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You can’t choose where you spawn on this planet, and you can’t always necessarily choose where you wind up living. Borders aside, finances, family, job prospects and numerous other factors affect the places we are able to live, let alone the places we might choose to live. Still, that doesn’t mean there aren’t at least two sides to any place, that if there are things to hate, there are things to love. It doesn’t mean that if we choose to live in a place, that if we arrive in our dream city, that we absolutely have to love and stand by everything about the place or the choices of other people with whom we disagree. Shit’s complicated! Place is complex! Community is multi-faceted and ever-changing and requires work to build and thoughtful engagement, and so, I invited our team to share what they love and hate about where they live. If you want, I hope you’ll share the same about the places where you’re living. We’d love to hear from you all in the comments!
xoxo,
Nico
What a delightful surprise to read Casey’s Vancouver Island content!!
Oh yay I’m so glad to hear that!
My husband is from Nanaimo and we live in Victoria and it’s so exciting to see our region mentioned on Autostraddle! You make a very good point about housing prices… 😭
Casey made me really want to visit!
casey, honestly, Nanaimo sounds kind of amazing! I’ve always been a country mouse, and the ocean is very important to me, but affordable living near the coast is just…not a thing here.
It is! I’m so happy my partner and I made the leap to move here. I am very grateful to live by the ocean, I know what you mean! You are welcome to visit anytime!!
This was so fun & insightful to read! I live in Baltimore MD, and I feel like I am still discovering the things I like about it, because even though I have lived around here for most of my life, it’s only since the summer that I’ve lived in the city proper instead of in the suburbs. And it turns out that makes a huge (positive) difference! I’m able to do so much more and get to things way more easily, and it’s been delightful to be able to experience the many cool events, restaurants, etc. that the city has to offer now that I am in walking distance from some of them (I’m still in shock lol). When I was younger, I never wanted to stay in Baltimore, so I had plenty of things I disliked about it – and some of those things are still true – but it’s nice to be discovering lots of things to like about it as well. While part of me would still like to live somewhere else, or somewhere more “exciting” at some point, I’m coming to terms with the fact that Bmore may end up being the best option for me long-term, and every day I’m more okay with that :)
<3 I've enjoyed Baltimore when I've visited! Thank you for sharing.
lol at not a single person living in the south!
and by “lol” I mean “god it’s depressing I still live somewhere that’s considered a haven for right wing prejudice and hatred, how will I ever deal with having all my family and so much history in a place so hostile to most of my political commitments”
really appreciated Heather’s brief comments on this!! and will be thinking of her when I make real
biscuits this weekend 🤗
I’m disappointed I missed the deadline for this roundtable because I would’ve loved bringing some Southern representation to it, @lilapeach.
The things I love about living in North Carolina:
– I live equidistance (roughly) to the beaches and the mountains.
– Sweet tea. Also? The expectation that if you ask for tea in a restaurant, it’ll be sweet because, of course, it should be.
– The food and its food traditions (most of which tell the story of black people in this country).
– One specific food: barbecue. Eastern NC, vinegar-style BBQ only.
– March on Tobacco Road is as unifying a positive experience as I’ve ever felt in my entire life. Even despite the rivalries, there’s something beautiful about an entire city, county and state being consumed about the same thing at the same time. The energy is electric.
Things I hate about living in North Carolina:
– It feels like we’re constantly teetering on the edge of calamity. Everyone remembers the HB2 backlash, of course, but also…Roy Cooper, our beloved Democratic governor, wanted to run for US Senate — and would’ve likely won in a cake walk — but couldn’t because he’d leave the governor’s chair to our absolutely raving lunatic of a Lt. Governor.
– Gentrification, particularly in Raleigh and Durham (yes, it’s Raleigh and Durham, not Raleigh-Durham.)
– The divisions are getting more stark…and it’s hearkening back to a scary time in the state’s history.
<3 We do have some folks living in the south, but they just didn't answer the roundtable prompt (participation is optional). Shout out to Natalie for sharing in the comments!!
