Meanwhile, Carson tries the whole “have a catch” thing with the Peaches, reclaiming what we loved, so on and so forth — and hahahaaaa that’s gonna be a big NOPE as the Peaches almost immediately descend into in-fighting and bickering. You wanna talk about overwhelm? Carson is in over her head.
Her lips quiver.
Lupe asks what’s wrong with her face.
Jess (who’s sporting a black eye from last episode’s fight) warns her, don’t you — don’t you do it. Don’t even think about it.
Carson crumbles. It’s too late.
Lupe gets the honor of saying it in the show, but let us all say it together right now, as is the divine right of our people.
1…
2…
3….
“THERE’S NO CRYING IN BASEBALL!”
🗣 Tom Hanks Voice
(By the way, Carson calls Lupe a head case, which… again… feeling mighty white of you there, Carson. Lupe will later disparagingly call herself a “head case” while throwing balls against the team house to check her arm. And that’s what happens when you are racist and ableist and also 🎵 ableism is often tied to white supremacy, these things don’t exist in a vacuum, lalalaaa 🎵)
That night, Sarge tells Carson that “unmarried women are always a half step away from being an angry mob” and that she should toughen up and own her power. Be the boot! I still don’t quite get what “be the boot” means and I’ve watched this scene 3x, but fuck it — it sounds cool. Be! The! Boot!
The next day, Carson will take the “be the boot!” theory out for a walk in the team locker room, to mixed results. Though Greta does find Carson being an asshole to be hot, which she shares in their daily shed car make out session. Carson wants to engage in the time-honored queer tradition of Processing Our FeelingsTM but Greta’s shutting that shit down. She’s worried about how sloppy she’s gotten lately, she worries that Jo was right. So instead, Carson and Greta fight.
Later, Jo and Greta share cigarettes. Yes, Jo was the one who was so worried about following the rules, but right now in this moment? She’s feeling hopeful. After Dana, Greta’s first love who we later find out was sent away by her family for being gay, they had to be so careful. But now? Look at them. They are playing professional baseball, the world is changing. And Greta, Jo’s oldest friend, seems genuinely happy with Carson. Jo wonders out loud, “so what if right here, right now, we forget the rules, both of us. Wouldn’t that be nice?”
I know! I know my timing is terrible! But to be the loose cigarette in this woman’s hands, I —
In the living room, Jess throws Lupe a pillow “for your ass. It’s getting soft from sitting on the bench so long” — Jess is over it, they were supposed to brothers. They were both supposed to be about winning, and right now Lupe is holding the team back.
But Jess isn’t the only one who is over it.
Lupe: She grabbed me. But I’m the ‘fiery troublemaker’? She started the fight, not me. She had secret practices behind my back. She drove Dove away. And now she gets to coach! She didn’t even want that. Just had it handed to her. And you… never wondered why that is? Hermano.
Lupe takes a resigned exhale. Jess casts their eyes up towards the ceiling, caught, then back at Lupe, not knowing exactly what to say. Jess hadn’t thought about it like that before. Lupe points out, Jess hasn’t had to. White privilege and white investments work to mask themselves.
Even if we’ve all seen it, I’m grateful the show directly addressed the unequal treatment between Lupe and Carson, the team’s racist framing of Lupe being “lazy” or a “troublemaker,” and that Lupe gets to say her own peace. I think that even a few years ago, a different version of this show might have made a different (and worse) storytelling decision. As a matter of craft, it doesn’t feel like exposition, but a genuine moment of connection between Jess and Lupe, brothers on the team. I’ve had conversations like this with white friends, and it’s never easy. Not all of those relationships survived it, but the ones that did are stronger and deeper. I wish the same for the hermanos.
At the same time, however, it’s hard not to notice that Lupe’s critiques are not taken to Carson directly — which is a misstep. The two later make up, with Carson telling Lupe to stop wrecking her arm over Dove’s forkball and to throw her own pitches instead, but the reconciliation is not on Lupe’s terms. Instead, it comes from a confrontation between Carson and Max.
Speaking of which, what has Max been up to? Extreme Gay Panic, that’s what!
