Holigay Gift Guide: Things Marketed To My Former Gender That I Actually Want

I originally set out on a mission to prove to the world (you, Autostraddle reader) that gender is in fact not binary and marketing departments don’t have to be so gender-obsessed when they curate holiday gift guides. I thought I would galvanize Big Marketing into releasing lists of dope gifts without once mentioning the gender of its intended recipient. I fear I may have done the opposite.

After wading through over 20 list guides designed for women this holiday season, I came to a disappointing conclusion: I don’t want any of that shit. They may as well have been called “72 Things to Gift Your Female So She’ll Forget You Liked That One Girl’s Beach Selfie in August,” “45 Ways to Use Consumerism to Get Laid this Christmas,” or “60 Gifts to Make Sure Your Girl Looks like All of Your Bros’ Girls in 2024.” Seriously, are women even contributing to these lists or is it just men rubbing their greedy paws together, scheming the new model of Girlfriend for the next year to come?

If this endeavor accomplished anything, it was affirming my gender as a trans dude and reminding me to noodle a little longer on what I’m doing about that fact (I’m busy, okay!?). I spent hours scouring these lists — most of which were the same items over and over again — and had a very hard time finding things I’d actually want. This was the case for me when I was a girl; every year my mom or a boyfriend would ask what I wanted, and every year I’d close my eyes and throw a dart at one of these lists.

I was always bad at being a girl but now, with inflation, fast fashion, and heightened capitalism…I am so glad I figured out I was trans years ago. I’d be cozied up on Long Island with a ring on my finger, a baby in my belly, 14 matcha whisks, and a seltzer maker to boot.

Despite all this, I managed to pick out 10 items I actually would want from the many women’s gift guides of 2023. Enjoy!

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CE CRAFT Smells Like Travis Kelce Candle ($22)

Listen, I know who this candle is marketed for. My argument here is why wouldn’t I want my home to smell like a 6”5 well-groomed NFL player the entire world is obsessed with right now?

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Cloud Slippers ($24)

I’m going to be so honest: I happen to know a guy who owns these, and he’s really cool. So I figured if I got them, I’d also be really cool.

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Dagne Dover Toiletry Bag ($65)

My current toiletry situation is kind of just throw-my-face-wash-in-my-Carhartt-backpack so really, anything other than that would be great. Plus, my girlfriend thinks this is sexy.

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Anastasia Beverly Hills Brow Wiz Pencil ($25)

Until I start testosterone, I’m going to have to get creative with how I take my eyebrows to Michael Imperioli-level bushy. Full disclosure: When I was a teenage girl, I used to get my eyebrows waxed at Anastasia’s in New Jersey.

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Quince Carry-On Hardshell Suitcase ($130)

I feel like it’s obvious that hardshell suitcases are for guys and softshell suitcases are for girls. Who do I call about this?

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TUSHY Classic 3.0 ($99)

I’m getting top surgery at the end of January, and my girlfriend and I aren’t quite at the “Wipe My Ass For Me” level of our relationship.

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POW Wonder Matcha ($35)

Now, I did my due diligence and went through all of the men’s gift guides, and not one had psychedelics included. Instead, they had more manly drugs like an 8-ball of cocaine and a case of Whipits.

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Williams Sonoma Le Creuset Fondue Pot ($380)

The only text accompanying this one was “Girl Dinner!” which feels like a huge missed opportunity to pander to the fantasy football jocks and game night nerds who will undoubtedly be serving queso every Wednesday night.

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Theragun Mini ($160)

Going to use this bad boy when I strain my muscles doing MAN things like baking all day long and doing multiple loads of laundry in NYC. And not…for…anything…else.

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LEGO Icons Orchid ($40)

Finally, a LEGO set for girls!

Holigay Gift Guide: Goblin Mode

Some of us never left “goblin mode” behind in 2022, when it arose via a doctored headline featuring the appropriately bisexual Julia Fox. Goblin mode, at its heart, is about shirking societal expectations and disobeying authority. The goblin is not straight, does not dream of labor, and likes what they like without apology. Sometimes this looks like wrapping themselves in a burrito of blankets and sleeping all day, and sometimes it looks like thoughtfully caring for their space and filling it with crafts. And listen, I’m not going to stereotype myself and other queers by saying that we’re goblins. But we’re often kinda goblins. We have executive dysfunction and seasonal depression! We need to decompress! We don’t necessarily WANT to socialize! But we love you. We do.

So, below, we have gifts for those in your life going goblin mode this season or all seasons, presents for the filthy gremlins you picked up on your quest, and offerings for the absolute trolls who are near and dear to your heart.

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Goblin Gifts Under $30

First of all, I have it on good authority that part of going goblin mode can involve this thing called Squishmallows. There is an endless array of these little guys, each with their own story. Your dear goblin may enjoy this mushroom in a scarf, just as a thought! And what is a gremlin, a goblin, a troll if they aren’t causing chaos? They may reject labels, but I think they’ll make an exception for the Autostraddle Gay Chaos socks. Plus, it’s accurate! Speaking of gay chaos, your goblin is either a) consistently dehydrated or b) something known as a Beverage Goblin, or one who drinks at least three different beverages (one for caffeination, one for hydration, one for fun) at once! If you’re lucky enough to get some one-on-one time with the goblin, then there is nothing that communicates the feelings of coziness and moistness simultaneously like this lightly competitive yet soothing game where you collect mushrooms in the forest and cook them in a cast iron pan to earn points.

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Goblin Gifts $31-$50

We started to get into this with the squishmallows, but a goblin is aggressive about their coziness, fiercely protective of their lair, and maybe even in need of some sensory aids. You could get them a weighted blanket, literally be a hero. Or what about a bed tray? If you want to be extra cute, you could turn the bed tray into a whole gift situation by adding some of their favorite snacks, maybe the tumbler, too. Finally, they’re not always reading or watching while cozy. Often, you’ll find a goblin crafting or taking up a new hobby here and there until they’ve accrued a whole library of hobby supplies. So, why not a self-contained project? This kit contains everything a goblin needs to crochet cacti friends. They get an activity…and then some pretty cute decor!

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Goblin Gifts $50+

If you want them to up their game in the bedroom, you can gift your goblin who’s already rotting in bed a reading pillow! Also great for gaming, crocheting, scheming comfortably. And if you thought that first sentence there was going to be sexual, why not get a vibrator that looks like a cute lil monster…for your cute lil monster? Lastly, a goblin is a deep, emotional being at times, too. Like ogres and onions, they have layers. And did you, my friend with excellent taste, know that you can sign someone up to receive a new book of poetry every month from Bluestockings Collective? Because you can! And just because you can, means that maybe you should.

Holigay Gift Guide: What To Buy the Muscle Masc in Your Life

Famously, I got into weightlifting last year for one very simple reason and then it became my whole personality. What I’ve learned over the last 15 months is that while weightlifting and powerlifting are simple sports, since you’re basically just picking stuff up and putting it back down, the gear you need to perform your best in the gym becomes more important (and expensive!) as your journey progresses. If you want to keep adding weight to the bar, you have to set yourself up for success and some of that success comes from choosing the items for your body that will give you the correct amount of support (and leverage) to keep doing that.

I will say, though, as someone who didn’t go all in all at once, the weightlifter in your life doesn’t need everything right away. I’m pragmatic, so mostly I think it’s good to do a thing for a while and see how much you like it before fully committing. When I was thinking about writing this gift guide for other lifters, I realized it would be beneficial to reflect that here  — you’ll see it’s broken down in different stages, so you can judge where the lifter in your life currently is. In addition to that, I’m including some tighter budget items and more size-inclusive options as well, because I don’t think anyone should be kept from being their best self in the gym just because of finances or lack of available larger sizes.

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For When They’re Just Getting Into It

When I first started training, I had a beat up old cloth backpack, a pair of Reebok running shoes, and some loose-fitting clothes that I didn’t mind using for the gym. Obviously, at that point, I didn’t realize how important training would become to me but if I could go back in time, I’d give myself this stuff regardless.

A good gym bag that doesn’t cost over $100 is hard to find, and the lifter in your life — no matter what their level is — doesn’t need a bag that costs over $100. The Adidas Defender is perfect: It has a large main compartment, a lot of pockets (including two options for where to store shoes), and it’s waterproof. As far as activewear goes, I’m really into the shorts and pants RASKOL puts out. Their classic bodybuilding shorts, performance shorts, and “dump covers” come in a variety of colors and styles, and recently, they came out with a line of denim-like pants and jorts you can work out in. Mostly though, I train in these Hane’s bike shorts because they’re inexpensive and they stay tight-ish on my body. It’s essential to have a good, flat shoe when you’re performing heavy lifts, so that’s where barefoot shoes really come in handy. Many brands of barefoot shoes are over $150 for some reason, but not Xero Prios. They come in under $100, and they’re perfect. Even my strength coach got on the Prio train after I showed up to the gym with them.

The last thing I’d suggest is to get the lifter in your life started on some important strength-building supplements. With weightlifting, your diet is just as important as your training so it’s important for the lifter in your life to up their protein intake. BodyTech is Vitamin Shoppe’s home brand and personally, I love their whey protein isolate because it’s relatively cheap, often on sale, and tastes good. If I want to splurge, I’ll usually go for something from Ghost’s line of whey proteins. My favorite is the Nutter Butter, but the Cinnabon is great, too. And since you’re already at the supplement store anyways, you should pick up a 100-day supply of Creatine Monohydrate for them. It’ll aid in muscle growth and performance and help their muscles recover after stress.

Now That They’ve Been in It for a Minute

I don’t usually train with headphones anymore because my strength gym is small enough that we can control the music playing when we want to but I know not everyone has that precious luxury. I’ve been eyeing these Soundcore Space One Headphones for a while after I saw a couple of other lifters recommend them due to their quality and durability, and they’re most definitely on my list this year for that reason.

Now that I’m getting into extremely heavy lifts in my training, I’m understanding the importance of using equipment that helps keep your body more stable and less likely to fold under the pressure of that heavy lift. Not only that, but we also can’t predict the stability of our joints until we really put them to the test through strength training (and other kinds of sports, I assume). Two things I’d highly recommend getting for the lifter in your life once they’ve decided lifting is truly for them are a powerlifting belt and some wrist wraps. Powerlifting belts help lifters brace their core for heavy lifts, helps reduce the impact on their lower back, and prevents lifters from hyperextending their back while lifting so eventually. It becomes essential. With the powerlifting belt, you have a few different options but mostly it comes down to buckle type. Personally, I prefer the old school weightlifting look of regular buckled belts, and this Pioneer belt has the added bonus of having off-set holes that make it easier to get the perfect fit. However, I know a lot of people prefer lever belts because they can just quickly pop them open when they’re done lifting, and the SBD lever belts are the gold standard because they’re made well and come in extended sizes. Wrist wraps are similarly stabilizing, but specifically for your wrists. Wrists are complex joints and a lot can go wrong with them in a lift before lifters even fully realize it Titan THP Wrist Wraps are the first ones I bought, and I’m going to keep using them for as long as I possibly can.

A good pair of deadlift socks is not as much of a necessity when it comes to performing better, but they might save the lifter in your life some shin pain. A lot of times, our shins get a little beat up from deadlifting, especially if they’re pulling their deadlifts in a particular way or if their gym has older equipment with rougher grooves in the bars. A7 deadlift socks come in a lot of different colors and styles, they’re not too costly, and they’re suitable for competition so they can be used in the gym and on the platform.

