The Autostraddle Insider: Issue 63, November 2019

Letter From Your Editors

Hello tiny evergreen trees!

Look, it’s us! The writers and other content creators of this FINE WEBSITE.

It’s a bizarre twist of televised timing that The L Word is coming back just as the decade closes out, bringing us back to where we started from, hereĀ  ā€” brought together once upon a time by stories that felt compelling to us in a way we weren’t all quite ready to name but needed, just the same, to talk about. Or maybe what we really needed was a space to begin telling our own. Recently in Slack, Heather shared a Marie Claire article from 2009 about Drew Barrymore and Ellen Page and it was wild to remember a time when a not-out lesbian and her straight best friend eyeing each other flirtatiously was worthy of no less than 16 articles and a spot on our “2009 Icons” list. Now we have over 150 TV shows with queer characters that aired in 2019, part ofĀ  a massive database listing hundreds of shows that tried to show us who we are. “Settling” always felt like an intrinsic element of the queer experience ā€” settling for subtext, for friends who didn’t get it, magazines that forgot us, for holding back, for loneliness. Many of us still do experience those settlements small and large, because all those feelings are possible for all humans, not just queer ones, and we’re still more likely to experience them. But I think this decade has also inspired us all to at least hope for more, or to know that more is possible. Even though I never wanted to be a website that worshipped (or even spoke to) straight celebrities or recapped straight TV shows with queer subtext, there was still only so much out there. The way Ellen Page looked at Drew Barrymore qualified as “enough” of something, but now she can look that way at someone who looks right back at her and wants to keep doing it forever. We’ve always wanted more out of our stories but also more voices telling them and more for the tellers, not having to settle for less because of the community we are for and from. That’s what our campaign was about ā€” and we’re getting to the place where you’ll see even more of that “more” in action.

Like (mhm yep this again) more A+ content! We’ve got big plans and ideas to revamp the program in 2020 so you should stick around. ALSO YOU CAN GET 20% OFF EVERYTHING IN THE AUTOSTRADDLE STORE ALL WEEKEND WITH CODE LUV2BUY20. AND you can read 34 Excerpts from Kaelyn’s Quarter-Life Crisis Livejournal and also get a ticket to the hottest event in town.

Love,

Riese / Laneia / Rachel / Heather / Carmen

Top 10 Most Popular Posts From October

These posts were hella popular last month.

1. 8 Lightly Murderous Mythological Ladies to Dress as This Halloween, by Siobhan
2. 82 Queer TV Shows to Stream on Netflix, by Riese & the TV Team
3. Queer Horoscopes for October 2019: What Scares You Teaches You What’s Safe, by Corina
4. Our Luggage: A Non-Binary Ode to The Good Place’s Janet, by Austen
5. Katie McGrath Is the Bisexual Lawyer of Your Murder Vibe Dreams on “Secret Bridesmaids’ Business,” by Valerie
6. Pop Culture Fix: The “Birds of Prey” Trailer is Full of Lesbians, Bisexuals, Emancipations and Explosion, by Heather Hogan
7. Every “L Word” Sex Scene, Ranked, by Riese
8. Pop Culture Fix: What the Heck Is Happening With Batwoman and Alex Danvers?, by Heather
9. 6 Easy Steps for Fucking Your Friends Without Fucking Up the Friendship, by Vanessa
10. Reimagining Intimacy: Queer People on Touch and Closeness Outside Romance and Sex, by Christina Tesoro

Nine Important Excerpts From Editorial Conversations

Rachel: lmao when did we do this?
Riese: i did!
Rachel: i was researching for best of decade lists and was looking through this for like 10 minutes before realizing it was… ours
Riese: hahahaha
Rachel: this is so funny
Riese: we opened it up to voting!
Rachel: also true to form there is an argument about lesbianism in the comments
Riese: lolol did you like it
were you like ā€˜wow what a great listā€™
or were you like ā€˜who are these moronsā€™
Rachel: I was like ‘how convenient, finally something siloed out about lesbians’
Riese: 100 Best Lesbian Fiction and Memoir Books
Rachel: and then was like oh
Riese: hahahaha
Rachel: that’s why

