Kerr jerseys and Sam Kerr cheers and fans of all genders and all ages talking about how proud they are that she’s a Matilda. And then we’re in USWNT midfielder Kristie Mewis’ kitchen, where Sam’s making her breakfast because her girlfriend’s out at practice. The two world class athletes have been together for a long time now; even if you don’t watch soccer, you know them as “They’re lesbians, Stacey!” I wondered if Matlidas was going to go there, and they did, without reservation. You get to know the Sam behind the superstar as she sits on the couch beside Kristie and fidgets, while her partner talks about how wonderful she is.
And that’s only the start of it. Over the course of six episodes, Matlidas tackles the triumph of being both a mom and soccer star, focusing on midfielder Tameka Yallop and her wife, former New Zealand star Kirsty Yallop, as they parent their adorable daughter, Harley, during Matildas training camp. But the most emotional gayness comes when forward Emily Gielnik — who has been with her partner, Temica Sayer, for eight years — talks about why she stayed in the closet so long. “My mum being Croatian, being gay was frowned upon,” she explains. “So I never saw how I was going to come out and tell my family. I tried everything to live this lie for years. There was a lot of dark times.” She credits her queer teammates, and the unconditional acceptance they were shown by their straight teammates, for finally giving her the courage to live her truth. “To be honest, if I didn’t have football, I don’t really know what other outlet I would have had. The Matildas is a support system around everyone being equal and open, and I finally realized: you love who you love.”
One of the over-arching themes of Matildas is just how damn proud everyone in Australia is of this team, and how important it is to every woman on the roster to reach as many little girls as possible. Because, as the great Viola Davis says: “You need to see a physical manifestation of your dream!” These Matildas — The Golden Generation, they’re called — grew up without any professional Australian women’s soccer players to root for, and they’re determined to be the heroes they needed as kids. To pave the way for more generations of women athletes.
Matildas: The World at Our Feet is kind of for everyone. Fans who want to get ready for the World Cup, people who like sports, queers parents and queer athletes and queer dreamers, anyone who loves to watch powerful women do their thing, and lovers of love. It doesn’t even matter if the Matildas are your team — because one of the best takeaways is that our team, us queers, we’re the ones who are winning.
Five More Cronenberg Remakes That Should Star Rachel Weisz as a Lesbian
Like many transsexual cinephiles, the works of cishet Canadian genius man David Cronenberg are very important to me. He has spent nearly six decades pushing the cinematic boundaries on relevant trans subject matter such as bodies and desire.
Dead Ringers, his 1988 masterpiece about co-dependent gynecologist twins played by Jeremy Irons, is probably my favorite of his films. So as much as I love Rachel Weisz and lesbians and Rachel Weisz playing lesbians, I went into Alice Birch’s limited series remake with a healthy amount of skepticism.
Well, six deliciously thought-provoking episodes later, I’m happy to echo Kayla’s review that “this series is the gold standard for how gender-swapping adaptations should function.” And it got me thinking: what if other Cronenberg movies were remade with a lesbian Rachel Weisz?
The Fly
Dead Ringers wasn’t the first time Rachel Weisz played a scientist, and it doesn’t have to be her last. What if we turned the male fly of the Vincent Price original and Cronenberg’s perfect remake into a female spider? Imagine Rachel Weisz as a scientist working on a teleportation machine who starts hooking up with a lesbian Geena Davis type aka a Geena Davis type. Rachel says she can’t go out on normal dates because she’s too busy with her experiments. The truth? She’s closeted, and the real experiment is her new lover. Pretty soon she’s combined DNA with a spider after a teleport gone wrong, and now she’s insisting her secret girlfriend bring over men… for dinner. Will the Geena Davis type get trapped in this tangled web or escape before the arachnid transformation is complete?
Videodrome
The movie best known for James Woods pulling a gun out of his Cronenbussy is ripe for re-examination. For one, anything with James Woods is slightly tainted by the presence of… James Woods. But, more importantly, the film’s themes of people being transformed by technology and the human desire to view violence are only more relevant today. This is one of Cronenberg’s most famous films for a reason and, considering its intellectual density and narrative expansiveness, I’m sure there’s more to explore. And, hey, amid all that, why can’t Rachel Weisz spit in more women’s mouths?
A History of Violence
One need only do a double feature of Definitely, Maybe and My Cousin Rachel to understand that Rachel Weisz has range. So much range that I’d totally buy her as a nice lesbian PTA mom who has a secret past of being a hitman. Cronenberg’s 2005 film is noteworthy for being his first collaboration with Viggo Mortensen — it’s also noteworthy for having two very good (and very different) sex scenes. We know how much Rachel Weisz loves a lesbian sex scene, so this seems like an easy sell.
The Brood
A movie about the horrors of motherhood from the perspective of a divorced dad, this early work is one of Cronenberg’s very best. But a remake could use a dash of lesbian Rachel Weisz and two dashes of Detransition, Baby. My pitch is to cast Weisz as Nola, the mother birthing a murderous brood, and then replace the straight dad with a trans lesbian. Motherhood wouldn’t elude her like it does the man in the original, but there’s plenty to explore when it comes to being the mother who cannot give birth.
Fast Company
I wanted to end this list with Crash, another of my Cronenberg faves, but the fact is I can’t think of any way to make that very gay movie even gayer. So how about we stay in the 70s and queer up Cronenberg’s other car movie? A drag racing B-movie without even a touch of horror or gore, Fast Company is an outlier in the Cronenberg canon. So, what if a remake with lesbian Rachel Weisz also incorporated some more of his usual elements? Give me a competitive lesbian lothario racer who can only achieve real pleasure when she’s going 200 miles per hour strapped into a sleek hunk of metal. Excuse me, this is Canadian icon David Cronenberg we’re talking about. 320 kilometers per hour.
What did I miss? Give me your best pitches for Rachel Weisz lesbian Spider (2002).
How Happy Could I Make These Yellowjackets?
Welcome back “How Happy Could I Make…” a semi-regular column wherein I deep dive on a randomly selected group of characters to see if I, one woman with mommy issues, could make them happy. Previous features have covered Iconic Mean Moms of TV and Disney Villains, and this roundup is in some ways a combination of the two! That’s right, it’s time I tackled our beloved Yellowjackets, and asked myself the question on everyone’s lips: Can I single handedly fix their trauma? Let’s find out together! Stingers up!
Other Tai
I will admit her scariness does make her hotter.
Absolutely the fuck not. I do not enjoy surprise wake ups, and being woken up to be led on a spooky walk outside where a man without eyes could appear?? Much like Tai, I have no idea what Other Tai wants, but I am 1,000% certain I simply could not give it to her, no matter how amazing her hair looks! Sorry to this terrifying woman!
Marriage Rating: -1,000,000/10
Natalie
Yes of course I ship Nat/Lottie I have EYES
I do not think it is out of the realm of possibility that Nat and I could have a fun night or something. Maybe even a good brunch! But a regular life? No, I don’t think so. Funnily enough, I think we are too similar!
Sure, I haven’t, you know, been in a plane crash and lived in The Wilderness™ nor do I have that resulting trauma to work through, but Nat and I both tend to withdraw when we need to reach out and ask for help. We’d have a few good times sprinkled with long periods of resentment and lashing out at each other for literally no reason. The good times would be good, I’ll say that. One thing is for sure — we would never run out of eyeliner, and that’s something.
Marriage Rating: 1/10
Misty
She is right about Starlight Express, I’ll give her that
Misty and I would have a gorgeous honeymoon phase bolstered by our love of musicals and general theater kid vibes. But after we saw everything that is currently up on Broadway and argued about Andrew Lloyd Webber (a few hits, too many misses, generally annoying), our gorgeous façade would crack — quickly. First of all, there is a bird in the house. I can’t live with a bird flying willy nilly in my home?? How could you ever sit down comfortably, knowing that at any moment a giant, long living, chatty dinosaur could just soar right in front of you? I am not about that life! And though I think her advice for dealing with cops is perfect, Misty is simply too needy. I would want to be alone one time and…well, we all know how Misty deals with being rejected.
Marriage Rating: 2/10
Shauna
I, too, would look at Callie like this
For the most part, Shauna and I would get along, I think! I have a tendency to be…a bit incurious, at times? Specifically when it comes to wondering about the internal motivations of other people — I’ve got a lot going on in my own head! Which means I would have almost zero questions about anything she wanted to get up to, no matter the time of night. If our minivan was missing and she wanted to get it back, well, go off sis! It’s possible I would bore her, and I know that when Shauna is bored she tends to act out in the worst ways imaginable. And look, kids are hard, I get that, but I cannot take part in raising a daughter with such bummer vibes! On the bright side, I would happily give her a break from cooking! Seems like it would be better for everyone if she took a step back from the stove.
Marriage Rating: 4/10
Taissa
We would go through so much conditioner.
For all the terror I feel watching any episode of Yellowjackets, there is one overpowering thought that I literally cannot help but fixate on, and that is: TAI ARE YOU ACTIVELY SENATOR ELECT RIGHT NOW OR WHAT???????? Girl! GIRL! We have bigger fish to fry! Some version of you has, and I hate to bring this up — killed your dog and made a spooky alter with its ding dang HEAD. Your family is in ruins and you are out here hitch-hiking to your ex’s place courtesy of registered voters??? No ma’am! No you are not! You are calling the outgoing Governor’s Office and you are stepping down! This instant!
…that being said, Tai is so stupidly hot I actually might be able to get over the whole Other Tai thing. And, as much as I need her to take a break from public office, I would be a banging political spouse! My charity lunches would be the hottest ticket in town, I guarantee it. Plus, if the whole elected official thing didn’t work out, the two of us are a dream team for your Mixed Chicks, your Sheas Moisture, etc. We’d never have to buy hair products again! A dream!
Marriage Rating: 6/10
Van
Noted Bill Pullman stan!
Sure, we don’t know a ton about Adult Van as of yet, but we have gleaned some pretty important details. One, her store is called “While You Were Streaming,” which is perfect and the greatest shout out to one of my favorite romantic comedies that is mostly about loneliness. Two, she lives in Oberlin, which is very similar in vibes to the Hudson Valley, where I grew up. Three, she mixes up pop culture metaphors when upset! I do that all the time! I want to ask her opinion on all the great hang out sitcoms of the last 20 years — I bet she loves Cougar Town as much as I do! Would she play Penny Can with me? Sure, she’s got her…stuff from her past, but one can only assume she is ignoring it in favor of getting hyper-invested in pop culture, and that frankly makes her perfect to me!
Marriage Rating: 9/10
Lottie
Sorry to be an online dyke but: MOTHER.
“Christina! She runs a cult! In the woods! How would you survive?!” I know, I can hear you yelling at the screen as you read this. First of all, fine, I am not really into like, ~*~intentional living~*~*~, or heliotrope as a shade of purple, or frankly, living in the woods. Consider this counterpoint: Look at her. I would do quite literally anything she wanted me to do, and for all her…erm, flaws? I do think she might be the only person on earth who could get me to open up! Maybe I don’t need therapy after all, maybe all I need is a sharing circle. Not to mention, I am quite good at making tea to all kinds of exacting specifications. I would move heaven and earth to keep her happy, and all she would have to do is frown a little petulantly and I would be putty in her hands. I mean, her hair alone! Granted, I did once have a dream where in I was brushing Shohreh Aghdashloo’s hair and even though we didn’t speak for the entirety of it, it was top among my hottest dreams. I guess it’s possible I’m “unwell,” but catch me hand washing silk caftans in the river or whatever — my wife needs her outfits!
Marriage Rating: 22/10
I’ll Watch Anything Where Survivors Get Revenge, Make Their Own Justice
I’ll Watch Anything is an Autostraddle TV Team series in which we tell you what type of movies and TV shows we’ll watch, no matter what. This week, A.Tony’s here to tell you why they will watch anything where someone (who by A.Tony’s standards) deserves to get revenge and makes sure they get it.