“To describe my mother would be to write about a hurricane.” — Dr. Maya Angelou (I Know Why the Caged Bird Sings, 1969)
Max goes to Toni’s hair salon after hours, surprising them both. She asks her mother to do her hair, “any style that you think will look nice” — even though she almost never lets Toni touch her hair at all.
I’ve never known an intimacy like my mother’s hands in my hair. For me, it’s warmth and safety and sacred. It’s been a place of kindness, even when I didn’t know how to be kind to myself. And that’s not to say that there isn’t a lot (a lot) of judgement also wrapped up in Black hair. There’s respectability politics and white standards of beauty and criticism. But those cuts burn so deep because of the intimacy that’s at the root to begin with. The vulnerability of baring your scalp to be nurtured and cared for by the same hands that brought you into this world, that fed you when you couldn’t feed yourself. The opening yourself up to the pain that same vulnerability can uncover.
Which, of course, is also why this scene broke me. Max isn’t coming to her mother for comfort, even though I think she thinks she is. She’s coming to her mother because seeing Bertie scared Max of a possibility she never knew was in front of her. So instead she’s back here, trying desperately to be the daughter her mother always wanted her to be.
In the most intimate way possible, Max is silently asking her mother for acceptance. She’s willing to rip herself into a million pieces to do it. And either because she doesn’t notice, or doesn’t care to notice, Toni lets her. At the precise moment when Max needs her the most, when a mother is supposed to fill your cup, Toni instead manipulates their closeness and drains her. Referencing their argument, Toni tells her daughter that she’s always liked her. She likes her fire. Her personality. Her hair. She’s always had such good hair.
Next, Max — with her newly femme, Mis Toni approved hairstyle — knocks on Gary’s door. She would like have The Heterosexual Sex please, with Gary (of can’t play baseball worth a damn and got his ass beat fame). Gary starts to question if they should slow down but Max is a woman determined and so here they are, having very lackluster sex while Gary says Max is the most beautiful thing he’s ever seen (and I believe her really means it) and Max tries to look anywhere but the baseball posters on his walls, a lump in her throat.
It’s over quickly and please give Chanté Adams an Emmy for the ultimate dime drop beat exchange from the sadness of their sex to the comedy of Max popping up to get dressed because she has to bake a pie (!!!) — anything to get out of there as fast as possible.
Later, Max has a catch with Carson (I told you it was sticking) and, after noticing her wedding ring, asks Carson about Greta. Of course Carson assumes that Max wants to know how could she have sex with Greta if she has a husband. But actually Max wants to know how she could have sex with him — they look at each other, a little flummoxed at what Max is admitting in this moment. Carson says sex with a man can be nice sometimes (Max says they can agree to disagree lol), and then admits her bigger problem is that she… she might love Greta. Now they’re both stunned again, this time at how honest and close they are becoming, so quickly.
Then Carson says, “wow I wish I could talk to my pitcher like this” and the entire house of cards falls down.
“… and that’s why I’ve always thought Bette should end up with Tina”
?!?!?
First of all, it was not (and will never be) Lupe’s fault that Dove latched on to her like the white colonizer he was and named her the “Spanish Striker” for him to imprint on. It’s largely Carson and Greta’s fault that the team isolated Lupe, and she never stopped it.
But second, Max asks, where was this same “oh you are so talented!! I wish you were my pitcher!!” energy when she was getting thrown out of AAGPBL try outs?!? Oh that’s right, it was non-existent. Carson was there. She saw Max pitch. She knew Max was the best woman out there and she said absolutely nothing. None of them did. They all just watched, safe in the bubble of their white privilege, as Max’s dream died. So no, fuck off with “I wish you were my pitcher.” That is not a thing that Carson gets to say.
OK. Max doesn’t say “fuck off,” that’s me — but the points are made and I’m glad Max made them. Still, and I have to say it again, Max is not the only person of color that Carson has wronged. The fact that Carson’s not also confronted by her own teammate allows her white privilege to remain unchecked in the eyes of the Peaches. It also robs the audience of a model for sustained accountability, growth, and makes the subsequent repairing of Lupe and Carson’s relationship feel a bit hollow.
