Everybody’s favourite pair of Fuzzy Brown Caterpillars Attached To A Human Host Cara Delevingne graces the cover of Vogue this month, looking characteristically aloof in a purple Prada dress, hailing the arrival of summer and all that we may wear to celebrate it.
This, apparently.
The article is mostly an eye-rolling, gushy, very typical celebrity profile, seemingly designed to tell us what a cool, uninhibited rock star Cara is. The online version even includes a video of a bunch of her famous friends (Taylor Swift, Pharrell, Derek Zoolander) congratulating her on her prestigious Vogue cover (and teaching us once and for all how to pronounce her name. It’s KAHHH-RAHHH). Cara’s a wild child – she assures the writer that she can “find fun anywhere,” and the people in her life breathlessly inform Vogue about her rebellious party-kid lifestyle. Cara never meant to be a model forever, she declares — she always intended to be an actress! She’s so excited to really blossom as an actress, and the world seems finally ready for a hard-partying, approachable supermodel to really cross over! The article touches briefly on her difficult past, her dalliances with self-harm and drugs and her complicated relationship with her mother Pandora, who has suffered from lifelong drug addiction. It also tells us that she played drums as a kid, which is goddamn adorable and maybe explains something about her relationship with her girlfriend, guitar wizard Annie Clark.
Oh yeah, her girlfriend! At long last, Vogue finally get around to asking about her:
Those who have been gathering the crumbs on Cara’s romantic trail may be confused about whether it’s men or women who excite her. She conveys a Millennial’s ennui at the expectation that she ought to settle upon a sexual orientation, and her interests—video games, yes; manicures, no—might register as gender-defiant in the realm of dresses and heels. (“I’m a bro-ey chick,” says Cara.)
Wait, what? I wouldn’t expect Vogue to sensitively consider the wide spectrum of human sexuality, but what does this even mean?!?!?
It is at this point that I realize this profile was absolutely 100% written by a dude. Not a man, but a dude.
Cara states, “I think that being in love with my girlfriend is a big part of why I’m feeling so happy with who I am these days. And for those words to come out of my mouth is actually a miracle.” Cara Delevingne has never publicly addressed her relationship with Annie Clark, or really been very forthcoming about her relationships at all! This is a huge deal! They seem so happy and in love and it’s so cute!
The author presses on, noting that “as this story went to press, [Delevingne] was seriously involved with the singer Annie Clark, better known by her stage name, St. Vincent.” As this story went to press, we were probably busy declaring love a lie – but don’t worry, guys, they’re still together! Who throws shade at an interview subject’s relationship like that?
The dude who wrote this article goes on to ask Cara about the development of her sexuality, and she explains that it was a difficult road to self-acceptance.
“It took me a long time to accept the idea, until I first fell in love with a girl at 20 and recognized that I had to accept it,” she explains. “But I have erotic dreams only about men. I had one two nights ago where I went up to a guy in the back of a VW minivan, with a bunch of his friends around him, and pretty much jumped him.” Her parents seem to think girls are just a phase for Cara, and they may be correct. “Women are what completely inspire me, and they have also been my downfall. I have only been hurt by women, my mother first of all.
“The thing is,” she continues, “if I ever found a guy I could fall in love with, I’d want to marry him and have his children. And that scares me to death because I think I’m a whole bunch of crazy, and I always worry that a guy will walk away once he really, truly knows me.” When I suggest to Cara that to trust a man, she might have to revise an old and stubborn idea of hers—that women are perennially troubled and therefore only women will accept her—her smile says she concedes the point.
Her smile says she concedes the point. Her smile says she concedes the point. HER SMILE SAYS SHE CONCEDES THE POINT.
You heard it here first — bisexuality is caused primarily by mommy issues and general insecurities. Maybe Cara just hasn’t found the right man yet? The author of this article can tell Cara agrees with him, because she smiled.
That’s Vogue magazine, a magazine for women. A magazine made for women to read. Thanks, Vogue.
I love this. Though I miss Michelle Rodriguez. But then that makes Michelle available now? Oops. Cara this is abaout Cara…. Kahhh-Rahhh
Reading the excerpts made me feel slimy.
Right there with you!
Can we nominate this discussion to be submitted Autostraddle formspring style and pretend it was someone whose date said all this to them and they’re really confused and need the help of the community to dissect and analyze exactly what was being said and what it could mean?