Oh, Now They’re Really Cookin’

As the lifter in your life gets more serious about weightlifting and powerlifting, they’re probably often going to be thinking about two things: safely adding as much weight to the bar as possible and training for competition.

If they’ve already most or all of the stuff in the previous section, and it seems like they can’t possibly need or want more stuff, you’re wrong. There are other things they need and want and most likely covet from time to time. Squatting is the most technical lift in powerlifting, and it can also be the hardest to perfect and to overload. (Trust me, I know from personal experience.) Barbell squats demand a lot of the body, and by now, you’ve probably heard the lifter in your life complain a few times about day-after muscle soreness as a result of squatting. So, why not help them do it a little easier and safer? Compression knee sleeves are a good place to start helping because knee sleeves help blood flow to the knee while also keeping it warm, stable, and aligned as lifters squat. That stability can go a long way in terms of preventing injury and improving lifters’ squats overall. There are many options for compression knee sleeves, especially now as weightlifting and powerlifting are gaining some popularity, but I think keeping it simple is best. The Gym Reapers 7 millimeter knee sleeves are simple but also kind of badass because of the design, and compared to a lot of others, they’re super affordable. Personally, I have my sights set on the Iron Rebel performance knee sleeves this year because they have extended sizes and will fit me better than any others.

Speaking of Iron Rebel, if the lifter in your life has been throwing around the idea of competing at a powerlifting meet, I highly recommend their All-Star Unisex Singlet. Not only do they come in extended sizes, but they’re also high quality, not too expensive, and have the perfect inseam length. I just competed in my first meet using this singlet, and believe me, I was happy I went with it. And now that the lifter in your life is really serious, they’re likely going to need some squat shoes, especially if they have any ankle mobility issues (which many of us do!). Squat shoes help make squats more efficient by allowing for even weight distribution throughout the whole foot. Squat shoes can be extremely expensive, sometimes costing upwards of $300, which seems too exorbitant to me. Adidas kind of fills the gap for budget squat shoes by offering two models — the Powerlift 5 and the Adipower 3 — at different price points to fit your financial needs.

Lastly, listen, the lifter in your life is probably going to eventually want some of their own smelling salts. Smelling salts aren’t my favorite thing, but I have witnessed how much they help other lifters get hyped and focused for completing big, max effort lifts. I see Ward Smelling Salts being thrown around a lot as the vanguard for good smelling salts, so I would say start there. They’d make a great stocking stuffer.

Some Extra Stuff They Might Want or Need

If you’re noticing the lifter in your life getting more and more serious about their training as the weeks go by, you might also see that commitment leaking into their wardrobe. I don’t have a ton of lifting-themed shirts, but most of the ones I do have come from Kinda Fit, Kinda Fat. I just love the concept of the brand: That lifting and fitness are for anyone, at any size. Also, they come up with some clever graphic t-shirt concepts that I think are fun to wear.

I realize I didn’t talk about it much overall in this guide, but readiness and recovery are critical parts of weightlifting and powerlifting. Luckily, there is one compact tool that can help the lifter in your life accomplish both: A foam roller. Foam rollers can be used before a workout during a warm up to help loosen your muscles and increase the circulation in their body, which could lead to better results throughout their training that day overall. Usually, I use this OPTP Black Axis Firm Foam Roller at home after training to help prevent myofascial adhesions from forming around new muscle growth and to help prevent soreness the following day.

One thing I didn’t know before I decided to sign up for a powerlifting meet with my good friend a few months ago was that you need to be a member of a powerlifting association in order to compete. There are two big powerlifting associations in the U.S. — United States Powerlifting Association and U.S.A. Powerlifting — and most meets (there are tons of meets per year) are hosted and overseen by them. Membership in an association is almost $100 for the year, so it might be a nice gift for the lifter in your life if they’ve been thinking about competing. Before you give this gift, however, just be aware of some issues with participating in powerlifting competitions and in being part of powerlifting organizations. Like most competitive sports, powerlifting is segregated by gender classes in addition to weight and age classes. The USAPL explicitly bans trans lifters from competing in the competitions they moderate, and the USPA allows trans lifters to compete in the non-drug tested division of their competitions. I agree that this is wrong and should be changed (and I have expressed my discomfort with that aspect of competing in a piece I wrote about training for competition), but I’m including it here in case the lifter in your life has expressed some desire to compete. If they have, these are currently the only options available for local, state, and national competition. And even with that, there will always be limitations in regards to which competitions are available in your area or not.

This last one is a different kind of recommendation than the others, but I think it deserves a spot on the list regardless. I know a lot of lifters, from absolute novices to professionals, would agree when I say that a good strength coach is an essential part of progressing in a weightlifting or powerlifting journey. Simply put, strength coaches have the knowledge, skills, and technical know-how to help the lifter in your life crush and surpass their goals while also helping them avoid injury as much as possible and learn how to perfect their lifts. Some sessions with a strength coach in your area might be worth looking into if the lifter in your life has been feeling like they need a little guidance. I’d suggest finding someone by contacting strength gyms and “barbell gyms” in your area to see who’s available for this kind of coaching and to see if they offer any packages you pay for in advance.

Holigay Gift Guide: Upgrading Your Home Bar

My home bar could use some love. None of my glassware matches, which I’d love to claim is a fun, kitschy aesthetic choice but is really something that happened unintentionally as individual glasses broke and left their siblings behind. Sad, but true. Now, though, because it’s the holiday season, my home bar is getting way more attention than it gets all year — and I’m scrambling! Chances are, your home bar is also getting a lot of attention. Whether you’re hosting or going to an event, beverages are at the forefront of many minds this time of year. Here are some ways you can amp up your home bar game in time for the holiday season!

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Invest In Glassware

Glassware is one of the best (and easiest) ways to upgrade your cocktail game. I learned the hard way that a martini sipped out of a repurposed yogurt jar does not taste the same as the exact same martini sipped out of an actual martini glass! I don’t know what alchemy (science?) is behind this difference, but I do know it’s worth it to invest in glassware.

I haven’t been able to stop thinking about the martini glass linked above since I saw it in one of those pantry stores. The glass olive is surprisingly realistic and would look SO cute nestled amongst a duo of Castelvetranos, but honestly, much cheaper martini glasses exist and will probably serve you just as well. If you’re prone to spills (no shame!), or if you’d just rather drink a daiquiri, coupes are a wiser choice. If you’re looking for a general purpose wine glass, I think tiny cups are a much prettier alternative to many of the “universal” wine glasses I’ve seen. Sure, they’re stemless, but the ones above are whisper-thin and somehow also dishwasher-safe. Also, they’re $2 each!

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Try Some Non-Alcoholic/Low ABV Options

Whether you’re a drinker or not, I think it’s important to have nonalcoholic choices included in your home bar — especially if you’re hosting parties! Not everyone drinks, and it’s nice to have more than just soda on offer for folks abstaining. NA spirits are one way to bring the same level of thoughtfulness that we bring to craft cocktails into the mocktail space, as are NA aperitifs. Even for drinkers, both can be subbed into traditional cocktail recipes for a lower-ABV alt. If you’re leaning into the mocktail space, both craft soda and alcohol-free bitters are worthwhile investments (some bitters have alcohol in them!). If you’re more of a beer drinker, there are some surprisingly good nonalcoholic beers. I was halfway through a bottle of Heineken 0.0 at a party before I realized it was the nonalcoholic version!

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Garnish Everything

A cocktail (or mocktail, for that matter) isn’t complete without a garnish! You probably already have a peeler for citrus peels, but if it’s dull, it might be time to get a Y peeler instead. They’re not significantly more expensive than traditional peelers, but they’re way easier to handle. Plus, they can help you get a less pithy peel. Fancy salt is a great way to change up the ordinary — consider black salt for your next margarita! Dried citrus slices are a fun cocktail topper, and you can even make them yourself. Maybe something to consider if you get your hands on a blood orange! Reusable cocktail picks are another way to add some personality to a beverage (for a splurge, maybe this zodiac-inspired set), as are glass straws.

85 LGBTQ+ Owned Businesses and Queer Shops To Support This Holiday Season!

If you’re looking for LGBTQ-owned stores to put your hard-earned money where your gay mouth is, boy do we have the thing for you! This list highlights just some of the many stores produced by lesbian, queer and bisexual women and trans people of all genders, as that is the target audience of our website. I originally wrote this post in 2016 and updated it for 2023…  there are a billion new queer-owned stores out there now, so this is by no means all-encompassing — but it’s a start!

Criteria for inclusion:

• Store must have a website/storefront independent of etsy/society6/etc. (We have many other guides that are focused on etsy sellers!)
• Store must be an independent entity, rather than merchandise for a specific musician or celebrity or magazine. (Except for our own obviously)
• Store must offer products you can order online and have delivered to your home for you to hold in your hands.
• The store must be active — as in, appears to be mostly or recently stocked, has social media accounts that have been active within the past year, etc.

If your business is on this list and you’d like to inquire about advertising, hit up em [at] forthem [dot] com. If you wanna join our A+ marketplace and offer discounts to our members, hit up nico [at] forthem [dot] com. We offer discounted rates to queer-owned businesses!

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The Autostraddle Store

The merchandise wing of the best website in the history of the internet features apparel, enamel pins and other cool shit featuring illustrations and designs from independent queer artists. All profits come right back here to fund the words we write and the things we do.

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All She Wrote Books

Somerville, MA

All She Wrote is “an intersectional, inclusive feminist and queer bookstore that supports, celebrates, and amplifies underrepresented voices through our thoughtfully curated selection of books spanning across all genres.”

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Ash & Chess

Richmond, VA

Ash & Chess is a joyful, eye-popping stationary shop run by a queer and trans couple in Richmond, VA. They “create greeting cards and art prints that are bold, retro color palettes and they often use their artwork to make a political statement and to uplift the queer community.” You can also buy patches, t-shirts, candles and more!

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Automic Jewelry

Automic makes “radically wearable” jewelry for people of all genders and bodies. They hire size-inclusive, non-cis and non-white models and don’t photoshop a thing. All pieces are made from reclaimed gold and put in recyclable packaging.

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Babeland

New York, NY & Seattle, WA

A+ members get $25 off orders of $125+

In  1993, sex-positive lesbian feminists Claire Cavanah and Rachel Venning, disappointed by the lack of female-friendly sex shops in Seattle, decided to launch their own. They succeeded! With locations in Seattle and New York; Babeland’s selection of sex toys and educational resources remains an industry standard. And we get a 20% commission on every Babeland sale made through our affiliate links!

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barb

This “community of non-conformists, game changers, and everyday heroes changing the face of hair and beauty” sells products for short hair of all textures and apparel to go along with it.

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Bella Books

The “premiere publisher of vibrant and irresistible fiction for and about lesbians” offers over 5,000 lesbian books and e-books in their online store, making it the largest website for lesbian readers. Founded in 1999 with the help of Naiad Press owners Barbara Grier and Donna McBride, Linda Hill has been the president of Bella Books since 2005.

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Black Market Vintage

Brooklyn, NY

This “curated love story” of a shop (the brick-and-mortar is in Bedford-Stuyvesant) grows out of a commitment from the queer couple who owns it (Kiyanna Stewart & Jannah Handy) to “build a collection that mirrors multifarious Black cultural expression, rooted in our love for Black people, Black culture and our own lived experiences.” As cultural historians, their store is stocked with vintage posters, literature, clothing, art, houseware/decor, furniture and other delightful ephemera.

