Hello lesbos and lesbo allies! Welcome to the 2010 Autostraddle Dinah Shore Weekend LIVEBLOG, taking place in Palm Springs from April 1st to April 5th.
Check back here often, as we’ll be constantly updating this page with plenty of pictures, reportage, tweets, and general nonsense from the Auto-Team here in Palm Springs: Riese, Alex, Brooke, Nat Garcia, Laneia, Sarah, Jess, Tess, Taylor and Kelsey.
We did this last year, but it was only Alex by her lonesome self creaming her pants over lesbians and Lady Gaga.
In case you missed our Official “Everything You Ever Wanted to Know About Dinah Shore” Guide, here is the map of Palm Springs that sum up the weekend events:
Club Skirts events shown in magenta.
GirlBar events shown in light blue.
Enough chit chat. LEZ GET REAL.
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Friday April 2, 2010
1:37 AM — Riese: There’s Web 2.0… this is Web 2.tess.
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1:32 AM — Also did I tell you how much I love Taylor? B/c it’s a lot:
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1:17 AM — It turns out writing a daily fix while liveblogging is hard! Did you guys read the daily fix Riese wrote for today? Wasn’t it really funny? I thought it was really funny, seriously.
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1:01 AM — Sarah: We are at dinner b/c Alex gets cranky without tacos. It’s me and Laneia and Riese and Jess and Tess and Grace and alcohol!
I just realized that in California it’s 10 pm and not 1 am so eating tacos is a pretty normal and cool thing to do! #waytogoguys #tacos
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12:57 AM — BREAKING TAYLOR UPDATE: Okay, I am in the bed and that’s because I have not slept since approximately 7 am on March 30. Kelsey & I flew through Houston to some place that wasn’t LA today. And we slept in weird piles on the plane or tried to. We were real smelly and weird when we got in at like 2pm. But we started drinking and sat toward the sun and that was cool. No one noticed that we were smelly which was a plus, socially speaking. So were really freakishly pale by the pool but happily everyone and their dyke mom wasn’t here yet, so we drank 100 mojitos. Then I think Nicole Pacent told me that world of Warcraft was really cool but that may have been a mirage. Also she has a star wars ringtone, FYI.
My main goals are to a) drink in the sun and b) be in the sun drinking. So I am gonna sleep now, fuck all y’all haters. Also nighttime lesbo parties freak me out because god knows there ain’t no accountability when the sun goes down. (Rachel’s note: This is true.) Happily Tess left AN ENTIRE FOAM COOLER OF BEER IN MY ROOM SO IM GONNA DRINK MYSELF INTO A NICE STUPOR AND CRASH. J/k the stupor is just fine and I’m full up on coors.
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12:50 AM — Taylor has promised to “get soberer” and “find a laptop.” Since I am pretty sure they are by now up in the club sippin’ that bub (that’s what you do in Dinah right?) I imagine this will look like:
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12:43 AM — Alex: This happened – it’s cute, right?
um, YES!
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12:01 AM — Oh look we made it to Friday! Actually I haven’t heard from anyone in like an hour so maybe they didn’t make it for all I know. Oh wait no! This just happened! #desertstraddle2010 #adorable
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Thursday April 1st, 2010
11:35 PM — Laneia and Sarah might actually be in the desert forever. To be honest, there are worse things. They packed a shark, and I am 110% sure they packed beer.
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11:22 PM – Alex: Yeah so I realized just now that we will have to rally and put together our lanyards and card holders that we’re giving away at our booth tomorrow — ALL 500 OF EM. I’m an idiot and forgot to do this in advance. Also half of us are drunk already.
Also, I just realized I’m in Alex’s phone as “Liveblog Rachel” and I think that’s adorable.
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11:17 PM — New rule, I’m just going to keep making graphics until someone tells me what the fuck is happening. I’m pretty sure this is what’s going on in the deserts of California, correct me if I’m wrong:
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10:45 PM — I just realized Dinah is smack in the middle of Passover. I wonder how that’s going? Actually I don’t know that anyone going for AS is Jewish, except maybe half of Riese, mabes it is not that big a deal. Also though there are a bunch of Jewish people in California, like 40% of the Jewish people I know are from there, they’re probably knee-deep in matzoh at Girlbar right now. I GOT THE MANISCHEWITZ GURRRRRRRRL I KNOW YOU THIRSTY
Unrelated, I just found out that if you google “lesbian jews” with safe search off you get a bunch of porn. Just lettin’ you know.
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10:25 PM — TAYLOR SPEAKS: Hey! Wha?
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10:21 PM — Ok, lacking actual information from the field, I weakened and went and checked the Dinah guide after all. It turns out there is a motherf*cking ton of stuff happening right now actually, like an “opening bash” at someplace called “Zeldaz,” a “kickoff opening dance,” and LOLz. Seriously, that’s what the program says. Erin Foley and Nicol Paone are there! We love them, they will bring the LOLz for sure.