Her pointing out her fantasies or whatever def raises an eyebrow. It’s hard to assess whether she’s in a super vulnerable place or a more passive “it is what it is,” not stress about it place. I think vulnerable is more likely, which I think she may be as she’s had some pretty random feelsy tweets/instagram vague words accompanied by passive aggressive or overtly positive images, posts over the past year or so.
Stef as always, I commend you on your coverage of things always relevant to what’s going on in my mind. I had pretty much the same reaction of wtf, eh well this IS Vogue, so..mehhh. I think the only way, if there’s even really a NEED, to get a clear picture of Cara, it’s through her own words via a youtube long ass unfiltered/edited vlog which I don’t really see her doing anytime soon. McKayla Maroney has started doing this recently and WOW it’s been so amazing to just get to know *her* without the filter of a reporters narrative/editing, focus on accomplishments/fluffy competitive/drama question bating.
It’s interviews like this that help put an extra mental “chill out” regarding any feelings I have about wishing for a celeb to “come out” or be more outspoken about these sorts of things. Really, it’s quite clear why anyone who values their sanity would want to be extremely hesitant, regardless of how strong/supported they are in their actions/identities.
Good thing nobody reads Vogue these days! But holy shit does the interview have ‘edited to death’ written all over it.
I also love how the writer tries to pin it on those wacky millenials! Who knows what sex they’ll have next? The womens can have sex with the womens, but marrying and having children with one? That never happens!
Those wacky millennials and their sexuality ennui! It’s no wonder there’s so many queer kids around, since millenials grew up in a peer environment free of “the expectation that [we] ought to settle on a sexual orientation.”
… eww, the more I think about it, the grosser than quote makes me feel. “Settle on a sexual orientation?” = apparently bi/pan/queer aren’t valid options, apparently. Ugh.
Gross is an appropriate word!
also apparently phases aren’t a valid thing to have! You know, this whole “grow up and pick one” thing makes me icky because it’s like, if she ends up with a man then all her feelings right now are invalidated? as if NOBODY ever has feelings outside the scope of what is typical for them? as if kids are the only ones allowed to have experiences?
also i have a feeling there’s a bit of misogyny in this sentiment that “pesky millenials” who defy labels need to settle down and pick one, because though it’s never explicitly said, it’s usually applied in the context of young women who are enjoying themselves and discovering themselves and then some man goes, “it’s ok you’ll pick one when you’re ready.”
At first I thought “I bet Annie feels weird about this,” and then I realized she’s probably envisioning an entire universe inside a glob of toothpaste right now.
Yeah. Cara seems a lil immature for her
I had this exact thought (minus the toothpaste)
This interview is so uncomfortable to read. It’s giving me flashbacks to the 90s.
This article was so cringeworthy and did not make me like Cara any more than I already do, which is not at all. Part of that is mostly the author’s fault who is unbelievably gross. Still, I mostly find her personality obnoxious any other time anyway. I saw a few other articles about this Vogue article and they all put the words “girlfriend” and “in love” in scare quotes. So Vogue isn’t the only media that is invalidating her sexuality. It is so frustrating and exhausting how much society treats attraction to women like a phase in between finding the right man. And Vogue isn’t just any magazine. It’s one of the biggest magazines marketed towards women in the world and a lot of young girls are going to buy this particular issue because Cara is on the cover. I find it incredibly damaging that they will have to read this take on female sexuality in it’s pages.
Way to go, Vogue. You took what should have been a moment to celebrate and made me feel icky about it.
And when are men going to learn that when a woman smiles at them, the secret meaning behind the smile isn’t always, “I agree with everything you just said. Men are the greatest!” It could, in fact, mean, “I want to rip your head off and use it as a soccer ball.”
My smile means the second one on a regular basis and never the first.
Smile = I can’t believe you just said that, but I’m not interested in a confrontation right now, so I’m just going to smile and hope you change the subject now.
That would be my firs interpretation of a smile like that! Oh how I would smile and smile in that interview…
This is exactly it.
Hey Stef, was “Everybody’s favourite pair of Fuzzy Brown Caterpillars Attached To A Skinny Human Host” really necessary?
