Header by Rory Midhani
Jessie J, Ariana Grande, and Nicki Minaj came together for “Bang Bang” which could have been some sort of mini “Lady Marmalade” situation but, unfortunately, is not. I now find Jessie J annoying and after watching the VMAs, it’s apparent Ariana Grande has negative personality. When I watch her I feel like I’m sacrificing part of my personality to an unknown being.
After seeing the “My Song 5” video, I’m very interested in this HAIM situation and mostly wondering if you all know anything about them slash have inklings about any of them being queer because I am now severely into their whole entire deal whereas before I was just somewhat into their music. Also in the middle of the video they all wear leather jackets and start a coven? I don’t know why witchcraft is a gay thing but it for sure is probably because of Hermione’s omnipresence in our youth.
Hannah Hart tries to get to the bottom of whether a girl is gay or not in her helpful How to Ask if a Girl is Gay video. In my experience, it’s never as simple as just asking but it should be and isn’t because of the patriarchy.
Jon Stewart finally delivers his signature smackdown of Bill O’Reilly, Sean Hannity, and other dumb dumbs about their handling of Ferguson news coverage and basically their complete lack of understanding of the way race functions in America.
Amy Poehler seemed genuinely annoyed by Neal Brennan being unaware of his male privilege while doing an interview for his show, “The Approval Matrix” and thusly lays into him before slyly moving into a “funny” answer. I love it when Poehler gets annoyed with stuff like this and just goes off for a quick second then goes back into her comedic persona. It’s probably what people would call “sneak attack” feminism but it’s more along the lines of “I am so tired of you people” feminism.
This is Brittani’s Video Party, where I bring some of the “best” videos from all over my internet together so we can clap, cry or deconstruct. Have you ever gotten to a video and it already has 33 million views and you wonder where the heck have you been? Well I’m here to help you so that you see it when it only has 32 million views. Aim low, world. Aim low.
I think I would like Bang Band a lot better if Jessie J and Ariana Grande had no part in it. Nicki Minaj is the whole person in that trio that doesn’t drive me up a wall but I think that’s mostly because I don’t pay attention to her enough.
The whole Grande family has become really annoying as of late and apparently her reality show famewhore brother thinks lesbians choose to be that way because of bad experiences with men so he can jump off a bridge any day now.
Isn’t her brother like super gay though? Then what a super dick. Gross.
Yes, he is. Which is why I found his comments even more disturbing than if they had come from a straight male. And he used it in the context of trying to “educate” his fellow BB housemates about gay people. Just, no. No! I don’t need this kid going on national television and trying to “educate” straight people by telling them that lesbians are only lesbians because they got tired of being jerked around by guys but gay men are just born that way and can’t help themselves. Go away forever, Frankie Grande and take your sister with you.
Whoaaa I was completely unaware of this whole situation that’s fucked.
Ugh I know it’s beyond gross. And while we’re on the subject of the Grande family- I actually went to school with one of Frankie’s brothers and he turned out to be a totally misogynistic, homophobic bro-douchebag.
“how bad can bang bang be,” i thought, and now i am full of regret
Hannah Hart is such a babe.
^ an obvious statement that nevertheless does not get old
Yes to Amy Poehler. That guy didn’t seem to get it. I mean, like he doesn’t seem to get *anything*.
Right!?! When she said that I was like “Yes!” then his basic ass missed the whole point.
Worse is that he looked like his precious boo-boo feelings were hurt.
precious boo boo feelings hahaha
oh shit that HAIM music video is supes gay, woah
I am obsessed with Haim and their potential queerness, which I have heard is real from a questionably reliable semi-tangential source. See also This.
lol like the lot of them? They can’t ALL be queer. The world would end.
I claim Este Haim. (In a non-creeper-stalker kinda just wanna hold hands and bang way)
That Hannah Hart video. That’s about 95% of my conversations, I feel. There’s no good/right way to tell how someone identifies.
And by “tell”, I mean “ask”. Proofread, Rachel.
That Amy Poehler video was the perfect mix of clever/eloquent + “I’m so tired of your unbelievable fucking cluelessness that I cannot summon up any fucks to give about your whiny feelings on this matter.” Like, that reaction before she moves into the joke is just what I want to be when I grow up.
for me the Bang Bang song is kinda like my secret summer anthem but i’m all about the unsung heroes, right. like whoever is singing on that hook, cuz those voices don’t sound like jessie j or arianna pequeño, they sound like some 20 ft from stardom singers and i wanna know who they are because they’re the ones giving that song life.
and idc what anyone says, nicki always makes me pause cuz just like fuckkkk…she fine.
When did Nicki Minaj say any of this?
The comment I actually clicked ‘reply’ to was nowhere near this one… damn you mobile.
also ever since jessie j came out as straight i’m just like BYE GIRL BYE.
the act of coming out as straight just irks me. it irked me when lady gaga did it too.
like, if you don’t have nothing new to say, don’t say anything. not a damn thing.
coming out has traditionally been an act of rebellion, an act of solidarity and vulnerability. it’s been a way to share a truth that at once is a source of great pride and love but also something that fucking hurts so bad that swallowing it down and denying it is close to being dead.
so when some bama ass pop star uses it cuz they don’t like the fact that people might think they’re “a gay”, i’m done with them. like for realz.
whoa, hi rant, how you doing friend?
ps- these feelings are simply for pop stars who come out as straight on some bullshit. when someone expresses feelings for the opposite sex in a genuine way, maybe this person was lez forever and now has a crush on a boy or like whatever the case may be, like I obvs support that person. that is also a serious situation re: feelings that make you feel crazy and not a publicity stunt.