When I was some younger than middle school age, I was sitting in my grandma’s office in a big red plush recliner watching TV. A commercial for a new movie starring Kimberly Elise and Loretta Devine and Clifton Powell came on. I cannot remember anything else from the commercial except: a young black girl singing a nursery rhyme, Kimberly Elise angry and crying as Clifton Powell apologized for some thing in the past, and best of all, Kimberly in a pink church dress standing in a megachurch all anger and uncontained grief, pointing a small silver gun at Clifton with his hands up in remorse, and then a loud shot, gasps and screams within the megachurch, as the screen goes black.
As we know, cops aren’t going to save anybody and in the case of my communities, they are more likely to kill us than to avenge us. (Though I recognize it as propaganda now, that’s why Law and Order: Special Victims Unit was my SHOW for years: because it functioned in a completely unrealistic world where cops would actually fight to get justice for people like me, for the sexually abused.) People like me are not allowed to have revenge. And media that portrays someone who looks like me, loves like me, presents and moves through life like me, is extremely rare and if I’m reflected it’s more likely in a story about death (not just the final one, but the ones leading up to the grand finale as well) than any kind of life).
Movies that fall under this category for me (off the top of my head) include:
Candyman (I’m a fan of both)
Carrie (OG)
Colombiana
Enough
Eve’s Bayou
Fear Street Trilogy
Halloween Ends
Hush
It: Part One
Jennifer’s Body
John Wick
Mad Max: Fury Road
The Perfect Stranger (Halle Berry’s)
Orphan Black
Piggy
The Purge (OG)
Scream movie series
sweet/vicious (please return to me)
Teeth
The Strays
Us
The aforementioned Woman Thou Art Loosed
“I don’t plan on being a better person. I’m becoming worse everyday.” – Moon Dong Eun
The thing about being a survivor is healing is just really fucking ugly. Every story that tells you different, it’s not that they’re lying, it’s that they are showing you one snippet of not everyone’s journey. True, not every survivor dreams revenge. But it’s also true that some survivors do not have more joy than not, especially since access to resources for proper healing are not equal for everyone. Some people have therapy to ground them, I have Helena’s wings.
“Some hatred resembles longing. It’s impossible to get rid of.” – Moon Dong Eun
One of the only ways I survived a long period of abuse was by imagining a metal baseball bat, all the people who never helped me and God watching, and the inability for cops to get there in time.
“Eye for eye, tooth for tooth, fracture for fracture. The one who inflicted the injury must suffer the same. I don’t know. That sounds too fair to ne.” – Moon Dong Eun
It did not stop the hands. Or the teeth. Or the other teeth. Or the tongue. Or what was scooped out of me. But it got me from one moment to the next.
“The pain, I assure you, will be exquisite.” ~The Man Who Has The Sweets (no I will not write that movie’s name here, thanks).
As of late, The Glory is my strongest obsession and also led me to watching Sympathy for Lady Vengeance (which I’ve only seen titled as Lady Vengeance, a small fact that I can’t help but obsess over) for the first time. One thing I love about The Glory, Sympathy for Lady Vengeance, and The Handmaiden are that revenge isn’t just a group project, its often seen as a right.
So often, revenge stories are seen as John Wick doing all the work himself. And, to be fair, he is taking motherfuckers out left, right, sideways, backwards, and in other dimensions — I will not take that fact away from him. But, so much of what he’s able to do after a certain point, is dependent on others helping him. And that’s something I need as a survivor. The knowledge, the understanding, the belief that I’m not in this alone. I was alone in the abuse. I do not want to be alone in the recovery.
There’s that whole American “pull yourself up by your bootstraps” ideology even in revenge stories, when really, they’re just highlighting one person in order to blur our vision of everyone who gets them there (art imitates life, I guess).
“You think you’re tricking me? You’re the one being tricked.” ~Lady Hideko
I’m also about, the not super haunting type of revenge too. Like, Mean Girls and Do Revenge, where, let’s be honest the person doing the revenge got outed by a popular girl and I wholly support whatever they decide to do to get back at them. Even John Tucker Must Die (which is an incredibly misleading title) was on repeat for at least three years (back when we had cable) because I loved seeing John’s face when he figured everything out. To be honest, that revenge felt like lopsided even to me, but I’m not against lopsided revenge all the time. Gone Girl? Amazing Amy was amazingly wrong BUT I love the ride she takes me on so I’ll allow it.
“There will be no forgiveness and so there will be no glory either.” – Moon Dong Eun
Growing up in both a religious school and a religious family, we’re always told, “Turn the other cheek”. And for the longest time, we weren’t even really allowed to talk about anger. To an extent, we still aren’t. Keeping anger inside you with nowhere to go makes you…dangerous. But in the wrong ways. That danger rarely goes out to the people who deserve it, but can manifest in your closest relationships, how you hold and hurt your body, and even just your ability to make i from one day to the next. Revenge movies gave me a place to be angry and to live and hope in that anger for two hours at a time. I look at how, quite frankly fucked up, I am now. I’m a little terrified of what I may have become if I hadn’t had even that.
The Real L Word Cast: Where Are They Now?
Friends, do you remember? The slouchy beanies, the vests, the forearm tattoos, the creamed corn wrestling, the feather earrings, the clam power, the hated wind, the shower sex, the debs, the cursed strap-on — do you remember The Real L Word? I personally could never forget, because I recapped every episode of this g-dforsaken program when it aired, beginning in 2010 and up until it mercifully concluded in 2012. Not only that, but we made very popular parody videos, featured cast members in our Autostraddle Calendar, and, well, it sure was a weird time to be gay and alive and in your twenties and bopping between New York, Los Angeles, and Oakland!
In the years immediately following the program’s airdates, most of its cast members enjoyed healthy careers as professional lesbians — showing up at parties and Prides as “hosts.” They were primed to become influencers before the term “influencers” even existed and indeed, many of them now are. We’ve also got a lot of babies and real estate licenses!
It’s been over ten years since the final season of this cursed show gave its final bow on Showtime. One thing that’s terrifying for commoner Los Angeles residents is that with enough wealth in this town, you can pretty much look 25 forever and indeed, they all look exactly the same as they did on the show. That aside, however, major changes abound!
The Real L Word cast: Where are they now?
Whitney Mixter
Legendary ladykiller Whitney Mixter was the primary focus of The Real L Word‘s entire run, notorious for her clam power, problematic hairstyle and habit of asking herself questions and then answering them. She dated myriad women who often resembled each other and had a particular amount of drama with Romi in Season One, a side-character who was then upgraded to main cast for the second and third seasons. But of all her many paramours, it was Sada who truly stole Whitney’s heart.
Whitney Mixter and Sada Bettencourt married on the series finale of The Real L Word in 2012 and appeared on Vh1’s Couples Therapy in 2014 to work through the myriad problems that had already threatened the sanctity of their marriage. After their tumultuous ride on Couples Therapy, the couple decamped for the Bay Area to be closer to Sada’s mother, who was ill. While in Oakland, Whitney worked in real estate and Sada began her career as a personal trainer. Following the death of Sada’s mother, they returned to Los Angeles, and in September 2016, Mixter filed for divorce, citing irreconcilable differences. “At the end, I think we just got to a point where it was exhausting, and it was time to call it quits,” Mixter told Go Magazine in 2017.
After returning to Los Angeles, Whitney continued working as a party promoter and doing some acting and production work, as well as moving forward in her real estate career. But, as the erstwhile conceptual leader of a strap-on that squirts sperm into a vagina, Whitney Mixter’s number one life dream was always to have kiddos — so, at the age of 37, she embarked upon her solo motherhood journey.
She gave birth to her first child, Mecca Silas Moon Mixter, in October of 2020 and is currently in a relationship with “heartworker” Nina Grae, who has devoted her life to using her “speaking, written and singing voice to liberate, heal and inspire folks from all walks of life.” Whitney remains pals with many of her Real L Word co-stars, including fan favorite best friend Alyssa.
Sada Simone
Sada has continued offering fitness training as well as working as a hairstylist and makeup artist at Hairbae Beauty Bar. She’s in a relationship with musician Troy Spino. They have one child together, and Sada is currently pregnant with their second.
Romi (Klinger) Imbelli
https://www.instagram.com/p/Cpu-d6Yumlh/?hl=en
Romi had a pretty unforgiving initial journey into the spotlight as a major player on all three seasons of The Real L Word, including her infamous strap-on sex scene with Whitney. She also appeared as an Autostraddle Calendar Girl in December 2010. Romi ended the series by marrying her boyfriend Dusty, legendary composer of the song “Dirty Knees.” The show made it seem like Romi and Dusty tied the knot in Las Vegas on the same day as Whitney and Sada’s ceremony.
By the spring of 2013, Romi and Dusty had separated and divorced. She later married a chef named Charles and had a baby girl, Frankie, with whom she moved to Texas, though she and Charles later divorced. Romi is now a “social media builder,” makeup artist, brand ambassador, and life coach. She hosts a podcast called The Eff It Madres with her best friend Carla M Zuniga. Romi appears to be currently dating filmmaker James Haven, who is Angelina Jolie’s brother! They’ve known each other since Romi was 20 years old.
Nikki & Jill Goldstein-Weiss
Nikki Weiss and Jill Goldstein were planning their wedding for much of the first season, and they indeed married in a private ceremony in Malibu in October 2010, which was featured on the cover of Curve Magazine. Their first son was born on their two-year wedding anniversary in October 2012, and they now have two sons. Nikki beat breast cancer in 2013 and is now an activist for breast cancer awareness. Jill gave birth to their second child, Adler, a few years later. Through Nikki Weiss & Co, Weiss continues to manage leading directors in the feature and commercial world. Jill remains a writer — she does treatments for commercials, music videos, award shows and NBC Universal’s branded entertainment group.
Mikey Koffman
https://www.instagram.com/p/Ck6SUuVvUCT/?hl=en
Iconic LA Fashion Week promoter Mikey Koffman was best known on the program for LA Fashion Week and also for her delightful girlfriend Raquel. These days, Mikey remains the CEO of Endless Road Entertainment, a firm that “leads the way in Creative Event and Video Production and Event Medical Services.” Also Mikey is an EMT? Mikey married their partner Stephanie in November 2022, and she remains pals with Rose Garcia.
Tracy Ryerson & Stamie Karakasidis
https://www.instagram.com/p/CX-fiGQrbhQ/
In The Real L Word’s first season, Tracy was a 29-year-old former model who’d realized she liked women in her mid-twenties, and she’d been dating 38-year-old stand-up comic Stamie Karakasidis, who had three kids with her ex, Julie.
Tracy and Stamie are still together! They grew their family in 2018 when Tracy gave birth to baby Milo! Tracy works as a Film & TV Producer for Wayfarer Studios. Stamie identifies as a Los Angles Real Estate Wealth Advisor and is a co-founder of mewd vitamins (Multi-Vitamins for Teens.) They’ve also produced 20 episodes of a podcast called The Stamie & Tracy Show.
Tracy and Stamie remain friends with Nikki and Jill.
Rose Garcia
In The Real L Word’s first season, Rose was presented as a “player” full of edit-friendly catchphrases about seducing and dating ladies. She was often fighting with her then-girlfriend, Natalie, and also had a cute dog!
I actually ran into Rose at a Generation Q premiere event in 2019 and she was quite honestly a delight. Predictably, Rose remains a boss bitch, heading up the Garcia Real Estate Group and working as a “crowd motivator” and “living the Real L Word life everyday.” She hosted parties at Dinah and appears with her hot girlfriend Sofia at power lesbian events across Los Angeles. In February 2023, Rose revealed she had been diagnosed with Late Stage Ovarian Cancer the year prior and had undergone surgery in January, and was now approaching chemo with optimism, hope, and the support of her family and friends.
Kacy Boccumini
Kacy & Cori’s difficult experience trying to have children was the emotional core of the second and third seasons of The Real L Word, and they experienced a brutal miscarriage in 2012. The couple broke up in 2017.
43-year-old Kacy Boccumini came out as a trans man on Instagram in May of 2021 after the pandemic enabled him to get in touch with himself through writing and Zoom Al-Anon meetings. He also thanked Nikki Weiss-Goldstien for her help and support through his coming out process! Kacy was diagnosed with with MS in 2013 and was working with a doctor to ensure physical transition that won’t worsen their MS. He told The Advocate that the doctor he visited to get his hormone treatments was in the same building where he used to take Cori for her fertility treatments. He works as a writer, director and the host of the podcast “The Stories We Tell,” which is about the way we read movies.