Laneia: Email subject line: Anniversary of IKEA Founder, Fascist Sympathizer, Ingvar Kamprad's DeathRachel: oh wow i’m sorry I didn’t get us a card
Heather: oh wow it really swerved there at the end with “starred kirkus review”

Riese:

Lauren: Fuck him in the chat
Or like on his peeper
Carly: Never say peeper to me again

Laneia: Body Language
Vanessa: alex marzano-lesnevich wrote one of my favorite books in the world and is an incredible human being, 10/10 recommend everything they ever write!!!!
also if youā€™re into murders, memoirs, and extremely successful murder/memoir blend structures, i recommend their book The Fact Of A Body! with a very hefty trigger warning.
Valerie: did someone say murder
Vanessa: it is very much not my usual jam!
i had to read the book with strict rules surrounding it
only during the day, only when it was light outside, stop 30 minutes before it got dark, try to read it in public so i wasnā€™t alone
but it was extremely worth it and i truly think it is a literary TRIUMPH
Valerie: thatā€™s the kind of book i would read at midnight by candlelight alone in my room
Adrian: ā€œQUEER IDENTITIES ARE A DAISY CHAIN OF BECOMING.” I am VERKLEMPT.

Heather: i would like to make a list called like ten times lesbian and bisexual tv characters stomped on menā€™s heads in 2019

Heather: there’s this moment when you know tv writers are pandering to you, specifically, and, in my case, it’s when they have a lesbian character say “let’s go to dollywood.”

Rachel: hey, just an unfortunate heads up that I still don’t have [a draft pertaining to ghosting] – I followed up again today but it’s possible that piece is not destined for success or perhaps even publication on our website
Carmen: Rachel… are you saying that the author… in fact… ghosted you???
Rachel: it would be a real power move if she did
Carmen: I almost just spit-laughed my yogurt. Way to start today on a high note! Thank you Rachel
Rachel: i’m glad i could provide at least this for us
Heather: have you considered that it might be a performance piece?
Rachel: what if I PDF’d our email exchange and just put that in the body of the post
Heather: now you’re talking

Heather: what in the hell’s bells, did slack just reboot itself and add a bunch of rich text options
Laneia: I WATCHED A WEBINAR ABOUT THIS
Heather: laneia i love you

Malic: Just needed to share this very gay stock photo from REI’s latest email alert:

Adrian: In case it wasnā€™t gay enough, I thought purple hair was my ex for a full beat WOW

Heather: good morning, just want to give a suuuper quick call out to dr. carmen phillips, who named her feature image about lena waithe and alana mayo’s wedding “lena-broke-my-heart.jpg” thinking probably that no one would ever notice, but i did because i had to save it to my laptop to tweet it.
Carmen: HAHAHAHHAHA No Regrets

Valerie: oh lord don’t get in the habit of looking at people’s image file names šŸ˜³
Vanessa: Carmen I have to tell you something
And that is that after I did a deep dive on my current dateā€™s IG last night I discovered that 3 years ago she attended a Jewish lesbian wedding with Lena Waithe and they danced the horah together
One day I will ask her about it but weā€™re not close enough yet where itā€™s appropriate to admit how far into her insta archives I went
But I had to let you know.

Best Laid Plan(ner)s

Every month a different writer will give you a sneak peak into their notebook organization situation. This month Vanessa’s giving you a tour of her (extremely pink and perfect) planner.

Prepare Yourself, Lena Winks

Carmen: EXCUSE ME GOODBYE

BIG QUEEN SHIT!!!!!!!!!!!!! šŸ‘‘
I wasn’t ready. I was. NOT. READY.
Lena popped out from her shoulder and I fell off out my chair.
“This is the gayest post ever” followed by MA’s laugh??????