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Black Queer Magic

VBM, LMSW is a self-taught jeweler who offers “handmade jewelry and workshop facilitations to aid in the adornment and reclamation of Black LGBTQ bodies” through BQMNY LLC. They work in a variety of materials, including custom-made crystal jewelry.

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Bluestockings Cooperative

New York, NY

Bluestockings is New York’s only queer, trans and sex worker run bookstore. The bookstore is organized with categories that make sense to us all: “Intro to Intersectional Feminism” “Gender Studies” “State Repression & Resistance.” Its online store is fully stocked with the latest releases in the topics nearest & dearest to your heart as well as with stationary, notebooks, tarot decks and more.

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Bold Strokes Books

Since 2004, Bold Strokes Books has been devoted to producing a diverse collection of lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender and queer general and genre fiction. The company is run by Len Barot with Senior Editor Sandy Lowe. Len is perhaps better known by her pen name, Radclyffe, with which she has published some of the most beloved titles in lesbian romance.

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Both & Apparel

A+ Members get 10% off

Finnegan Shepard, the trans founder of Both&, works in conversation with their community to ethically and sustainably produce evidence-based designs that exist outside of the traditional binary fit and sizing system, with small-batch, research-informed capsule drops that are accessible to all humans including transmasculine or gnc-identified people.

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Bowtie Behavior

Robbie Williams founded Bowtie Behavior in 2014 when unable to find bowties for her friend’s bridal shower that were both affordable and fit with her personal style. She made her own, got a lot of positive feedback, and thus Bowtie Behavior was born, with an “intent to create pieces that are bold and flavorful.”

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Brownie Points

Founder Rinny Perkins is known for their 70s-inspired collages and zines, and their shop celebrates showing up as your true self and staying honest about dating, sexuality and mental health. They aim for sustainability in all of their products and packaging.

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Brujita Skincare

This Latina LA-based brand “celebrates the misfits that the natural beauty market left behind.” It sources most of its ingredients from Mexico City, making sustainable, organic and unrefined masks, cleansers, hand care, healing balms, lip balms and more. You can take the Brujitas Skin Quiz to find out what products are best for you.

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Carmen Liu Lingerie

Intimates by and for trans folks and non-binary people like bras, bralettes, panties, tucking/flattening underwear. Carmen Liu Kids offers briefs, journals, workbooks and tees for trans girls and non-binary children with the aim of providing “children with the stepping stones to finding themselves, in a supportive, validating experience.”

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Charis Books and More

Decatur, GA

Located in Decatur, Georgia, the South’s oldest independent feminist bookstore has been “celebrating radical and independent voices in the heart of the south since 1974!” You can support Charis with personalized Charis merch, too: hoodies, tees, mugs and totes.

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Chromat

Chromat is high fashion lingerie with a tomboy femme twist and has attracted fans such as Beyonce! Becca McCharen-Tran, the experimental brand’s designer, is queer, and the online store has sportswear and swimwear, too. This past fall, they collaborated with Tourmaline for a “lifesaving” swimwear show.

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 Coco & Breezy

Corianna and Brianna are twin sisters who grew up in Minnesota and always had a passion for fashion. Together they founded Coco & Breezy, a “cutting edge eyewear brand based in New York City that aims to reach new fashion heights and introduce fashion connoisseurs all over the world to their unique sense of style and original accessories.” Prince, Lady Gaga, Beyoncé and and Rihanna are fans, and their online interface enables you to try on their frames virtually.

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Collarbone Jewelry

A+ members get 15% off purchases of $75 or more

Cat Luck uses brass, bronze, base metals, raw stones and whimsical charms to handcraft a fashion jewelry collection that speaks to all walks of life. CAT LUCK brings together forged, minimalist, geometric, and personal pieces for humans of all gender expressions.

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Common Dear

Oklahoma City, OK

This bright, energetic online and IRL retail space is curated with women-owned, 2SLGBTQIA+-owned and BIPOC-owned brands that care about empowerment and making the world a better, more equal place for everyone. They stock the most delightful sweaters I have ever seen and assorted apparel, home goods, candles, accessories and so much more!

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Common Heir

Common Heir is a QWOC-owned clean beauty company for people looking to cultivate beauty in the world and transform traditions with clean, plastic-free, high-performance skincare. They sell serums, a facial sculptor and candles.

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Culture Flock

Springfield, MN

Since 2013, the Culture Flock founders have been “designing and creating colorful and inclusive apparel, goods, and accessories for friends of every shape, size, color, gender, and orientation.” With a brick-and-mortar store in Missouri, their online store has collections focused on homebodies, activists, zodiac lovers, star-gazers and artists.

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Dapper Boi

Dapper Boi got its start with a kickstarter to begin manufacturing slim-straight, androgynous jeans. Founded by Vicky and Charisse Pasche, “partners in business / crime / life,” Dapper Boi wants to “create an androgynous clothing line that is fashionable, functional, affordable and accessible to all.” They sell pants, button-ups, hats, socks, jackets and everything you could imagine putting on your body!

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Doll Parts Collective

Seattle, WA

Located in Seattle and launched during the pandemic, Doll Parts is “all about color, unique design, original pairings, and working with existing materials.” They offer “vintage clothing and housewares, handmade goods, and other sustainably sourced products.”

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Dom + Bomb

Spokane, WA

This Black-woman and queer-woman owned size-inclusive fashion brand is “fighting fatphobia and the gender binary through fashion” with shirts, hats and accessories. They also offer tailoring and personal styling by appointment.

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Domestic Domestic

Little Rock, AK

“We bring to you fine products with attention to quality, function and design,” boasts the website for Heather Smith’s Arkansas-based boutique. “Nothing is added without reason. The objects we curate tell a story and have a history. They’re potential heirlooms, unique in type, simply determined to be the best damn stuff on the market.”

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Early to Bed

Chicago, IL

Founded by Searah Deysach in Chicago over 20 years ago, Early2Bed was intended to be a sex toy shop that felt “friendly, educational and fun.”

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Equal Love

Puerto Rico based company Equal Love is “a genderless line of natural products with purpose” for “people who want high quality personal care and home products that allow any person to have a healthy and confident lifestyle.” Their exclusive essential oil blend is used across a line of personal care products.

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Equator Coffees & Teas

Bay Area, CA

The first-ever LGBT owned business to be named a “Small Business of the Year” by the U.S Small Business Association, Equator Coffees & Teas was started 21 years ago as a coffee roastery by life partners Brooke McDonnell and Helen Russell. It now has become “one of the few fully integrated coffee companies in the U.S.”

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Fempower Beauty

This lesbian-owned ethical beauty company specializes in lipstick and aims to “heal the harms of the beauty industry with luxury products that affirm and uplift.” Their products connect beauty with mental health and positive affirmations, and they also sell accessories and bags.

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Find Yr/Self Boxes

Focusing in mental health-focused self-care boxes, this queer-owned company supports the universal need of good mental health with curated packages for situations including depression, post-partum and being desperately in need of sleep!

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Flavt Streetwear

FLAVNT Streetwear is an independent clothing brand based in Austin, Texas created with “the goal of creating clothes that promote confidence and pride.” They sell binders, stickers and sweats and run fundraisers for organizations like Black Lives Matter as well as individual trans people who need money for surgery.

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For Them

Founded by queer non-binary actor / producer / entrepreneur Kylo Freeman, For Them is a business pretty close to our hearts because they literally own us now but we liked them before that obviously! An honoree in the Fast Company 2022 Innovation by Design Awards, For Them binders were created to compress without sacrificing the wearer’s health or comfort. Their binders have a weightless feel with a rotatable neckline, a bounty of color options and a unique customization survey that ensures customers get the right binder for their body. The Binder MAX, debuted this year, offers more compression. You can also get a  For Them gift card that’ll enable your loved one to do the survey to get their ideal binder!

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Freck Beauty

On her super hip and playful vegan + cruelty-free line of products, inspired by founder Remi’s unique vision and diverse East LA neighborhood: “Freck stands for those who care about ingredients, respect the process and seek self-expression without rules. This community born from a single offbeat idea for a freckle cosmetic has flourished into a movement of trailblazers and rule-breakers who thrive on individualism and always find the courage to experiment.”

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Galaxy Brain Designs

Galaxy Brain Design is a queer-, woman-owned small business selling art, gifts, + home goods for folks that love a wikipedia deep dive, boozy brunch, or therapeutic breakthrough! They primarily make about queerness, mental health, and “what it means to be a good person in a broken society.” Major motifs include plants, space, and other natural elements,

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Girls Will Be Boys

A+ Members get 30% off

GWBB Girls Will Be Boys is active loungewear inspired by today’s modern tomboy. They focus on making high quality apparel that boldly fits all shapes and sizes.

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Good Light

Developed by David Yi, Good Light is a “personal care brand that believes in beauty beyond the binary” with “efficacious, yet gentle personal care products” including pimple patches, water cleansers with clean, dreamy style.

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Good Vibrations

multiple locations in California & Massachusetts

A+ Members get $25 off orders $125+ 

Since the first store opened in San Francisco in 1977, Good Vibrations has been providing “high-quality products, education, and information that promotes sexual health, pleasure and empowerment.” They were one of a handful of pioneers building a sex toy store that wasn’t hiding — clean, well-lit, sex-positive and easy to browse. Now Good Vibrations has eight stores, a wholesale private label and an innovative online store. Plus, they give Autostraddle 20% back on every purchase you make!

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Haute Butch

Selling “fierce dapper stud style” and “tomboy-style clothes,” Haute Butch features suits, vests, watches, belts, footwear, briefs and so much more at their online store. Karen Roberts, a U.S. Navy veteran, opened her store in April 2012 with a focus on becoming “a clothing, footwear and lifestyle destination for butch women, studs, bois and trans men who prefer ‘menswear’ inspired finishes.”

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Hella Thrifty

Avid thrift shopper and 80s/90s fashion blogger Dannie Cherie started Hella Thrifty to exchange and share unique thrift finds — but now the company has its own 80s/90s inspired original collections including tees, jackets and hats!

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Hey Mavens!

Hey Mavens sells lingerie in seizes from XXS to 10X that celebrate individual expression and diversity with products in bold colors and unique prints.

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Hinterland Empire

Portland, OR & Occidental, CA

“Seeing a gaping hole in the world of clothing for adventurous, badass human beings, we created Hinterland,” said lesbian couple Jolene and Trinia, who set out initially “to design empowering, irreverent imagery and print that onto American-made clothing.” Now Hinterlands is equally devoted to making and selling really great coffee and related accessories.

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House of Intuition

Los Angeles, CA

Lesbian couple Marlene Vargas and Alex Naranjo opened their first HOI in 2010, selling crystals and candles. Now, they’ve got six locations selling magic candles, beauty products and all the crystals a queer could ever dream of — and for the holidays, sign-specific and purpose-specific gift boxes will fit right under your tree.

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Humboldt House

Chicago, IL

This feminist store with a kickass team in Chicago features “a carefully-curated selection of locally found furniture and goods, as well as the work of local jewelry designers, ceramic artists, and apothecary makers” with an eye on self-care and daily rituals.

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Humankind Swimwear

Founded by lesbian entrepreneur Haily Marzullo, this company aims to make quality gender-neutral swimsuits and athletic gear for a variety of bodies and sizes.

