Letter From Your Editors

Hello!

It is the season of thanks and guess what we’re thankful for: YOU. Also, a few other things, as pictured:

L to R, starting from the top – ROW ONE: Bren and Willow, Stef and a vegan pizza bagel, Maddie and postcards from friends, Chelsey and Erin, Cara and a giant turtle ROW TWO: Laura and M, Rachel and boxed wine, KaeLyn and Waffle, Laneia and Megan, Audrey and her Mom. ROW THREE: Carmen with Eli and Geneva, Ali and a bagel sandwich, Fikri and her queer friends in Singapore, Hannah and Gushers, Kate and Aimee. ROW FOUR: Lydia and her BFF, Riese and Abby, Robin and coffee, Brittani and basketball, Alley and sake

The holidays are busy and intense around here: we’re making amazing gift guides as usual, hoping to rack up 1,000 members by year’s end, stocking up on beloved merch and introducing some excellent new merch items that’ll really just float your boat all the way down the river into a wave pool of endless love and affection.

Also, Carmen and Heather have united to re-vamp how we do our social media and we’re already seeing incredible results. We publish SO MUCH amazing stuff every day, but most of our readers only pop in for the vapid fluff, the stuff that goes viral and the stuff that sparks controversy — and we’re hoping a more personalized social media strategy will get more eyeballs on the less-trafficked but wildly amazing work we publish on the reg. (Speaking of, our Trans Editor Mey Rude did a kickass job planning content for the week of the Transgender Day of Remembrance that you should check out if you haven’t already. Also have you kept up with Daily Misfits? Because it’s killer.)

Other updates for y’all:

• We’ve been recording podcast segments all week and now our editors, Samara and Julia, are editing the first podcast! In retrospect, we never should’ve assumed we could start making a monthly podcast straight out of the gate, obviously any project that isn’t “writing a post” takes us a while to get off the ground. (sidenote from Riese: PERSONALLY I need not access “retrospect” to summon that feeling, ’cause I said from day one that it wouldn’t be possible straight out of the gate but nobody listened to me. EVEN THOUGH I KNOW EVERYTHING.)
• Seriously though can you believe that we have recorded and edited three podcasts now that never saw the light of day
• We’ve hired THREE new interns — Raquel, Nikki and Cecelia. Cecelia is Riese’s intern and the other two are for THE WHOLE FAMILY. You’ll meet Cecelia in this Insider and Raquel and Nikki in next week’s!
• We’re up to 765 paid members!
• If you read this site on mobile, you might not be aware of all the amazing A+ discounts we’ve been sending your way, but you’ll definitely want to pay attention to this one: until December 1st, all A+ members can get 20% off Autostraddle Merch using the code APLUS20.
• We’ve added a lot of new merchants to our Affiliate Marketplace — don’t forget if you’re doing any holiday shopping online, doing that through our affiliate links is an easy way to support Autostraddle.

We’ve also moved the team to Slack, this virtual office situation that’s taking the world by storm, and it’s AWESOME. It’s good news for The Insider too, ’cause Slack makes conversations amongst team members so much easier — but ’cause we can’t afford a paid account (it’s $7/month per person, and we have a 40-person team, so!), our message history is deleted periodically and we’re still getting the hang of copy/pasting good convos as they happen so bear with us during this time of HOPE AND CHANGE.

We hope you enjoyed this month’s A+ content, which included Kaelyn’s inspirational tale of How We Survived Lesbian Bed Death, Heather Hogan’s hilarious Interview with her ex-girlfriend, Carolyn’s sweet sad Interview with her ex-girlfriend, a spooky edition of the A+ Bee, a nutritious edition of the A+ Bee and Music Editor Stef’s Birthday Party.

Lastly, we just wanna remind you that we are SO THANKFUL FOR YOU.

Love,

Riese / Laneia / Rachel / Yvonne / Heather

Top 10 Most Popular Posts From October 2014

These posts were hella popular last month. 