Max ultimately leaves the field, muttering “I can’t keep doing this to myself,” before going home to Clance. She tells her best friend that she’s done with baseball. She doesn’t know who she is without it, and maybe that’s been the problem all along.
Carson apologizes to the Peaches, who finally win a game! In the celebration at the house, Jo and Jess “shower” Lupe with congrats by way of shaken up beer bottles and damn the queer brotherhood of this show remains one of my all time favorite things. Greta tells Carson the truth about Dana — the first time she’s been vulnerable with her.
Carson promises that they won’t get hurt, but there’s no way for her to promise that.
And Max? Max goes back to Bertie’s.
❤️
Max sits in Bertie and Gracie’s warm yellow kitchen on a stool. Three Black queer people, across two generations, creating a new family other their own, rooted in our oldest traditions. The kitchen hair salon goes back as far as Black folks. It’s on purpose that it’s here. Bertie asks if Max is sure about this.
Max inhales and licks her bottom lip before letting her teeth graze across it. Miss Toni said that Max’s hair was one of the things she liked most about her, so yes, this is the first step to Max figuring out who she is on her own. She’s sure.
Gracie promises that Bertie’s going to make sure she looks real good, Bertie walks behind Max to put a towel on her shoulders.
“Your mama and I learned how to cut hair together.” Bertie starts to hum as she opens and closes the scissors. Max lets out a stuttered breath. The camera comes in close on Chanté Adams’ face. Her shoulders are still tense — but her eyes flutter open, her brain trying to place where she’s heard that song before.
“Mama always sings that.”
“Well, maybe you came here to find a piece of home.”
Bertie goes back to humming and Max blinks her eyes slowly, considering every step on every broken road that has brought her to this moment. Her cheeks move slowly, so slowly, each muscle becoming a barely there smile. Her shoulders finally drop.
I think a lot of times when we talk about queer television, we think about romance. We want to know “how many episodes until it gets gay” — and we usually mean how many episodes until the gays flirt, until they kiss. And that makes sense, of course. Queer love stories are still rare, the kind that make your heart fill and knock and pour out. The kind that make you feel like someone out there will keep you safe and warm.
That’s also not the only kind of love story.
I still haven’t gotten over it. I feel like I’ve been replaying this scene in my mind like how you move a pencil between your fingers, marveling at the wonder of its balance, as if nature still has a a magic trick that you’ve never seen before. The care for Black queerness, back then. We somehow always found each other, loved on each other, even back then.
Quietly, in the safety of her own queer family that she never knew she had, Max finds peace. In the intimacy of her Bertie’s hands through her hair, she finds a new path. It’s everything she looked for in Toni’s salon, and instead came away with panic and fear — but here, there’s safety. And maybe, just maybe, Bertie’s right. Maybe it can be home.
Every episode of A League of Their Own is streaming on Prime Video. Editor in Chief Carmen Phillips and Senior Editor Heather Hogan will be trading off recaps, one a day, every single day, for the whole first season. See you back here tomorrow!
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ah i loved this recap so much! the contrast between max’s two hair scenes in this episode (and we can add in carson’s haircut from the pilot) is such emotional storytelling.
one of my friends who is watching at a more reasonable pace than me texted me “so greta is really just a hot mean femme and they double down on that huh” and it’s v true and i love that about her
re: shirley. i do genuinely appreciate that her anxiety isn’t like, a quirky character trait but a thing that she recognizes and has coping mechanisms around because yeah, when was the last time you saw a character self-soothe on television without it being a punchline? but the pandora’s box of the danger of a single story has been opened for me and i keep wishing that there was another vocally jewish character and/or challenging of the trope. part of that is the nature of an ensemble show- shirley doesn’t get as much development as carson and max because it isn’t her story
bertie! the love of my life! when we got the reveal that max’s gay aunt was really dapper butch bertie i was so delighted. i would take an entire series about bertie and gracie traveling the country finding their extended queer family
Such a great recap!
“You want to have a catch” has to be a direct reference to Field of Dreams, right? I love taking that line and giving it to queer women.
I think so because no one really says that in real life.
