Letter From Your Editors

1: 💛 Ari // Vanessa // Rachel // Kamala // Riese
2: Casey // Stef // Sarah // Nicole // Dani
3: Laneia // Drew // Heather // Malic // Ari 💛

Hi Insiders!

September is generally a “getting back to business” season and that’s some of what we’ve been up to at Autostraddle. I know this summer has been hard, depressing and weird, but it’s also had its moments. One of my summer highlights was hopping a fence to swim in a nice pool at a big, deserted house with a strangely executed Moroccan architectural theme. The place was empty because it was about to be remodeled and my friend told me that a friendly dyke was watching the house until it was finished, and we could just invite ourselves in. It felt like an appropriately eerie and satisfying pandemic summer excursion.

But in terms of getting back to business, we started off the month with a virtual Shakedown retreat for senior staff. We set some intentions around how we want to demonstrate who we are as a site and community, how we can help the public at large and all of you get to know our many multi-talented writers better, how to bring more behind the scenes insights to you AND we all watched the lesbian classic D.E.B.S. together. Jordana Brewster’s eyebrows hold up, even if Holland Taylor’s role as a queer-shaming agency head honcho now seems ridiculous.

There were also some incredible projects on the site this month. Some of my favorites were from the beautifully nuanced Bi+ Week that Rachel curated — I especially loved this conversation on the shared experiences between bi and trans identities — I’ve been getting a kick out of our Lost Movie Reviews — Kayla’s on The Handmaiden was fabulous — the Gay Emmys inspired the necessary discourse on TV that we need, and as a haver and lover of fat bodies, I was especially into our latest fat bondage erotica on S L I C K.

Happy fall, we hope you’re hanging in there, we’re rooting for you!

Love,

Kamala / Carmen / Rachel / Heather / Laneia / Sarah / Nicole / Riese

Top 10 Most Popular Posts From August 2020

These posts were hella popular last month.

1. The Soft Butch That Couldn’t (Or: I Got COVID-19 in March and Never Got Better), by Heather
2. “Ammonite” Trailer: Kate Winslet and Saoirse Ronan in “Portrait of a Lady on Fire” Meets “Gentleman Jack”, by Heather
3. NIECY NASH DONE WENT AND GOT GAY MARRIED,  by Ari
4. Wynonna Earp” Episode 402 Recap: Her Secret Garden, by Valerie
5. What’s Gay and New and Streaming on Netflix, Amazon and Hulu in August 2020? by Riese
6. Queer Horoscopes for August 2020, by Corinna
7. Netflix’s “Teenage Bounty Hunters” Is a Godsend of a Queer Romp, by Valerie
8. Also.Also.Also: There’s No Crying in Baseball But There Are Gays in Amazon’s A League of Their Own, by Carmen
9. Vote Now in Autostraddle’s 3rd Annual Gay Emmys, by Riese
10. You Need Help: Can I Tell My Poly Roommate Not to See Her Partners Because of Coronavirus?, by Vanessa

Nine Important Excerpts From Editorial Conversations

Heather: Dolly Parton-inspired rooftop bar opens at Nashville hotel
Rachel: omg
heather it is absolutely killing me we can’t send you here for a hunter s thompson style 7000 word profile
Heather: I KNOW!!!
Rachel: fanfiction but it’s just about you getting to go to this rooftop bar
Adrian: the second it is reasonable to go places again I am going there and I will send pics
probably of me lounging on “oversized day beds” etc
Heather: OMG!
Christina: This is ALMOST ranking over the town that Nora Roberts owns like…80% of as places I must visit the MOMENT I can go to places
Heather: nora roberts bought stars hollow???
Christina: BASICALLY? She owns like…a hotel and a bookstore and maybe a restaurant?? it;s like Nora Roberts land
Heather: oh my god
if you have a dark and troubled past you’re running from, i bet you find love here the second you check in to the hotel
Christina: Has she written a trilogy about three brothers who fix up a hotel that she based on her own actual hotel?? YOU BET
Heather: i am so happy
Christina: I had a REAL Nora summer last year when I was unemployed
it was…the best time of my life maybe
Heather: Wines I Drank During My Nora Roberts Summer, Ranked By Resilience
Christina: Don’t tempt ME with a good time