Dani Janae: I am…bereft
They look so good together
Carmen: Dani I knew you were going to join me in this!!
I was like: Dani and Shelli will see me on this
Dani Janae: Lol yes just got off work and ready for dyke shit
How do they both just have the most beautiful smiles
Christina Tucker: DID I just start playing that VERY loudly in my NEW office where I am on literally the fourth day of working here? Yes.
Was it worth it? ALSO YES
Carmen: CHRISTINA YOU ARE A HERO
Carmen: I found the official full video!! (Prepare yourself, Lena winks)

Natalie: wow.
Carmen: RIGHT???!?Ā Al(aina) is there a dream planet where you headline SundayFunday with this extremely thirsty and relevant to my interests content?
Just a mild suggestion, not meant as a directive! Ok love you bye
Al(aina): yeah obvi
Carmen: Thank you all for seeing me in this moment
Al(aina): just this link 12 times
Natalie: lol
Carmen: At the end just write “Carmen approved it; it’s fine”
Dani Janae: Iā€™m ready to be a video vixen

What Weā€™ve Been Reading

Casey: Rebent Sinner by Ivan Coyote and The Hard Tomorrow by Eleanor Davis

Carolyn: The Romanovs: 1613ā€“1918 by Simon Sebag Montefiore because Iā€™m fun at parties and In the Dream House: A Memoir by Carmen Maria Machado

Kayla: All This Could Be Yours by Jami Attenberg

Malic: Witches, Sluts and Feminists by Kristen J. Sollee

Valerie Anne: The Psychology of Time Travel by Kate Mascarenhas

Drew: Grand Union by Zadie Smith

Bailey: Red Skin, White Masks by Glen Sean Coulthard

Natalie: Music to My Years: A Mixtape Memoir of Growing Up and Standing Up by Cristela Alonzo

Himani: A Life of One’s Own by Marion Milner

Abeni: Females by Andrea Long Chu and Sing, Unburied, Sing by Jesmyn Ward

Meg: The Priory of the Orange Tree by Samantha Shannon

Sarah: Hunger by Roxane Gay

Vanessa: In the Dream House by Carmen Maria Machado

Carmen: A Song for You: My Life with Whitney Houston by Robyn Crawford and Sing, Unburied, Sing by Jesmyn Ward

Heather: The Priory of the Orange Tree by Samantha Shannon

Al(aina): Blackpentecostal Breath: The Aesthetics of Possibility by Ashon T. Crawley and The Hundreds by Lauren Berlant and Kathleen Stewart

Laneia: A Primer for Forgetting by Lewis Hyde and The Priory of the Orange Tree by Samantha Shannon