Actually I do say this!! I grew up in NY (about an hour north of NYC) and I’ve always said “have a catch” I loved this aspect of the show!
It absolutely is *not* “have a catch.” I will play catch and die on this hill.
I loved this episode so much! I have a mom that I love very much and feel very tender towards who knows and doesn’t argue any more, but will never accept me being gay, but we have a relationship with a lot of love and a lot of not being able to love each other the way we need. I’ve never seen a tender and complicated scene like that between a mom and a queer daughter and it really resonated! Oof.
All of the conversations in this episode felt so real! Like you said, Carmen, not like exposition.
It also had some moments of humor! Struck a great balance.
Shirley going on about rhythm and repetition and kinkiness w/Dove making Jo run laps was so funny. Underneath all of her primness, Shirley is so horny! She contains multitudes. And then Jo walking by right after with the Leo comment was the cherry on top.
Could not agree with you more about Shirley’s horniness! That whole scene was gold!
Max’s face when Bertie does her hair made my little grinch heart grow three sizes :crying face:
The cutting hair in the kitchen seen made me cry. The tenderness of it and spiritual nature of it was so sweet
Be the Boot.
Earlier in that scene didn’t Sarge tell a story about a General of hers who’s nickname was “the Boot” and how he told her to suck something up?
“Be the Boot” is to channel the energy of bad-ass no-nonsense Marine General.
I have rarely watched a show and thought “this was written with so much love by a black queer person”. Everything you said- Bertie, the hair mirroring scenes, the suit gift…so much love went into Max’s story
Thank you for the reflection and love that went into this review, Carmen. I loved watching this episode and then revisiting it again through your eyes/with you.
I didn’t expect the Bertie storyline at all and it ended up one of my favorite element of the series. As others have said, it’s the care – but also the specificity of the characters, of the place, of the actions and dialogue, and it really is so good.
It sometimes felt like Carson’s intentions were also muddled – is it self-serving? feeling threatened by Lupe? genuinely wanting to protect her pitching arm? I too wish that the tensions between Lupe and Carson had been confronted more directly within the narrative. By which I mean I wish she had been held accountable more directly.
I have found it satisfying that the show calls out (in narratively fluid rather than didactic ways) all the various layers and forms of inequity… I think of the “charm school” scene when Greta reminds Carson that she doesn’t have to worry as much about performing femininity in particular ways because on the surface she checks the normative boxes: white, middle class, married, sufficiently feminine/pretty by mainstream societal standards, etc.
I was to say yes to this- it’s the specificity of the characters and dialogue that make the max/Bertie/Toni story the best of the series. (I love you Roberta Colindrez though and you can never have enough screen time). The dialogue feels real. The sentiments feel real. There are layers to the dialogue that say important things about how the queer black experience is different. Bertie feels both surprising and very much like a person who existed in that time and space. It’s the rootedness of the people and the excellent writing + character development that rises to something noticeably better than the rest of the show
I’ve been trying to articulate my thoughts eloquently and can’t pin them down, but the scene in the hair salon was so real and it…yeah. This is a stunning recap Carmen
Obsessed with this episode and this wonderful recap, thank you for writing!!
Amazing. Love love loved that episode.
Can we also talk about how the end of this episode hair cutting scene absolutely parallels the end of Season 2 Epsiode 5 of the OG L word where Shane cuts Jenny’s hair? Like it’s the same fucking shot. I refuse to believe that’s a coincidence.
However, the context of the League of their own version is so much more nuanced and beautiful that I wish I had seen it first!
As a Jew with anxiety I would like to say that I think Shirley is really funny and I am enjoying her character!
Speaking of enjoyment I also enjoyed this recap
thank you for this thoughtful, detailed review Carmen! i loved it all
Does anyone else feel like this show is exactly how it felt to be on a high school / college sports team in the 90’s? Secretly holding hands on the bus, hoping (but never getting to) room with your crush or gf, your gf being seen with a man on her arm, someone is sleeping with the coach, everyone is secretly gay but no one is talking about it… It’s really bringing it all back!