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10:00 PM — Laneia is by far the best to liveblog. Where the fuck is everyone else? I bet they’re all doing this:
That’s a thing at Dinah, right? Lesbian mud wrestling? They’re wearing tank tops, I bet one of them is Dorothy Snarker.
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9:57 PM — Laneia: Taylor Kelsey and Tess are having fun without us! It smelled like orange blossoms when we crossed the state line.
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9:50 PM — Laneia: THERE ARE NO SPEED LIMIT SIGNS IN CALIFORNIA
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9:49 PM — Laneia: It’s cold! Wearing a sweater w the heat on BUT THE TOP IS STILL DOWN.
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9:47 PM — I have no idea where anyone is or what they’re doing, except that Haviland is probably still puking. Sorry, Haviland! I bet she still looks pretty. I guess I could go look at our own guide to Dinah that was made especially for occasions like this, but somehow that feels silly.
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8:39 PM — Laneia: This is where we used to be. Leaving las Vegas was playing, too! Even tho we weren’t leaving Vegas, I think you’ll agree that was pretty special.
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8:21 PM — Sarah: We just put on the ovarian sing-along playlist.
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8:19 PM — Sarah: It just took me 15 minutes to pump gas cause this car is weird! There is an American flag the size of a trailer at this rest stop.
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8:14 PM — Riese We are in the car stuck in traffic motherfuckers. Haviland is barfing soup and she was our ride so that was neat, also I’m sad cuz I wanted her to come. Brooke is there, taylor and kelsey just got in, I keep eating so I hope no one else was serious about dieting for dinah shore. We didn’t have time to get me any white pants. We just found a classic rock station, I like it
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7:13 PM — No word from Taylor&Kelsey. I have no idea if they have found anyone else. I wish I could coordinate this from above somehow, like there could be a news channel that was just LesbianWatch at 11 and a helicopter could fly above Dinah so we could figure this shit out. “Taylor! Move two blocks north and then look behind the girl with the keyhole bikini bottom! There’s Brooke!”
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6:36 PM — All is clear now! Laneia: We’re leaving phx on the 10 listening to Don Henley and Whitesnake! Had to deflate one of the shark fins so Sarah could see in the rear view!
Is #desertstraddle2010 trending yet? If not, it’s because you’re not trying hard enough.
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6:30 PM — Brooke: I clearly need more passes.
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5:36 PM — Sarah may or may not be being eaten by sharks
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4:31 PM – Taylor just asked me to give her the rest of the team’s phone numbers because she and Kelsey are arriving in Palm Springs and can’t find anyone. We are like a well-oiled machine. Or well-oiled oil-wrestling lesbians. Either one.
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4:05 PM — Brooke has something important to share with us all, namely this hot hot hot ad in the Club Skirts program:
GET IT? THAT’S US THAT’S OUR AD.
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3:41 PM — Brooke had the presence of mind to take “before” pictures, because probs Palm Springs will never look this pristine again after 10,000 lesbians sweat and vomit on it. Here’s the pool at the Renaissance Hotel slash Girlbar, and Club Skirts at the Hilton:
Predicted After photo:
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2:00 PM — In solidarity with Dinahgoers everywhere, I wore shorts today b/c it’s like 65 in Boston. By the end of the day I may be pantsless and drinking margaritas. Also in solidarity, obvs.
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1:30 PM — Autostraddlers are in motion! Laneia and Sarah are in the desert, ridin’ dirty and probs tripping balls like in Fear and Loathing, and I think Taylor and Kelsey are on a plane. Or just got off a plane! Check it out! Maybe we can make #desertstraddle a trending topic by the time #desertstraddle2010 is over.
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12:30 PM — Oh hey guys, today is the day! It’s all happening now! Are you excited? I’m excited. We are on the verge of Palm Springs Lesbian Spring Breakstraddle 2010, and everyone is converging on Palm Springs from all over the globe except Brooke who is already there. Look, here is a graphic mapping everyone’s approximate current location! Sarah and Laneia are in the desert, and Jess, Tess, Robin, Carly and Nat are AWOL, aka I do not know where they are. I just realized it’s wrong b/c Palm Springs is not in FL, but I’m not changing it now.
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3:58AM — Riese: It’s almost 4 AM. I think I am halfway done with everything I needed to do which means I’m doing slightly better than anticipated. In other news, Haviland has been vomiting for the last 24 hours, and she’s our ride to Dinah Shore. And also my best friend so I am overall concerned for her well-being.
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2:00 AM — Taylor: My main feeling right now is WTF KELSEY AND I HAVE TO STAY UP TIL 530 am to catch our flight from NYC.
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12:00 AM — DINAH DINAH DINAH it’s happening now! Are you ready? We’re not ready. On a scale of 1 to 10, where 1 is “why are we doing this” and 10 is “I’m not packed yet,” I’d say most of us are at a 6. 6 is “why won’t they let me bring my vodka tonic on the plane.” I personally am at a 4, which is “on my couch, at home, not going to Dinah, and also I don’t have a drink.” Wheeee!
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