Cori McGinn
Since her time in the reality television spotlight, Cori has taken a step back from the public eye but she has a super-adorable dog, knits a lot, and works for Warner Brothers Entertainment in Los Angeles. Her personal Instagram is private, but she has a public account for her knitting projects.
Sajdah Golde
https://www.instagram.com/p/CY4Gx94lreZ/?hl=en
Sajdah Golde joined the cast in Season Two. She worked as a field organizer for political campaigns, dated a girl named Chanel, had a fantastic best friend named Marissa, and said funny things about girls and dating. She also notably tweeted during the project that she regretted getting involved at all!
Sajdah launched a magazine called Black Out for Black LGBTQ+ folks in 2013, which possibly only did one issue. She graduated from law school again in 2016, this time with a Masters of Law in Taxation. She’s now the president of taxation Law Firm Goldemind.
Claire Campbell Moseley
Claire appeared on The Real L Word’s second season as an entrepreneur who wanted to “start a website about lesbian life” and move to Los Angeles, leaving behind her girlfriend Vivian in favor of seeing “what’s there” with her ex-girlfriend Francine. Upon landing in Los Angeles, they immediately began fighting. Claire once memorably noted of her cast members: “It’s cool, I look good. You all look fake and crazy. Bye.”
Now, Claire has left these halcyon days behind her. She’s the founder of custom pocket square shop O’Harrow Clotheirs, which she launched in 2013 out of her Silver Lake Blackhouse. Claire and her new haircut look fantastic on Instagram, traveling the world in curated outfits. She currently works as the marketing Manager for vape kings PAX. In 2017, she was listed as one of Elle Magazine’s Hottest Singles, but she appears to now be dating a girl named Anna.
Francine Beppu
Aforementioned ex of Claire, Francine, modeled for the Autostraddle calendar while being filmed for The Real L Word‘s second season, in which she had a nice storyline with her mom and some big fights with Claire!
In 2015, Francine moved back to Hawai’i and soon thereafter began working with the Hawai’i LGBT Legacy Foundation, eventually becoming its president. She currently lives in Honolulu and works as the VP of Network Strategy for the NMG Network.
Kiyomi McCloskey
The third season of The Real L Word introduced dueling Los Angeles / New York storylines, but the New York cast was basically just Kiyomi McCloskey’s band, Hunter Valentine, and mostly focused on Kiyomi, with some screentime for temporary bandmate Somer and a sliver for additional bandmates Vero and Laura. Hunter Valentine lost Vero in 2013 and then Aimee in 2014, while the band was a part of Make or Break: The Linda Perry Project. Hunter Valentine released its last EP in 2016.
Kiyomi began the show with one girlfriend and ended the show with a new girlfriend: castmate Lauren Bedford Russell. The duo stayed together for four years before parting ways — although they remain friends!
In 2019, Kiyomi married her girlfriend of five years, model Meghan Garland, at Whitney Houston’s former estate in New Jersey, which was written up in Brides magazine and amazingly did include a custom bottle of Smirnoff with their actual faces on it. The couple parted ways in June of 2022. Kiyomi is still living in New York and working as a real estate agent as well as doing a bit of Influencing.
Somer Bingham
Local favorite Somer Bingham was briefly a member of Hunter Valentine and thus was shuffled onto The Real L Word, but by the time the show aired she’d returned to focusing on her own band, Clinical Trials.
After The Real L Word, Somer attended noted event A-Camp, where she created an independent campaign to be recognized as A-Camp Intern Somer. She and her wife, Donna Rizham, had a daughter in 2014, and Somer still makes music and is currently a producer-songwriter-musician “trying to balance nihilism, creativity & motherhood.” She wrote a very important piece for Autostraddle about how to remain punk while having a kid.
Laura Petracca
Hunter Valentine’s drummer, Laura, followed up her time with the band by returning to Toronto and the culinary career she’d begun there, working as a sous chef at Leña before taking the lead as Executive Chef at The Rabbit Hole in Toronto. She also has a girlfriend, and they look very happy!
Vero Sanchez
The former bassist for Hunter Valentine now identifies as an artist/songwriter and runs The Bowery Vault in East Nashville, “an inviting space where people can explore fashion along with creating a great sounding room where artists and audiences can connect.”
Lauren Bedford Russell
https://www.instagram.com/p/Cgcq7_3vOuS/?hl=en
The L.A. crew for Season Three contained series mainstays Whitney, Sada, Romi, Cori, and Kacy, as well as newcomer Lyon Jewelry CEO Lauren Bedford Russel, who was “best friends with benefits” with Amanda Dunn, who was moving to Los Angeles to live with Lauren when the season opened.
Lauren is now an ambassador for environmental platform OnlyOne and owns Design & Renovation firm Bedford Renovations. She’s pretty withdrawn from social media at this point, but from what is out there it would appear that she really enjoys being underwater!
Amanda Leigh Dunn
In 2013, Amanda was part of the team that started Brooklyn lesbian bar The Dalloway with America’s Next Top Model star Kim Stolz, which unfortunately closed a year after opening. Amanda is the head of Design & Development for House of Rolison, a real estate development firm that promises to “create avant-garde and innovative housing projects” and “transform places into real living spaces.” She’s in a relationship with House of Rolison’s Managing Partner, Taylor Hahn.
I’ll Watch Anything Where the Black Girls Kiss
I’ll Watch Anything is an Autostraddle TV Team series in which we tell you what type of movies and TV shows we’ll watch, no matter what. This week, Carmen Phillips is here to explain why she’ll watch anything where the Black girls kiss.
It’s not only about when the Black girls kiss.
I mean, don’t get me wrong, it is a little about that. There’s this meme I once saw of Raven Symoné talking on pink razr phone (remember the 00s?) that says “This is how queer people
recommend shows to each other: ‘There’s a Lesbian, couple on season 4!'” Famously, as a people, I do think we will put up with a lot just to watch two women characters.. well.. smash their faces together in a passionate, loving, manner. It’s not a common practice that I see happening in cis gay men’s communities, so it does feel unique to us in some respects. But I don’t think it’s about the kissing. Not really. I think it’s about the story that got us there.
I’ve found recently that it’s hard for me to write about representation. #RepresentationMatters can feel clunky and quaint, if not out of date, as a rubric. Some version of late aughts and 2010s nostalgia, like a Shepard Fairey Obama Hope poster or wearing a skinny tie and fedora and calling it “fashion”. We already saw first hand that having representation in name alone did not get us to the places we had hoped, most often leaving us parched and unsatisfied. That having a Black President without also doing the work to change the white supremacist ideologies that are threaded into the fabrics of the United States, in so many ways, unearthed a backlash that lead to Trump and our current rises in hate crimes and hate-filled, state-sanctioned legislations. These are the lessons that the 2010s left us. And I think it’s ok to learn from those lessons, to pivot and become smarter, more sleek, in how we move next to accomplish our goals.
At the same time, yes, we are currently directly in the middle of those aforementioned rises public-sanctioned hate. There’s also seismic shifts in television right now, with streaming companies changing they way they do business and the quickness with which they cancel new shows before they’ve found an audience, the eve of the potential writer’s strike, and pulling content from streaming platforms in a fashion that seems to be hitting queer and POC content in uniquely difficult and proportionally uneven ways compared to their white straight peers. All of which rain down together to make “representation” feel more rare, vulnerable, and treasured than probably any other time in the last 15 years.
More than anything, I have found myself making a small mental adjustment, a shift in focus from writing about “representation” to asking about “storytelling.” It moves a passive noun into an action verb. In truth, all of the stories that those of us who love stories on screen love so much, they’re not created in a vacuum. There are so many intricate and nuanced layers of systems at play between a writer’s draft, an executive C-suite at some network, standards and practices, focus groups, a director’s chair, a production team, an actor’s performance, and what eventually we get to see. And none of those systems are designed for Black women or queer people to win, which is not new information but often thrives on being hidden. Interrogating “storytelling” reminds us that everything we’re watching was someone’s active choice.
It’s not that I simply want more Black roles, not if those roles are going to be written and directed by people who have no understanding of a Black experience, or if a Black character is going to be an auxiliary best friend in some other white woman’s story and never live a life of their own apart from a white gaze. I don’t want to watch queer characters with no other queer or trans peers to live their life with, forced into isolation and loneliness. I want explorations of queerness that challenge norms, even the norms from within our own community. And one of those norms is clearly an evaluation of whiteness, cisness, and thinness as romantic ideals.
According Autostraddle’s research, out of 169 queer Black characters in romantic relationships, in the history of television, they’ve been in relationships with white partners 85 times. They’ve been in relationships with people of color who aren’t Black an additional 18 times; totaling 103 times when a Black queer character was in a relationship with a non-Black partner.
Comparatively, there have only been 46 times when a Black queer character was paired with a Black partner on television. Only six have had multiple Black partners.
So yeah, I want to see the Black girls kiss.
Having Black queer characters together doesn’t always mean that their stories are well drawn. Recently, a Prime Video Christmas rom-com, Something From Tiffany’s, cast Javicia Leslie and Jonica Gibbs as wives — both Javicia and Jonica have been recent Black queer leads in their respective television series Batwoman and Twenties, which meant I had been counting down the days for the film’s release pretty much from the news of their casting (and correctly guessed they would be in a relationship in the film, I might add). After months of anticipation, their roles ended up being so small that we had to have an editorial huddle on how to even cover it. We landed on the title “10 Cute Couple Things I Imagined Javicia Leslie and Jojo Gibbs Doing in ‘Something From Tiffany’s’.” Imagined. Because there was nothing else there.
In seven seasons of Queen Sugar, Rutina Wesley’s Nova Bordelon — one of the six Black queer characters to ever have multiple Black partners, on a show that was created, written, and produced by majority Black talent — saw her relationships with women poorly underdeveloped at every turn.
It began with Nova holding her girlfriend, Chantal, in bed, half naked and in a warm morning glow of their own making, telling her that she felt like freedom. That was the first message of the show, that Black women loving each other and ourselves was freedom. Instead, it eventually reached a point where the writers decided that Nova, who began Queen Sugar as a journalist and Black Lives Matter activist, should declare a white cop as the love of her life.
Batwoman in so many ways is a gold standard of Black lesbian romance on television. Season Two’s recast of Javicia Leslie as Ryan Wilder (replacing Ruby Rose’s original Kate Kane) made the series the first to have a Black lesbian lead superhero and the Season Three courtship with Meagan Tandy’s Sophie Moore marked the first time ever that the lead romantic relationship on a television drama centered on two Black lesbians. In room full of people, Sophie looked at Ryan with a smile tucked in that was only for her, Ryan’s flirtations damn near bordered on debonair, she was so smooth.
But it also takes nothing away from these feats to say that the cancellation of Batwoman last year meant that while the build up and flirtations between Ryan and Sophie were electric, not just in performance but in rarity, a verified lightning in the bottle, their actual relationship was ultimately rushed to meet the finish line, impairing character development, and now unable to be picked back up. In 51 total episodes of Batwoman, Ryan and Sophie co-star in 31 of them. They are officially in a relationship for just three. Five, if you want to count from their first kiss.
Black queer television shows with lesbian leads that come from a Black production team, even those that air on a Black network, like BET’s Twenties, often struggle to gain traction with straight Black audiences and queer white audiences alike. Twenties has yet to be picked up for a third season. A League of Their Own was a strong performer with audiences overall and a bonafide breakout hit in queer communities, with multiple, stunning, depictions of Black queer characters — Prime Video has decided to softly cancel it with a second, final and abbreviated season.
The first Black lesbian couple on television were on a CBS drama called Courthouse, which aired for just nine weeks in the fall of 1995. In it Jennifer Lewis and Cree Summer played reoccurring characters Judge Rosetta Reine (Lewis) and Danny Gates (Summer), a housekeeper. The show was ultimately pulled before the final two episodes could even air.