Carly: 10/6 I can record early afternoon yes!
Or late afternoon
Lauren: Great!
Carly: Ideally done by 6p
Lauren: Yes totally
Always down to be done before dinner
Carly: The only thing I have to look forward to are meals
lol
Lauren: Yes dinner is the finish line of the day
And when I start the weed intake
Riese: 1. Dinner 2. Weed 3. Dinner #2 / Dessert
Great evening lineup
Carly: Yes
Same
Lauren: Literally same
Carly: Literally yes
Lauren: Sometimes dessert #2 if im being honest
Carly: Love that energy

Context: Drew is watching Ratched on a Sunday

Drew: I love Ryan Murphy??
Heather: ahahaha! drew, you should write a series of vignettes about your relationship with your problematic loves and it’ll be like maybe one ex, euphoria, ryan murphy, but no one will know until the end that two are tv!

[….50 minutes later….]

Drew: …………a lot has happened in the last 50 minutes and I’m no longer sure if I love Ryan Murphy
Heather: lololololol
this is your glee journey, condensed
Drew: I have ZERO idea how people are going to feel about this show
Critics, the gay public, my friends and loved ones
Could really go either way
Heather: that’s how i felt about the bisexual! one of my favorite shows ever! (sorry for comparing desiree akhavan to ryan murphy)
Drew: No it’s okay they are both irreverent gays so it makes sense
One thing that brings me joy is because Jane Campion’s daughter is one of the leads Jane Campion will absolutely be watching this show
Heather: we don’t know enough about what jane campion is doing on a day to do basis to be honest
Drew: That’s my feeling!

[….45 minutes later…]

Drew: Ryan Murphy is like “I love queer sex scenes*!”
*sex scenes between a cishet man I’m attracted to and a cishet woman who is blonde

[….7 hours later….]

Drew: Ryan Patrick Murphy WHY must you be this way !!

Heather: Tracy Chapman’s ‘Fast Car’ Always Sounds New
Laneia: need an option in slack to blur sensitive material like “tracy chapman” and “fast car” and pictures of tracy chapman

[mid-discussion of a dating app]

Drew:

Shelli: WAIT WHAT?! Lol
Shelli: I hate Donald glover ducks and that other dude, Dan humprrey is a scammer, Blair did my boy wrong and Serena is whiny
I hate most modes of transporting too lol
Drew: haaha
Look I think you marry Glover and take his money at least
Rachel: shelli the revelations of the things you hate only get better as time goes on
Shelli: Lol I’m so trash hahaha
Rachel: i love the big vision
“modes of transport in general”
hard no from shelli
Drew: I’ve never watched Gossip Girl but I have a strong dislike of Blake Lively that’s probs due to her reminding me of my sister’s worst high school friends
But I’d still have to fight that other guy because of his face
Shelli: It’s like “planes, trains, automobiles” and I’m like – “No”
Drew: Do you generally not like to travel or…
do you just put up with these modes of transport you dislike
Shelli: I put up with them for either short periods of time or with the help of gin.
Rachel: i wish you could design your own games on this app
shelli’s can be like two truths and a lie but ‘of these three things, which do i categorically hate’
grilled cheese, chess, mermaids
daisies, modes of transportation, bubble gum
Shelli: EL OH EL
YOU KNOW ME SO WELL LOL

Kayla: does anyone know if Haunting Of Bly Manor is gonna be at all gay
Drew: Imagine the disrespect if it isn’t…
Kayla: i will be VERY LET DOWN
but so far i can’t find out much
Drew: Oh sure
It could very well not be
Since Haunting of Hill House is gay in its source material
But you can’t just get less gay series to series??? That’s so mean
Kayla: if anything series should progressively get MORE gay over time
Drew: Correct
And we’re living in a post-Little Fires Everywhere world and from now on I demand everyone adapting anything think hmm can I make two main characters gay? And the answer should always be yes
Kayla: crossing my fingers for another lesbian with intimacy issues in the Haunting Multiverse

On “gayest not gay film”
Kayla: My answer is absolutely gonna be Bedazzled
Drew: A CLASSIC
My answer is either Catwoman or A Walk to Remember and I think I need to go with A Walk to Remember
Every lesbian couple on Tinder looking for a third looks exactly like this:

Heather:hhhahahahahaha!!!!
one of mine and stacy’s most everlasting fights is what is mandy moore’s best movie!
she says saved and i say chasing liberty and i already know where valerie falls on this argument because she and stacy have ganged up on me in real life about it REPEATEDLY.
Valerie: i am FILLED WITH CHRIST’S LOVE :chucks bible:
Drew: I would like to add How to Deal to the discussion
Valerie: single greatest moment in cinematic history
chasing liberty and how to deal are also both great, don’t get me wrong
Drew: I don’t actually think I saw Saved??
I must have… but I don’t remember it…
I remember Chasing Liberty VIVIDLY
I also vividly remember My Date with the President’s Daughter on Disney Channel which is the same premise??
Valerie: yeah i get those two confused a lot
in my mind’s eye
Heather: is that the one with katie holmes? she made a chasing liberty too.
Valerie: like often i remember that movie as the brother from boy meets world and mandy moore
which i believe mushes the two
Heather: FIRST DAUGHTER
Drew: FIRST DAUGHTER
omg
Heather: there are THREE chasing liberties!
Valerie: oh wow
Drew: That is so wild
Valerie: it’s like that one summer there were a hundred movies starring somehow both ashton kutcher and justin timberlake about trying to be friends with benefits with mila kunis
Drew: I somehow thought they were all one movie called My Date with the President’s Daughter starring Mandy Moore, Katie Holmes, and the guy from BMW
See if more people were gay we could’ve just had one movie where Katie Holmes was the president’s daughter and Mandy Moore was the soft butch who steals her heart
Heather: SOLD

Shakedown Gayme Night!

Every year the the senior staff gets together in person for our annual retreat, affectionately known as “Shakedown” — where we plot any major changes ahead or new systems for the site, along with assess how we are doing so far and have leadership training. Of course part of being in person is also enjoying each other’s company. We weren’t going to let a little social distancing get in the way of some old fashioned team bonding — and thus in such, “Autostraddle Gayme Night!” was born!

Sarah coordinated the night for us using the House Party app, and we had so much fun together we wanted to let you in on some of it:

Pictionary! Starring a flame! A veil! A halo!

Team Uno! And more Pictionary! This time a chew toy and a sunbather! And then… some game called Chips and Guac that Carmen is 100% is just Cards Against Humanity.

MOMMI –> MOM

Riese: what if your mom is gay
Heather: lol i thought you were legit asking me that! and i was like “trust me, she is disturbingly straight”
Riese: i think all movies are gay
my mom is!
Heather: i know!
Riese: so maybe she had an agenda
Valerie: what if your mom thought you were an independent human by age 8 and you had to rent your own movies
Riese: you know????
valerie what freedom!!!!
wow i envy
Carmen: (I’m not kidding that Drew was not alive when we had a Blockbuster)
Heather: your mom’s agenda paid off beyond her wildest lesbian imaginings!
Riese: i know, she’s pretty thrilled
remember you guys plotted a lesbian sitcom with my mom
and i was like STOP HANGING OUT WITH MY MOM
Heather: valerie your mom picked the oddest things to police you on! buffy? no. v.c. andrews? sure why not!
Valerie: it’s true
Heather: i love your mom
she commented to chide me on something the other day and it delighted me
Riese: my mom had a great time
!!!!!
she did??
that’s cute
Heather: yes it was a thrill!
Riese: awwww
Heather: she told me not to say “you guys” because it’s not inclusive and she included an article for reference!
Valerie: !
Riese: omg mom
i just said HI YOU GUYS in another channel before coming here
Carmen: omg that is so cute
Riese: carmen can attest
she’s in the channel
Carmen: riese did in fact do that
Riese: REBEL
TO THE CORE
Heather: maureen is not going to care for that language!
Riese: wowowow
who knows what’s next for her
Heather: i’m excited to find out

What We’ve Been Reading

Heather: Loving Sports When They Don’t Love You Back: Dilemmas of the Modern Fan by Jessica Luther and Kavitha Davidson

Malic: Racecraft: The Soul of Inequality in American Life by Barbara J. Fields and Karen E. Fields

Carolyn: How To Write An Autobiographical Novel: Essays by Alexander Chee

Dani Janae: Anodyne by Khadijah Queen

Casey: Moon of the Crusted Snow by Waubgeshig Rice and Mr. Fox by Helen Oyeyemi

Vanessa: The Assassination of Fred Hampton: How the FBI and the Chicago Police Murdered a Black Panther by Jeffrey Haas and The Incendiaries by R.O. Kwon

