If I Didn’t Initiate Sex in My Marriage, We’d Never Have Sex — Is This Normal?

Is it normal for one person in the relationship to never initiate sex?
Q:
Is it normal to have one person in a relationship be the initiator of sex all the time? I know my wife loves me and loves having sex, she’s always into it once we get going. But I can’t help but feel as though we would hardly ever have sex if I didn't take the lead, or suggest it every time. I acknowledge that it’s probably not everyone’s “thing” to be the one to lead physically, but I often feel as though I shouldn’t have to assume that role every time either.
A:
Sa'iyda: I feel you friend. I am usually the initiator of sex in my relationship too. It really does suck sometimes to be the one who always does the heavy lifting when it comes to starting sexy time. As...

Join a crew of extraordinary humans who keep Autostraddle here for everyone!  Already a member? Sign In

Before you go! Autostraddle runs on the reader support of our AF+ Members. If this article meant something to you today — if it informed you or made you smile or feel seen, will you consider joining AF and supporting the people who make this queer media site possible?

Join AF+!

the team

auto has written 735 articles for us.