It doesn’t sound like much has changed.
Mae Martin on “Sap,” Camping, and Finding Queer Community
Photo by Tommaso Boddi / Stringer via Getty Images
I interviewed Mae Martin for the first time at the end of March 2020. The first season of their show Feel Good had been released as the early days of quarantine were threatening to last much, much longer.
It says a lot about how the world responded to that pandemic and the recent rise of transphobia, that three years later things feel even more challenging. But that’s why Mae’s new standup special, Sap, is such a relief. Netflix has taken a break from their regularly scheduled transphobic comics to make space for someone who is not only trans, but also really, really funny.
Mae’s comedy doesn’t avoid the seriousness of the moment but it does de-prioritize it in a way that feels important. The title of the show alludes to finding the good in a bad situation — Mae’s comedy is some of that good. They talk about gender, but they spend far more time talking about their ex and a moose.
I hope you enjoy my third chat with Mae for Autostaddle where we do not talk about their ex, but we do talk about gender and the moose.
Mae: Hey Drew!
Drew: Hi! You’re in LA now, right?
Mae: I’m in LA! I feel like we should’ve hung out by now?
Drew: Yeah, but now I’m in Toronto.
Mae: Oh fuck! When did that happen?
Drew: I mean, I still live in LA. Sort of. I was in Toronto last summer and now I’m here for the spring. But the plan right now is July I’ll come back to LA and find a new place and then stay for a bit.
Mae: Okay cool. And is this all relationship based?
Drew: (laughs) Yeah.
Mae: (laughs) Okay, okay, okay. Well, it’s so easy to work from anywhere now.
Drew: Yeah. Are you liking LA?
Mae: I’m loving it. But there’s stigma attached to loving LA. Like what does that say about me?
Drew: No, that’s a good thing!
Mae: I’m in the honeymoon phase. The sun, the Mexican food, it’s all good.
Drew: Yeah, I mean, it’s still so cold in Toronto.
Mae: Is it?
Drew: There’s nothing more boring than being in Toronto and complaining about the weather but I’m just like it’s April, I’m ready for it to warm up.
Mae: Yeah, it’s intense.
Drew: Okay, so obviously you’re from here. And your special starts around a campfire and has a woodsy aesthetic on stage. Are you outdoorsy?
Mae: No. (laughs) Well, it’s a complicated answer, Drew. I crave nature. When I’m in it, I love it. But I’m not a good camper. I’m good for the day. Maybe having some drinks by the fire. Then I need to go into a bed and have four strong walls. But when I was a kid I went to summer camp for nine summers in a row and they were the happiest times.
Drew: Oh wow! What kind of summer camp?
Mae: It was a canoe tripping camp. I went on like a twelve day canoe trip where you’re just camping and carrying your canoe on your back sometimes and canoeing all through the Canadian lakes.
Drew: Woah.
Mae: I was a real camp kid.
Drew: I do think as a kid I was better at being crusty than I am now.
Mae: Oh totally. Now I’ve got to wash my face twice a day. I need my products.
Drew: As a kid, did you ever see a moose?
Mae: I did! On those canoe trips I saw a bear and a moose and a lot of beavers. Insert joke there. But moose are fucking massive. They’re huge.
Drew: That’s still on my Canadian to-do list. I would like to see a moose. Obviously not too close. But I’d like to see one at some point.
Mae: They’re really majestic. But moose are kind of like the hippos of the land. They’re aggressive. They run really fast.
Drew: Speaking of moose, how do you construct your standup material? What’s your writing process like for standup?
Mae: It’s always evolving. It depends what I’ve been doing that year. In the past, for instance, I was working on a radio series and some of the writing for that turned into standup. This time a lot of it was from improv.
I finished Feel Good and was really craving light silliness and something slightly less gruelingly personal. So I went on tour doing an improv show, improvised standup, improvising with friends, and then a lot of stuff came out of that. I think this has a lighter feel to it. You can tell I’m having fun.
Drew: Yeah definitely. When approaching the special, what kinds of conversations did you have with director Abbi Jacobson?
Mae: Well, the first thing was just whether she wanted to do it. (laughs)
Drew: (laughs) Sure.
Mae: Then she came to a bunch of previews I did in LA and gave notes on bits that weren’t working. I’d been touring the show for awhile and had gotten a little complacent with it. There was stuff that wasn’t working that I was still doing. It needed a shakeup. I think we reordered some bits.
And on the night, we discussed things like camera positions and worked together designing the forest stage. And with those bookending scenes by the fire, Abbi’s just a great director. We have a really similar taste. And I love that she’s not a standup, so she’s coming at it from more of a storytelling angle.
Drew: That’s interesting.
So I almost decided to do a bit where I didn’t ask you a single question about transness.
Mae: (laughs) That would’ve been a great bit.
Drew: I was like I’m really tired of thinking about it and talking about it, I’m sure Mae is really tired of thinking about it and talking about it. I’m not going to stick to that bit, I’m really sorry, but I will at least keep things a bit meta. So first I want to know, how have the pressures of discussing transness changed since doing press for Feel Good?
Mae: Oh I’d say they’ve amped up tenfold. First of all, I’m further along in that journey. I feel more solidly part of that community. So I feel more qualified to have thoughts about it. But it’s also because of all the legislation and hysteria around it. I’m sure this won’t be the case with Autostraddle, but it’s just been the pull quote of every interview. 1
So then it looks like I’m obsessed. I mean, I expected it a bit because of the content in the show. But I just keep waving the banner of like it’s just one part of the show and I say pretty much everything I want to say about it in the show.
Drew: Look, I know from talking with you before, and from Feel Good, and you even see it in the special, there’s a begrudging acknowledgment that everyone is waiting for you to talk about this thing.
Mae: Yeah and I’m always interrogating where that reluctance is coming from. But I think it’s mostly because it gets taken out of context. And because I have so much more I want to say. Plus the fear of being pigeon-holed. But like I say in the show, it feels important. And I do appreciate the platform to talk about it.
Drew: One of my favorite storylines in Feel Good is when fictional Mae is trying to decide whether to call out the abusive comic. I think so much of being in the industry is navigating when to speak up and when to just ignore things. And I would imagine it’s similar with comics who aren’t necessarily abusive — well, maybe they’re also abusive —but who are just constantly talking about transness. Trying to decide when to wade into it and point out that what they’re saying is wrong and when to just be like this has nothing to do with me.
Mae: Totally. It’s a lot to navigate. And I liked that storyline, too. It was interesting to me how little press focused on that storyline even though it was a pulsing thread throughout the series. But there was one scene where I talked about being nonbinary and that was the main takeaway.
Drew: (laughs) Of course. In all the years you’ve been doing comedy, was there ever a time where you questioned if there was space for you in the standup world?
Mae: Well, I had no backup plan or other qualifications. So I kind of had to make it work. (laughs) But I always had such amazing comics around me and such an amazing community. It brings me so much joy. I would never have given it up. I’m lucky. I’m sure some people have worse experiences than me and then don’t continue. But I was always able to surround myself with good people and I just love it too much to stop.
Drew: Speaking of, what comics are you loving right now? Who are you really excited to watch and perform with?
Mae: So many! It’s been really nice living in LA and getting to perform with so many people. I do a monthly show at Largo and that venue is amazing. It’s a real hub. I’ve gotten to meet some of my idols. I’ve been performing with Brett Goldstein a lot. And then like Tig Notaro, Sarah Silverman, Fortune Feimster, Zach Galifiknakis. I’ve been doing a lot of improv with Stephanie Allyne and Alana Johnson. Also John Early and Kate Berlant. Meg Stalter. Jes Tom. Who else…
Drew: I’m going to interrupt you because you’re naming all of our faves. But is there anyone queer or trans who is maybe less famous that our readers should know?
Mae: I’m not on the circuit the way I used to be, but definitely Jes Tom, Nori Reed, and Sydnee Washington.
Drew: They’re great!
There’s a moment in the special where you talk about being asked as a kid to pick which Spice Girl you identify with. It made me realize that’s kind of where a lot of conversations around gender have evolved to. Like it’s no longer two options, but it’s still only five options. And that’s the challenge when words and labels change but our cultural attitudes around gender don’t. Like great, we don’t have to just pick between Baby and Sporty. We can be Scary or Posh or Ginger. But what if [we want to be a] sixth Spice Girl or no Spice Girls or multiple Spice Girls.
Mae: Yeah it’s the same old story of labels being important in terms of fighting for legal rights, but being so inadequate in terms of expressing nuances of existing. And as soon as you choose a label it ends up inflating that part of your identity above other parts that are just as important. I hope one day we… I really thought… You know, I think I was slightly naive. And now I’m like it might take a hundred years for this system to be deconstructed.
Drew: I know, I was also feeling pretty good for a while there.
Mae: Yeah. (laughs)
Drew: Okay, but since owning your trans identity and feeling more settled in that part of yourself, do you have more people in your life that are also trans? Because in my experience that is one good thing about labels.
Mae: Yeah, definitely since moving to LA. In London, I had so many amazing friends, but I was very much just in the comedy community. I definitely feel more of queer community here in LA and have more nonbinary and trans friends. It does feel good. It feels reassuring.
Drew: That’s one thing I love about LA. I’ve found such great queer community there.
Mae: I mean, I’m sure it exists in London. Maybe I just wasn’t ready to find it yet. But it’s really nice.
Drew: How do you focus on the sap, so to speak? It’s obviously not the best time to be alive, but how are you finding the balance between staying informed and present while still focusing on the good stuff?
Mae: It’s a daily struggle, but I think scheduling in actual vacation time. Even if it’s just a day to be off my phone, not responding to emails. Be in nature or something. And just focusing on that stupid list I do at the end of the special. Things that make me feel good. I love playing the guitar and making music. I just recorded an album of like, serious music.
Drew: Oh shit!
Mae: Yeah, yeah. But I’m a real workaholic, so just taking enough time off to live a life. Otherwise, you’ve got nothing to write about. And, you know, a low dose of SSRIs and exercise. Exercise is key for me to just stay connected to the ol’ bode. It’s tough. Even though we know how to feel better. We know all these things. We just don’t do them. Everyone knows if they were on their phone less they’d be happier and more fulfilled. But it’s hard. Everything is designed to keep us distracted.
Drew: Yeah I started putting my phone outside my bedroom before like 10pm and it’s so annoying how much better I’m sleeping and how much better I feel.
Mae: Really? Okay I need to do that. I know I need to do that.
Drew: It’s so annoying. I wish it didn’t work.
Mae: I know it’s so annoying.
Drew: Okay one last thing. As far as your family debate goes with the moose, my immediate reaction was that a moose must have jumped over your parents’ car.
Mae: Ohhh interesting.
Drew: Like a big moose — but not the biggest of all time — leaped over and it felt like they just drove under it. That was my read. I don’t know what it says about me.
Mae: That’s a really interesting read. And it would explain the sound of the fur grazing the roof of the car.
Drew: This is my theory.
Mae: I’m going to bring this up to them.
Sap is now streaming on Netflix, you can also read Autostraddle’s review about it here.
1. Author’s Note: Please look at the pull quote I chose for this piece.
I’ll Watch Anything Queer Made Before the Year 2000
I’ll Watch Anything is an Autostraddle TV Team series in which we tell you what type of movies and TV shows we’ll watch, no matter what. This week, Drew Burnett Gregory is here to explain why she’ll watch anything queer made before the year 2000.
I do not find my obsessions — they find me.
Sometimes it’s motivated like when Kirsten Dunst got her first Oscar nomination and I decided to watch all her movies or when I saw a new production of A Raisin in the Sun then spent months with Lorraine Hansberry’s life and work. Sometimes it seems more random like when I set out to fill in my gaps in the filmography of Pedro Almodóvar, a favorite of mine since adolescence.
Regardless of the spark, the real reasons for my obsessions tend to reveal themselves later. Studying Dunst, my longtime paragon of normative femininity, as I confronted the dysphoria of a world reopening. Finding in Hansberry answers — and more questions — to my pressing concern of how to balance personal artistic practice and politics. Re-learning from Almodóvar to ignore queer respectability politics as I embarked on writing a script that might prove controversial in certain corners of the community.