The Queerbait Debate, Round One

Heather: due to either a death wish or a play for major traffic to kick off our week of the l word’s ad buy on our website, i am creating a list of the most egregious queer-baits of all time. below is the list i have assembled and i would like to know if you think i am missing anyone of if there are people on here who shouldn’t be. you will see perhaps that annalise keating is represented twice and that may simply be my own desires talking WHO CAN SAY. please thread any thoughts!
Tegan and Michaela, HTGAWM
Emma and Regina, Once Upon a Time
Rizzoli and Isles, Rizzoli & Isles
Kara and Lena, Supergirl
Myka and HG, Warehouse 13
Mellie and Olivia, Scandal
Rachel and Quinn, Glee
Watson and Moriarty, Elementary
Spencer and Aria, PLL
Emily and JJ, Criminal Minds
Peggy and Angie, Agent Carter
Skye and Simmons, Agents of Shield
Bonnie and Annalise, HTGAWM
Janeway and Seven, Star Trek
Amy and Karma, Faking It
Buffy and Faith, Buffy
Alex and Olivia, SVU
Glenda and Elpheba, Wicked
Laurel and Nyssa, Arrow
Cara and Kahlan, Legend of the Seeker
Betty and Gladys, Bomb Girls
Beca and Chloe, Pitch Perfect
Daenerys and Missandei, Game of Thrones
Valerie: wow this list hurt my feelings
Natalie: that list is pretty painful
Riese: betty and veronica, riverdale
does it count as queerbaiting if a character is queer? i feel like amy and karma wouldnā€™t count because amy was queer, it was just that their relationship was a tease
Valerie: i think queerbaiting is just teasing a queer relationship without following through, i don’t think it matters if the characters are queer or not
Riese: GRACE AND FRANKIE
Heather: OMG YES
i think we should include queer characters
Carmen: I really feel like I have intellectual questions about queerbaiting
Riese: ok
Carmen : And they will make you unhappy
Riese: i think one can be queer
Heather: and i will add all of these because i agree
Riese: but the other one canā€™t be
i think
Valerie: right yes
that makes sense
Riese: or like if they are, itā€™s not explicit
Valerie: because otherwise it’s just shipping haha
Riese: yes!
totally thatā€™s the explanation i was seeking but couldnā€™t find
in my own head
Valerie: i gotchu
Riese: love ur head valerie
Carmen: I’m serious about trying to understand a line between queerbaiting and legitimate tension creation!
Or just… fans shipping?
Heather: FIIIINE I’LL TAKE OFF ANNALISE AND TEGAN :disappointed: :disappointed: :disappointed: :disappointed: :disappointed:
Riese: hahahahahaa
Carmen: Like I wouldn’t agree with everyone on the list
HAHAHAHAH HEATHER CAUGHT ME
Heather: I’M KEEPING ANNALISE AND BONNIE AND I AM RIGHT ABOUT THAT
Valerie: you can’t give a character a line like “supergirl might be national city’s hero, but you’re my hero kara” when that’s literally a line iris used for the flash/barry in their WEDDING VOWS and be like “lol silly shippers they’re just friends”
for example
Carmen: (My questions are still my questions; but if Annalise and Tegan are taken off the list I will sustain my official objection for the record.)
Right yes Valerie! Like I think Lena/Supergirl and Swan Queen, and Rizzles make perfect sense in my brain. But Amy and Karma or Annalise and Tegan throw me off.
Natalie: they went on a date this week
Heather: i took them off but I DID NOT TAKE THEM OUT OF MY HEART
Carmen: But seriously, how are we defining queer baiting?
Is a question maybe no one wants to answer
Heather: natalie if you say it is officially a date that is enough for me
Carmen: Because it is in fact painful
Heather: natalie one time defined it like
if this was a dude and a lady, the show would have put them together and you know it
Riese: i think xena
Carmen: Xena yes
Riese: not to be the ā€œwhat about xena” person
but you know
i think xena is def part of the queerbaiting prototype
Heather: yes
i think it’s like also if my dad watches it and come away thinking it’s just a couple of good friends, like if it’s not explicit, but gays are like IT’S CANON, that’s queerbaiting
Riese: cagney and lacey
Carmen: And like… Christina and Meredith don’t feel like queer baiting to me personally?
There’s a famous scene where Callie asks Christina why no one thinks that her and Meredith are a couple. And Christina says: “Because we screw boys like whores on tequilla” and then Meredith says “And when they leave us we try to kill ourselves”
Which IS AWFUL, YES.
But also: I never thought of them as anything other than platonic.
Natalie: me either
Heather: okay no problem! i’ll take ’em off!
Carmen: Also later Meredith ponders if she’s bisexual for Christina and never knew it and Callie asks her: “Have you ever day dreamed about her vagina” and Meredith says “No” and then Callie says “You’re not”
Natalie: Meredith and Helm?
Carmen: ^^^ Also awful. A lot of Shonda lines are awful out of context
Unrequinted love?
Is that the same thing?
OK I AM REALLY SEEING MYSELF OUT BECAUSE I AM BEING A PARTY POOPER AND I LOVE THIS LIST, BYE
Riese: Oh who are the ones from Star Trek discovery
Heather: no it’s good to ask these questions
Valerie: for the record my dad doesn’t understand why Kara isn’t dating “that Luthor girl” yet
Heather: it’s going to make people mad, might as well be sure we cover our anger bases first
Riese: Yeah Iā€™m honestly thrilled by this intense discussion of the rules of queerbaiting
This is manna from heaven for me!

MEET A WRITER’S PET!

