feature image by Axelle/Bauer-Griffin/FilmMagic
Monday again! Well, as I write this it’s actually Sunday night and I’m snacking on a ridiculous grilled cheese made with Swiss and coupled with a rosé because that’s what was in my fridge, and listening to this terribly good playlist that Laura Wooley compiled for us a couple of years ago. She asked every Autostraddle team member to submit the song they felt was the most beautiful song in the world. Listening to it is a lot like walking off an elevator into the secret middle of the person who submitted the song. Why did they find this the most beautiful? What can you learn about a person based on their choice? Lots of us gave explanations about our songs, but a handful of us didn’t. I didn’t. I didn’t have the words and I still don’t. My song sounds kind of sad on the surface? But then again it feels like just being yourself, too. Like Sunday nights. It feels like Sunday night to me. Like you don’t have to talk to anyone on Sunday nights, but that doesn’t mean you’re not thinking about them.
One Sunday night I sat on the back porch with my grandmother and watched a red fox eat the scraps she’d tossed under an oak tree. She said, “Looka there.” And I did, and then we didn’t make another sound until that fox filled itself up and left. She let her cigarette ashes fall in her cupped hand instead of turning around to the ashtray. I wanted to burn it into my soft wooden brain because I hadn’t seen a fox before, and I haven’t seen one since.
Anyway though, Sundays! I hope you had a good one.
Queer as in F*ck You
+ Study Finds That LGBTQ Bullying Has Terrible Longterm Mental Health Consequences! Who knew.
+ SoJourner McCauley, a Bronx Lesbian Activist, Looks Back — And Forward.
+ Alaina Leary resiliently shares her story here: Why I Changed My Name After I Was Raped.
+ Carmen shared this yesterday but I’m still not over it.
+ A quick heads up that Evan Rachel Wood Smells Like the Earth, in case you didn’t already want to [consensually!] bury your face in her neck.
+ The headline reads St. Vincent Made a Sexy, Funky Rolling Stones Cover for Tilda Swinton’s New Movie, As If We Weren’t Already Swooning, and that really truly sums it all up. Here’s the video!
Doll Parts
+ Hasbro’s New Star Wars Toys Feature Some Amazing Women.
+ Katie Klabusich is here to explain What Justice Scalia’s Death Means for Your Reproductive Rights.
+ Why I Was Shocked to Enjoy the Deadpool Movie by Rebecca Watson.
+ Maybe you can relate to this piece by Dawn Claflin: I Hate Babies. Just read it, I promise it’s good.
+ Hey! Queer Mama Haley Jude has gifted you with the second interview in her video series for Mutha Magazine, Real Muthas, and you’re gonna love it a bunch! Skedaddle over there and soak up some of the beautiful real truth of mama-ing.
Saw This, Thought of You
+ First things first: The Day Beyoncé Turned Black.
+ What Made Scalia and Ginsburg’s Friendship Work.
+ Simran Sethi: “We’re Losing Biodiversity in Foods”.
+ This is the reason I turned to Laura’s playlist this weekend. It’s from 2014 but I still loved it and maybe you will too. In Search of the Perfect Love Song.
+ WHY IS VOICEMAIL STILL A THING. Attn: Riese Bernard.
And Finally
You want to make this DIY Memory Game! Just think of the possibilities! I can’t even keep typing there are just too many amazing—
what a perfect way to start a snow day! (I am so glad you had that fox encounter, Laneia!)
snow day!!
That was an awesome fox encounter
My german friend spent a year living in Seattle a few years ago, and came back like ‘Guys. Americans actually use voicemail! Like regularly, and not only from businesses.’
As a Brit I have only had approx three voicemails in the last ten years, either from potential employers or doctors surgeries. Presumably because it would be considered unprofessional to send a text.
My doctors surgery texts now too and it’s pretty much the best
Your Doctor’s Surgery is a person?
The surgery isn’t a person, but the receptionist representing the surgery is.
i love getting the appointment confirmation/reminder texts from doctors and salons.
So do I … except when they get sent out by an automated system at midnight, 1:00, 2:00 or 3:00. Then I grumble a little.
I feel like voicemails are still useful if you don’t know the person you’re calling. Like if I’ve got an unknown caller I might not bother to pick up because I’m in the middle of something, and I’m not gonna call them back asking “who is this and why did you try to contact me?” So they need to leave a message to say who they are.
But if it’s someone in my contact’s list I never ever listen to their message, I’d much rather call them back as soon as I see the missed call.
your feelings are my feelings.
hey what an intro laneia!
I love the fox story. It is burned into my soft wooden brain now too.