Yeah, I felt the exaaaaaact same way watching the video. Now all we need is for Ariana to say she’s bi for a few months, then retract it, then we’ve got a Holy Trinity up in Bang Bang.
(Lady Gaga is straight now? Yoy…)
preach
Amennnnn
It REALLY made me pissed when Lady Gaga did it. Like, someone so notorious for making money off our backs and appropriating our community, who insisted she was bi, then comes out as straight… it was just gross. I am 1000% done with her. Jessie J I’m still okay with, marginally (though my interest in her did wane when she felt the need to announce her heterosexuality) because she kind of clarified her statements, but the fact that we’re not all super bent out of shape over Lady Gaga “coming out” as straight is so weird to me. It makes me seethe when I think about it.
Lady Gaga never came out as straight. If you’re referencing those Tumblr post that were circulating around, that linked back to a grossly biphobic article, twisting the words of one of her Instagram captions to make it seem that she was stating that she was straight then no. Unless she explicitly says the words “I am straight.” (or some clear variation of that) then I am more inclined to believe 4+ years of her openly claiming her bisexuality over some Instagram caption that could be skewed against her.
Lord knows she has done plenty of questionable and flat out offensive things that I would never try to defend but the fact that so many people are jumping to discredit her bisexuality over something as trivial as a weirdly worded Instagram caption rather than believing the explicit declarations of bisexuality that she has made throughout her entire career, is gross.
And I went through so many pages of my blog to find this again (http://thevictorspoiled.tumblr.com/post/90794975937/gaga-favorited-this-tweet-confirming-the-fact-that)
Thanks for the clarification. The idea that Lady Gaga would come out as straight seemed so strange to me, as did the fact that I hadn’t heard about it. One amiguous instagram caption shouldn’t negate everything she has explicitly stated about her sexulity.
Thank You, gabrielle. I didn’t want to say anything because I’ve already ranted about Jessie J’s “I only like men now. I’m even gonna write a song about it.” coming out as straight quite enough already.
What pissed me off about her wasn’t so much that she says she’s straight now since their plenty of average women who have done that. It was more about the actual execution of it. At least Nicki Minaj admits that she was a lying ass liar who did it mostly for publicity. But Jessie was coy about it for months, dropping hints to fans, refusing to talk to the press about her sexuality, then she went on page-long twitter rants about it that any publicist in their right mind would have looked at and advised her “Oh, girl. No!” This was also following that ridiculous song she wrote about “Jessie only wants a man” to accompany her coming out and I just have no desire to hear anything she sings ever again after that to the point of wishing her new album flops again. They didn’t even bother releasing her second album here last year.
When did Nicki Minaj say any of this?
This was a long time ago after her first album came out. She admitted in a magazine interview(might have been Rolling Stone)that she wasn’t actually bisexual and references to her attraction to women previously was mostly just her trying to make a name for herself.
Actually, here is the article. http://www.rollingstone.com/music/news/nicki-minaj-opens-up-on-childhood-abuse-sexuality-19691231
This, exactly.
Once I was dancing with a girl at an after party non-queen space and she asked “are you gay?” And I said, “uh, no, i’m bi” and she said “me too” and then we made out. True story. Followed by some dates. So, direct approach is not a bad idea.
Ha, non-queer space.
living the dream
I’m not so secretly hoping Danielle Haim (lead singer/guitarist) is gay. She might just be the love of my life.
She is a perfect human, I think.
I’m pretty sure Este Haim alluded to or confirmed that she’s bi. And I high-fived a million angels that day.
I have heard that the the Haim girls are definitively not gay, but I hold out hope on Danielle.
Nawwww, I like Ariana. Not her brother so much, but as far as I know she’s done nothing but be cute and have a big voice and perfect hair.
I liked the aesthetics of the video too, but it could have benefited from a plotline. Something about it was bland as hell. Also Beats need to chill with all these labels it has product placement deals with. We get it. The pink Beats Pill exists.
I wanted to make it through the HAIM video, cause I love a gay music video, but the actual music was just so bad.
Hannah has finally moved from everything adorable and wonderful to full on hot to me. I don’t know if I’m happy about it. One more lovely lady I’ll never meet :p.
Same. But if I ever do meet her, the first words out of my mouth are gonna be “Me! I’m Gay! Gay person right here!” Just making it easier for her, yanno?
Love, love, love Haim. I saw them live and My Song 5 was my favorite! They seem like they have a good time performing together. Not sure about queerness but I do get some sapphic vibes. I’m not sure if I wanna be Danielle or be her lady… no wait, I’m sure, it’s both. Also, I would steal her whole wardrobe. Maybe it speaks to their potential queerness that both Alana and Este agree that Danielle has the best sartorial style.