1. PHOTOESSAY: “Modern Conception” Perfectly Captures Queer Pregnancy, Features Michelle Tea, by Erin Dow
2. 22 Badass QTPOC Couples That Make Our Hearts Flutter, by the QTPOC Speakeasy
3. White Lesbian Couple Starts Family, Comes With Unwanted Blackness, by Gabby
4. Wait, Are Evan Rachel Wood Bisexual and Kate Moennig Dating?, by Stef
5. NSFW Lesbosexy Sunday Will Kiss You For One Hundred Years, by Carolyn
6. 10 Tegan and Sara Halloween Costumes To Make Everyone So Jealous, by Maddie
7. Greyscale Goods Wants To Help You Build The Androgynous Wardrobe Of Your Dreams, by Carmen
8. 50 Pumpkin Recipes That Will Put your Latte To Shame, by Rachel
9. Where The (Queer) Girls Are Gonna Be On Your TV This Year, by Riese
10. NSFW Sunday Likes It Rough, by Carolyn

“wer can i buy toy sex am a lesbian n need it my digit are 072 4266 180”
-an e-mail we got this month

Nine Important Excerpts From Editorial Conversations

Laneia: You’re such an angel when you give feedback! How do you do it?
Rachel: I don’t know, I had a long g-chat with my best friend about what the word ‘self-care’ means today and now I feel like my brain is made out of styrofoam
you know that feeling when you look at a word too many times and it ceases to make sense
I think I feel that way about the whole internet
Laneia: That’s exactly how i feel after sifting through 500+ headlines a day in feedly when 300 of them are taylor swift related and 280 of those are about how she left her apartment w/out drying her hair
Riese: Ugh she must have the best serum ever

Laura: Pitch: a vapid fluff article wherein I describe five scenes from Keira Knightly’s girl-date prom and an intern makes it happen with photoshop
I bet they slow danced to “Never Had A Dream Come True” by S Club 7
Stef:  I had no idea when I went to my junior prom with a boy who brought a cane with a skull on top and asked the DJ to play Marilyn Manson and actually scared one of the cheerleaders by telling her he had her soul that what I really REALLY needed was Keira Knightley in leather pants and a crop top
Rachel: I just got here and see that it’s been a big morning already

Rachel: this is taken out of context from mari’s article, but god, doesn’t this sound like punishment for war criminals: “announcing in September that the institution would take undertake a year-long “conversation” about the concept of womanhood”
Laneia: Yes, I would give up everything to stop that conversation
A year! They’ve already set aside a year for it
You could bang that out in like 20 mins over coffee
Rachel: Right, that’s like something you muse about for a half hour while stoned before giving up and watching a rerun of Sabrina The Teenage Witch
Laneia: Shit, I can’t think of anything i want to talk about for a year
Rachel: Periods
It’s periods
Laneia: Oh yeah true, I could talk about that for years
Heather: I never even thought about watching Sabrina while stoned! What a great idea!

Riese: Just wanna throw it out there that Samira Wiley would look really nice in the scissoring sweatshirt
Heather: I’m working on getting to her. I am getting closer. She is locked up tighter than Laura Prepon, which blows my mind.

Laura: Guys the New York Times reviewed Mockingjay and they called Katniss a “boundary-smashing butch goddess of dystopian cinema”
I feel like nobody understands what butch means
Stef: I would watch the movie starring the character they described though
Mari: Holy fuck, if Katniss is butch, then I’m…mega-ultra-butch. (note: I’m not actually very butch at all.)
Stef: I need to go home
I need a hot boundary smashing butch goddess to change my tire

Stef: If only there was a list of things to do with an eggplant
(i hate eggplant)
Riese: i hate eggplant too
Rachel: give them to me then
give me your tired, your hungry, your eggplant
Stef: Your slimy grey masses yearning to lie uselessly on top of sandwiches

Carmen: Okay guys we lost the democratic senate and everything is ummmmmm awful? UGHHHHHH
Cee: I think we got legal pot in Oregon though so there’s that.
Rachel: Is it legal to sculpt a progressive candidate out of weed and have them take office
Cee: No, but it dulls the pain.