Like I get it’s meant to be humorous, but it comes across pretty snarky and dehumanising. Especially after how badly Vogue treated her in that piece.
But otherwise your take on this story is spot on imo. I couldn’t believe how fucking weird it was. When I saw it was written by a dude, it made more sense. What a condescending dickbag.
I think Cara was brave to openly confirm her relationship with Annie and how happy it makes her, that was really positive. And honestly speaking about mental health/addiciton/suicide was also brave. She just…didn’t come across too well in the rest of the interview re: sexuality stuff. It’s hard to tell how much of that is due to what she actually said, and what the dude just assumed/straight up pulled out of his arse.
yeah, i know, we’ve called cara an animate pair of eyebrows like six other times? i think it should be fairly obvious we’re mildly teasing but i did edit out the word ‘skinny.’ this has never ever been a malicious space, and i feel like cara is doing just fine.
yeah, a lot of what she said was cringe-worthy, but i would imagine that a lot of what she said was in response to very guided questions about whether or not she’d ever fall in love with a man, or if she ever thought about men, and what about this man? what a class act.
Thanks, I think it was definitely the ‘skinny’ bit that felt a bit mean.
It’s also irritating af that the writer insinuated she was seriously thinking about cheating on her girlfriend at the very end. I can imagine that was a very jokey moment but he portrayed it as something else entirely for shock value. What a hack.
“She conveys a Millennial’s ennui at the expectation that she ought to settle upon a sexual orientation” WHAT DOES THAT EVEN MEAN?!?
i used to aubscribe aimulatenously to vogue and gq (so i could cut out pretty lady faces and put them on smartly dressed man bodies) and the jornalism for gq, which is essentially “man vogue” was so much better. ive always hated how vogue writes for women–it seems like they go, oh well, women dont REALLY read so lets just get some stupid intern to write this article. gross
but yay cara and annie! love! its real!
i imagine her with a dramatic hand over her forehead.
Just dropping in to say your cut and paste job is genius
also, uh, ~not all interns~
I totally agree that “her smile says she concedes the point” is some bulllllllshit, but she said herself that she hadn’t found the right man yet!
Which is valid for her even though it does go along the negative bi stereotype. I just don’t like her very much.
I don’t think that’s what she meant though. You also don’t know what lead to her saying that because this isn’t a transcript. She said IF I COULD fall in love with a guy which leads me to believe she can’t. That desire to want to settle down with a man because life would be easier isn’t uncommon, I think that’s what she was trying to say.
The sucky thing is, unless it comes up somewhere else, we’ll never know. Because the writer never explains. And he’s obviously making a lot of stuff upp entirerly, from his own ideas about Young women and sexuality…
yeah these statements would be gross by themselves if they didn’t come with extra paragraphs explaining how confused she obviously is. i have a feeling a lot of guiding questions preceded most of these statements. it’s terribly written in any event.
“Her parents seem to think girls are just a phase for Cara, and they may be correct.”
I once went through this phase everyone called “puberty” and although it eventually stopped I’m pretty sure I would be a totally different person without it.
What a lovely analogy! That’s what I hate most about the “just a phase” rhetoric: just because something’s temporary doesn’t mean it’s not important.
“Cara just doesn’t trust men because [blahblah I’m basically Freud] but it’s cool she totally trusts me, the douchey Vogue reporter, enough to open up and have a totally honest conversation even if I say shitty things, because I’m different #notallmen”
Aaaaah exactly.
The interview excerpt mansplaining made me uncomfortable to the point where I ended up skipping over it so I could get to the beautiful part where Stef sasses everything
The mansplaining didn’t bother me nearly as much as what actually came out of Cara’s mouth. Let’s be real. She pretty much embodied the crazy confused will eventually dump you for a man, in the worse possible drama filled scenario, bi stereotype.
I kind of thought she was this badass doing her own thing and now I’m like whaaa?
But did what Cara say come from the interviewers clear biases? The way someone asks questions could very well change the way someone answers a question. His incessant need to assure the reader that Cara could be going through a phase could have seeped into the actual interview which would have made her answer a certain way in order to not be combative or whatever. In my opinion if this interview was handled by someone else, it would have been completely different.
yeah I’m not about her. I really like Annie Clark but I don’t really get them together
I deal with the media for a living, and I’m still constantly appalled by how they manipulate quotes out of context to suit their agenda. It’s so hard to know exactly what went down here.
urghhh. This mansplaining was terrible, and I feel like the interviewer is prob part of the reason why even the quoted things Cara said didn’t sound good too. What a ruined interview for smthng that could have been good. Bummer.