This year my obsessions felt both urgent and discordant. I wanted to watch every film referenced in the main text of Kier-La Janisse’s House of Psychotic Women before reading the book itself and I wanted to watch every George Cukor movie as I read Patrick McGilligan’s biography on the famous gay director. Horror and exploitation movies largely from the 70s and 80s on the one hand, screwball comedies and melodramas from Old Hollywood on the other.
It was only upon writing this essay — almost done with my Cukor project, halfway through my House of Psychotic Women viewing — that I realized their connection to each other and to my moment in time. With Cukor, it’s to study how a queer filmmaker managed to insert his tastes and experiences into work that couldn’t be explicitly gay. With House of Psychotic Women, it’s to study the queer movies made by straight men who aimed primarily to fetishize or villainize, movies that have since been reclaimed by women viewers, queer viewers, and, my personal category, queer women viewers.
It’s a bleak time to be a queer artist, a bleak time to be a queer person. The unfinished progress of the recent decades has started to decline, especially for trans people. There are fewer queer stories being told this year than last. The stories that are being told are more palatable and, largely, worse. All the while, several states are overshadowing any complaints about media by taking steps to outlaw our existence altogether. They will not win. But they will cause harm I wake up every day to mourn.
I make sense of the present by looking at the past. History is my weighted blanket, the heaviness of centuries bringing me calm. I understand people who just want to move forward, who feel there’s enough to worry about today without dwelling on the worries of yesterday. I understand, but I do not agree. I need the reminder that there were people like me, like all of us, who found ways to survive and thrive. I need the reminder that our current problems will pass — while understanding the damage that can be done.
I get something important out of watching Cukor’s 1935 comedy flop Sylvia Scarlett starring a cross-dressing Katharine Hepburn. It’s fascinating to learn that many in Hollywood thought it gauche of Cukor to so explicitly show the queerness they merely tolerated in him. It’s fascinating to see how that shaped the rest of his career, the risks he took and didn’t take, the ways he found to insert queerness more subtly through stories of strong women and creatives tortured by polite society.
I get something quite different from watching a movie like Norman J. Warren’s 1977 alien invasion chamber drama Prey, covered in part 8 of House of Psychotic Women. This is a movie with a several minute long lesbian sex scene — that also suggests dykes are possessive, abusive, and more predatory toward sweet hetero women than aliens with red eyes and sharp teeth. It’s a movie that’s easy to call homophobic. But with nearly 50 years of distance, its charms outweigh its values. The film fails in its critique of lesbianism — the hate too campy, the sex too hot.
I will watch any movie or TV show with queer people made before the year 2000. The older the better. I love to see the work we were managing to make and I love to see the work made about us. I don’t think we’ve changed or straight people have changed as much as we like to think. And, within those changes, and lack of change, there is much to learn.
There is so much great art that has been ignored because it was queer. People have been discovering and re-discovering this work since it was first made. The box office reports for Sylvia Scarlett don’t include the anecdotes of young queers lusting over a short-haired Hepburn. The confused critical response to Prey doesn’t account for women dragged to the exploitation theatre by a horny boyfriend only to burn with desire watching lesbian sex.
These movies had value upon their releases and they have a different kind of value now. There is so much to stumble upon, to seek out. We can take lessons from this older work into our present lives and into the art we make and watch today.
Watch queer film and television from the 20th century and you’ll see a lot of bad — but the treasures, oh the treasures will be plentiful.
Autostraddle March Madness 2023: Trope-y Wives Champion – Maya Bishop and Carina Deluca!
We started this contest with 68 couples — a new record for Autostraddle March Madness — and then our A+ members stepped in and narrowed the field to 64. Then, we opened the voting up to our entire readership and, now, after six rounds of voting, we have our champion: congratulations to Maya Bishop and Carina DeLuca of Station 19, our favorite set of Trope-Y Wives. Or maybe we should officially dub them “Trophy Wives” because it’s the second year in a row that the Station 19 ship has taken home our March Madness crown.
Every year, I build our competition about a theme and, this year, it was built around the tropes that have been the bedrock of some of our favorite stories. What pushed these two characters together? What made them enchanting to watch? What made you want to cheer for them, as a viewer? This year’s four regions — Forbidden Fruit, Enemies to Lovers, Opposites Attract and Friendship to Lovers — are really the foundation upon which so many queer ships are built. But even if these couples all start from a similar place, what sprouts up can be radically different but equally beautiful.
That is, if they’re given time. Because, that’s the advantage that Maya and Carina have in this contest, right? We’ve had time to see them grow as people, to grow together…to fall in love and to break each other’s hearts and to put them back together again. When Maya meets Carina at Joe’s, we know who Maya Bishop is. She puts her ambition ahead of everything else: ahead of her friendship with Andy, stealing the promotion that should’ve rightly been hers, and ahead of her relationship with Jack, abandoning him when he seemed like more of an impediment than an asset. The abuse she suffered as a child — though she only realizes its impact later — still drives her as an adult.
But Carina’s love changes her. It makes her see the world with new eyes. It makes her want to be better. So on the day where Carina needs her more than ever — when her brother’s in surgery after being stabbed — Maya’s there. Even though she’s the Captain and there’s an inspection that day. Even though there’s a four-alarm fire that’s sparked downtown. She’s there, steadying Carina’s shaking hands, as she tries to light a candle, listening as Carina talks about her bond with her brother, and celebrating with Carina when her brother pulls through the initial surgery.
Likewise, when we first meet Carina on Grey’s Anatomy, she’s non-committal. She has a relationship — with Arizona, with Owen — that it lasts until it exhausts its usefulness and then she moves on. She’s not looking for forever when she sits down next to Maya at Joe’s Bar, she’s just looking for right now. But slowly, she starts to shift and invests in her relationship with Maya despite her own misgivings…until one day, Carina ends up in front of Grey-Sloan, just before she’s slated to board a trip back to Italy, and she proposes to Maya.
“Marry me,” she pleads. “I know I’m a stubborn idiot and I don’t want to get married just because the government says we have to, and I still think marriage was invented to keep women as property, but I’d much rather do something that I don’t want to than lose you.”
And yes, it helps that these two actresses are beautiful and have electric, unparalled chemistry together…but it comes down to time. They’re on a show that hasn’t been forced to squash their romantic arc into one season. Every couple in this contest resonates with someone but we grow more connected with these characters the more time we spend with them and Station 19 has afforded that time to Maya and Carina. And so, of course, the fandom grows — and of course it wins contests like this — because fans are willing to invest in characters when those shows are willing to invest in those characters too. I wish other shows, networks and/or streaming services would take the lesson.
For the third year in a row, we incorporated a bracket challenge into this year’s March Madness. It was intended to be a way to integrate one of my favorite aspects of the NCAA tournament into our own competition but, honestly, it’s turned into a great way to rebuild my self-esteem when my NCAA bracket goes bust. I finished in the top ten again this year but finished just slightly behind my performance from last year. And, because of the best things about being in a bracket competition is competing with your friends, I’ll note that I came in first place among our TV Team…just barely edging out Carmen’s picks. It’s a small bit of consolation because in every other fantasy sports competition we participate in together — WNBA Fantasy, NCAA brackets, etc. — I end up finishing in second place just behind Heather. Finally, some vindication!
So, how did y’all do? Let’s check out our final leaderboard:
Despite having won last year’s competition, Maya and Carina were not favored to repeat: only two people — including “slay station 19,” our bracket competition winner — selected #Marina to win this year’s edition of March Madness. More people were convinced that Generation Q‘s Bette and Tina or A League of Their Own‘s Greta and Carson would come out on top. But it wasn’t just “slay station 19″‘s correct championship pick that won them this contest: our top two finishers were the only people in the entire competition who had both Maya and Carina and Emily and Sue among their Final Four and had Maya and Carina advancing to the championship round. Those decisions turned out to be the difference.
Before we bring Autostraddle March Madness 2023 to a close, a word of thanks:
Five years ago, I was just a few months into my tenure as a writer here when I pitched this idea to the editors. I knew it could work — Heather had shown me that it could work — but it was a big swing. It required an investment of both time and resources to make come to fruition. And, perhaps most of all: it required a lot of faith from the editors that I hadn’t really earned yet. But, by some miracle, they saw the vision and gave me a lot of latitude to bring it to reality…and now, we’ve five years into this thing we call Autostraddle March Madness.
It’s been so fun. Every year, we’re finding new ways to make the contest better — from adding international shows to the bracket challenge to expanding the field to creating eye-catching graphics — and this year, to make the contest fairer. Each and every year, it continues to be a big swing and each and every year, you make it worthwhile.
But this year, in particular, you really stepped up: both by participating in this contest in unprecedented numbers and by supporting the fundraiser to keep Autostraddle alive. Your support means that we can do this. Your support means I can afford to spend hours tracking down 68 participants for this contest and writing about all of them. It means that Viv can create some snazzy graphics and that our tech team can create a system less suspectible to spam voting. It means that Heather steps in whenever I faulter and do whatever needs to be done. It means that Carmen can oversee it all and keep us focused on the vision. It’s truly a team effort. It’s a big swing…and the big swings aren’t possible without you…so, thank you.
Let’s do this again next year, shall we? That is, unless I can figure out a way to turn the Women’s World Cup into pre-text for another fandom competition.
Autostraddle March Madness 2023: Trope-y Wives – Championship
It’s GAME DAAAAYYYYY!!!! Finally. I know that technically, there’s been women’s basketball being played during this lull between the Elite 8 and the start of the Final Four — the Women’s NIT semi-finals and international leagues — but, for a basketball obsessed person like me, the last few days have felt like famine after an entire month of feast. Plus, the college basketball transfer portal is open and big names (including some from my beloved Wolfpack) are jumping in and there’s been no women’s basketball on to assuage my anxiety. But now, it’s semifinal Friday: we’re here, we’re queer, and there’s basketball to be played…and that’s cause for celebration.
Tipping off first tonight is what some might dub the undercard — the less important bout that serve as a prelude to the main event — but for me, I’m expecting Virginia Tech vs. LSU to be the most competitive game of the night…maybe even of the entire Final Four. My heart, of course, with the Hokies. Because I’m an ACC girl, I’ve had a front row seat to the growth of the program and it’s been a thrill to watch them get to this point. Plus, let’s be honest here: I’ll never cheer for a Kim Mulkey-led team for reasons, no matter how many players I like on her roster (i.e., Angel Reese AKA Bayou Barbie and Flau’jae Johnson). But if I take the emotion out of it, I’m truly split on who might win.
And then the battle that everyone’s been waiting for: Iowa vs. South Carolina. The most explosive offensive power of Iowa Caitlin Clark vs. the defensive prowess of South Carolina. I wish I thought that this match-up would live up to the hype around it but I’m expecting the Gamecocks to win in a cakewalk. South Carolina came out a little slow against Maryland but I don’t expect them to repeat that tonight: though Coach Dawn Staley assured reporters that her players are focused on winning a championship, I can’t imagine that the team’s not feeling some type of way about Aliyah Boston not repeating as Player of the Year and Staley passed over for AP Coach of the Year. I think they’ll be playing with a little chip on their shoulder…and it’ll put Iowa on their heels, early on…
Don’t get me wrong: I fully expect Caitlin Clark to do Caitlin Clark things. I’d be shocked if she didn’t put up 30 points tonight. She’s an absolute bucket. But I don’t know that Iowa’s offense is potent enough to stymie South Carolina’s defense, especially when Staley pairs Boston and Kamilla Cardoso in the frontcourt. My head and heart are united on this one: South Carolina all the way.
But, okay…that’s not what we’re here to talk about — though, c’mon, we’ve been doing this for five years now, at this point you should just expect it — we’re here to set up our final vote in the 2023 Autostraddle March Madness competition.
In the end, two #1 seeds are left standing.
