Wow I feel like we’re really going for it with an enemies post during Pride month because, honestly…what’s the opposite of an ally or accomplice? (It’s an enemy. That’s the antonym.)
Are there people who make our blood boil, who live rent free in our head, who stand against everything we stand for, not in a chill disagreeing way but in a harm-causing way? Have you ever found yourself the unwilling target of someone who sees you as a nemesis in their narrative, when you really don’t see your role in the story as particularly powerful, as worthy of this demonization? Or, do we refuse to engage with the idea of enemies, to let our thoughts of the people who we don’t align with slip through our minds and away? Do we land somewhere in between?
I asked the team to tell us about their relationship to any enemies they have, how they deal, and how they cope. This roundtable isn’t so much about any enemies themselves, but about how we’re handling adversarial relationships with our fellow humans. Because, listen, it’s really difficult to go through life and to do anything, to try for anything, to work to change anything without running into people who have opposing feelings and beliefs and goals, without having to deal with people who would rather you didn’t change anything. Sometimes, it can all feel very much like a “no good deed goes unpunished” situation. (And with others, sometimes we have to admit, there are times where we’re genuinely in the wrong.) Still, at the end of the day, enemies or no, we’re still here. And I’m so glad you’re here, A+ member. If you’d like to share how you deal or how you’re struggling with enemies, we’d love to hear from you in the comments. Sending you so much love!!!
xoxo,
Nicole
My enemies are either public figures (Leana Wen, you know what you did) or niche local politicians (if I ever see the chair of our city council, he’s getting an earful). I will say, my love language is having a shared enemy or even better, if your significant other claims your enemy as their enemy too. It’s not mature at all, but it’s incredibly hot!
The way that I feel like most of the City Council members are my enemies…lol.
I deal with enemies by either ignoring them, playing nice (coworkers, other people I can’t avoid), or telling them off before bursting into angry-frustration tears. And lighting up my group chat with every petty annoyance and interaction, of course
However, the enemies of my friends? enemies for life no matter what they do. there’s a recent popular show i won’t watch because one time the creator made a social media post that my best friend hated
I have one current Confirmed Enemy because that person is a certified creep. I currently deal with this by sending them bad vibes only and occasionally making very petty comments about how they dress.
I’ll say that when I worked in politics my Confirmed Enemy list was… a LOT longer.
I’m sorry you have to deal with this creep, but also the phrase “bad vibes only” is hilarious.
Stef –
I play a game often with myself where I ask, if I were to deliver three punches, and I had to divide them among politicians, who would they be. It changes week by week, but most often it’s one for Ted Cruz, and two for Bitch McConnell. Interested to hear your three.