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Jen Zeano Designs

Wife-and-wife team Jen and Vero started Jen Zeano Designs in 2014, the same year they got married, launching the store with a Pink Latina Power Tee. The brand celebrates Latina community & culture through tees, sweats, accessories, bags, stationary, drinkware and kids stuff with collections including Feel Your Feelings, Artesana Costias Curiosas, Latina to Latina, Growing Through It and Latina Power.

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Kards Unlimited

Pittsburgh, PA

Established in 1968, this Pittsburgh novelty shop has been passed on from the married couple who founded it to their daughter and then to an employee of 15 years. Cards, pins, coloring books, stickers, socks, mugs, games, books, cards, puzzles!!!

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Kirrin Finch

Kirrin Finch, started by Brooklyn-based lesbian couple Kelly and Laura Moffat, sells kickass menswear-inspired shirts, oxfords and bow-ties using sustainable fabrics and practices.

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Lockwood Shop

Brooklyn, NY

Starting out with one shop in Astoria in 2013, Lockwood now has five stores in NYC and a bustling online shop, filled with “unique decor, stationery, clothing, kid’s gifts, and affordable lifestyle goods, focusing on local makers and up-and-coming brands.” This includes the cutest slippers ever, Mr. Mets prayer candles, face masks, Legally Blonde coloring books, Latkes & Lights candles, pizza rat felt christmas tree ornament,  touchscreen gloves, a Reductress Play the Patriarchy game, I MEAN the list goes on. You can even make a custom gift box for your beloved. Their store is SO CUTE I could not pick a photo to use.

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Loyalty Bookstores

Washington DC

Founded by Black Queer bookseller Hannah Oliver Depp, Loyalty Bookstores in Silver Spring and Washington DC aim to “be the mid-Atlantic’s neighborhood spot for wonderful books and unique stationary, gifts and programming” and center Black, PoC and queer voices.

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Las Ofrendas

Las Ofrendas is a social enterprise featuring handmade accessories, apparel, games stationary and home goods designed or curated by their founder, tk tunchez, highlighting Latinx, BIPOC and queer art.

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Lucky Skivvies

A+ Members get 10% off

Luky Skivvies is a gender neutral boxer brief and loungewear brand created for all bodies, with sizes ranging from small to 3XL.

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Makoma the Brand

Makoma the Brand aims to “create one-of-a-kind, contemporary designs using a combination of African prints and classic silhouettes.” Everything is ethically made and was founded by Judith, who is also the co-owner of Brooklyn-based hair salon / barber shop Chokmah Hair Lab.

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Mestiza

Chicago, IL

Established in Chicago in 2004 by artists/entrepreneurs Lorena and Sugeiri, Mestiza offers ” unique selection of jewelry, clothing, accessories, housewares, stationery, and handmade local artisan goods” and a “selection of unique Latinx products that celebrate their traditions and culture.” This Millennial Lotería: El Puzzle is a must-have!

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Mi Vida

Los Angeles, CA

Noelle Reyes founded her LA-based store in 2008 “with the purpose of providing the surrounding the surrounding community a shopping experience that compliments their lifestyle, incorporating cultural elements into fashion and functional art.” They sell shirts, pins, hats, jewelry, incense, oils and so much more!

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Minna Goods

Minna is a textile brand that sells blankets, textiles, rugs, wall hangings and more while striving to “bridge the gap between ethically made goods and contemporary design.” Sara Berks launched her company in 2013, when she got tired of doing graphic design and wanted to start making things with her own two hands.

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Minus Moonshine

Brooklyn, NY

This “magical land of beverages and potions” are made for adults who want to participate in alcoholic-esque revelry, but without the alcohol itself! With a brick & mortar shop in Brooklyn, this trans-owned store sells non-alcoholic beers, spirits, wines, seltzers and mixers.

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Mud Witch

Queer Japanese/Mexican Artist Viviana Matsuda’s pottery studio makes unique, hand-thrown, brightly-colored ceramics: candle holders, mugs, vases, planters and bowls. You should follow her on instagram because every one of her products sparks immediate joy!

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Muka

This small Hamilton, Ontario-based company consists of four artists and life-long friends with big dreams who founded MUKA in 2018 to “build a more inclusive and creative future in fashion for people of intersectional identities,” selling pins, stickers, t-shirts and other accessories.

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Nicole Zizi

The NICOLE ZÏZI STUDIO™ is a brand with a new perspective on streetwear with a focus on eco-conscious, sustainable, innovative and gender-free premium streetwear. All the garments are hand-made garments with ethically produced fabrics.

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Nik Kacy Footwear

Los Angeles, CA

Nik Kacy couldn’t find “masculine-of-center” shoes in their size and that’s what inspired them to launch their own line of luxury footwear for people of all gender identities. They also sell harnesses and holsters.

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Noto Botanics

Los Angeles, CA

Gloria Noto’s eponymous line of serums, oils, cleansers, mists, moisturizers, creams and lip + cheek sticks are designed for all genders and skin types. Everything is vegan, cruelty free and eco-friendly. “Learning what ingredients were clean and beneficial for multiuse, multi-gendered folx is what makes Noto stand out,” Noto told The Cut.

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Octopied Mind Inc.

Established in 2018 and queer, woman and indigenous-owned; founders Jill and Sarah want every piece they produce to be a conversation starter, meticulously crafted with purpose and passion. Their fun totes, blankets, hats, mugs and stickers are perfect for weirdos who experience emotions like being Dead Inside and having Sunday Scaries.

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One DNA Apparel

Ypsilanti, MI

Headquartered in my beloved Ypsilanti, Michigan, this Black and queer-owned business sells gender-neutral apparel. Their super-wearable and very cozy premium tees and sweats are made from organic and recycled fabrics.

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Pa’lante Para

This “clothing brand created by a queer Latina who gets it” aims to “make space for affordable, trendy and forward thinking para options for Latinx and multicultural-based sororities.” Their Para Everyone designs are “made for everyone to rock, regardless of affiliation.”

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Pals Socks

The Pals Socks story begins in 2007, when then-girlfriends Hannah Lavon and Ashley Connors started “Hooray Hoopla,” a gift shop that specialized in “kitschy-cool paper products” and got popular selling mismatched animal mittens. The “Vs. Stuff” line put Predators and Prey on a set of hands and let them duke it out. Thus, Pals Socks were born, and the mismatched animal buddies have been a hit. Now they collaborate with artists and are always releasing new fun things for the feet!

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Portrai.Me

Portrai Me is “a visual art project that creates ‘portraits’ of people’s personalities through the various motifs in their lives.” They aim to produce one-of-a-kind artworks at accessible price-points, starting at just $59 each.

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Peau De Loup

Lifelong tomboys Adelle Renaud and Erin McLeod founded Peau De Loup in Vancouver and set out to “redefine feminine etiquette in womenswear by creating functional, well-made, timeless apparel.” You can get their super-cool ethically-sourced-and-produced signature button-ups (so much plaid, y’all!) and accessories online.

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The Phluid Project

Launched in March 2018, the Phluid Project aims to “amplify the rising voice of today’s youth, which rejects binary gender norms, and favors an inclusive world that allows individuals to wear what makes them feel good — that is, what best reflects who they really are inside.

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PlayOut

Abby Sugar and Sylvie Lardex launched PlayOut in 2011, offering two styles of underwear — boxer-briefs (the ‘boyshort’) and the trunk cut — for all genders. Now they sell tunics, pants, skirts, crop tops and all sorts of “gender-free apparel.”

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A Rainbow In Your Cloud

Black autistic visual artist Amina Mucciolo’s shop exudes rainbow bubblegum poppy excitement with affirming tees, masks, hoodies and iPhone cases.

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re-inc

Founded by legendary women’s soccer players Megan Rapinoe, Tobin Heath, Meghan Klingenberg, and Christen Press “with the mission of inspiring us all to boldly reimagine the status quo,” re-inc’s shop sells t-shirts, scarves, hats, mugs, hats, tumblrs and more, emblazoned with their logos and inspiring messages.

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Reparations Club

Los Angeles, CA

Reparations Club is a bookshop and creative space “curated by Blackness” in Los Angeles. The Black-owned and women-owned business curates an incredible list of books as well as selling vinyl and gifts like puzzles, games, honey, sage sticks and tarot decks.

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A Room of One’s Own

Madison, WI

This Madison-based bookstore, named after the Virginia Woolf essay, has been a thriving space for the local feminist community since 1975. It offers a variety of books and gifts, with plenty of women’s studies and LGBT fiction.

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Sabor a Libertad

Sabor a Libertad is the project of a graphic artist in San Juan, Puerto Rico, aiming to make clothes that represent them and other QTPOC Puerto Ricans. They sell a ton of cute original graphic tees in bright, fun colors in both Spanish and English like Aro Pride, Straight Was the Phase, La Futura Es Inclusiva and They Kiss Them.

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Sapphire Books Publishing

Founded by Christine Svedsen in 2010, Sapphire Books is dedicated to promoting and publishing “stories that accurately and respectfully reflect the diverse lives of the lesbian community.”

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Show & Tell Oakland

Oakland, CA

This concept shop, gallery and gathering space in downtown Oakland specializes in sustainable and socially responsible apparel, accessories and gift items. Alyah Baker started her store to share products she couldn’t find in big box retailers, things that “reflected [her] love for BIPOC and LGBTQIA community.” In their store and online they sell t-shirts, body salves & cremes, jewelry, candles, prints and yoga mats from a diverse group of makers.

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Smitten Kitten

Minneapolis, MN

Smitten Kitten opened in 2003 in Minneapolis, MN, hoping to bring “quality, body-friendly sex toys” to a store they’d enjoy shopping in themselves. Smitten Kitten is always on the city’s “Best Of” lists and promotes a sex-positive environment and a curated inventory of non-toxic, ethically produced and marketed products. Not just sex toys, though — they’ve got cute buttons, greeting cards, bandanas and so much more.

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Souk Bohemian

Atlanta, GA

Artists Morgan Ashley Bryant and Vanessa Coore Vernon partner with local and global artisans to bring aspirational ready-to-wear pieces, home goods, small-batch jewelry, and handmade accessories with minimal palettes and global aesthetics.

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South Street Art Market

Philadelphia, PA

The queer-women-owned South Street Art Market sports goods from 130+ indie artists in their store and online. From kitschy nostalgia to nerdy indulgences to the dark arts, their store includes Sick Sad 90s Pin Packs, Mystery Zine Bundles, Dolly Parton earrings, Unicorn Sculptures, Back to the Future Light Switch Plates and so so much more!

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Stealth Bros & Company

This luxury medical storage company creates Dopp kit supplies for travel and at-home personal storage for medical/personal necessities for the transgender, diabetic, TTC and other persona/medical communities in an attempt to revolutionize the way we see and feel about sharps disposal.

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Stuzo Clothing

This queer-owned, women-owned, Black-owned and Latin-owned gender-free brand is “designed to invoke thought and emotion.” DapperQ described them as “a line of androgynous, athleisure, and Cali-casual-cool style.” They sell t-shirts, candles, hats and other gender-free apparel “designed to invoke thought and emotion.” Celebrities like Lena Waithe and Jada Pinkett Smith have been spotted in Stuzo attire.

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Style is Freedom

This “Tomboi Lifestlye Brand” from designer Toni Branson sells snapbacks, beanies, sweatshirts, tees, wallets, slides and more. they collaborate with artists and have so much fun stuff this season, like a Wakanda Tomboi tee and the “Elephant in the room” collection.