Riese: Ace: What Asexuality Reveals About Desire, Society and the Meaning of Sex, by Angela Chen

Sarah: Babyji, by Abha Dawesar

Kamala: Luster by Raven Leilani and Disability Visibility edited by Alice Wong

Rene: Revolutionary Suicide by Huey P. Newton and The Sympathizer by Viet Thanh Nguyen

Nicole: Doughnut Economics: 7 Ways to Think Like a 21st Century Economist by Kate Raworth

Laneia: If I Can Cook/You Know God Can by Ntozake Shange and Planets: A Very Short Introduction by David A. Rothery

Ari: Northanger Abbey by Jane Austen

Drew: I’ve Got a Time Bomb by Sybil Lamb

Carmen: The Selected Works of Audre Lorde by Audre Lorde (Roxane Gay, Editor)

ONE GREAT MUG

Welcome to “One Great Mug” — in which a staff member will share a photo of a mug they love. A story about the arbiter of caffeine and/or warmth that gets them through the day.

The Nespresso machine my then girlfriend got me for Hanukkah in 2012 is absolutely on its last legs — it leaks chronically and basically rejects 20% of capsules I submit for processing — but I’m still committed to its daily use. From the jump with this guy one thing was clear — it would not be accepting normal size mugs due to lack of space for said mug, unless I kinda held the mug myself tilted under the spout at a precise angle. Cumbersome at best. Then, yet another then-girlfriend got me a stack of espresso cups from world market. The perfect gift! I was delighted. In the ensuing time period however, every single one of them has broken. I recently retired the metal contraption that stood on the counter and carried said stack of mugs, because who are we kidding, you know? It’s just an empty meaningless structure now. The last mug broke recently and I was like well fuck. But then I remembered that it was not in fact the last mug. I remembered that there was another mug from the set that I’d retired just bc its handle had broken. What a luxurious time for me to have been deterred by its lack of handle, to have stowed it away. In the cool clear light of day I realized that I shouldn’t judge this mug for what it lacks — a handle — but for what remains: it is small enough to fit under the Nespresso spout. I give it another 2-3 months before it will probably dissolve in my hands. — Riese

Ari Monts Retro-Reading

This month we said goodbye to the one the only Ari Monts! Hopefully it’s not the last time you’ll ever see them in these parts, but look, here are some faves from the past million years.

via 9 Lesbian Ways to Wear a Bandana

When Real Life’s Getting More Like Fiction Each Day (February 2016) – “When in everyday life I felt like the only one of my friends who wasn’t “getting it” — everyone had boyfriends and started wearing makeup and grasping fashion in a way I still can’t — the RENT fandom helped me realize that there were other teenagers who were confused and asking questions. The internet gave confused teenagers like me a place to talk through things and a space away from adults to ask questions — even if we didn’t have the answers. In real life, adults had all the answers, but online we figured them out together. I was figuring out who I wanted to be: queer, a writer, a thinker, empathetic.”

Bottoms Up: About Last Night (February 2017) – “I could never be too sure what would come next — pain or penetration — and I stopped trying to know. I let myself just be, and it was glorious.”

The Sports That Made You Gay, Ranked (September 2018) – “Everyone on everyone’s rugby team in college is gay and everyone knows it. It’s so gay no one’s even made a movie about it yet because the movie would just be called GAY: Every Rugby Story.”

A Love Letter to Butch People (That Is Accidentally About My Dad) (June 2018) – “These hard butches have taught me how to be hard as a femme, non-binary, human too. From them, I have learned to demand that the world see me the way I want to be seen. More often than not, I’m seen as a straight girl doing femininity a little bit wrong; but when they love my facial hair, and my unruly stomach, and my changing and confusing relationship with gender, I love those things and I can leave home feeling like a diamond; hard and beautiful and dangerous.”

The Top 5 Worst Songs I’ve Had Sex To (June 2017) – “The lesson it seems is this: take off your overalls before you attempt to go down on someone.”

NIECY NASH DONE WENT AND GOT GAY MARRIED (August 2020) – “I know this was just published but also for some reason I read it like 10 times the week it came out, it just made me so happy!”