Maybe you can invite Cara over and show Vogue how to do a proper interview with her?
“Those who have been gathering the crumbs on Cara’s romantic trail may be confused about whether it’s men or women who excite her.”
Wow, so she can’t be “excited” by both men AND women? Glad to know that bisexuality isn’t a legitimate sexual orientation.
The Vogue article was just so gross and offensive. I love how the author feels the need to qualify Cara’s love for Annie with two subsequent paragraphs about her sexual “confusion.”
don’t even get me started on “gathering the crumbs on [her] romantic trail.”
BUT WAIT! I’m adopted! So which mommy caused my issues/bisexuality? The perfect sweet angel who raised me and has loves and accepted me my whole life? Or the conservative republican Christian who gave birth to me? How do I get in touch with this dude to clear up this mess?
*loved
So here’s what I got reading between the lines of what that dude-bro wrote:
Cara Delevingne is physically attracted to both men and women, but has only fallen in love with women, and can only see herself in love with women in the future?
Well if that’s the case she’s perfectly summed up my make-believe bisexuality!
Between this and Vanity Fair’s comments on that YouTube beauty guru who just came out (insinuating she did it for attention) I’m thinking these fashion magazines need to just be picture books until they can find competent writers.
I didn’t know Vanity Fair did that. How disgusting.
Women are what completely inspire me / But they have also been my downfall / I have only been hurt by women / my mother first of all
Cara may have a country song on her hands.
Cara is a multi-talented young woman. She can model, she can act, she can sing, she can fall in love with girls and have erotic dreams ONLY about men. Way to go.
Ugh, cringe. What? There has to be more to what she said that was omitted in order to pass her off as “straight.” What’s more fucked up is that if she were dating a dude, that probably would’ve been the center of the article.
So fucking true. And then if she had said she only had erotic dreams about women that would only have been written about as a sexy but irrelevant detail.
“hey fellas! you still have a chance!”
“…at a threesome ;) ;) ;)”
Bleeeeeurgh.
Also soz to be a pain but ‘The article touches briefly on her difficult past, her dalliances with self-harm’…? I just… really hate references to stuff like self-harm (or EDs or other feminised mental health issues) as ‘dalliances.’ It totally plays into the idea of self-harm as something done wholly by a person’s volition, where they are totally in control and where it’s ultimately more ‘playful’ than serious. Rather than what it often is; a compulsive, horribly painful symptomcause of mental health struggles.
Ugh, stuff like this is why I don’t come out as bisexual to more people. I’m so paranoid about them trying to analyze everything about me to try to figure out what my sexuality “really” is, even though I know what my sexuality really is and I’d tell them if I just trusted they’d listen!
Cara, babes… Hang on…
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/health/article-2908238/Bisexual-women-likely-suffer-mental-health-problems-lesbians.html
The article would probably have said her smile said she conceded even if she had lifted the sides of her mouth with her middle fingers.
“I suggest to Cara that to trust a man, she might have to revise an old and stubborn idea of hers—that women are perennially troubled and therefore only women will accept her”
WHAT. THE. FUCK.
“She conveys a Millennial’s ennui at the expectation that she ought to settle upon a sexual orientation”
/Because bisexuality is not a sexual orientation, y’all. /end sarcasm
“Her smile says she concedes the point. Her smile says she concedes the point. HER SMILE SAYS SHE CONCEDES THE POINT.
You heard it here first — bisexuality is caused primarily by mommy issues and general insecurities. Maybe Cara just hasn’t found the right man yet? The author of this article can tell Cara agrees with him, because she smiled.”
I am enthusiastically high-fiving you through the internet for this. THANK YOU.
Like I was facepalming about the Vogue article and you have eloquently expressed my disdain through proper sarcasm.
This writer was the grossest of the gross. I wouldn’t put any quote manipulation past him. You know what kind of people say things like “her smile says she concedes the point?” Rapists.
Bravo, so well put.
Only has erotic dreams about men?? Um..dude, you’re dating Annie-freaking-Clark. *facepalm* What is even happening.