Ava and Sara had a phenomenal run in this tournament, one very few of us saw coming, but round after round, the Space Wives managed to pull through…even if it was by relatively narrow margins. I think #Avalance really benefitted from the Trope-y Wives format this year. Typically, they’re locked into the Sci-Fi/Fantasy bracket and get eliminated early because there’s more overlap in the fandoms. #Avalance put up a strong fight against the Forbidden Fruit region’s #1 seed, Emily and Sue of Dickinson, but finally, their luck just ran out. But even with the win, #EmiSue fans should be concerned: much like the LSU Tigers, their offensive performance has taken a step back in subsequent rounds…they got fewer votes in the Final 4 than they did in the Elite 8, despite facing quality opponents in both. Dickinson fans are going to have to step up their game if they want to be declared our Trope-y Wives.
In the five years we’ve done this tournament, I’ve noticed one recurring habit: fandoms will start out strong but fade as the contest goes on, losing interested in advancing their fave to the final. When favorites go down in defeat, that’s usually why…the fandom just runs out of gas. But that hasn’t happened this year….and, in particular, when you look at the other half of the bracket — the semi-final match-up between Maya and Carina of Station 19 and Ava and Beatrice of Warrior Nun — the opposite actually happened. As the contest went on, both those fandoms grew more dedicated to showing up for their favorite couples. But in the end, the intensity of the #Marina fandom and, much like I anticipate South Carolina doing, the last year’s champion will return to defend her crown.
Will we have a repeat champion or will Emily and Sue upset the reigning champion? Well, of course, that comes down to your votes. As usual, you’ve got 48 hours to cast your ballots in our championship round. Remember, this year, you can vote four times over the voting period (or to be more precise once, every 12 hours) so be sure to take advantage of that! We’ll be back on Monday to crown one couple, the Trope-y Wives!
Forbidden Fruit: #1. Emily and Sue – Dickinson vs. Opposites Attract: #1. Maya and Carina – Station 19
Autostraddle March Madness 2023: Trope-y Wives – Final Four
On Friday night, after nearly a month of madness, the last four teams remaining in the NCAA Women’s Division I Basketball Tournament will take the floor in Dallas, Texas and compete for the right to play for a national championship. What started as a dream for 68 teams is left to just four. For some, a win could be a historic first but for others, it’ll be a chance to reaffirm that they are perennial contenders. Heroes are going to be made in Dallas. Hearts are going to be broken and others are going to overflow with joy. There will be dreams deferred and destinies unlocked…and, honestly, I can’t wait to take it all in.
And, from the looks of things, I’m not alone: according to ESPN, the tournament stands poised to be the most watched women’s basketball tournament in history. Overall viewership is up 42% over last year’s audience numbers with the Sweet 16 alone adding a stunning 73% year over year. We’re seeing that ncreased interest reverbate in Dallas as well: according to Rachel Bachman of the Wall Street Journal, the price for resale tickets for the women’s Final Four is outpacing the men’s.
Have I mentioned how excited I am about this Final Four? I’ll save all my game-day insights for Friday but, as we unveil our own Final Four today, I was struck by some interesting parallels between the two.
Forbidden Fruit: #1. Emily and Sue – Dickinson vs. Enemies to Lovers: #5. Ava and Sara – Legends of Tomorrow
This match-up feels akin to LSU-Virginia Tech. One team with a track record of success in this tournament (that is, LSU and Dickinson), the other a team that’s become a tournament regular but never advanced this stage before (Virginia Tech and Legends of Tomorrow).
While Emily and Sue have done well in past competitions, I have to admit: I’ve been surprised how far they’ve advanced in this tournament. Given the way some (a lot?) of y’all feel about Sue, I was skeptical that they’d be able to advance this far. But #EmiSue didn’t just advance, they dominated, besting Cal and Juliette by a 2 to 1 margin in the Elite 8 voting. While the finish has to be disappointing for the #Calliette fandom, First Kill had an amazing run in this tournament. To have advanced this far, off the strength of just eight episodes? It’s a testament to the strength of that fandom.
Emily and Sue have their work cut out for them in this semi-final round, though, as they face the Cinderellas of Autostraddle March Madness: Ava and Sara of Legends of Tomorrow. Among our bracket predictions, only 6% of folks had #Avalance in their Final 4…so clearly, not a lot of people saw this run coming. The pair were able to eek out a win in the Elite 8, beating Atypical‘s Casey and Izzie by just a few hundred votes…the narrowest margin of any contest in the round. It was a strong run for #Cazzie in this tournament, they just ran into a fandom who would not be denied.
So now y’all have got some questions to answer: Will Emily and Sue become the second #1 seed to fall to the Legends? Or will Dickinson, a story about a legend in her own rite, be able to cast this year’s Cinderellas out of Autostraddle March Madness for good?
Opposites Attract: #1. Maya and Carina – vs. Friends to Lovers: #8. Ava and Beatrice – Warrior Nun
This is our South Carolina-Iowa. This is the match-up that everyone wanted to see. This is the match-up that felt destined from the opening rounds. This is last year’s champion against an upstart who has put up jaw-dropping performances against tough competition. The two most talked about teams of the tournament, This is our South Carolina vs. Iowa…and just like that match-up, I’m lamenting that it’s happening in a semifinal, rather than in the championship round.
Both #Marina and #Avatrice faced competition from Generation Q ships in the last round. I thought, for sure, that Bette and Tina would give Maya and Carina their most arduous challenge of the tournament. Even though I personally find them to be a bit toxic, there’s no denying the hold Bette and Tina have on the queer community. I mean, we’ve watched this couple grow — both apart and together — over nine seasons, across two shows, so, of course, they’d be top contenders in the field. But, wow…Maya and Carina trounced Bette and Tina. I can’t say enough about the strength of the #Marina fandom…even as the storyline veers into uncomfortable territory — last year’s baby story and this year’s separation — fans continue to flock to March Madness, week after week, to support them.
But have they met their match in #Avatrice? It’s clear that the friends to lovers relationship between Ava and Beatrice resonated with a lot of folks but it’s also clear that the fandom is operating with a higher purpose in mind. Every round of voting is a chance to elevate Warrior Nun…to get the show (and the ‘ship) in front of more people, to make a case that it should live on. It’s hard to dethrone a fandom that’s operating with that higher purpose in mind, as Dani and Gigi found out in the Elite 8. To be sure, the couple’s premature ending in Generation Q‘s third season didn’t help things and, while Gen Q was not great at many things, it was very good at deadening enthusiasm for a couple (see also: #Sinley). Here’s hoping #Gini has a long, long life in fanfiction…while their Elite 8 competitors move onto the Final Four.
So, it’s down to this: Station 19‘s Maya and Carina, the #1 seed in the Opposites Attract region, versus Warrior Nun‘s Ava and Beatrice, the #8 seed in the Friends to Lovers Region. Without question, the top vote getting fandoms of this tournament? Will the higher purpose of the #Avatrice fandom propel them once more or will Thursday’s episode of Station 19 — in which Maya looks to be featured heavily — going to add more fuel to the #Marina flame?
Alright, it’s gametime! As usual, you’ve got 48 hours to cast your ballots in the Final Four. Remember, this year, you can vote four times over the voting period (or to be more precise once, every 12 hours) so be sure to take advantage of that! We’ll be back on Friday to unveil the last two contenders and move us one step closer to crowning one couple, the Trope-y Wives!
I’ll Watch Anything With a Toxic Mentor/Mentee Dynamic
I’ll Watch Anything is an Autostraddle TV Team series in which we tell you what type of movies and TV shows we’ll watch, no matter what. This week, Kayla Kumari Upadhyaya is here to explain why she’ll watch anything featuring a toxic mentorship relationship, especially between two women with an age gap.
Though wildly different in genre, premise, and structure, four of my favorite television shows — UnREAL, Hacks, Damages, and Dare Me — have something in common: They all feature a woman in a position of power taking a mentorship role in the life of a younger woman in their field of expertise. In all four instances, that mentorship isn’t uplifting or sweet or feminist; it’s toxic as fuck.
In the case of UnREAL — the short-lived scripted series about the horrors of working in unscripted television that has a near-perfect first season — Shiri Appleby’s Rachel Goldberg is constantly manipulated and pushed to the edge by her power-hungry and ruthless boss Quinn, played by Constance Zimmer. They work on a Bachelor-like show, but their behind-the-scenes power struggle and sabotage are way more juicy than reality dating show fodder.
Hacks is a comedy-drama, and the dynamic between legendary comedian Deborah Vance (played by legendary comedic actress Jean Smart) and the down-on-her-luck young comedy writer Ava (Hannah Einbinder) is indeed equal parts comedy and drama, the two constantly punching up each other’s jokes and treating each other like punching bags. They’re more alike than they’d ever admit, and they sometimes bring out the good in each other but also repeatedly bring out the bad.
I inhaled all the first four seasons of Damages in my college dorm room, arrested by the bleak legal thriller due in large part to the poisonous relationship between Patty Hewes (Glenn Close) and her protégée-turned-nemesis Ellen Parsons (Rose Byrne). I suppose now is when I must admit that, at the risk of sounding like I’m glamorizing these kinds of fucked-up work relationships, I do find them erotic. This push and pull, the control they’re always fighting for. It’s hard not to read a kink dynamic into it. Even in its unhealthiest forms, I’ve always found obsession one of the most intoxicating human forces. An obsession with obsession, if you will.
And then there’s Dare Me, the show I’m always trying to get people to watch, even if it was cancelled after just one season. Here, the relationship is not between a boss and an employee but rather a high school cheerleading coach and a cheerleader on her squad. Queerleader Addy (Herizen Guardiola) admires Coach Colette French (Willa Fitzgerald), and Colette wields that admiration like a weapon, her manipulations of Addy escalating over the course of the season.
All of these relationships are difficult to categorize. They’re never friends. The more powerful women aren’t maternal. They aren’t as simple as boss/employee or even mentor/mentee when you really break them down. These are people who want to undo each other.
While I definitely gravitate toward toxic mentorships between two women for obvious (gay) reasons, I do also find myself drawn to watching these kinds of relationships play out in other contexts, too. Shows like Breaking Bad (Walt/Jesse) and Succession (Tom/Greg) that feature a fucked-up relationship between and older and younger man. Even shows like Mad Men (Don/Peggy) and House M.D. (House/Cameron) where a man takes a younger or less experienced woman in the field under their wing. I’m rewatching The Vampire Diaries right now and am struck by how compelled (pun intended, iykyk) I am by the very reluctant and fraught mentorship dynamic between Klaus and Stefan in season three. Shows like The Good Wife and The Good Fight have several complicated mentorship dynamics in various gender combinations. These don’t scratch the same itch as my top four of UnREAL, Hacks, Damages, and Dare Me, but I still like to unpack these power-imbalanced relationships and look at the ways details like gender and class impact them.
The thing I’m not saying, I suppose, is that I had a mentor once, or at least thought I did. She was older, not much, but she was more experienced. I try not to throw a word like “toxic” around too much when it comes to my own life, because I think it’s the kind of word that has become overused to the point of a dulled meaning (but I do think the above examples are all easy to label toxic and in some cases are actually abusive, I mean, some of them involve MURDER). But whatever our dynamic was, it wasn’t great. It wasn’t healthy. And there was no real recourse to ever heal from that. We don’t talk anymore, and it’s like we never did. I remember, once, confessing to her my feelings for a friend over brunch. She told me I had to come clean about my crush to that friend. Otherwise, she asserted, I was being creepy. I was so early on in my queerness that I didn’t even have language for the “predatory lesbian” stereotype, but it was so easy for her to convince me there was something wrong with me, those messages long internalized.
I think these situations and relationships are common, and I think it’s difficult to talk about them. I wouldn’t go so far as to say I’m seeking catharsis in the stories I consume about fucked-up mentor/mentee relationships, but watching extreme versions play out on television does perversely satisfy. I’m supposed to want to see women uplifting other women, but I’ve never been very good at doing what I’m supposed to do.