We Cry With Charleston: How I’m Healing as a Black Queer Christian (June 2015) – “Now more than ever, I think it’s important to say alabanza to those who were slain, to lift their names up in prayer and to remind those of us still living that Black lives do matter — they’ve always mattered and will always matter.”

THIS WEEK ON SHELLI’S PHONE CONTACTS

Heather:

laneia, may i blurb drew’s movie for the newsletter?
this has nothing to do with that nanny screenshot i just shared; drew does not have nanny energy in any way.
Laneia: !!!
yes!
Shelli: I was a lesbian nanny for four years
Heather: !
shelli, you really gotta write a memoir
Shelli: I did make out with my ex in the house here and there but the family was French and basically encouraged it and gave me wine every night
Heather: omg
or a novel!
Shelli: I have a whole Instagram from when i was a nanny because I was the BEST and took that kid all over the city
https://instagram.com/thehipsternanny?igshid=9atc770q6ik4
Heather: yeah there’s no doubt in my mind you were the best nanny ever, that kid probably still tells the stories
and your ex tbh
Shelli: Lol the kid also called me Serena Williams for a month because he refused to believe I wasn’t her
Heather: omg
lololol
look at you!

View this post on Instagram

A post shared by The Hipster Nanny (@thehipsternanny) on Jan 10, 2018 at 7:35pm PST

i wonder where this kid got this shark backpack
Shelli: IT WAS MEEEEEEE
Heather: !
SHELLI
this is the coolest dang backpack!
also i have never been this many places in my life!
Shelli: Lol and the little girl I nannied loves Beyoncé and used the love on top video as part of her show and tell on her first day back at school one year lolololol
Heather: rock climbing, pizza, museums, boats, parks, parks, bacon, coffee shops
Shelli: Lol now he can talk and he facetimes me randomly
Sarah:: “but the family was French and basically encouraged it and gave me wine every night” omg ideal
Heather: “I think that’s Iron Man.” https://www.instagram.com/p/5aaujKvR7q/
Shelli: They are great we still hang out like often lol except now they don’t have to pay me
Heather: well this has been a delight on my day
Shelli: !!!!! MY CHILDRENNNNN
Laneia: 🥺
Heather: do you, um, remember where you got that shark backpack?
Shelli: I’m going to take this as a sign because i told this girl I’m talking to that I want to go half with her on a baby earlier today
Heather: omg!
Shelli: It was from this now defunct Chicago kids store
Heather: wait let’s read your tarotscope first
what’s your sign
Shelli:I won’t be having a baby anytime soon but I will keep her dm to check in in 5 years
TAURUS TAURUS PISCES
Heather: but not her phone number!
OMG SHELLI
You are building something important, but as you well know, sometimes the biggest projects take consistent effort and long-term planning to execute properly.
Shelli: SHES SAVED IN MY PHONE ACTUALLY!! N
Heather: OH DANG
Be patient with yourself, and don’t rush this process — with care, attention, and a solid team behind you, you’re well on your way to success.
well!
wait did you have to bump someone out to let her in?
Shelli: I think this means marry her and have a baby
Heather: do you have a set limit of like five numbers
i think so too
Shelli: Lol YES I DID
Heather: ahahahaha!!!!!!
Shelli: I’m literally writing a piece all about my phone stuff to turn in on Sunday lololol
Heather: i cannot wait
Shelli: And 20 numbers MAX
100 following on ig max and 150 on Twitter max!

Six Posts Rachel Can’t Believe You Motherf*ckers Didn’t Read Last Month

“Antebellum” Forgot That Black Women Can’t Save the World From Fascism, We Only Must Save Ourselves, by Dani

Like Dani, I wait all year for the chance to binge horror movies in October, and like Dani, I was curious about what Janelle Monáe’s Antebellum would hold, so I couldn’t wait to read her take. Even if you aren’t in exactly the same place on those things, I can’t recommend this piece enough; Dani is a thoughtful and incisive reviewer, but more than that brings such smart and decisive thinking about what horror should be trying to do and how it works as a genre – required reading for this season!

Fashioned with New Language: A Conversation on Bisexual & Trans Shared Experience & Solidarity, a roundtable featuring KaeLyn Rich, Xoài Pham, Heron Greenesmith and me

I’m excited and proud of everything I got the chance to curate for Bi+ Week (and a few more pieces that didn’t get totally finished in time for the week itself but will hopefully pub soon!) but am maybe most grateful I got to do this, a conversation I’ve been hungry to get to learn from for a long time!