Laneia: CARMEN how do you feel about #happyholigays
Carmen: WHOA I AM KIND OF IN LOVE WITH IT
Laneia: RAD
#happyholigays it is
Carmen: omg omg omg so cute
people can WISH EACH OTHER HAPPY HOLIGAYS WITH IT
Laneia: #holigays was already in use by ppl with an affinity for naked men w/ mistletoe on their cocks so this feels a lot more authentic
Rachel: Is the idea that you’re supposed to crawl under their crotches with a partner and then kiss? it seems overly complicated
Carmen: This entire concept might ruin the season for me

Laneia: I came here to see if I could use the butthole washing convo as a “the kind of sex we’re talking about today”-type post but that whole chat is gone now so I’m just going to cry for a minute.
Alley: So I didn’t want to say anything until I knew it would work and I’m still not 100% sure it has but I think I have the butt stuff you need, Laneia.
Rachel: how quickly can we print that out and frame it
Stef: “I think i have the butt stuff you need”
I love this job

Meet Some New Contributors!

Get to know some of our newest faces.

Yao Xiao, Illustrator

Website: yaoxiaoart
Tumblr: yaoxiaoart
Twitter: @yaoxiaoart
Instagram: yaoxiaoart
Facebook: yaoxiaoart
Tencent Weibo:  yaoxiaoart

If you could only use one emoji for the rest of your life, what would it be?
This one in WeChat Messenger:

It is what I use most of the time anyway! Sometimes I desperately need it in regular text messenger and I’m sad that it’s not there.

What is your favorite kind of sandwich?
Currently: curried anything with avocado, on sour dough or rye. I get it from this one place in Brooklyn and I still think about it all the time.

Describe the worst date you’ve ever been on.
On a first date, someone insisted on having sushi, then revealed at the dinner table they didn’t know how to use chopsticks. They had a very sad time trying to eat with their hands and telling them it’s okay.

What’s your favorite sex toy?
Boss Lady made by Fun Factory, exclusively for Babeland. It’s got this matte velvety texture and it’s hot pink. And it’s a tie with the pink glass tentacle. I’m a visual person and I really enjoy pretty sex toys.

What’s your #1 turn-on?
People who can be laid back and silly when they choose to. Being a shy person who networks a lot, I know that having a ‘back stage’ space is very important to keep up with energy. It makes me happy when I see people with the same mechanism — it is like identifying a fellow partner in crime.

What’s your #1 turn-off?
Being condescending and presumptuous, while demanding to be appreciated for being cultured and nice.

Megan Praz, Cartoonist

Website: leavemeinlalaland
Twitter: @meganpraz

What is your favorite kind of sandwich?
I love a good tofu banh mi with extra sriracha.

Describe the worst date you’ve ever been on.
I was newly out and on maybe my first date EVER with a girl. We were hanging out at a bar in Santa Monica when a guy approached us. We politely told him were weren’t interested in men (mistake) and naturally, he insisted we were lying. He then literally grabbed my face and tried to makeout with me. I pushed him away, but I was too young and naive at the time to really stand up for myself the way I would now. So yeah, on my first date with a girl, I made out with a dude. Ugh!

What’s your favorite sex toy?
Hey! That’s between me and my girlfriend and anyone who read this comic!

What’s your #1 turn-on?
Intelligence

What’s your #1 turn-off?
Ranch Dressing

Cecelia White, Riese’s Intern

Twitter: @zo0mbini
Instagram: z00mbini

If you could only use one emoji for the rest of your life, what would it be?
There’s this emoji that makes no sense, I think it’s a purple potato chopped in half. It’s definitely not an actual thing that exists in the world, so it’s kind of a create-your-own-adventure emoji. Actually, I think it resonates really honestly as a queer symbol. People will say: what is that? And you will say: “please give purple potato chopped in half emoji some space to figure themselves out, thanks.”

What is your favorite kind of sandwich?
Did you know that raspberry jam, Brie and basil taste very good on sourdough bread? I encourage you to bake the basil and toast the bread. Mmm.

Describe the worst date you’ve ever been on.
I knew it wasn’t going to work when this girl chose to hold my hand during a really dancey electronic concert. It’s like, if I’m getting my dance on, there are two sexy options here: either dance as hard as me and sprinkle on some intense queer stare for good measure, or grab my face and let’s make out.