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Tanaïs 

Tanaïs, author and prefumer and the host of perfume podcast MALA, promises “infinite beauty” with her recently-launched brand that ” imagines fragrance, beauty and jewelry as expressions of ritual, adornment and ancestors.”

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TomboyX

Founded by lesbian couple Fran and Naomi, Tomboy X sells underwear, bras, joggers, t-shirts, muscle tees, swimwear and so much more with a focus on “empowering our LGBTQ+ community year-round.”

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Under the Umbrella Bookstore

Salt Lake City, UT

Under the Umbrella Bookstore is a bookstore and a safe space for queer people of all ages in the Salt Lake City community, selling books across all genres as well as candles, teas, stickers, pins, tote bags, bookmarks, mugs, and jewelry by small queer-owned businesses and artists.

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Unicorn Feed Supply

Ypsilanti, MI

The queer woman who opened Unicorn Feed Supply in 2018 wanted an entire store that brought her as much joy as her childhood sticker collection (relate-able), Unicorn Feed Supply is queer as fuck: terrariums, fairy gardens, magical stuff, sparkly things, stuffed animals, novelty socks, knick-knacks, enamel pins, work from local artisans and fun stuff for Pride.

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Violet Valley Bookstore

Water Valley, MS

Mississippi’s “Only Queer Feminist Trans inclusive Bookstore” was founded by Jaime Harker, who found while working on her book The Lesbian South that there was a huge community of Southern queers who were “surprised and delighted to find that they were part of a long tradition of activists and writers.” She was inspired to start Violet Valley in 2017, aiming to “make feminist, queer, and multicultural books available to the Water Valley community, the state of Mississippi, and the South.”

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We’Moon

The We’Moon: Gaia Rhythms for Womyn astrological and lunar calendar datebook was founded in 1981 and is published in Oregon by Mother Tongue Ink. You can get the datebook and wall calendar in their online shop as well as other related products.

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West Side Kids

New York, NY

Since 1981, lesbian couple Alice and Jenny Bergman have been running this neighborhood favorite toy shop with a selection that emphasizes diversity, education, and ethically-made products for curious kiddos.

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Wet For Her

Proudly selling sex toys designed by women for women, Wet For Her not only sells dildos, massage oils and harnesses, but also “finger extenders” for purposes which are probably obvious to you.

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Wildfang

Portland, OR + Los Angeles, CA

These self-described “modern-day, female Robin Hoods raiding men’s closets and maniacally dispensing blazers, cardigans, wingtips and bowlers” launched their dapper-tomboy brand in early 2013. Their Wild Feminist tees became viral sensations, their smart suiting is beloved in the queer community and their jumpsuits have taken our televisions by storm.

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Wiselands

With Midwestern roots refined in Northern California, this queer & employee-owned company creates sustainable skincare using green chemistry and concentrated, renewable ingredients.

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Wolfe Video

This legend in lesbian movie culture was launched in 1985 by Kathy Wolfe and it is the largest exclusive distributor of LGBT films. They began as a mail order outlet distributing a Lily Tomlin film and are now an active distributor and releaser of pretty much every film with a lesbian in it, ever! Plus they’re just good people.

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Woxers

This QWOC-owned apparel company designed a boxer-brief tailored to women and focused on comfort, health and sustainability. They sell bralettes as well as boxer-briefs in different lengths in a variety of colors and patterns.

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Volition Beauty

Founders Brandy Hoffman (the queer one!) and Patricia Santos met working at a different skincare company and joined forces to create the now enormously successful Volition Beauty, featuring clean skincare products inspired by crowdsourced ideas, voted on by fans. And they have a lot of fans! You can also find Volition products at Sephora.

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And Finally: More Queer and LGBTQ+-Owned Bookstores To Support

There are so many bookstores owned by LGBTQ women and other trans people that I couldn’t possibly give them all blurbs. Here are some of the many I missed (I chose here only stores that have independent storefronts you can shop online)

• All She Wrote (Sommerville, MA)
• Astoria Bookshop (Astoria, NY)
• Big Blue Marble Books (Philadelphia, PA)
• Black Garnet Books (Twin Cities, Minnesota) (black owned)
• BookWoman (Austin,TX)
• Broadway Books (Portland, OR)
• Burdock Book Collective (Birmingham, Alabama)
• Dog Eared Books (San Francisco)
• Firestorm Books & Coffee (Asheville, NC)
• Foggy Pine Books (Boone, NC)
• The Irreverent Bookworm (Minneapolis, MN)
• Montana Book Company (Helena, MT)
• Omnivore Books (San Francisco, CA)
• The Ripped Bodice (Los Angeles, CA)
• Red Emmas (Baltimore, MD)
• Reparations Club (Los Angeles,CA)
• Rofhiwa Books & Cafe (Durham, NC)
• Tombolo Books (St. Petersburg, FL)
• Tubby & Coos (New Orleans)
• Women & Children First (Chicago, IL)
• Womencrafts (Provincetown)

Holigay Gift Guide: Dark Christmas Aesthetic Edition

Do you want to do something REALLY nice for the witchy and/or romantic Goth and/or person who keeps sending you “Dark Christmas Aesthetic” TikToks in your life? Because while, sure, I can’t argue that many people would love to have another Tarot deck to add to their collection, an unexpected delight can be found in just the right piece of decor. Whether your friend/lover/family member is in their twenties or in their sixties, receiving a gift that can up the ambience of their lived environment on whatever scale or along whatever sensory lines, something that can heighten the sense of seasonality and drama, is sure to delight. Let’s help everyone live deliciously, yeah?

I’ve arranged gifts by budget, so that you can just scroll around for what suits your needs!

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Gifts Under $25

Here, we’re hitting three basics. Is your gift recipient someone who is into candles, into scents? I highly recommend Tasseomancer candles, and though I’ve never had the chance to smell their Wassail scent, it seems pitch perfect for setting the scene for the holiday. On the cuter end of the spectrum is a print of the prettiest Yule monster, Mari Lwyd. The pixel art style of the print makes me think of Stardew Valley…but if a magical horse skeleton came to your door in the middle of the night to challenge you to a singing duel! Finally, what is a Yule-esque/Dark Christmas celebration without a little Krampus? Except…we all know someone who LOVES cats. So what about this ornament that combines a vintage style, the season’s favorite flogger AND CATS?

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Gifts $26-$50

Under $50 but over $25 is a broad category. We have a candle for those who want their place to constantly smell like they’ve just cracked open the grimoire. Then, we’ve got a sapphic as heck witchy print that is not very Yule-esque, but which will look good all year. Throw some sparkling lights around it when the season hits, if you must!

Now, as for bells, did you know hanging bells on your door is supposed to deter evil and negativity from entering the home? But did you also know that sleigh bells sound gorgeous? Like actual sleigh bells. I have been to this store and jangled these bells and they sound magical. Those ones for kids you see around the holidays have nothing on what actual sleigh bells apparently sound like? Wild to me to learn! Then, we’ve got some much-safer-than-actual LED candles that your gift recipient can clip around their apartment or to a tree to create an old-school feeling. Then, there’s nothing that says cozy for a lot of folks like a puzzle! This one with some mysterious witches in this red, black and white winter scene would definitely cultivate a sense of mystery while slowly coming together on your table.

FINALLY, listen. A black serving board for the charcuterie babe who is going to arrange dark fruits like pomegranate seeds and grapes on it to present a lush, witchy little spread, not just this time of year but all the time? Ideal. Probably.

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Gifts $60+

Listen, You and Krampus are in Cahoots, so maybe you want to spend a little extra…

If your darling is going to make their own Mary Lwyd, she’ll be needing a horse skull. It’s just the facts! Or you could get a tealight holder that evokes the forest your loved one longs to live in, in a lone cabin, that the children are afraid of…OR, maybe you want to get back to what is supposedly the origin of Santa Claus’s red and white suit — his association with the amanita mushroom. These are the (psychedelic BUT POISONOUS OKAY DO NOT EAT THESE) fairytale-looking mushrooms that are red with white spots. Whatever you choose, these gifts won’t look out of place year-round because you’re thoughtful is what you are.

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Bonus: Stationary and Wrapping

Want to wrap a gift in upsettingly nice paper for $5 or send it along with a Krampus card that says NAUGHTY on it? We’ve got you. Need to gussy up a message or a package? How about these Yule bullet journaling stickers? Save the rest for your actual journal!

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WISHING YOU ALL THE BEST YULE!

Holigay Gift Guide: Your Gay Parent Friends Are Exhausted, Send Help!

I’ve been a mom for so long, I barely remember not being a mom. As a group of people, parents, especially moms, are notoriously shit at receiving gifts. Whenever people ask me what I want for Christmas, I’m legit stumped. I rarely think about the things I need because I’m always concerned about what everyone else needs. Usually, I tell people to get me a gift card for Starbucks or Target — those are two of the places I go the most often and where I spend most of my money anyway. You can never go wrong with a gift card to their favorite place.

Buying a gift for a parent is tough because the thing most of us want is sleep or rest. If you have the means, taking your friend’s kids for a few hours so they can get some quiet time to read a book with a cup of their favorite beverage would be the best gift ever. Or arrange for you two to have some friend time, but the key is making sure childcare is already sorted, because they will absolutely never be able to get that shit together on their own. But if you want to buy them a gift that you can order or pick up, these are the gifts most tired parents would love.

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Comfort is Key

I love being cozy, especially now that it’s wintertime. A sherpa lined throw blanket is great for the couch where your parent friend finds herself fighting to stay up and watch one more episode of whatever show they’re trying to binge. Cozy often means fluffy slippers (my partner and my son both have a pair of these and love them!) or fleece pjs. But it could also be strapping on the ol’ heating pad while you watch TV because your muscles are aching. I also love cozy scents, and this cinnamon vanilla candle smells like a snickerdoodle.

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Self-Care

I am absolute crap at self-care. I don’t mean things like showering or making sure I drink water (I’m extra terrible at that), but doing things for myself and my body that make it feel better. A depuffing facial roller is good for early mornings when you slept like crap because your kid had you up all night with a tummy ache. Rosebud Salve is my go-to for anything from dry lips to rubbing on a raw nose because I’ve been blowing it too much. I’ve recently started doing foot masks because summer does a number on my feet. The body cream is thick and smells so good. And everyone deserves a massager, especially with heat. Good for those days when you “slept funny” and can’t turn your head anymore.

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Everyday Essentials

Every parent loves convenience. Whether that be the ease of cooking in a slow cooker (this one travels since it’s the holiday season) or an air fryer that does everything, they want it. I have a hydration issue, but drinking water out of a double wall bottle makes it more bearable. Caffeine is a must for any tired mom, some prefer an espresso based drink, and some prefer tea. We also have a habit of letting our hot drinks get cold, which is less likely in a cute pink insulated cup with metal straws.

Holigay Gift Guide: Stocking Stuffers for Skincare Enthusiasts

Skincare gifts are all about striking a balance! You want to make sure that your giftee will actually use what you’re giving them, but you also don’t want to give them something boring (the same cleanser that they’ve used for seven years is practical, but not exciting). If you’re in the market for a skincare gift, look no further — I’ve compiled a list of gifts that any skincare enthusiast would be delighted to receive!

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Gifts Under $25

For a gift that comes in under $25, you can’t beat an essence! The CosRX snail mucin essence is beloved for its hydrating capabilities (snail mucin is a powerhouse) but it’s not vegan, so if your intended gift recipient is a vegan, perhaps the Tower 28 facial mist instead. You can never have too many lip balms (you’re bound to lose at least one!), and the Summer Fridays lip balms come in a bunch of colors and are also vegan! If you’ll grant me some wiggle room on the $25 rule, the Mara Sea Silk Lip Balm ($26) comes in fewer colors but cuter packaging.