Get to know some of our writer’s pets. This month, in honor of going home for the holigays and the childhoodĀ nostalgia it sometimes inspires, we’re switching things up and meeting the stuffed animal of our Associate Editor, Carmen. Everyone say hello to Winnie the Pooh! Ā 

Whatā€™s your favorite food?

That’s gotta be honey! I think everyone knows it’s honey. We don’t have to pretend it’s not honey. Did I say honey enough? I don’t know! But just to be safe, the answer is: H O N E Y

Wait, do you have some honey? Were you asking the question so we could share honey? I’d really love to share honey. I love sharing!! I love it almost as much as honey, but not quite as much because honey is HONEY.

Whatā€™s your most perfect sleeping scenario?

When Carmen was in college, she let me snuggle right up underneath her chin every night. She’d rest her head on my head, hold me really in her arms, and stroke my fur until we both fell asleep.That was the best!! Now we don’t sleep as close, but she keeps really safe in this one corner of bedroom so that I can still see her everyday. To tell you the truth, sometimes I really do miss her bed. But I understand. And it least it’s great to always have my nearby in case I get scared (I sometimes get scared! The world is big and scary and mean! But Carmen and I, we have each other. And that helps.)

If you could have a home on the beach, near mountains, or in a lush forest, which would you pick and why?

Well the 100 Acre Woods are a forest, so I guess forests are great? But I’ve always lived indoors. When Carmen was really little, she would take her with me to summer camp? I liked that! We ate smores and drank milkshakes from the canteen and sang Broadway songs in our pjs and I got to make friends with all the other stuffed animals from the other girls. Is the forest something like that?

Would you say youā€™ve seen a ghost?

OH GOODNESS NO!!! That would be so scary! Why would you evenĀ SAY THAT!?!?!?!? My heart is beating fast and… I… I… I do not like this. Can we talk about something else now?

Which famous or fictional animal do you look up to and why?

You know who else I love? My friend, Piglet. Piglet is the best. Sometimes we both go visit our friend Eeorye. Sometimes Eeorye is sad and he says “oh, bother” but you know what? It’s ok to be sad sometimes. That doesn’t mean you shouldn’t have friends! Friends can sit with you and then you aren’t alone. No one deserves to be alone.

What do you wish you could say to your Best Friend, Carmen?

I would tell her how proud I am of her! Carmen and I, we’ve been together so long! It’s really hard to remember me without her, or her without me. And sometimes that was great, but also sometimes it was really hard and sad. Sometimes we’d be scared, but we always did it together. Lately Carmen’s been doing so well! I can’t hardly believe it. I know we don’t get to talk and hang out as much anymore now that she’s big. Sometimes I miss her, and I really do wonder if I did something wrong. But then I tell myself, “Pooh it was your job to make sure she made it to getting big! You did that. It’s ok. It’s a job well done.”

I hope Carmen knows that she did a job well done, too.

SLACKERS

I was going to put together a chart of our most-used custom holigay emoji for you but I have run out of time! I’ll do it in December! In the meantime, please enjoy my own personal favorite thing that happened in Slack this month. ā€” Heather

Christmas Movies Retro-Reading

Definitely the hardest part of being a lesbian is that we do not have enough Christmas movies of our own you know? But we make do.

“Life-Size 2” Is a Holigay Miracle: a Bisexual Made-for-TV Christmas Movie, by Heather (2018) – ā€œUnto you is born this day on the channel of Freeform, on the streaming platform of Hulu, a bisexual savior, which isĀ Life-Size 2.ā€

16 Gay Holiday TV Episodes You Can Stream Right Now, by Carmen (2018) – “13 Christmas and three Thanksgiving episodes full of lesbians in matching two-piece pajamas, bisexuals in endearing sweaters, and a trans woman dressed up as a literal Holigay Angel.”

Hereā€™s Your Christmas Movie Drinking Game, by Riese (2014) – Still valid!!!

“Let It Snow” Review: I BELIEVE IN LOVE AND I BELIEVE IN CHRISTMAS, by Drew (2019) – This is like from November so it’s not technically retro-reading but if you missed it, don’t worry there’s still time!