What’s your favorite sex toy?
Story time! When I was just a precocious baby queer, the first person I ever slept with (hotter wiser queer) once came outta nowhere with a Hitachi Magic Wand, and my first reaction was to ask them why they use large kitchen appliances during sex. So, you know. Youth.

What’s your #1 turn-on?
If you are naturally hopeful and charismatic and thoughtful, we’ll get along. A moving and echoey laugh helps too.

What’s your #1 turn-off?
The Cooler Than Thou complex. I’m generally really enthusiastic and excitable, which kind of clashes with a lifestyle built on silently smoking and throwing smoldering looks at the horizon. (Even if it’s hot, Shane, sigh.)

“Okay the submissions form is LIVE and the uploaded files (like resumes and clips!) are clickable and basically everything just became my dream life, minus Kristen Stewart having a super unrequited crush on me and it almost ruining her life and then we go on a weekend trip together and she realizes that we’re better as friends who just happen to find each other deeply attractive.”
-Laneia, two weeks ago

Heather Hogan Gets Herself Into Trouble

graphic by Intern Cecilia

Heather: This lady at the charlotte airport last night who was completely undone about our emergency landing and also drunk and also racist got really aggressive with this ticketing agent who was black, and when I stepped in to intervene, the drunk lady punched me in the jaw. My adrenaline was crazy so it didn’t hurt too bad, but today it feels like my face got hit by a car!
It doesn’t seem so traumatic on TV.
Rachel: I am not criticizing but i cannot BELIEVE you are just mentioning this now
It has been like a full 24 hours since this happened
I’m so glad you’re ok!
Did you then just have to get back on a plane with her? Like in a tiny enclosed pressurized space in the sky?
Heather: TSA took her away, i’m not sure where she went.
Drunk airport jail, probably.
Rachel: That’s so crazy!
Heather: Stuff like that happens to me a lot. I have a weird kind of luck. But no one has ever just hauled off and punched me before.
Rachel: Does “weird kind of luck” mean “bad luck, the kind where racist strangers punch you”
Heather: No, like I have a radar for bad stuff happening and I impulsively jump into situations like that.
last year I fell through the ice on top of a lake saving a dog.
that was the scariest thing that’s ever happened to me.
one time in London I dropped my backpack rushing to save a woman who was having an asthma attack. and so someone stole my backpack, but then returned it because they felt guilty!
Weird luck
Rachel: Oh wow
I feel very stressed out just thinking about all this
Heather: So does my girlfriend
She made me take a class about how to help panhandlers without getting murdered
It was a good class
Thanks Mormon Church!
Rachel: Heather
HEATHER.
Heather: I may have started reading batman comics too early in life
Rachel: So that’s what they’re doing to our youth
motivating them to get murdered by panhandlers and punched by drunk racists
wait until the PTA finds out
Heather: and Batwoman adds a layer of lesbian evangelism!

Update: It turns out that this punch to the face not only gave Heather some serious bruising but also loosened one of Heather’s molars, which caused an infection and inspired her jaw to swell up chipmunk-style. she took a bunch of medicines and rested and only ate liquids for 10 days and pouted a little bit and now she is all better.

You people are weird

Some Nice Thoughts You Dropped Into Our Heads This Month

Straight out of the A+ Priority Contact Box into our hearts.

Just wanted to let you know there are videos of Canadian musicians (like T&S) singing variations of their songs with a puppet yam. It’s like a weird weird variation of Sesame Street.

I love the new way the layout for the articles look now, we can share on the major social media platforms! =) Also I think I just want to say that you guys are still awesome! And I love the site more and more everyday especially with A+ content!

Potential drinking game: take a shot every time someone obviously doesn’t understand that Autostraddle doesn’t have a pet unicorn that poops money.

I know you all have a ton of work to do, and a ton on your plate, so I thought you could use some calming manatees, since I don’t know how often people take the time to thank you for what you do. They’re basically like “Hang In There” cat posters only with manatees and they always make me feel better when I’m stressed. They’re from calmingmanatee.com and here are a few of my favorites: 22, 28, 27, 1.