Autostraddle March Madness 2023: Trope-y Wives – Elite 8
When you fill out a bracket at the start of March Madness you’re plotting out the way you think things are going to go. You pay attention to the seedings, which conference a team’s from and how strong that conference was during the regular season, how the team’s performed over the last ten games or so, and any new injuries that might impact the team going forward. I’m not prone to homerism — which Urban Dictionary defines as “having a bias toward your hometown team or toward the team for which you play/used to play” (see: every UCONN player that’s ever existed, i.e., Rebecca Lobo, Sue Bird, and Diana Taurasi) — so I don’t advance my alma mater beyond where I realistically think they can go and I don’t let regular season grudges carry into the post-season (LSU notwithstanding, for reasons ). There’s no science to making the perfect bracket. No amount of basketball knowledge prepares you for this. At best, it’s all educated guesses about which teams will survive and advance.
But when the ball goes up, on the opening round of play, the truth is, I’m not cheering for my bracket. I mean, don’t get me wrong, I like to be right and I like to win, but, for me, filling out a bracket isn’t about that. It’s about the love I have for the game of basketball. It’s about sitting at my dad’s side as he filled out the empty bracket on Selection Sunday and the camraderie between him and his buddies (and, eventually, me) over who’d made the most outlandish picks. Filing out brackets is about tradition and friendship and family…and so, in every single round, I’m not hoping I’m proven right or that my bracket moves up the leaderboard of whatever contest I’ve entered. I just love this game.
(Admittedly, it helps that I don’t put money on my brackets. I’d imagine I’d feel very differently if every loss meant I was also losing money.)
Once the ball tips, I’m not cheering for my bracket, I’m cheering for chaos. I’m cheering for March Madness to live up to its name. I’m cheering for a team from a place I’ve never heard of to upset a perennial powerhouse. I’m cheering for a player who hasn’t been on anyone’s radar to catch fire and to lead their team to an unexpected victory. I’m cheering for teams with players who you can tell just love playing with each other and for each other — who we probably won’t ever hear from again — to advance beyond those led by superstars who’ll likely hear their names called in a MNBA/WNBA draft. I’m cheering for buzzer-beaters and unexpected blowouts. I’m cheering for my bracket to be destroyed. I want the chaos. I love the chaos. Bring on the chaos!
You all have wrought your own brand of chaos throughout Autostraddle March Madness but never more than in the Round of 16. I mean, my goodness. Before the Sweet 16 round of voting, I ranked #2 in the standings of our Trope-Y Wives bracket challenge. After adding your Sweet 16 votes to the mix, though? Two of my Final Four picks are gone. I don’t know why I’m surprised… if anyone’s going to bring chaos, it’s fandom.
Forbidden Fruit Region
#1. Emily and Sue – Dickinson vs. #2. Cal and Juliette – First Kill
Just before we closed the bracket predictions for this year’s tournament, news dropped from Prime Video that A League of Their Own would return, albeit for an abbreviated and insufficient four episode final season. Historically, when cancellation announcements coincide with our March Madness tournament, it gives a boost to the characters or ‘ships from that show. People see voting in this contest as a easy way to express their frustration/grief/anger and that’s propelled several competitors far in the tournament. But ALOTO‘s run in this year’s tournament ends here, as they were unable to overcome a challenge from the #EmiSue fandom. I take this less as an indictment of people’s enthusiasm for ALOTO and more as a celebration of the happy ending (and three season run!) that Dickinson was given.
Once again, the vampire and her huntress girlfriend refuse to go quietly, as Cal and Juliette survived a tough challenge from Shelby and Toni to advance to the Elite 8. When The Wilds was cancelled, I opined to the TV team that network execs could only fathom one “kids stranded after a plane crash” story on television at a time, but there was always room for Taissa and Van and Shelby and Toni…only not in our Elite 8.
Enemies to Lovers Region
#3. Casey and Izzie – Atypical vs. #5. Ava and Sara – Legends of Tomorrow
So here’s where my jaw hit the floor: down goes another #1 seed! The #Wildmoore ship has run aground! I could not have imagined this happening…and to be taken out so handily by Ava and Sara? My mind was blown. Ryan and Sophie had been outperforming Ava and Sara in previous rounds but, in a head-to-head match-up, they were overwhelmed. I am stunned…and I certainly won’t be counting out #Avalance moving forward in this tournament.
On the flip side, I was far less surprised by Casey and Izzie edging out Harley and Ivy for a spot in the Elite 8. The Atypical ship has always been a strong competitor in our March Madness competition. That said, I have absolutely no idea which of these ships will represent the Enemies to Lovers trope in the Final Four?
Opposites Attract Region
#1. Maya and Carina – vs. #3. Bette and Tina – The L Word: Generation Q
This is exactly how I thought this region would shake out — in fact, this was one region where my picks were spot on — but once I noticed the enthusiasm of the #Kacy fandom in the voting and on social media, I started to question whether I’d made a mistake. Then, when I went to check on the voting on Sunday morning, I noticed that Kate and Lucy had jumped out to a sizable lead and I thought we were on the verge of losing another #1 seed. But the Maya and Carina fans were just lying in wait…and later that evening, they’d built a substantial lead in the contest. In fact, even in the face of some tough opposition, #Marina earned the most votes of any couple competing in the Sweet 16.
But now Maya and Carina face, perhaps, their toughest opponent yet in Bette and Tina. The legacy couple beat out their Generation Q compatriots, Alice and Tasha, handily. As I’ve noted, cancellations usually play a big part in Autostraddle March Madness voting so how will Gen Q‘s cancellation impact the next round? Are #TiBette fans even more energized by the possibility of a “true” L Word reboot, set in New York? It really is anyone’s guess.
Friends to Lovers Region
#7. Dani and Gigi – The L Word: Generation Q vs. #8. Ava and Beatrice – Warrior Nun
Once again, #Avatrice pulls off the upset, dispatching perennial fan favorites, Kat and Adena, from the contest. One can’t help but be impressed by the strength of this fandom who have been rallying to save Warrior Nun since news of its premature cancellation broke. But has #Avatrice run into the one battle they can’t win: over queer fans’ love for Gigi Ghorbani? I guess we’ll find out.
Dani and Gigi dispatched a difficult challenge from Syd and Elena with ease. Will they, like Bette and Tina in the Opposites Attract region, be buttressed by the cancellation of Generation Q? This is going to be a tough competition…and it’s the match-up I’m watching closest in the Elite 8.
As usual, you’ve got 48 hours to cast your ballots in the Elite 8. Remember, this year, you can vote four times over the voting period (or to be more precise once, every 12 hours) so be sure to take advantage of that! We’ll be back on Monday to unveil the Final Four and move us one step closer to crowning one couple, the Trope-y Wives!
Autostraddle March Madness 2023: Trope-y Wives – Sweet 16
If, on April 2nd, the South Carolina Gamecocks repeat as national champions — as they’re widely expected to do — there will be a chorus of folks who start talking about the lack of parity in the women’s game. They’ll point to the team’s undefeated season and bemoan the lack of competitiveness in the game. I know this will happen because…well, first, these people are mind numbingly predictable…but also? They said the same when Pat Summit’s Lady Vols were running women’s college basketball and they said the same when UCONN started to assert its dominance.
And, just as they were then, this time theyll be wrong. Wrong about the lack of parity. Wrong about the lack of competitiveness. Because in game after game in the women’s tournament, all we’ve seen is competitiveness. Just last night, Miami and Villanova were engaged in an epic battle: the Hurricanes opened up a 21 point lead and just when you think its over, the Wildcats mounted a crazy comeback. It took some last second heroics from Miami’s Jasmyne Roberts to help the Hurricanes secure the victory. And then LSU vs. Utah? A competitive grudge match that turned on two missed free throws.
A lack of competitiveness? Where? Not in any of these games because they have been sensational.
While the men’s Sweet 16 match-ups weren’t quite as thrilling as the women’s, some history was still made: for the first time since seeding began in 1979, there will be no #1 seeds in the Elite 8. San Diego State’s suffocating defense stifled a typically potent Alabama offense and sent the field’s overall #1 seed packing. And while the media was busy writing scripts about Houston playing for a national championship in their own backyard, Miami came in and wrote a different story. The Hurricanes overwhelmed Houston with their defense and balanced scoring and will play in their second straight Elite 8.
But now that the men have their final eight and the women will finalize theirs today, I suppose we should get to work on assembling our own Elite 8, eh? First, though, a look at the landscape following your votes in the Round of 32.
Forbidden Fruit Region
#1. Emily and Sue – Dickinson vs. #4. Carson and Greta – A League of their Own
#2. Cal and Juliette – First Kill vs. vs. #6. Shelby and Toni – The Wilds
I’ll admit, once the seeding for this region were out and we got the news about A League of Their Own, I thought for sure that we’d end up with an ALOTO vs. ALOTO match-up in the Sweet 16 but clearly I underestimated the strength of the #EmiSue fandom. But, of course, that means that Emily and Sue will now have to beat out another ALOTO pairing in order to advance to the Elite 8. In one of the closest contest of the Round of 32, Shelby and Toni from The Wilds were able to edge out Anne and Ann from Gentleman Jack. But now the #Shoni ship will face its toughest challenge yet: the vampire hunter and her vampire girlfriend have performed really well in the first two rounds — rivaling the vote totals of the #1 seed — and may prove difficult to stop.
Enemies to Lovers Region
#1. Ryan and Sophie – Batwoman vs. #5. Ava and Sara – Legends of Tomorrow
#2. Harley and Ivy – Harley Quinn vs. #3. Casey and Izzie – Atypical
Much like the women’s tournament, you might look at these outcomes, see the top seeds advancing and think the Round of 32 wasn’t that competitive…but let’s be clear, it absolutely was. There was an unanticipated show of strength by fans of Maze and Eve and they pushed Sophie and Ryan to the very limit. I was shocked. Had the contest extended for a few more hours, it’s possible that the region’s #1 seed could’ve gone down in defeat. It was that close. Likewise, Alicia and Leighton from The Sex Lives Of College Girls put up a very strong fight against Harley and Ivy, finishing less than 200 votes behind. Maybe I jinxed Wildmore and Harlivy in my Round of 32 preview?
The shocker of this round was definitely the upset of Villanelle and Eve by Ava and Sara. The Legends edged them out by just 53 votes. This loss is going to have strong reverbations in our bracket contest too: 62% of people picked the couple from Killing Eve to advance.
Of course, now that sets up a match-up between two of our most beloved DC/CW properties: Legends of Tomorrow and Batwoman. I can’t wait to see how that turns out…assuming of course Valerie Anne and Nic don’t murder me in the interim for setting their faves on a collision course.
Opposites Attract Region
#1. Maya and Carina – vs. #5. Lucy and Kate – NCIS: Hawai’i
#3. Bette and Tina – The L Word: Generation Q vs. #7. Alice and Tasha – The L Word: Generation Q
I got a little worried, early in the voting period, because Maya and Carina got off to a slow start…at one point, they were even trailing Taissa and Van by a few hundred votes. But eventually, the #Marina fandom hopped off the sidelines and into the voting pool, delivering a landslide victory for the reigning March Madness champion. In fact, every match-up in this region in the Round of 32 ended with a lopsided victory. Turns out, Roberta Colindrez’s double daddy duty — on Vida and A League Of Their Own — wasn’t enough to persuade you all to vote for Emma and Nico….and Alice and Tasha pulled off the upset.
But those landslides set up some truly difficult match-ups for the Sweet 16: first we’ve got the all Gen Q match-up, as Bette and Tina face Alice and Tasha. Can Alice and Tasha’s last minute reunion drive the fandom to their corner or will Bette and Tina’s wedding — that was literally years in the making — win out? You might think the answer’s an easy one but consider this: Alice and Tasha got more votes than Bette and Tina in the last round, despite facing a much tougher competitor. It truly is anyone’s game.
And then there’s the match-up I’ve been waiting to see #Marina vs. #Kacy. For my money, these are the two best lesbian ships on broadcast television. Both have great storylines and great chemistry between the characters…I don’t know how to choose between the two.