Soft wooden zBrain is such a beautiful Image
I love that you just casually dropped such a perfect story in the introduction. Also, Sunday nights – yes. From childhood days of family nights watching Wild Kingdom and the Disney Sunday Movie, to my current adult hibernating and cooking version – Sunday nights are the best.
Wow, I thought I was the only one who remembered Wild Kingdom + Disney fondly. At my house, Sunday night also meant popcorn.
Yes – definitely popcorn night – and, nachos! I must admit that I eat nachos way too often as an adult, but it was a big deal then!
yes the disney sunday night movie! honestly if there’s anything i love more than watching a movie at home, it’s having it stretched out over three hours with commercial breaks so you can go get more snacks or go to the restroom. or now that i’m a responsible adult, put away some laundry.
Yep, as much as I love the ability to zip through ads on the dvr – the dvr pause is just not the same as the commercial break.
That’s why watching HBO without dvr or on demand is terrible. Who wants to watch a movie or even a TV show in their own homes and be forced to sit through the entire thing with no breaks?!
YES !
Voicemails and paper receipts both need to die an immediate death. My father used to be the only person to leave me voicemails, but last year he finally got a iPhone, thank god. Also, the voicemail-to-text feature of my phone is the best, I haven’t called my voicemail in probably 2 years. And I don’t have a landline at home, so literally the only time I use voiecmail is at the office.
NO MORE VOICEMAIL NO MORE VOICEMAIL
My voice mail isn’t set up because I hate phone calls.
Getting a phone call is like having someone barge unto your room unannounced and uninvited. An INVASION OF PRIVACY.
Getting a voice-mail is like if you locked the bedroom door, and the person who would have barged in just Stood There Until You Opened It while, like, mouth breathing.
Phones are stressful, pls send texts and trust I will respond in 3-5 business days
So, Scalia. Been waiting for it to come up on this site! Is it somewhere I missed?
He died on Sat, it will probably come up in today or tomorrow’s News Fix/Daily Fix type article
Sure, Evan Rachel Wood’s neck. That’s exactly where I want to bury my face. Her neck. Ahem.
like EARTH blackmar. she smells like the EARTH. i just cannot.
It’s kind of cool to carry a hint of my bedroom scent throughout the day, and then if anyone follows me into my bedroom later, they then get hit with the full scent.
:has died:
Adding getting hit with Evan Rachel Wood’s full bedroom scent to my bucket list.
Also, you’re right. Evan Rachel Wood smelling like the Earth is the type of amazing information that I never thought I would know, but now wonder how I lived without.
Also, I love when you open these articles with long introductions. Your brain is a gift to us all, Laneia.
Oh, and I saw Deadpool on Friday afternoon and while I mostly enjoyed it, I had a few issues with it and it actually concerns two things that that article praised. So, minor spoiler warning, I guess, if you haven’t seen it yet. First, that sex-positive montage was mostly great, but the strap-on scene could have been so much better. Deadpool is getting pegged by his girlfriend and you can see discomfort on his face until finally he says, “Nope, nope.” And the audience laughs because they’re all dumb, uptight homophobes. Deadpool is supposedly a canonically pansexual character in the comics (although unfortunately I think it’s mostly played for laughs there, too). That scene would have been so much better and more progressive if he had started with some mild discomfort and then instead of a “nope”, we got a surprised, “Oh,” as Wade learns he likes anal sex.
Secondly, Gina Carano’s character is also praised in the article for being big and fierce. It’s true, she is, and I love that about her. But both Deadpool and his girlfriend, the main characters, the ones we are supposed to care about, make jokes about how she probably has a dick. NOT COOL.
So, yep, it was much better than it could have been in the hands of people who didn’t give a shit about the character, but it also wasn’t as good or progressive as it could have been.
I don’t know if anyone here is even interested in the Deadpool movie, but I haven’t really had anyone to talk to about what was bugging me about the movie yet, and then along comes Laneia, bless her soul, giving me the perfect opportunity.
Back in London, one winter’s night, I was on my way from the nearest bus stop to the house that was home then. The streets where covered in snow, I was cold from the wind and all warm from some cider. As I crossed the street towards our house, a red fox crossed in the opposite direction, some meters away. We looked at each other for some seconds, then the fox turned and disappeared around a corner. I hadn’t seen one before either. One lucky moment.
Totally agree with the voicemail article, also thank you for that link because now I’ve gone down a rabbit hole reading about all the things that shouldn’t really be things anymore!
I don’t mind voicemail. I actually call and leave messages for myself at my work voicemail reminding me to do things