Hi guys. I know things seem really tough for you all at the minute but I just want you to remember how much you mean to all of us. It will all fall into place, I know it.

“For christmas, what I want is for someone to photoshop a cover of what it would look like if Autostraddle were a print magazine, and the top story would be #EndofMen and the cover photo is Laneia smiling with a thumbs-up.”
-Carmen

#thankfulforautostraddle

Passionate A+ Member Georgina dipped into the endless well of kindness and genius that lives inside her heart this week to get people talking about why they’re thankful for Autostraddle, which made all of our eyes water! Check out the hashtag on instagram, facebook, tumblr and twitter and add your own if you want to! Like these weirdos:

Also #thankfulforautostraddle for making me feel ok about watching terrible tv shows solely for the lesbian content.

— Mary Bresnihan (@marybee19) November 21, 2014

Today I am #ThankfulForAutostraddle for intentionally making room for those whose voices need to be heard the mo… http://t.co/lCapmc9Nq9

— built like a can of spam (@alaraemonts) November 20, 2014

Some Answers To Some Things You’ve Been Asking Us

Do you have burning questions about what the fuck is going on around here, Doris? Ask us — just use the A+ priority contact form in your sidebar.

Q: Hey you know the gift a+ membership thing… will it be ready by xmas? cus I really want to give it to a few friends… :)
A: Yes! I’m working on this! Memberpress doesn’t have the functionality but I have AN IDEA and it’s gonna WORK!

Q: I have a bronze membership. Should I convince my gf to get a bronze membership too or should we split a silver membership? Which is better for AS?
A: It’s the same for us! I think the pros and cons are on your side — splitting silver means you’ll get access to everything, not just bronze things, but each getting a bronze means you won’t accidentally comment as each other while signed in to the other’s account! THE CHOICE IS YOURS.

Q: Does everyone need to google lesbians and queer and gay sex and then click on the Autostraddle pages? Would that help the google algorithm thingy? How can I help fix this travesty?!!
A: I’m not sure if it would help but I really like the idea of you googling “lesbian sex” and clicking on Autostraddle over and over again forever and ever!

Q: Also hope it’s okay to send you guys random shit in here. I mean, I’m not planning on ending you my every thought, but like is the occasional “good morning!” okay? I don’t want to muck this lovely thing up with silly hellos, I know you guys have important things to do and stuff.
A: YES WE LOVE IT

Q: Can A+ have a monthly birthday card of staff members roundup?
A: OH THAT COULD BE FUN! Here’s a cute one that happened recently:

Q: Are there going to be more “Interviews with My Ex”? I loved those! They were my second favorite thing about A+.
A: YES! I wonder what your first favorite thing was. Was it the thing about toeing.

Q: Where’d the ‘blog anything’ series go? I just had an archive post pop up in the sidebar and these are great!
A: We’re the worst, is what happened to that. WE’RE THE WORST. But actually the kind of stuff we wanted to do there will hopefully be the kind of stuff we can do here? We just clammed up. Everybody we’d ever known could’ve read our things!

Q: It’s quite probable that I’m the only queer on here that doesn’t know the answer to this question *but* I’m going to ask it anyway… How do people get on the wait list for A-Camp? It sounds like a whole other level of awesome! (:
A: It IS a whole other level of awesome! There is no wait-list yet because registration hasn’t opened! It’ll open in January, though, and then you can register, or if by the time you sign up, it’s already full, then you can just add yourself to the waitlist, it’s super-simple and will all be explained in the sign-up post!

Q: is this contact box anonymous or do you record who writes what?
A: I think that information is technically accessible but Yvonne just sends us the questions so I don’t have any record of who writes what, no.

Q: any unisex scents/colognes/perfumes that could be recommended to a newly out queer ready to embrace her tomboy femme-ness?!
A: We did a really great perfume/cologne post a while back, we should do another one soon!