Aw I really love hearing about all these different perspectives! I’m facing a probable move next year after ~4 years in my current city and it’s making me pre-nostalgic for everything, even though I’ve complained about a lot of things too lol. It’s nice to know that a lot of us hold complicated feelings about the places we live.
<3 I know! Contemplating a move is a very like, conflicting experience.
I’m loving the Chicago love! I moved to Chicago recently and have never felt so much at home in a place (though of course, the inequality is enraging — but that’s what activism is for).
I loved reading all of this. I also LOVE Chicago, I visited once during a Midwest roadtrip and almost stayed right then and there lol. I live in a big town in former East Germany, and there is a lot to love about it: the large underground/alternative queer scene, the low cost of living, feeling like I am really a regular at the places I frequent. But it’s hard being so far away from the sea!!! The climate doesn’t make any sense to me! It’s SO HOT in the summer and SO COLD in the winter!
This was so fun to read!
Also, Casey I’d only ever heard of Nanaimo because in the movie A Mighty Wind, Catherine O’Hara says something about wanting to be at home “in bed with a tray of Nanaimo bars” 😂 and I had to Google it. They look delicious!
Serious question for Shelli Nicole, Ro, and any other chicago folks: do you have dogs? How do you walk and exercise dogs in chicago winters?
“I tend to drive at about the speed limit, for example, and use my turn signal when I want to signal that I am going to turn.”
ABENI I laughed out loud. I’m the same! It’s so true, it feels safe(r) to drive here. I also recently started driving to a Park n’ Ride and taking the train the rest of my commute, and I love that too.
I love this thread, it’s fascinating!
I live in a small town in mid-Norway and I love that the mountains (or at least a path into them) and the sea are both walking distance from my house. I love the aurorae and seeing the stars. I love this time of year where people put out tiny white lights and candles everywhere, and knowing the reindeer will arrive soon in the field out back. I love the summer too, when although the sun does set, it doesn’t get properly dark either, and the sky goes a mad electric blue for a few hours. I love how although this town is so small it still has a Pride march, and how uncontroversial that is here. I love the folk music scene and the volunteer groups of older ladies who teach traditional handworking skills to anyone who turns up.
But I hate how far away it is from my oldest, closest friends. I hate how to get almost anywhere else I have to get on a plane or else spend a day or more on a train. And I hate how racism against Samí people can come snarling up out of a conversation when I least expect it and how difficult it has been as a foreigner to learn about Samí history and culture.
I live in Toronto, and I was also born here, so I probably have a bit of a different perspective from Niko. In total, I’ve lived in this city for 23 years, the first 18, and the most recent 5. I left for school, and stayed away an extra 3 years, but I eventually came back, as I always knew I would. One of both the best and worst things about Toronto (like a lot of major metropolitan cities I imagine) is the way it acts as a magnetic force, inexorably drawing people back into itself.
I love living in a big city. I love that I can order any food at any time of the day or night. I love the way the downtown lights look while driving on the Gardiner Expressway at night. I love that I can see Broadway-quality theatre without having to actually live in NYC. I love that nearly my entire family lives in this city, and that most most of my best friends have ended up here too. I love our spots teams. I love that anything I could imagine to do or see or eat or experience, I can do it here.
I live in the gay village in Toronto, within walking distance of literally everything I could ever need. That includes the best queer bookstore/coffee shop/bar/club/meeting space/community centre (this is all one venue), a petting zoo, and a dog park. I love that this neighbourhood votes progressive (at least on a local level, not so much on the federal level) and how many progressive signs and flags I see as I walk down the streets.
Most of the things I hate about this city are either 1) not unique to Toronto (it’s expensive, the transit sucks, it takes forever just to travel to another part of the city) or 2) could be changed if we just got rid of John Tory (the mayor) and Doug Ford (the premier), like the way the city treats its unhoused population, the absolutely ridiculous cost of owning property within the city limits, and the outsized impact the conservative suburbanites in the 905 have on our politics. But I also hate how tourists and suburbanites who are scared of the subway don’t know how to drive in this city, and the fact that the Leafs haven’t won a Cup since 1967.
Everyone who lives in Toronto has me seriously jealous. For real.