Alex’s Team Pick: The Science of Sexy Dance Moves

It’s a good thing someone did the official research somewhere in the UK on good/attractive dancing. I was really excited about this, being the lover of the dance that I am: ‘omg, this might tell me the secret of The Dance! Finally scientifically proven!‘ I thought (and you might think to yourself). Mistake.

How I am not employed in this world where real educated/smarty scientists literally do research and tests to conclude things we already know about life…

“We thought that people’s arms and legs would be really important. The kind of expressive gestures the hands [make], for example. But in fact this was not the case,” he said.

And that’s when I felt like I was reading an article from The Onion.

Also sidenote: it’s annoying that the experiment was so gendered. I don’t know, wouldn’t the same rules apply for women too? Whether they’re trying to attract the opposite gender or not. It’s not like men who are trying to attract men actually DO find janky arm and leg movements attractive. Come on.

But I didn’t make this my Team Pick just to have a mini-rant about it… click through to watch the video of the avatar’s “good dancing” skills. I LOLed so hard and will work on learning that choreography stat. I AM NOT KIDDING YOU GUYS.

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Alex

Cofounder and Design Director of Autostraddle. Professional web/graphic designer. Whiskey enthusiast. Drumming hobbyist. A past speaker at the 2010 BlogHer Conference ("Good Blog Design: The Role of Layout in an Online Medium"), 2013 Salon LGBTQ Conference ("Innovative Best Practices for Brand-Blogger Campaigns") and featured in the Los Angeles Edition of Refinery29's 30 Under 30 in 2013. Co-owns and manages Tully's Training, a dog training company in Los Angeles. Twitter: @a_ex Instagram: alexxxvegaaa

Alex has written 100 articles for us.

12 Comments

  1. bwahahaha. I started laughing as soon as it started playing. I need to come back to this after I’ve settled down a bit.

  2. I dance like a moron, but my moves fall within the parameters of the “good” dancing that they describe (I think that it looks like I’m still doing the moves that I learned in junior high gym class step aerobics).
    However, the dork dancing gets me an awful lot of friendly attention. I always thought that people like the dorkrobics because it looks like I’m having fun, that I’m unselfconscious, but now I see that there is an insidious, as-yet mysteriously inexplicable science to its charm.

  3. “A head nod-er or a head banger is in fact a bad dancer.”

    I’m so fucked. I mean, but… not in the way I want to be.

    I have a cousin that still does the robot. Badly. She’s very popular. It makes NO SENSE!

  4. i dont dance. thats all there is to it. i know im bad, and so i dont. the end. its terrible. i feel like elaine on seinfield, except maybe not that bad, but still, pretty damn bad.

    • I don’t dance either, I won’t dance in public or anywhere where someone might see me. It’s really indescribably bad. I did a brilliant job avoiding dancing at a wedding last weekend, even with several glasses of wine you couldn’t get me near the dance floor.

  5. so we can expect a how-to article/video soon? cause i obviously need to know how to dance exactly like that avatar. i mean, they’re scientists, so they’re smart and stuff. right?

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