This Holigay Flowchart Will Tell You Which Christmas Movie You Really Want to Watch, by Heather (2018) – If you land on “Love Actually” you took a wrong turn SORRY!!!

meanwhile in the #betteformayor channel…

Riese: Dawn Denbo would like to point out the VERY presumptuous title of this channel
Heather: is bananas we don’t have a dawn debo emoji
also dawn, no offense, but bette is better for seo
Sarah: ITā€™S GOING DOWN
Heather:

Riese: dawn is offended
Heather: lol i love that you’re roleplaying her like d&d
“dawn casts thunderclap!”
Riese: dawn casts live rats!
Heather: ahahahaha

[…..]

Riese: hey guys donā€™t know if u saw but dawn denboā€™s getting some pretty big-name endorsements. might wanna check in with your candidates to see if they have a snowballā€™s chance in hell
dawn denbo is technically losing but these endorsements are HUGE
like technically sheā€™s basically in last place but still i think you should all just watch out in general
Drew Gregory: I was really hoping it would come down to Bette v Dawn and am disappointed that our voters’ lack this sense of humor
Riese: nobody is more disappointed than dawn denbo
but sheā€™s not giving up
Carmen: 100% i thought this was ending with a Bette vs Dawn showdown! What is wrong with our voters?

OK. WOW RIESE WOW

Riese: thatā€™s right
interesting that someone who knows bette so wellā€¦ā€¦
is voting for dawn denbo???
Carmen: Riese you could probably turn this around if you could get the To L and Back crowd mobilized, just saying. You’re the only one with an entire L Word related platform at your disposal.
Riese: i think we have like 35 followers on twitter
but i could fire up the ā€™gram
good point
Carmen: NOTICE FOR EVERYONE NOT DAWN DENBO: If your campaign comes to a sad and early end, we Welcome All Castaways on Team Bette Porter!!
Consider including her in your concession speeches. We would be generous in return.
Riese: NOTICE FOR EVERYONE COOL IN THIS CHANNEL: Dawn Denbo is on a yacht of her own
NOTICE FOR EVERYONE: Dawn Denbo owns surveymonkey
Sarah: lmao i love how hard dawn is campaigning!!
Valerie: Oh wow okay then TIME TO TURN IT UP
Riese: dawn denbo is curious why her endorsement from elizabeth warren hasnā€™t been RTā€™ed by elizabeth warren??
Valerie: because elizabeth warren knows that a queer witch is a better option
Riese: Dawn Denbo would like to report that Elizabeth Warren calls her every day before breakfast, lunch and dinner
and also sometimes after dinner
Valerie: Elizabeth Warren calls Willow for custom spells at random. The occasional hex.
Riese: Dawn Denbo would actually like everybody to meet her Lover Elizabeth Warren
Carmen: Dawn Denbo might be buying her endorsements, but here at Campaign Porter headquarters, we are earning them the old fashioned way:

Riese: OH WOW
ok
ok fine
Valerie: hmph!

[….]

Carmen: WOW RIESE WOW

This is next level trolling :rolling_on_the_floor_laughing
Valerie: I was tempted to be like TWO CAN PLAY AT THAT GAME but then decided it was too risky haha
Sarah: lolol
i love this drama
Riese: oh yeah big endorsement yesterday from Autostraddle dot com for Dawn Denbo!!
i wasnā€™t expecting it but when it happened i was like, oh wow, totally
Sarah: i read that as dawn denboi and it wasnā€™t wrong!
Valerie: that’s it, i’m getting earpers involved
Riese: OMG
sorry that response indicated that dawn denbo felt threatened
she does not
dawn has been endorsed by Wyatt Earp
Valerie: :joy:
Riese: just wanted to point out that Dawn Denboā€™s name was spelled wrong on the graphics
therefore if she looses that is probably why and she should be given another chance to win
because of fairness
Valerie: feeling the HEAT denbo?!
Riese: calm
cool as a cucumber

Ten Posts Rachel Can’t Believe You Motherf*ckers Didn’t Read Last Month

Usually this section includes only five posts, BUT we’ve published so much cool stuff this month and many by new team members that we’d love for you to get to know, and also you’re maybe traveling and want some longreads soon. Check out these ten pieces and come back and let me know what you think!