Cryo globes could be a fun way to recreate the spa experience at home! Chill them in the fridge and reuse indefinitely. Plus, if you’ve got a metal spoon in the freezer for depuffing your undereyes, this could be your chance to return that spoon to its place in your cutlery drawer. If you know your giftee has a favorite product, a mini version is a great travel-friendly (and budget-friendly) present. If you need some inspiration, the Kiehl’s moisturizer linked above is deeply hydrating, and a little goes a long way, so the mini lasts a lot longer than you’d think!

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Gifts $25 – $75

I know pimple-related presents are controversial, and honestly, probably inappropriate 99% of the time so maybe this is more a gift for you than anyone else! BUT if you have someone in your life who wears the Starface hydro-stars like they’re jewelry, they might be comfortable with (and perhaps even thrilled by!) getting the Violette FR Invisible Bandage from you. Like a pimple patch, the Invisible Bandage acts as a barrier, but because it goes on as a liquid, it doesn’t have the sharp edges that a pimple patch typically does, making it easier to hide under makeup!

If you’d rather give your giftee something more universally appropriate, consider “nice” sunscreen. The skincare enthusiast in your life might already have a brand they adore, but if they don’t, both Supergoop and Shiseido bring a lot to the sunscreen table. If you’ve ever tried to reenact the Princess Diaries makeover scene by resting cucumber slices on your eyes, under-eye patches still give you that cooling effect while also letting you see (important). You can also buy them individually wrapped – toss them in the fridge so they stay cold!

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Gifts $75+

If your giftee is a Libra (or really, if they’re just into nice things), they might like a splurge-y moisturizer. Think La Mer, Dr. Barbara Sturm, or for something slightly “cheaper”, the Augustinus Bader The Rich Cream. It’s $180 per ounce, but it’s supposed to be fantastic.

If you’d rather give your giftee something that’ll last a lot longer than a single ounce of moisturizer, skincare devices are another great option. You could give them a red light therapy mask to ward off robbers at the door, a microcurrent facial toning device to zap away wrinkles, or something that does it all!

Autostraddle + For Them’s Ultimate Team Holigay Gift Guide 2023!

It’s that special, sparkly time of year when Autostraddle writers and editors share what we’re all wishing for during the holigay season. This year, our friends at For Them are joining in on the fun, too, so this ultimate team gift guide is even more ultimate than usual! Between all of us, we represent a wide range of identities, interests, hobbies, and obsessions, so there’s quite the range on this list! Use this list for inspiration for yourself or others, and stay tuned for upcoming specific lists to fit all kinds of gay gift-giving! 🎁

Matching Holiday Pajama Sets for Your Super Cute Queer Fam

When my partner and I got together, one of the things I was most excited about were the matching family pajamas for Christmas we were going to get. My son was getting older, and I wanted to start creating holiday traditions for us. Matching pajamas was at the top of the list either way, but I loved that we were going to be a cute family of three in our matching holiday pjs. Every year since, around mid-November, I start scoping out our family’s annual matching holiday pajama sets for the year.

There are a few things I look for in matching family pajamas. Fit is important. When compiling this list, I included links to each collection of pajamas, which means you get to see all of the different fits for that style. The Children’s Place has unisex fits for adults, which is nice, but since unisex usually means it will be cute for male bodies, sizing is tricky for me. I tend to go for a women’s cut, and my partner varies depending on style. She often wears men’s clothes, but sometimes men’s pajamas are too big for her. Sometimes you have multiple style options within one design, but we tend to go for the two piece snug fit. My kid isn’t going for anything with buttons and I don’t do onesies, so it’s just the easiest option for us.

Design is also an important part! So far, we’ve done llamas, bears, penguins, and this year: gnomes. I don’t like ones that are overly Christmasy, and Santa designs are usually some of the first to sell out. I also don’t like things that are too vague, like plaid or buffalo print. I can get that any time of year; I want my holiday pajamas to look like they’re for a holiday. I’ve tried to include a variety of styles, but you can also use these as jumping off points to see what else is out there! (Full disclosure: I didn’t include Old Navy this year because they didn’t group their pajamas in a user-friendly way, but also a lot of the fun prints have sold out in many styles. If you still want to check, you can look here.) I also included a pair of Hanukkah pajamas and New Year’s Eve pajamas.

There are a lot of sales happening right now, so I’ve included the prices at the time of writing this, and the prices only reflect the cost of the most expensive pair in the set, so you’ll have to click through to get a more accurate idea of how much it’ll cost. Be sure to check each site for any potential coupons or deals that may be happening to get a better idea of exactly what the cost will be. I’ve also noted which styles also have some sort of pet accessory. Our puppy also gets in on the matching family pjs!

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We Are Family PJs ($60)

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Jammies For Your Families Frenchie Family PJs ($23)

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Santa’s Helpers PJs ($28)

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Feliz Navidad PJs ($25)

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Nice List Black Santa PJs ($60, also has matching bandana for pets)

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Mix It Multicolored Trees PJs ($20)

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LC Lauren Conrad Jammies For Your Families® Fair Isle PJs ($22)

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Reindeer Family PJs ($32)

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Christmas Gnomies PJs ($60, has matching pjs for dogs)

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Checks & Trucks Buffalo PJs ($28)

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Bring Light to this Night, Dreidel Spinning Bright PJs ($25, also has matching bandana for pets)

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Holiday Toss Family PJs ($20)

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Colorful Plaid PJs ($30, also has matching bandana for pets)

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LC Lauren Conrad Jammies For Your Families® Aqua Winter Tree PJs ($22)

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New Year Family PJs ($20)

Stylish Brimmed Hats for Your Best Queer Fall/Winter Aesthetic

Tis absolutely the season to don a beanie and flannel for maximum gay comfort and warmth. But while a beanie is functional and can absolutely be a hot look on butches, femmes, and all queers in between, sometimes you want something with a little more swagger and style. Enter: brimmed hats. And no, they haven’t been ruined by a certain scandal-inducing soccer player. Brimmed hats are a perfect low-effort fall/winter accessory, whether you go with a stiffer brim or a floppier witchy brim. Here are a few options for some late fall/early winter brimmed hat shopping. You can also just use some of these styles for inspiration and hit up a thrift store for your fall hat needs.

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Classic Black Brimmed Hats

Black brimmed hats are easy to style, and they come at a variety of price points depending on the materials used. Wool hats will cost more than felt, and ones with a leather band will cost more than those with a suede or synthetic band. Most of these are flat brimmed hats, but the second one offers a bit of a curve and is more of a femme fedora style than the others. All of them offer a sleek fall look that would pair well with a wool peacoat.

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Giddy-Up Hats

Cowboy style is queer style imo, and these more cowboyish brimmed hats might be a bold look to rock at the gay bar, but they’re definitely a conversation starter! The second hat, while pricey, is easily my favorite and is made from wool felt and also comes in taupe, cream, and brown. And that subtle sparkle on that fourth hat?! Divine.

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Floppy Hats

My personal fashion choices used to be almost exclusively inspired by the television I was watching at the time, so when American Horror Story: Coven came out when I was in college, you better believe I marched my ass to the Ann Arbor Urban Outfitters to purchase a black floppy hat. The first one on this list comes in an additional four colors.

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Neutral Brimmed Hats

The vast majority of my closet is in neutral tones — browns, creams, etc. My best friend likes to say I look best in “burnt neutrals,” shades like terracotta, sepia, etc. The above hats have especially autumnal vibes with their fall leaves shades. The second option is “semi-structured,” which means it’s easy to collapse into a suitcase.

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Statement Hats

Bold colors! Bold patterns! Listen, you’re already making a statement by wearing a structured hat. Why not take the statement to the next level? The second option comes in a whopping 15 colors, many of them bold/bright.

19 Gay-as-Hell Winter Coats to Keep You Warm Inside and Out

Gay winter coats!? Yes, gay winter coats!

In many parts of the world, the nights are getting longer and the days are getting colder, and you probably need a cute jacket and/or coat that will actually keep you warm. Perhaps what you’re looking for is a denim jacket (in which case I already have you covered, my love!), but perhaps… just maybe perhaps… you’re looking for something even warmer. You’re ready to feel toasty and be gay and drink hot chocolate and be gay and feel that pleasant nip on your nose and ear tips while you run around at the pet rescue or teach a femme how to start a cozy fire and again most importantly BE GAY.

It already snowed on Halloween in Michigan and Ohio. Maybe the rest of fall is cancelled. Let’s do this.

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The Sherpas

Please be a human teddy bear. I beg of you, be a human teddy bear.

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Short and Sweet Puffers

For when you want to give it’s winter but my ass looks great.

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Quilted

I did not know that quilts were in for this winter? But according to the fancy fashion people that I read in research for this article, quilts are very in for this winter. How do we feel about it? I don’t know. But I do know that the trench coat with the navy blue quilted arms keeps flirting like it wants to go home with me. And I keep blushing in return.

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The Top Coats (for a Top) (I’m Kidding)

Nothing will ever say “gay winter coat” and “top me” like a classic full length top coat. They are classic, androgynous, and they make me weak in the knees. You will wear it, you will power up into your most powerful power lesbian form. Bette Porter will wink at you from your reflection in the mirror. Those are just the rules.

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The 70s

According to influencers, fashion blogs, and your pop culture obsessed cousin on TikTok everywhere, the 70s are back! There are specific reasons for this (wide sherpa and faux shearling collars were apparently all over the runway, apparently straight women are still going hard in the Daisy Jones & The Six fandom), but it’s hard not to agree: That silhouette!?! Babyyyyy, you will be the show stopper in every room that you enter.

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Chore Coats

This is a close cousin of the top coat, a casual masc gay winter coat classic. (If you’re wearing one, call me.)

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And for When You Just Wanna Wear a Sleeping Bag

I live on the Canadian border, don’t play with me. We know why we came here.

These Are the Hot Tips Queer Small Business Owners Swear By

NEXT Insurance is 100% dedicated to making it easy for small business owners and the self-employed to get the insurance they need to take their company to the next level. Autostraddle and NEXT Insurance are pleased to bring you the first installment of “Next Level,” an article series in which successful queer small business owners share how they tackle the challenges of business ownership to live their very best work lives. Today, our small business owners and self-employed superstars are sharing their inspirations and tips for living your best small business ownership life.

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Delena Mobley and Kim Blessing had always loved fashion and had always wanted to start a Black-and-queer friendly business. But it wasn’t until the pandemic hit that they realized it was “now or never” to go for it and launch the gender and size-inclusive brand of their dreams, dom+bomb.

Brittany and Summer of Culture Flock started their quirky, eclectic store in 2013, during a transitional period for both of their careers. The same was true for me and my co-founder at Autostraddle: the recession that started in 2008 upended most of our career plans, so I figured 2009 was as good a time as any to see if my little dream had any legs.

For Jennifer Vinciguerra, CPA, it was ten years of notes on what she wished she could change about the small firm where she began her accounting career that eventually led her to decide it was time to go her own way.

Tracy and Mia, the co-founders of web design and development company Yikes, had been building websites for their non-profit and activist communities for a while before deciding in the mid-90s that they were ready to get paid for it. For Tracy, that was a realization of a desire she’d held since childhood to start her own business.