Friends to Lovers Region
#4. Kat and Adena – The Bold Type vs. #8. Ava and Beatrice – Warrior Nun
#3. Syd and Elena – One Day at a Time vs. #7. Dani and Gigi – The L Word: Generation Q
Down goes our first #1 seed! Perennial March Madness favorite, Waverly and Nicole, were ousted in the Round of 32 by March Madness newcomers Ava and Beatrice. And the victory wasn’t even close either. On top of that, Avatrice is going to be another bracket buster: 71% of y’all picked Wayhaught to advance to the Sweet 16. But if the AvaTrice fandom wants to survive until the end, they’re going to have to run through a gauntlet to do it…starting with Kat and Adena. The Bold Type alums squeaked out a victory over Rue and Jules in our closest match-up of the Round 32: in the end, they were separated by just 19 votes.
Another competitive match-up in the Friends to Lovers region was between Alex and Kelly of Supergirl and Dani and Gigi of Generation Q. Admittedly, I was shocked by this outcome — I’d been expecting a landslide victory — because…well, everyone loves Gigi. But the love for Alex and Kelly is real and the Supergirl ship put up a valiant effort. In the end, though, Dani and Gigi pulled out the 29 vote victory. The couple’s fandom will have to show up in force if they want to advance to the Elite 8…because you know Syd and Elena are going to give them a tough challenge.
As usual, you’ve got 48 hours to cast your ballots in the Sweet 16. Remember, this year, you can vote four times over the voting period (or to be more precise once, every 12 hours) so be sure to take advantage of that! We’ll be back on Monday to unveil the Elite 8 and move us one step closer to crowning one couple: the Trope-y Wives!
Autostraddle March Madness 2023: Trope-y Wives – Round of 32
After an amazing set of games on Monday night, the women’s tournament has crowned their Sweet 16. My jaw dropped as the Tennessee Lady Vols put on an offensive clinic in their dominant win over an upstart Toledo club. They’ll meet a Virginia Tech team that narrowly beat them in the Jimmy V Women’s Classic back in December. But these are two completely different teams than those that met in December so who knows which team will prevail in Seattle.
Miami became the second team in the field to take down a number one seed, as Destiny Harden and the Hurricanes bested the Hoosiers by just two points. And while I found myself cheering for North Carolina and Duke on Monday night — a testament to my ACC allegiance — both teams failed to advance to the next round. According to local news reports, their losses meant the earliest end to basketball season in the Triangle since 1996.
But now that the women’s tournament has their Sweet 16, it’s our turn. It’s time to cast your ballots to see which of these 32 couples will advance to the Trope-y Wives Sweet 16! And, boy, if you thought some of those first round match-ups made for difficult decisions, wait until you see the chaos you’ve wrought for the Round of 32.
Forbidden Fruit Region
#1. Emily and Sue – Dickinson vs. #9. Max and Esther – A League of their Own
#2. Cal and Juliette – First Kill vs. #7. Mon and Sam – GAP the Series
#3. Anne and Ann – Gentleman Jack vs. #6. Shelby and Toni – The Wilds
#4. Carson and Greta – A League of their Own vs. #5. Raelle and Scylla – Motherland: Fort Salem
Autostraddle’s March Madness was conceived to be a celebration of representation on-screen but, over time, it’s become a space for mourning. Fans come here to celebrate their favorite ‘ships, of course, but also lament that their stories have ended prematurely…that their futures will be written in fanfic and not portrayed on-screen. This is our fifth year doing this contest and only once have we produced a winner where its future seemed certain. History seems to be repeating itself, as the Forbidden Fruit region has just one remaining show, A League of Their Own, that will return for some new episodes…and even that seems woefully insufficient. Sigh.
Enemies to Lovers Region
#1. Ryan and Sophie – Batwoman vs. #9. Maze and Eve – Lucifer
#2. Harley and Ivy – Harley Quinn vs. #10. Alicia and Leighton – The Sex Lives Of College Girls
#3. Casey and Izzie – Atypical vs. #6. Adora and Catra – She-Ra and the Princesses of Power
#4. Villanelle and Eve – Killing Eve vs. #5. Ava and Sara – Legends of Tomorrow
Admittedly, I fully expected Ryan and Sophie to win this region in a cakewalk…but after your first round of voting in the Enemies to Lovers region, I’m starting to feel a little nervous. Yes, Wildmoore won their first round handily but so did Harlivy (aka Harley and Ivy). In fact, they ended the first round with the exact same number of votes. Maybe this won’t be quite as easy as I thought?
The match-up I’m most looking forward to in this round is between the couples from Killing Eve and Legends of Tomorrow. That’s going to be a tough choice. According to our bracket prognostications, 71% of people predicted this match-up and 62% of people picked [redacted] to win. We’ll see how that prediction holds out in your Round of 32 voting.
Opposites Attract Region
#1. Maya and Carina – vs. #8. Taissa and Van – Yellowjackets
#2. Emma and Nico – Vida vs. #7. Alice and Tasha – The L Word: Generation Q
#3. Bette and Tina – The L Word: Generation Q vs. #11. Mae and George – Feel Good
#5. Lucy and Kate – NCIS: Hawai’i vs. #13. Karen and Hen – 9-1-1
At the start of every March Madness tournament, prognosticators look at the field and assess which #1 seed has the most difficult route to the Final Four. In the women’s tournament, most have given that crown to Virginia Tech who will have to get through Tennesseee and perennial favorite, UCONN, to advance. But the #1 seed with the most difficult route to the Final Four in Autostraddle March Madness? Hands down, Maya and Carina of Station 19. Now, admittedly, that fandom is strong, organized and enthusiastic…but can they overcome all the strong fandoms in this bracket? Bette and Tina? Lucy and Kate? It is not going to be easy.
I’m keeping my eyes on the #2 vs. #7 match-up in this region: did the ending of Gen Q stoke your Alice and Tasha nostalgia enough to pull an upset? Or is Roberta Colindrez’s double daddy duty — on Vida and A League Of Their Own — enough to pull you to Emma and Nico’s side?
Friends to Lovers Region
#1. Nicole and Waverly – vs. #8. Ava and Beatrice – Warrior Nun
#2. Alex and Kelly – Supergirl vs. #7. Dani and Gigi – The L Word: Generation Q
#3. Syd and Elena – One Day at a Time vs. #11. Grace and Anissa – Black Lightning
#4. Kat and Adena – The Bold Type vs. #12. Rue and Jules – Euphoria
I feel like we’ve been here before with last year’s bracket but I remain ASTOUNDED by how much y’all don’t like Sophie and Finley. Admittedly, the Gen Q writers did work overtime to make them unlikeable and unsympathetic but am I the only one that still remembers the good times? #Sinley? Apparently so because they were walloped in their first round match-up, producing an upset win for Rue and Jules. I wasn’t surprised to see WIR go down in the first round to Black Lightning‘s Anissa and Grace — international shows have had a tough time advancing in this competition — but it’s still a show I encourage people to watch, it’s a really great story.
In the most talked about contest of the first round in the Friends to Lovers region, Ava and Beatrice of Warrior Nun pulled off a stunning defeat of Kit and Jade of Willow. For all the consternation about that match-up, most people didn’t seem torn about whom to vote for: #Avatrice won handily in our voting and, in our bracket challenge, 70% of predictions had them advancing to the Round of 32. But here’s the real test: can the power of the #Avatrice fandom overcome the strength of perennial March Madness powerhouse, #WayHaught?
As usual, you’ve got 48 hours to cast your ballots in the Round of 32. Remember, this year, you can vote four times over the voting period (or to be more precise once, every 12 hours) so be sure to take advantage of that! We’ll be back on Friday to unveil the sweet sixteen.
GLAAD Report Confirms Cancellations Are Killing The Vibe For LGBTQ+ TV Characters
I’m not sure if you’ve heard, but a lot of LGBTQ+ inclusive programming has been cancelled lately, much of it after only a single season in the sun. Cancel-happy streaming networks have gotten into the habit of axing the majority of their series after one or two seasons, leaving many of our most beloved LGBTQ+ stories adrift on a vast ocean of despair, sinking ever-closer to the earth’s core while fan-funded billboards and airplane banners fly desperately overhead. GLAAD’s 2022-2023 “Where We Are On TV” Report, released today and covering series that premiered or will premier a season between June 1, 2022, and May 31, 2023, dedicates a solid chunk of its PDF to highlighting this alarming trend.
GLAAD found that within this period, there have already been 54 LGBTQ-inclusive series cancellations, which alone will eliminate 140 LGBTQ+ characters from their tally, or 24% of all characters GLAAD counted. They also noted the elimination of 35 LGBTQ characters who we’ll never see again ’cause their show was an anthology or miniseries.
Also, it appears final edits of this report went through before Disney+ cancelled Willow and before it was leaked that Prime Video is possibly planning to provide us with a meager four-episode final season for A League of Their Own (a decision we’re still praying isn’t final). If we add ALOTO to their tally, that’s 11 more regular/recurring characters on the chopping block. If The L Word Generation Q doesn’t get a fourth season pick-up, we’ll lose an additional 15. Although Freevee’s offerings weren’t counted in GLAAD’s tallys, I just want to add that if we loose High School, we’ll be losing another big queer TV show. All of those losses will be of LGBTQ+ women and trans characters specifically. “Streaming services debuting shows with large ensemble LGBTQ casts and then quickly canceling those shows is a consistent issue across all platforms,” GLAAD points out, noting that there were 11 LGBTQ+ characters on Peacock’s cancelled Queer As Folk reboot alone.
The gender breakdown of characters on canceled series is similar to the gender breakdown of characters overall, but those numbers would obviously shift significantly if any of the aforementioned cancellations occur. Still, it was interesting for me, a person who does not pay tons of attention to gay men on TV, that so many of their shows have also been hit with cancellations.
While several broadcast shows are also counted amongst the cancellations, these are mostly shows that had reached their natural death after relatively long lives amid this wretched earth, for example Riverdale, A Million Little Things and New Amsterdam. Monarch is one of the few single-season network cancellations named in the report, but the thing about Monarch is that it was very bad.
GLAAD highlights streaming and premium cable’s cancellations as being related to those formats’ shifts towards shorter seasons and binge-viewing, leading to more and more series getting canceled after one or two seasons. “Many of the series getting cut are LGBTQ inclusive programs,” GLAAD writes in their report, “leaving a large demographic of viewers constantly searching for new programs only for them to ultimately be canceled before a satisfying conclusion.” In August 2020 — even before the past two years of rampant cancellation sprees — The Ringer wrote that the average length of streaming TV series was shrinking to lasting between three or four seasons, “a development that’s changing television as a whole.”
As any passionate binge-viewer of concluded programs can attest, a series that only managed one or two seasons often holds little appeal in the archives as well, especially when those seasons only consisted of 6-8 episodes to begin with. You could binge the entirety of Hulu’s Reboot in less time than it takes to watch Avatar: Way of Water. Last week, Variety reported that “frequent TV show cancellations are starting to change how U.S. viewers decide what to watch,” according to an internal survey that found a quarter of U.S adults wait for the streaming originals’ finale before starting, “citing fears over the show’s potential cancellation with an unresolved ending (27%) or because they do not want to wait for the next season after a cliffhanger (24%).” 46% of Americans sometimes or always wait for a series finale before they even begin to binge it.
HBO Max has also debuted an alarming practice of eliminating many cancelled shows from its platform altogether, making LGBTQ+-inclusive programming like Genera+tion, Love Life, Westworld and 12 Dates of Christmas actually impossible to find. (Westworld, at least, is being offloaded to a third-party free ad-supported streaming service, TBD.)
GLAAD recommends to networks that the best way to offset the loss of these stories is to “prioritize green-lighting new series with LGBTQ characters, as well as providing existing series a full marketing budget and plan comparable to other titles of their same genres.” I would add to that that they also market to LGBTQ+ audiences — especially directly to their niche! I’m so tired of seeing shows aimed at LGBTQ+ women or trans people run ads with gay male websites or mainstream publications while eschewing this specific website altogether, and then throwing up their hands when the show doesn’t do the numbers they’d hoped for. Even with so many cancellations, the field is crowded, and one review often gets missed by the average Autostraddle reader — whereas a thorough ad campaign would not.
Overall, GLAAD found some promising trends: like that over half of all characters counted are people of color and that there are more asexual characters than ever. But LGBTQ+ characters were also down overall by 6% from last year’s report.
You can read GLAAD’s entire Where We Are On TV Report here.