The following article contains some spoilers for Black Bag.

Welcome to our series called Dykes Discuss, where we discuss media and topics that aren’t necessarily lesbian-forward but that we still want to weigh in on! We have fun!

Drew: Okay so I realized that Steven Soderbergh is actually the inspo for this series because it’s built off our article about Magic Mike’s Last Dance from a couple years ago.

Christina: And you know what? That really tracks because if you RECALL, you and I really bonded after you did that gay Ocean’s 11 table read!

Drew: Wow Steven Soderbergh bringing the gays together!! He does make work that’s sexy and full of schemes so…

Christina: And boy is Black Bag chockablock with both!

Drew: I love that I did not know this movie existed a month ago because I was just looking forward to his other new movie Presence and now I’ve seen Black Bag and it’s perfect.

He is always working. And that makes sense because he’s a Capricorn and this movie is all about work. Balancing work with being married to Cate Blanchett.

Christina: The sheer amount of films he has MADE! And you can tell that he’s interested in both the idea of working all the time and being deeply in love with your wife

Drew: While technically I am not married yet, I am also interested in both of these things.

Christina: It’s basically the plot of Black Bag.

Drew: Yeah so for the folks at home who don’t know basically Black Bag is about an MI5(?) agent who is married to another agent and he’s given a list of who might be the mole and his wife is on the list. So he does what any reasonable man would do: plans a dinner party for everyone on the list.

Christina: MI6, but yes that is basically it.

Drew: Excuse me, MI6. Do both exist?

Christina: I think they do, actually

Drew: They work for one of the UK’s evil organizations.

Christina: Hugely possible that it was part of the spy plot that someone else worked for MI5? I feel we heard both. Which goes to show, I didn’t even have a FULLEST grasp on the spy plot and still had the time of my life!

Drew: Oh I mean that’s the great thing about spy movies. It’s kind of like film noir. The plot is vibes. You have to follow it emotionally more than literally.

It’s why I think people were way too hard on The Last Thing He Wanted but that’s getting us off topic

Christina: I think that is usuallllly true for spy stuff, but I feel like one of Soderbergh’s gifts is his ability to explain the heist. But, like, I got the big stuff and that is what matters! The particular agency matters less!

Drew: That’s fair. There’s definitely some stuff in terms of when people knew what and what was going on that I’m still not 100% on. But yeah I didn’t care. And I’m excited to rewatch.

Christina: YEAH it’s gonna go right in the old rewatch pile. Honestly….I am going to see my parents this weekend, maybe I can get ‘em to the cinema. Adult Thrillers you can watch with your parents! They’re back!

Drew: Are you a Cate queer?

Christina: Like, technically yes? In that I have eyes and a semi-regular sex drive, so you know, I GET it. But I am not like….gripped by the throat by her in the way some seem to be.

However, when it comes to Cate the Actress I am literally always on board.

Drew: Yeah I’d say the same. Mostly I think she’s an incredible actor. I’m not feral for her. Although I support those in our community who are and they’ll have a lot to enjoy here.

Christina: Now I will say, her in this movie with dark hair…did something for me. Just to be fully on brand for a moment. But also there is something….almost kookier about her when she has dark hair in roles that I have come to really love.

Drew: My fully on brand moment is I’d never seen Marisa Abela in anything and I haven’t developed a crush this big and this quickly in awhile. It’s like oh sure a chaotic femme who is a flirt. That’s original, Drew. But idk I might have to watch Industry.

Christina: WE GOTTA TALK ABOUT MY GIRL

Okay confession, I’ve only seen the first two seasons of Industry. But! she is a STANDOUT in the cast and if you liked her in this oh boyo you are gonna love her in that.

Drew: Flirting with your very monogamous superior before calling out your bf for cheating and then STABBING HIM IN THE HAND?? Yeah I fell in love.

Christina: Like, she’s so good we all forgave her for Back to Black (2024)????

Drew: Lmaooo realizing that was her almost lessened my crush. But I get an actor taking that gig early in her career! I will never watch that film but I cannot judge her.

Christina: That is exactly how I feel, and again she is SO GOOD that will not blight her. Also Soderbergh like straight offered her this role, I think, didn’t even make her audition so like…go awffff

Drew: Soderbergh really just GETS hot people. In a way that doesn’t even feel pervy most of the time? It’s like a cold detached appreciation. Hot people are his espionage.

Like duh Cate and Marisa and Naomi Harris. But even casting Pierce Brosnan.

Christina: Oh thank God you mentioned Pierce, he was so good! Honestly, I thought he was going to phone it in, but he had one line read that I like gagged at during the film.

Drew: Yeah the scene with him and Cate when he’s eating the illegal fish is so good.

Christina: I also want to shout out my guy Regé-Jean Page because I do want success for him and he is good and if he is gonna get stuck playing asshole military guy, I am thrilled to see him do it in a good movie!

Drew: I hadn’t seen him in anything! He was really good!

I should watch the Dungeons and Dragons movie. I’ve heard it’s fun.

Christina: Yes that has been on my list for a while! Adding to the list of things to watch with parents this weekend (in the house edition)

He was very tall and hot in season one of Bridgerton and I would like to see him on my screen doing that more!

Drew: Let men be tall and hot and not in the military!

Christina: SAY THAT

Steven Soderbergh does remain the director of one of my favorite sex scenes in film: Out of Sight (1998).

Drew: God Out of Sight is sexyyyy

Christina: That sex scene in the hotel is MIND NUMBINGLY hot, go watch Out of Sight right this minute the world!!!

Drew: I need to give it a rewatch. I haven’t seen it since I was a kid so I’m curious what its… politics are lol

Christina: Well she is a…cop from Florida so… mixed!