No matter where you are in the process of small business ownership or self-employment — still deciding if this is the right moment to turn your idea into a business or already getting your show on the road, it’ll undoubtedly be a lot of work, but the rewards can also be immense.

Here’s some of the best advice the queer small business owners we spoke to have picked up along the way:

Ask For Help

People with expertise, skills and experience are often willing to lend a few hours of their time to provide insight and support. Nothing I’ve read or been able to find online has ever matched the level of insight I’ve gleaned from others who’ve done similar work at different companies. You can often connect with other small business owners through industry conferences, local neighborhood associations and networking events, or through your local chamber of commerce.

“Small business owners want to see each other succeed, and queer and BIPOC business owners even moreso,” says Kim of dom+bomb. “We’re all in this together.”

Accept That You Can’t Do Everything Yourself

Nobody comes to the table with a full suite of knowledge about every aspect of running a business — and sometimes you do have the knowledge, but your skills or talent might be more efficiently spent elsewhere. Kim and Delena of dom+bomb are both marketers by trade, but they eventually outsourced their marketing to an external firm (queer-owned TinyTall Consulting), which is also queer-owned!) because other areas of the business required their focus.

Although I’d been trained in basic accounting and relevant software while working as the VP of Accounting for a literary agency in my twenties, I didn’t have any special bookkeeping skills or knowledge. Hiring Jennifer Vinciguerra to do Autostraddle’s accounting enabled me to focus more squarely on the creative work that resided in my specific zone of genius, and it was well worth the cost in the long term.

Follow Your Heart to Fill a Need

Many small businesses begin with a dream to put something into the world that wasn’t there before. “As queer kids from Springfield, MO, we wanted to create the kind of quirky, eclectic shop commonly found in big coastal cities like Portland, Seattle, and LA,” said Summer of Culture Flock, “ultimately creating a place that we wished we would’ve had growing up.”

Kim and Delena of dom+bomb always struggled to find cute clothes that fit, so they decided to make their own.

Sheena Lister, the CEO of short-hair styling products company Barb, had an idea that had been “percolating for many years” based on her own experience as a short-haired consumer who felt unrepresented in the industry.

Surround Yourself with Supportive People

“I could never have accomplished what I did without the resounding support of my wife (formerly my best friend), and an exceptional community of friends and family,” Jennifer says. “You need people around you who you can bounce ideas off of — there’s no shortage of wrong decisions to make and sometimes heeding the advice of an uninvolved third party is just what you need to figure things out.”

Often I’ll be grilling my girlfriend or friends for their take on my ideas, and they’ll often say something along the lines of “but I’m no expert!” That may be true, but they’re also my potential audience and customer base, so their input is far from irrelevant.

Don’t Be Afraid to Mess Up

Time spent trying out a new idea or working on an eventually-thwarted project is not time wasted — it’s a learning experience. Sometimes it takes 20 bad ideas to get to one good idea.

“We’ve learned the most valuable lessons from our mistakes in our 10 years of business,” says Summer of Culture Flock. “Even though they’re painful to your ego, those mistakes can lead you in the right direction if you’re open to it.”

Take Risks

The act of starting a business or working for yourself might seem risky enough in and of itself, but there’s no innovation without risk. “I wish I’d taken more risks in business earlier on,” says Tracy of Yikes. “Almost every risk we’ve taken has paid off.”

Often, women and people from marginalized communities are more risk-averse — they may lack a safety net or fear greater consequences arising from the risks they take. These aren’t empty fears: many successful entrepreneurs who are perceived as having a large appetite for risk are simply just rich enough to afford those risks. But there’s a middle ground between “playing it safe” and “buying twitter.”

Charge What You’re Worth

”Don’t put yourself on sale,” Tracy advises. “Charge what you’re worth. I’ve seen behind the curtain of businesses I thought were levels above us to discover everyone’s faking it. Don’t assume you’re inferior to others, and charge less for whatever your product is.”

This is especially true for service-based businesses. Be confident about what your time is worth and refuse to settle for less. I often try to envision what a cis white straight man would feel comfortable asking for, and then carry that sense of self-worth into the room with me.

Be Authentic

“For those in a creative field,” Summer of Culture Flock suggests, “make things that you actually like! When you make things that are only for consumption by others, they don’t come across with the same heart and soul as projects that are close to your heart. So don’t be afraid to be authentic. It will be much more effective and appreciated!”

Get Inspiration Everywhere

Becky Bacsik-Booker and Alyssa Kaliszewski of Doll Parts Collective, a sustainability-focused vintage-shop-meets-curated-boutique in Seattle, cite an eclectic range of influences for their store, including Meow Wolf, Trixie Mattel, Iris Apfel, maximalist thrift/op shops of the 60s/70s, Nooworks and Robert Crumb.

Brittany from Culture Flock loves the Design Matters podcast. The dom+Bomb co-founders recommend “The E-Myth” by Michael E. Gerber for all small business owners and “Big Dress Energy” by Shakalia Forbes-Bell for fashion entrepreneurs specifically. Inspiration can come from so many different industries, not just the one you’re working with.

Get The Right Insurance For Your Small Business

All small business owners and the self-employed need small business insurance, although what type you need depends on the type of business you’re running. If you’ve got any employers or contractors, you’ll need workers comp. Brick-and-mortar stores require general liability and commercial property insurance to protect your inventory, your vendors and your customers, which covers issues like theft or disasters. Providing services or advice? You’ll need professional liability insurance for that!

Next Insurance makes it easy and affordable to figure out what insurance you need for your small business, with an easy-to-understand interface and convenient packages like the Business Owner’s Policy, which combines General Liability and Property Insurance. They specialize in providing insurance to small businesses and the self-employed.

Good luck out there, I’m confident you’ve got a great thing going!

25 Denim Jackets Worth Adding to Your Closet to Casually Up the Gay

The leaves have changed. The air has gone crisp. We’ve approached peak fall. Let’s make sure that your annual denim jacket is appropriately gay coded.

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Denim Jackets That Are Fleece-Lined

I’m putting the fleece-lined jackets up on top because between me and you (shhhh!) I’m getting this list of denim jackets up a little late and I’m well aware that if you live on the Canadian border, like yours truly, your cute little denim jacket days are already numbered!

Some of us were forced to trick-or-treating with our costumes stretched over our snow suits as children, alright!?!? But hey, now there’s global warming. So, I guess? Yay?

Denim Jackets That Are Also Trucker Jackets

Now if you’re paying attention, here is where you are going to ask me “Carmen what is the difference between a ‘trucker jacket’ and the ‘trucker jackets with lining’ that you just showed me in the section before?” And babe, I do not know!

It seems that “trucker jackets” are the vibe, the moment (you will see them all over this guide) — and who am I to argue? They are arguably pretty gender neutral.. though, on the face value of the thing, are not all denim jackets fairly gender neutral? Unless you get one of those ones that have a nipped in waist. But who’s to say a hoochie daddy doesn’t want to show off of their waistline! I’m spiraling.

Denim trucker jackets for sure feel gay. There’s something about the extra seam detail drawing from the pockets vertically down to the hemline that give them subtle “I don’t care, I’m here to work” razzle dazzle, and gays sure do love to razzle that dazzle. All I know is that I personally bought that oversized Gap trucker back in September (in XXL if you’re looking for yourself, I wear a size 18) and I have worn it every where, at all times, might as well bury me in it, and I have no regrets.

Denim Jackets That Are Also Trench Coats

A denim trench is what I believe should be in the updated uniform of mysterious power lesbians who have hard-wired boundaries where their gooey hearts should be, and the women who fall on their knees for them. And yes, this is a self-drag.

Denim Jackets That Have Hoods

Every single gay you know wears a hoodie layered underneath a denim jacket.  But what if the actual process of layering is just one too many steps for you? What if what you desire is a two-for-one combo? No judgement here. Be slouchy as fuuuuck.

Denim Jackets That Are White

Is white still considered unexpected for fall? Do we still follow archaic fashion rules like “no white after Labor Day” when Nothing Makes Sense Anymore^TM

I can’t imagine that we do! But just in case, see my vision. Go with me on a journey. Imagine wearing one of these coats layered over one of your all signature black ensembles and tell me that you wouldn’t feel like you stepped out of The House of Usher as some kinda October glam goth luxury personified? I thought so.

Denim Jackets That Are Black

Gays love black. Gays loves shoving their hands into denim pockets. That is some real 2+2=4 math right there.

Denim Jackets That Are Any Other Color Than Blue

Perhaps you already own a denim jacket or two, because after all, you are gay. In that situation what you might be looking for is not a denim jacket at all — or at least not in the traditional sense.

And yes, I theoretically could make a “taste the rainbow” joke here, but certainly we all agree that would be too crude, basic, and immature.

Or… ???

Cute Mugs for Achieving Cozy Queer Aesthetic Goals

Tis the season to wrap both hands around a steaming mug of your hot beverage of choice, step outside into the dewy morning wearing an oversized sweater or duster, and breathe in the fresh fall air like a dramatic gay divorcee looking to begin her life anew at the start of an autumnal rom-com. Or, you know, just the season to curl up in a chair at home with a good gay book and a mug big enough to keep you sustained through multiple chapters. In my household, we have a “get a mug, give a mug” policy where if anyone brings a new mug into the house, we have to give away or otherwise recycle an old mug (some have become pencil cups in my office). Too many mugs is a good problem to have by my book, but in a small kitchen like ours, it can get out of control quickly…

SO NATURALLY, I am window shopping online for mugs I absolutely don’t need 🥰  because I DO need a fall refresh! Here are some cute findings.

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Floral Pumpkin Mug ($16)

I honestly like all three colors so much that I feel like you have to get all three if you’re committing to this mug! I like that they’re pumpkin-shaped but don’t just look like pumpkins. The muted colors and simple floral patterns lend a certain cozy elegance. These could also make cute mini planters for a desk.

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Nature Studies Mug ($10)

This mushroom mug is on sale! There are also two other variations on this mug: one with a pear and one with a butterfly. And you can get matching dessert plates and serve a slice of pie on them. Luxury!

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Evergreen Ceramic Mug ($28)

It simply must be said that Anthropologie snapped with its seasonal ceramic mugs this year. This one would be good for a toddy situation.

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Speckled Stoneware Tree Mug ($7)

For those of you who like to be cozy but in a minimalist way.

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Cream Speckled Sweater Mug ($35)

The craftsmanship on this one is quite lovely, and I think there’s only one available at the moment since it’s homemade by an Etsy seller, so grab it while you can!

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Skeleton Drinking Coffee ($16)

For my spooky gays!

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Knitted Mug ($45)

It’s a mug! That looks like a sweater!!!! Perhaps a good option for the folks who got the Sweater Dad result on my What’s Your Gay Fall Aesthetic quiz.

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Live Laugh Lesbian Mug ($22)

I mean, obviously.

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Blue Mushroom Mug ($41)

I’m realizing it is absurd I don’t yet own a mushroom mug when I have a whole ass mushroom tapestry in my kitchen.

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Cat Tea Mug with Infuser ($29)

As a proud new Cat Mom™, I think I NEED this one.

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Stoneware Speckled Mugs 4 Pack ($13)

A set of four! I’m a sucker for speckled dishware, and I’m therefore a devotee of East Fork Pottery, but it’s at a higher price point, so here is a more budget friendly option.