 Slack Lets Us Make Our Own Emojis

Quite a few more where these came from

Flashback 2010: When Riese Saw Gabby’s Movie On The Internet and Asked Her To Make Things With Us

Riese e-mailed Gabby and told her all about Autostraddle and why Alex and I loved her movie and why we wanted her to write for us and then she wrote us back a long perfect email and this was the tail end of it:

We eventually set up a dinner date at Toast on Broadway by 125th street during Pride Week when a lot of Straddlers were in town staying at Riese’s apartment in Harlem, and Gabby had the extreme pleasure of dining with Riese, Laneia, Alex, Crystal AND Sarah Palmer that week! We invited her to our Pride Party and she came and brought her friends and everybody had a BLAST and the rest is herstory.

Already having a nice time

Yvonne Saved Every Day: November Edition

Welcome to Yvonne saves the day, a new feature in which we remember when Yvonne saved the day.

Riese: you guys because slack deletes our old messages unlike Skype I have no way to access all the times that Yvonne saved the day and I didn’t c/p any of them what do I do
Heather: We should do a graphic and it’s like “days Yvonne saved” and it is a one-year calendar and every day is marked as one of those days.
Riese: oh that’s cute
Yvonne: i don’t remember which days i saved so sorry i’m not a help and i like that graphic idea heather! lol

Thank You Intern Cecilia

Your Monthly Infographic About You

Idea: Jenny Schecter Christmas album. “Laaaast christmas, I gave you my heart, and also some sweetbreads”
-Stef, yesterday

November Retro-Reading

Some posts from previous Novembers Riese thinks you might enjoy.

via The Sweet Cruise Live-Blogged by Alex and Riese for Autostraddle

Dear Harry Potter, We Are Lesbians and We Love You, by Rachel K, Julia, Rachel B and Emily Choo (November 2010) – This was such a cute collection of personal stories on how much Harry Potter speaks to the hearts & souls of the Modern Queer.

How I Survived My First Thanksgiving As An Out Vegan Lesbian, by Carolyn Yates (November 2010) – The cutest thing about this article is that Carolyn is not a vegan anymore. But she still likes girls!

19 Notable Things About Living Alone, by Taylor Hatmaker (November 2011) – If it seems like I include a Taylor post in every single Insider, that’s because I include a Taylor post in every single insider. I just like her stuff so much! “No one ever knows where you are. Usually you are home.”

Butch Please: Butch Buys a Drink, by Kate (November 2012) – THIS IS WHERE IT ALL BEGAN.

How To Own It: The Queer Grrrl’s Guide To The Galaxy, by Gabrielle Korn (November 2012) – Because of some strange Pinterest dark magic, this was one of the most popular posts we’ve ever published! Everybody wants to make GALAXY PANTS don’t you? Gabrielle’s crafts were always super-cute, and we’re really proud that she’s recently made the leap from Refinery 29 to NYLON Magazine.

You Need Help: Being The Visible Femme, by Lizz Rubin (November 2011) –  In which Lizz confesses that “any time any woman smiles, glances, notices, leers or looks at me for more then 2.2 seconds I immediately assume she’s gay and start planning out our future together.”

Club Drizzy

In Slack you can set up desktop notifications for the application to inform you every time somebody mentions your name, for example. Or, you know, if somebody mentions Drake.

graphic by Intern Raquel

Carmen: I have a slack notification for Drake
So every time we mention him, his name is highlighted and I get a ding
#committed
Lydia: OMFG I need this notification
Hannah: Whatever, I’m making a #kendrick notification
Carmen: We can have a #drizzy channel except not really but in our hearts, y’know?
Gabby: um I share a Drake love song w my boo irl
So…
Ay
Carmen: Gabby, welcome to the #drizzy channel
Lydiao: Also, I realized the other day that despite my wishy-washy #crewlove at the time… I bought the Thank Me Later CD
#drizzy
Rachel: I’m gonna start fucking with the Drake club
Hey has anyone seen my pet drake?
Oh sorry, typo!
Gabby: Is that a pick up line? Hey girl, have you seen my pet drake?
Lydia: Lolololol
Carmen: drake’s cakes are also amazing, like the company, drake’s
Rachel: I just think everyone deserves a fair drake, you know?
Have you heard Taylor Swift’s new single, “drake it off”
Carmen: Just drake a look around you, Rachel
YOU’RE GONNA DRAKE ME CRAZY GIRL
Gabby:  Dale con Drake it easy
Rachel:  Guys, come on, let’s just kiss and drake up
Lydia: I can’t Drake anymore of this
Rachel: For goodness Drake, Lydia, it’s not that big a deal
Gabby: I gotta Drake it off cuz the loving ain’t the same and you keep on playing games
Carmen: Drake, Drake, Drake, Drake, Drake it off
I love that song Gabby
Gabby:  Jesus Drake the wheel?
Rachel: That wasn’t what I was hoping for but i’ll Drake it
Gabby: Drake what ya momma gave ya!