This is so beautiful! Absolutely loving these daily recaps, and so here for this adoration of Max and the brothers.
Uncle Bertie & Gracie & what the writers & actors do with so few words & so little time is amazzzzing.
Also, Abbie Jacobson if you are reading this – Carson’s unawareness of white privilege is also happening at a meta level in that Carson’s story is NOT more interesting than other stories here, but Carson & her convo partner have more lines & space to deliver them. Like Max, the black and latinx actors & writers on this show are accomplishing twice as much with 1/2 as much time. Please have a season 2 and please make Carson’s story & lines more concise so we have more of Lupe/Roberta Colindrez (their monologue later on is bare minimum i mean more than that)and so Max’s story can have more camera pauses, slower cuts away, & maybe Max & Clance don’t always have to talk so fast.
Abbi, i’m sorry i spelled your name wrong! I will try expressing this all again better when i have more sleep.
ok i slept. let me try again –
Mfoniso Udofia and Katrelle Kindred, thank you for this episode and for all your other work writing & creating on this show as a whole. it’s so many gifts for all of us rolled into one. Uncle Bertie and Aunt Gracie, and Max’s moments with herself will be with me for the rest of my life & I’m sure for many other people. This script is magnum fucking opus, full of tiny exchanges that do more than most plays, and i’m in total awe of the writing & the loving camera work & sets, and every detail.
Abbi & Will! this whole show is fucking phenomenal & i second all of the praise & celebrations in the recaps & the comments here. Thank you for bringing on AMAZING writers & directors for the whole show and most episodes. . . I also want more story for Lupe’s character and for Roberta Colindrez’s acting, and I want the camera to linger more on moments like Max’s moments with herself, and on Uncle Bertie and Gracie loving each other & trying to support Max, I want more of Es . . . . I know every 1/2 a second of this show is so precious & hard fought for. As you approach season 2, which there had better be, in season 1 there are many 1/2 seconds that Carson, Greta, and Charlie didn’t 100% need, if you look carefully at their lines, conversations & their delivery. Any conversation Uncle Bertie is in, or that Esther is in, accomplishes SO much with every phrase. Max and Clance have that spacious friend back and forth which is soooo sorely needed, and they talk realllly fast thru it. There IS more space to give them, tho it is measured in 1/2 seconds, and that space CAN be found in & around Carson’s lines in the script. The writers on this show are writing novellas in 3-5 lines exchanges for many other characters (most prominently among Black characters, but also for Jess, Jo, Vi), and Carson’s writing can also be that compact, and the luxury of say – time on e.g. her & greta’s slower back and forths can go to e.g. Max and [redacted for spoilers] having slower back and forths ;).
Carmen! I needed to read all of these after watching the series, but now I think I need to re-read each recap and then watch each episode one by one with more time to digest.
You are so on point about the many types of queer television and queer love stories. All of the feelings
Another amazing recap Carmen! I really appreciate your analysis of Carson, Lupe, and white privilege.
Such an incredible recap thank you!!
It would be great if the writers here did it similarly to “Orange Is the New Black” and took a story that starts mainly with a feminine white woman at front and center (here: Carson), used her as a Trojan Horse and then told actually many stories about Bertie, Max, Jo, Lupe and Jess in season two. I would like to see more masculine-of-center characters instead of Carson and Greta as the main couple with most screen time and who seem to be the primary love story.
I really don’t agree with the “Carson started the fight” take. She touches Lupe twice in that argument, but both times are pretty gentle touches to her arm to try to keep the attention of her fellow coach and a teammate who is refusing to play. Sure, she probably should’ve just let Lupe go back to the bench and deal with it later instead of continuing the argument, but Lupe is the first one to make it a physical fight between the initial shove and the tackle that escalates it.
Slowly watching my way through this series and I LOVE this recap!!! absolutely beautiful and perfect. The relationship between Max and Bertie just keeps making me cry, it’s done with so much care and it’s something we never get to see in media and I’m so thankful for it.
I just noticed today (while doing some research for my Jess costume) that this recap says Lupe has the “there’s no crying in baseball” line, but it is actually Jess! Lupe just sets it up by also being annoyed with Carson.