Welcome to Saturday Morning Cartoons, a segment where artists take turns delighting you with their whimsy, facts and punchlines on Saturday mornings! Grease Bats, today’s comic, is created by Archie!

Guess what! Archie’s five-year collection of Grease Bats is now a book you can hold IN THE PHYSICAL WORLD, with your HANDS, that you can read OFFLINE, that you can TUCK UNDER YOUR BED AT NIGHT! Snag a copy for you and a pal!

Panel 1: Ari and Gwen are both wearing masks. Gwen is midsentence: "...the birds, flowers, you and all our friends, champagne, W.A.P. and my magic wand!" Panel 2: Gwen: "And THAT concludes my gratitude list!" Panel 3: Gwen: "Ok, Ari... now it's your turn!" Panel 4: Ari: "Me? Grateful? Okay. Um... uh.." Panel 5: Ari: "I'm grateful I only cried for two hours today instead of my normal four-to-six." Gwen: "Ari!!"
Panel 1: Gwen: "I KNEW you were depressed! That's why I made us take this walk - so you could appreciate the SUN!" Panel 2: Ari: "Okay... first of all, the entire world is in a collective depression right now. Of COURSE I'm depressed." Panel 3: Gwen: "WHAT'S THE POINT OF PODDING IF I CAN'T FIX YOUR UNHAPPINESS!?" Panel 4: Ari: "Oof, pal. This isn't new for me. You're going to have to accept you can't cure this." Panel 5: Ari: "Although you ARE curing me of my Vitamin D deficiency! I'm grateful for that!" Gwen: I'm adding you being grateful for Vitamin D to my gratitude list!"