SPECIAL MERCH SNEAK PEEK

These will be in the store next week and we hope you take a picture of yourself scissoring in this sweatshirt and put it on instagram with a specific hashtag

Five Posts Rachel Can’t Believe You Motherf*ckers Didn’t Read Last Month

1. GLSEN Report Shows It’s Finally Getting Better in Schools for LGBT Youth, by Audrey
This is a really huge deal y’all — I remember a few years ago when the near-constant influx of queer teen suicides was part of Riese and my “beats,” and it felt like schools were the most dangerous place on earth for LGBT kids and like that was never going to change. While schools are still FAR from ideal for a lot of LGBT youth, and there are a lot of problems that remain, it’s so major that there’s been any marked improvement, and we should all read about it.

2. Media Refuses to Grant Trans Women Dignity, Even Murder Victims, by Mari
Especially with Trans Day of Remembrance and Trans Awareness Week upon us, it’s important to be aware of how often and how profoundly the media fucks up when it comes to talking about trans women so that it can be called out and corrected. Learn about why and how this is totally fucked thanks to Mari!

3. Why the Anti-Street Harassment Movement Needs to Involve More Women of Color, by Hannah
If you’ve read anything about that one Hollaback video, then you need to read this. If you haven’t read anything about that Hollaback video, then you definitely need to read this. We talk a lot about intersectionality as a general concept, but this is a really thorough and incisive exploration of what it looks like in practice — and what it looks like when intersectionality isn’t practiced. Read it! Learn yourself!

4. Know Your Rights When It Comes to Street Harassment (It Won’t Make It Disappear Though), by Carmen Rios
This has been a big month for street harassment, huh. It’s been an emotionally draining month, too, in the news and in the world, and it might do your heart&soul good to learn about what your actual options are. Legislation is only a fraction of the iceberg that is street harassment and rape culture, but in some respects it can be an empowering one. Get in there and read about it!

5. Pornotopia Fights the Good Fight for Diversity and Sex Positivity in Porn, by Tina Vasquez
Do you weirdos have any idea what this article even is? No, you don’t, or you all would have read it and then rolled around in it like a puppy dog on a freshly laundered comforter. I think you maybe thought this was just a profile of Pornotopia as an event, which is partially is. But there’s so much more! This also contains interview material from lots of people working to create and share queer porn, and really fascinating information about how legal concepts of “obscenity” relate to queer sex — like why it’s so hard to get porn featuring fisting produced or distributed, for instance. This is really beautifully researched, reported and written by the great and powerful Tina Vasquez, and it’s important to read if you’re interested in anything regarding how straight culture’s ideas about queer people are played out in the arena of sex&porn and the radical potential of queer sex to make the world better for everyone. What are you doing still here, please click through and get your reading pants on.

Heather’s Book & Beer Recommendation of the Month

We’ve reached the time of year where it’s not exactly autumn but not exactly winter, which means no one knows how many layers to wear when they exit the house in the morning, and also we’re caught in that weird season where pumpkin ale is gone but no one has rolled out the Mad Elf yet. But, y’all, I have an in-between seasons beer that’s going to make you sing — Sierra Nevada’s Celebration, which is a winter seasonal IPA that may be the best beer Sierra Nevada has produced this year. Celebration has been around since the ’80s, but unlike mass produced garbage beers that have begun to taste more and more like alcoholic water in the last 34 years, Celebration is getting fuller and richer every season. This dry-hopped beauty clocks in at 6.8% ABV and is a perfect balance of malt, fruit and bitterness. It is cherries and pine, it is orange and lemon and raisins and spice. It’ll give you a reason to the Thankful while you wait for Delirium’s Noël Belgian Strong Ale to land at your favorite craft brewpub.