Drew: I did find it interesting the ways this movie engages with the political realities of its espionage.

Christina: Yes! Like, there is killing, but God there is paperwork and meetings and POLITICS

Drew: I’m watching Succession for the first time and it reminded me of that where you end up rooting for the people who are less bad but the show smartly takes moments to remind you that nah everyone on your screen is rotted in their soul. At least a bit.

Christina: Both this film and Succession are uncommonly good at the reminding the audience part, me thinks.

Drew: I do think the reason I tend to be able to enjoy spy stuff more than cop stuff is there seems to be more awareness around the realities of the institution. Even if you’re still meant to root for certain people who are, ya know, working for the British government, the immorality is usually shown to be more ingrained in the organizations and the job rather than framed as an unfortunate exception or something that can be risen above.

I also like how this film is about how everyone chooses the ranking of their loyalties: Country, ethics, sex drive, spouse. They’re all driven by where they place their priorities.

Christina: And you know I do think that is always true…just more direct in this movie, perhaps lol

Drew: Yes this is very loud about its genre conventions being A Metaphor For Relationships

Christina: To the point where it is quite meta about it in fact!

Drew: When I realized his name was George and he was inviting younger couples over for dinner I was like oh this is Who’s Afraid of Virginia Woolf? It’s Who’s Afraid of Agent Woolf?

Christina: LOL I had the same thought about WAOVW, first thing that came to mind.

Hmm that’s easily the funniest acronym I have ever seen. Thats terrible.

Drew: It looks like you’re a cartoon wolf seeing Cate Blanchett. Waoooovw!

Christina: Much like George was the entire time she was around. The only way a man should be!

Drew: It’s so beautiful to finally see another fictional man on-screen love his wife the way every lesbian I know loves theirs.

Christina: I am lightly loathe to talk about Fassbender due to how much he sucks, but damn that man is a good actor and HELLO the tailoring of the suits!!!!!

Drew: Yeah I don’t really understand why some things stick and some don’t in our culture but I have not forgotten that he was accused of domestic violence!

Christina: It’s a sticky one for me too.

Drew: The Me Too movement was less about people being held accountable and more that every movie I watch I now go hmm there’s at least one person here who I know sucks.

Christina: Exactly right.

Drew: I always try to question why I have the reactions I do. Like I find Brad Pitt basically unwatchable now. And I’m like is that just because I have a parasocial connection to the woman he abused? I don’t think there’s a right answer in terms of what media to engage with or not engage with or what reactions we have. But I do think it’s good to think about.

Christina: I think about that line all the time, and I think the only way anything works is if we are just constantly interrogating what those reactions are and where they’re coming from. And yet when Clarissa was like “God’s that’s hot”…well, it was!

Drew: Yup.

Christina: I mean I knew George was for me the moment he was cooking in a dress shirt and then put ANOTHER ONE ON after the first was lightly splattered.

Drew: I loved that moment. Like if he’s going to throw a dinner party as a ruse he’s still going to throw a goddamn dinner party and look pristine doing it.

Christina: Whatever SILKEN item Kathryn was wearing?? Need that on the double, thanks so much!

Drew: And while I was lusting after Clarissa I also was relating to her because if George and Kathryn were my coworkers my god I’d want to be their third so badly

Christina: My entire life would be dedicated to being a spy and getting them to love me.

Drew: I loved when she was like “you didn’t have to do that” when he tries to blackmail her. She’s like literally flirt with me for two seconds I’d say yes to anything.

Christina: “Sweetie I know you are stressed but seriously.”

Drew: Oh we also have to talk about how this movie is a tight 90!

Christina: A BREEEEEEEEZY 90!

Drew: I am not Team All Movies Should Be Short but I dooooooo think there’s something so magical about a 90 minute movie especially a thriller. Genre movies in a post-Marvel world are all so goddamn long. I love my Fast and Furious family and Mission Impossibles but my god.

Christina: Thrillers especially, it’s so easy to lose the tension? A long movie has its place, but this is just meant for 90 mins.

Also I would not be me if I did not mention that the score also RIPS.

Drew: SO GOOD. Let me fire that up on Spotify actually while we continue our discussion

Christina: David Holmes, who also did the score for Ocean’s. Which you can feel in a good way here.

Drew: Can I confess something behind this beautiful paywall of ours?

Christina: Billy Flynn voice That’s what I’m here for.

Drew: When Ocean’s 8 came out and (sorry) sucked, I was like why did they hire Gary Ross to direct instead of a talented woman director??? But now I’m a bit like… why did they hire Gary Ross instead of just paying Soderbergh whatever was needed to get him to come back.

Christina: My gut says there simply wasn’t a price he would do it for, he seemed…content to move on and WHY. It could have been GOOD.

Drew: So good.

Christina: Instead of like, largely bad with some watchable moments that all feel like they are from different movies.

Drew: I am grateful even if he’s not making more Ocean’s movie he’s still operating in that mode. Logan Lucky was such a fun heist

Christina: God Logan Lucky ROCKS. I rewatched semi recently and just had a grin on my face for so long.

Drew: Even High Flying Bird takes an NBA lockout and turns it into a heist movie of sorts (and is soooo good).

Christina: In many ways Let Them All Talk was heist.

Drew: Hahaha

Christina: It was hard to get over Lucas Hedges having my dream life.

Drew: I really enjoyed that one. I’ve heard his other Meryl movie sucks though. The Laundromat? It’s one of the few I haven’t seen. I guess you can’t work as much as he does and not make some bad movies.

I mean I hate Traffic and he won the Oscar for that. Should’ve been for Erin Brockovich that same year!

Christina: GOD HE HAS MADE SO MANY MOVIES what a freak

Black Bag is now in theatres.

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