Queer Arabs Taking Up Space: An Interview With Zaina Arafat, by Sarah Yanni

It’s rare that LGBTQ books get the level of nuance and complexity in reading and criticism that they deserve, often being siloed into conversations about ‘representation’ in ways that books by and about straight people rarely are, and this trend is more common when books are by or about QTPOC – I’m so sustained by the brilliant, expansive critical questions and the generous, complex answers in this gem of an interview.

Shoog McDaniel is Using Boomerang to Capture Rural Queers in Quarantine, by Lauren Parker

We have lost and are losing so much, in many ways, during this seemingly endless pandemic; one thing I know I personally haven’t even had the bandwidth to process is the ways that queer folks create culture and art in community with each other, and how much harder that is to do in endless isolation. I’m grateful that Shoog McDaniel is continuing to create work with others that documents our continued lives, community and specific selfhoods during this time, and grateful we get to read about the process and significance of it!

In the Face of Government Neglect, Trans Leaders Spearhead Housing Solutions, by Bailey

The grief and rage about the ways we’re all (but some of us more than others) being failed by our governments right now is so huge; it’s buoying, though, to focus on the ways in which our own community is caring for itself, and how marginalized folks so often come together to prioritize each other just as hard as the world and capitalism push us to worship the individual. As Bailey writes, “Whilst governments fail, Black trans organizers excel.”

In “SFSX,” Tina Horn Builds a Purity-Obsessed Sci-Fi Vision of our Dystopian Present, by James Factora

I love Tina’s work so much and have been meaning for a while to pick up a copy of SFSX; reading this made it an urgent priority. This is so much smart and necessary thinking about the meeting point of fascism and purity culture and how sex workers take on the cultural work of resisting both to everyone’s benefit; even if you don’t think you’re interested in graphic novels, this is an indispensable read.

Blink Three Times If You Love Will Schuster

context: we were having a conversation about how to define tv shows that “nobody loves more than me.”

Natalie: “i just keep thinking of shows that i still watch while everybody else is like “really you still watch that??”
so grey’s anatomy?
Riese: yes
definitely
Drew: Yeah I will claim The Bisexual
Riese: Drew has invalidated a lot of my choices probably
Drew: We can discuss and split
Riese: although like me, Carmen also tends to be watching a thing to the death sometimes too
past its prime
Heather: valerie too
valerie watches things in secret until the very end
except [redacted]
Riese: hahahaha
Heather: i feel like if any of us ever got kidnapped and had to do a code for we’re not okay, we’d just have to call each other and do a tv falsehood, we know so much about each other’s deep tv feelings.
if i ever get kidnapped i’ll call Riese and be like “i’m just watching the 100 and remembering how much i love [redacted] fandom”
Riese: hahahahahahaha
i’ll be like “i can’t tear myself away from wynonna earp”
Heather: Natalie will be like “oh i’m back on my sci-fi bullshit, just marathoning doctor who”
“i lovvvve space and fantasy tropes!”
Valerie: (i still watch [redacted] heather)
(it’s just a secret)
i have a weird amount of productive energy this week that i have been unable to pivot into anything but doing things around my apartment like dragging bookcases around and organizing books by color
Heather: organizing books by color is complete chaos!
Valerie: I wanted a rainbow
i have regrets but i’m too deep now
Heather: Is that about the 100 or your books?
Valerie: also my tv watching strategy
lolol
Heather: lol
Valerie: I don’t even know if pink goes between red and orange or with purple but we’re figuring it out as we go
we being me
i am alone
this week has been incredibly weird. can i blame the new moon? is that a thing?
Heather: new moon in virgo!
it arrived at 7am with organizing and purifying energy and for putting down roots!
Valerie: my entire apartment, is apparently the answer
Heather: apparently that is the right move!
Natalie: that’d be another sign that i was being kidnapped or held hostage, heather.
“girl, you know i’m just tired. the new moon is rising and it’s just thrown me entirely out of wack.”
Heather: hhahahahahaha!!!!
“hopefully my planets and stars and zodiac bits and bobs stop whirly twirly messing with emotions!”

XOXO

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