If you really want a cold weather treat, open up a Celebration and settle in with Patrick Rothfuss’s new novella, The Slow Regard of Silent Things. You know Rothfuss as the author behind two of the most epic fantasy books of all time, The Name of the Wind and A Wise Man’s Fear. In The Slow Regard of Silent Things, Rothfuss comes at us from the perspective of a female character for the first time. And not just any female character, but Auri herself, the fae-like young woman who lives in the Underthing below the University. It is the most touching thing I have read all year. It is a story of brokenness and beauty and — actually, it’s not really a story at all. It is a meditation. (You should read the the first two books in the Kingkiller Chronicles before you read this one, though.)

The Butt Of Our Generation

There’s this quiz going around on the topic of “What Kind of Lesbian Are You?” and one of the questions, much to our surprise, featured Autostraddle boxer-briefs!

Riese: That’s my butt
My butt is on a lesbian quiz
Does this mean I’ve made it
Rachel: i think so
congrats riese you can retire now
Riese: I guess it means my butt has made it at least
Do you think I still have to do squats today
Rachel: you can do fewer squats, for sure
Gabby: riese your butt is the butt of our generation
Riese: I will accept that honor. I’d always hoped to be a voice of our generation
but the butt is probably more rewarding
ultimately

Carolyn’s Sex Toy Recommendation Of The Month: The Bootie, Reviewed As If It Were Snooty Wine

This light-bodied crowd-pleaser has an attractive balance and just a hint of zest. With gentle curves and robust flange, the Bootie’s nose warms the autumn soul in a way that more symmetrical plugs can only dream of and builds to a complex, satisfying finish. It is perfumed like odourless medical-grade silicone – which is no surprise. Its velvety texture pairs well with all manner of water-based lube. Delicately balanced between firm and flexible, it is accessible for the novice anal enthusiast and yet an instant classic. The Bootie should be a regular on your night table for years to come.

Interviews With People You Wish Were Your Ex-Girlfriend

Stef goes on a not-date

Brittani: “Interview with girls I should have dated but did not due to circumstances beyond my control”
Carmen: That’s a column I could participate in
Mari: Oh god, I think I could produce a year-long series in that topic.
Stef: Oh my god really though
Riese: “Interview with my Not-Ex-Girlfriend”
Stef: I had one say she would pretend she had once been my girlfriend so I could have a post and make some money but I said no because of journalistic integrity
Not always the worst
At least not today
At this very moment
But if Never-Girlfriends are allowed, damn
Carmen: One question can be, “so what did you tell yourself when we stopped talking abruptly and I never offered an explanation”
“Did you ever realize we never dated because you wouldn’t eat pizza with me on our first date”
“Interview with the girl who was annoyed with my personal message style on OK Cupid and wrote about it in her profile.”
Rachel: “On the average day, how paralyzed are you with misery that you didn’t get to date me”
Carmen: “Interviews with the girls who weren’t interested enough in our pets”
I once stopped talking to someone without warning because she asked me “why my dog is always around”
like bish idk but guess who’s not around anymore YOU, IN MY LIFE
Rachel: Also, “Interviews with the parents of girls you dated who didn’t realize you were dating”
Riese: “Do you realize how many sleepovers you let us have?”
Rachel: “What did you think all those noises from the bedroom were?”
“Did you think we locked the door because we were smoking weed? I think that’s what you thought.”
Riese: “On a scale of 1-10, how cute did you think it was when we went to homecoming together at the time, and how cute would you say it was in retrospect?”
“Did you at any point say ‘no they can’t be lesbians, they have long hair'”
Mari: Could we do one of trans girls and the supposedly-straight girls who dated us before transition? :P
“When you said you really liked me bc I was unlike anyone you had ever dated, did you ever think it might be because you were subconsciously indulging latent homo urges?”
Stef: I had a former OK Cupid date gone bad buy me margaritas and take me to a horror movie last night and it was literally the best date we never had

XOXO

Team Autostraddle

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