Enter Sapphic Fall Mode With These Fresh Flannels

I freaking love fall. It’s always been my favorite time of the year, mainly because I love a good fall activity. A pumpkin patch, an apple orchard, a corn maze — bring it on. When I lived on the east coast, the change in temperature really signified the change in seasons. That first sign of crispness in the air meant I was grabbing at whatever fall jacket I could find. Now that I live on the west coast, that crispness isn’t quite there, but you do sometimes need to wear a layer when you leave the house. So for me, that go-to layer in fall (especially for my favorite fall activities) is a flannel.

I know…how utterly Basic Queer of me. But there’s a reason we hold on to flannels so tightly. They’re functional, and they’re super cute. It’s about time for our annual family trip to go apple and pumpkin picking, so I have flannel on the brain. If you’re looking for some new fall flannels to add to your rotation for your favorite fall activities, look no further.

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Everyday Flannels

Let’s start out with some basic, typical flannels. These are great with anything: jeans, sweats, cargos, whatever you want. I love a basic flannel because of its versatility. I can go from working on my couch, to picking up my kid from school, to dinner with my partner and not have to change my look.

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Flashy Femme Flannels

There’s nothing I love more than a fun flannel print. I tend to lean toward flannels with bright colors so that I can wear them on their own and don’t feel the need to layer them over another shirt. I’m having a hard time deciding which one of these to get first.

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Layering Flannels

I do often prefer to layer my flannels, because I tend to get warm. Plus layering is a fun way to experiment with different color combos or mix prints and styles. Because of the colors in these, they would be great for layering.

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Masc Flannels

I tend to go for flannels that are labeled as “women’s”, even if they’re “boyfriend” style shirts. If that’s not your vibe, these are flannels that are from the “men’s” section and feature a different fit than some of the other options.

Sun’s Out, Toes Out: My Favorite Nail Polishes for Summer Pedicures

Summer is my favorite season for a lot of reasons, but the main one is because it’s nail polish season. Of course you can paint your nails anytime you want to, but there’s just something about summer that makes me crave nail polish. I’m not a huge fan of manicures, because I mess with them too much, but I love a pedicure. Even though I live in a warm climate, there is still a period of time when it’s too damn cold to have my toes out. But once the sun is shining and the temperature is consistently higher than 75 degrees, it’s “sun’s out, toes out!”

I am constantly on the hunt for new nail polishes, even though I have at least a dozen. What can I say, I gotta keep things fresh. If you’re looking for some new polish colors for the summer, look no further!

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Reds & Oranges

People of Color – Rodeo Drive ($12)
This color reminds me of a Cadillac cruising with the top down on the aforementioned street. A true red, this color looks great on your hands or feet.

Nash + Pino – Joan ($16)
Everyone needs a bright orange polish for summer; it’s just a matter of fact.

Essie – Handmade with Love ($12.19)
This red-toned coral is the perfect shade for a breezy summer mani or pedi.

Pacifica – Summertime ($10)
This color is literally called Summertime. Need I say more?

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Purples

OPI Nail Lacquer – Do You Lilac It? ($12.49)
I love this color for this point in the year. It’s a great transition from spring to summer.

ORLY – Crash the Party ($10.50)
I love a grapey purple color for summer! This feels like the perfect purple for a pedicure.

China Glaze – That’s Shore Bright ($8.50)
I think we often associate pale colors with summer, but a deep purple really pops, especially out in the sunshine.

Pleasing – Live Laugh Lilac Polish ($20)
This lilac is a little more white toned, which means it will pop. Plus it comes with fun nail stickers!

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Neutrals

OPI Nail Lacquer – Barefoot in Barcelona ($13.99)
I love this rose-toned beige. It gives you a little bit of color and will work on any skin tone!

People of Color – Bronzed Beauty ($12)
Nothing says summer like a sunkissed bronze. If you don’t want it on your skin, you can absolutely have it on your nails. This is perfect for the beach.

OPI Nature Strong Nail Polish – Dawn of a New Grey ($11.59)
June gloom is definitely a thing, and having a pedi to match just feels right!

Sally Hansen Insta-Dri Nail Color – White on Time ($5.79)
You absolutely need a white nail polish to highlight your summer tan.

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Greens & Yellows

OPI Nail Lacquer – I’m So Swamped ($11.49)
The name of the polish gives me big Shrek vibes, but this vibrant green reminds me more of a four leaf clover.

Pleasing – Nonna’s Sorbet Polish ($20)
I love yellow nail polish, especially for summer. This yellow is more vibrant than its namesake sorbet; it’s pure sunshine in a bottle.

Essie – Unguilty Pleasures ($12.19)
I have always been obsessed with Essie’s teal and turquoise shades, and this one is no exception.

Sally Hansen Insta-Dri Nail Color – My Ca-banana ($5.79)
You absolutely need an obnoxiously bright banana yellow polish for summer!

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Blues

Nash + Pino – Cool Mom ($16)
The name of this electric blue polish is everything I wish I could be. Maybe I’ll just wear this color and dream of the life I could have had.

Essie – You Do You Blue ($10.79)
This blue gives me big mermaid vibes because of the lowkey shimmer it has.

Static Nails Liquid Glass Lacquer – Livin In A Dream ($16)
A sweet sky blue is perfect for days on the beach or at the pool.

ORLY – Gumdrop ($10.50)
Robin’s egg blue is another shade that feels perfect for the transition from spring to summer, and for days by the pool.

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Pinks

Nash + Pino – Whitley ($16)
The website says to wear this color “when feeling bougie” but it’s hot pink, which means you can wear it all day every day. It’s also named after one of my favorite TV characters. (IYKYK)

Essie – Muchi, Muchi ($10.79)
This cotton candy pink reminds me of county fairs and candy floss. Perfect summer vibes!

Static Nails Liquid Glass Lacquer – Malibu ($16)
You need a bubble gum pink this summer, because Barbiecore is EVERYTHING.

ILNP – Strawberry Shake ($10)
Looking at this nail polish just makes me want a strawberry shake.

36 Queer-Owned Businesses Selling LGBT T-Shirts To Support This Pride Season

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Autostraddle: Our #1 Most Favorite Queer-Owned Business

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Flavnt

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A Tribe Called Queer

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Style is Freedom

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dfrntpigeon

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Two Minds Press

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Kirrin Finch

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Lockwood51

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Sabor a Libertad

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FRE Collaborative

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Many Many Moons Ago on Etsy

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Wildfang

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MegemikoArt on Etsy

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Tomboy X

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Mi Vida

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Rebirth Garments

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The Phluid Project

Ash & Chess

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Queerly Designs on Etsy

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Tegan & Sara Foundation

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Official Rebrand

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Sparkletown Studios on Etsy

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Thugz Maison

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Jen Zeano Designs

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Demian Diné Yazhi’ on Etsy

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Haute Butch

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Queer Gear

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Stuzo Clothing

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Transfigure Print Co

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Kiernan Dunn on Etsy

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Gbee Studios on Etsy

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Bad Real Bad

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Decolonizing FitnessSaveSave

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One DNA Apparel

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Surpride on Etsy

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South Street Art Mart

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Countdown to Pride: New Autostraddle Merch and 20% Off Everything!

PREORDER: New Tees — Shipping May 25th

PREORDER: Restocked Faves !!! — Shipping May 25th

Pride Essentials

I May Just Be a Target Stan, but I Love All Their Pride Themed Merch

It’s that time of year again! Target has dropped their Pride merchandise for 2023 and I for one, could not be more excited. There are a lot of conversations about Pride themed merch and ethics, and look, I totally get it. It’s hard when you’re a marginalized group who seemingly only gets recognition for one month a year, even though we exist 365 days. And it’s hard to see major corporations profiting off of us when we know that money won’t make it back to the communities who need it the most. But insofar as corporations who put their money where their mouth is, Target ranks pretty high, so I don’t feel as bad about throwing them my extra dollars. They already get most of my money anyway.

I also really love that I can walk into a Target store and see a giant display full of rainbows and flags right next to where people are buying laundry detergent. It’s fun to know that some bigot is absolutely losing their shit over it while they buy said detergent. And honestly? The stuff is cute! I may just be a Target stan, but I love all of their Pride themed merch. (I even have the coveted Pride holiday nutcracker!) Here are the items from this year’s Pride merch drop that I’m salivating over.

Unfortunately, the “live, laugh, lesbian” tee is sold out online, so I will be stalking all of the stores in my area to find it.

Note: all shirts are available in a gender neutral cut up to size 4X

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Pride Mice Cat Toy Set ($5)

Any good cat lesbian will absolutely buy these cute little mice for the kitties to chase. Bonus, there’s catnip inside, which will make them irresistible.

Jenifer Prince Short Sleeve T-Shirt ($16)

I’m obsessed with Jennifer Prince art AND girls, so clearly, this is the shirt for me.(Unfortunately the shirt is sold out in most sizes, but there’s also a tote bag. And you can buy this Jenifer Prince Pride print made exclusively for Autostraddle.)

Pride Adult Sling Pack ($18)

I got one of these last year and we brought it to every Pride event we attended. But they’re great even beyond! We use ours for going to the dog park, the playground, the zoo, wherever!

Kids’ ‘It Takes All Kinds’ Short Sleeve T-Shirt ($10)

This is definitely the tee shirt my kiddo is going to want this year.

Ash + Chess Beanie ($15)

What is a queer without a beanie? This one proclaims “queer all year” and yes, the irony is not lost on me. *adds to cart*

FLAVNT ‘Girls Gays Theys’ Short Sleeve T-Shirt  ($16)

What’s not to love about this one? I’m here for them all!

Pride Portable Outdoor Chair ($26)

My partner and I are old, and we can’t sit on the ground anymore. Can’t wait to be the lesbian moms sitting on the gay chairs at the park.

FLAVNT ‘Queer Joy’ Cropped Tank Top ($13)

Queer joy is the whole point of celebrating Pride, isn’t it? This is a good reminder.

18″x30″ Pride Door Mat ($13)

My best friend sent this to me and I knew we needed it. It’s hilarious.

Ash + Chess ‘Queer’ Short Sleeve T-Shirt ($16)

I love the color of this shirt so much.

Trans Pride Power PHLUID Project Short Sleeve T-Shirt ($15)

Trans Pride and Trans Power today and everyday.

Love and Butter Pride Printed Oven Gloves and Mitten Set ($15)

For those of us who love to cook, these oven accessories are a must have. Nothing says I love you like something from the kitchen.

Pride Sparkle Shawl ($20)

I’m extra af, so this kind of stuff is right up my alley. You don’t need to just wear it for Pride either, this will look great on a Saturday night out! Dress it up, dress it down, you’ll always sparkle!

‘Not A Phase’ Short Sleeve T-Shirt ($15)

This is incredibly clever, and I LOVE this color

Pride Adult Shortalls ($30)

Shortalls were my Pride outfit of choice last year paired with a sports bra, so clearly I must buy these for this year.

Love is Love Pride Dog and Cat Tank Shirt from Boots & Barkley™ ($6)

Is the saying trite? Yes. Will I probably buy this for my dog? Also yes.

Is He You Know Short Sleeve T-Shirt ($16)

I’m sorry, I just love this shirt so much.

Trans Butterfly Socks ($8)

These socks will be cute with a pair of short shorts and sneakers. If you want to be festive, you can mix and match!

Cooler Bag ($21)

“Chosen Family is Love” is the truest sentiment. Carry this cooler bag to all of your summer fun with your chosen family.

Gayer PHLUID Project Cropped Short Sleeve T-Shirt ($15)

Yes, this is exactly the sentiment I need on a tee shirt.