A Fly Girl’s Guide to Squeezing Life Out of Fall’s Last Days, by Shelli

Come for the indispensable life advice, stay for these pictures of Shelli! šŸ„µ

The Communist Pleasure Activism That’s Helping Erase Medical Debt in Appalachia, by Lauren

This is so mindblowingly cool and I’m so grateful we got to be a home for this reporting about the really inspiring and deeply gay organizing in this post ā€” and that this will be only one part of the ongoing series Dispatches from the Country Culture War! Not to brag, but Mariame Kaba shared this post, so, yes, bragging!

Is the Resurgence of Feminist Bookstores in the South a Moment or a Movement?, by Meagan

I LOVED editing this piece and also LOVE how much great and really in-depth writing we have about the American South this month! I had no idea about the deep roots of feminist bookstores in the South and if you didn’t either, grab a seat and take a look.

On Netflixā€™s ā€œUnbelievable” and the Culture of Serial Rapists, by Dani

It’s unreal that this was one of Dani’s first posts for us ā€” it’s a blend of reporting, research, criticism, and personal writing that’s indescribably difficult to pull off and that Dani does with grace and gravity as she explores a truly challenging topic.

What Katie Hillā€™s Resignation Means for Young Queer People in Political Life, by Casey

I knew that the photos shared of Katie Hill and her subsequent resignation was a big deal, but I didn’t know the full story about why, or how to talk about it with others ā€” if you felt at all similar, I’d really recommend reading this super solid and shareable piece by Casey.

Getting Stonewalled at Stone Mountain, by Alyssa

This brief, powerful piece broke my heart and I’m grateful for it; you will be, I think, too.

When Youā€™re Black and Queer but Masquerading as Straight While Listening to the Music of White Lesbians, by Jehan

I could hear this post out loud from the very first line, and it opened up someone else’s experience to me while resonating deeply ā€” it’s a great way to get to know Jehan’s work for our site!

Reine #1: Gay Cat Aunties, by Ren

Hello have you seen that we have a BRAND NEW CARTOONIST on our website? Ren is here and just could not be any more relevant to your interests.

Writing Queer Ugandan Futures into the Present, by Kirabo

It’s rare that I get the pleasure of totally forgetting that I’m editing something as I do a first pass and just losing myself in the work – but with this essay, I did, and I feel totally transformed by reading it. I’m really grateful for how it has helped me understand new things about time and place and story, and I would really love it if you could make time to read it soon.

Gentrification Inside the Club and Out: How Stigma and Respectability Are Impacting the Sex Industry, by Janis

I was SO excited when Janis pitched this and what she’s written is more than I could ever have hoped for; an analysis researched, reported and personal about the shifting landscape of space and money both in real neighborhoods and online, and how the rapid changes of gentrification are making survival difficult in more complicated ways than many expect for sex workers in both.

Social Media Spotlight

For a gaggle of gays who claim consistently to believe love is a lie, y’all sure to love love ā€” proven, once again this month, by the fact that our most enagged with post on Twitter (byĀ far) (like by more even than that queerbait list that was performance art on queerbaiting) was the announcement of Roxane Gay and Debbie Millman’s engagement.

https://twitter.com/noirlibrary/status/1195117561005985796

https://twitter.com/anastasiaselby/status/1194879024180408322

The Dog’s Heart Grew Three Sizes That Day

Carmen: if we do a pll rewatch this winter I am SO IN
I will figure out how to make us a pdf of hh’s recaps so that we don’t have to go to afterellen for anything at all.
Heather: actually you have to watch through season four which includes the greatest scene in the history of television
greater than when the dog ate dan’s heart on one tree hill
Laneia: ok deal, through season 4
i donā€™t know dan but that scene sounds like a lot
Heather: it’s only 30 seconds long and it will change your life

Laneia: do i, i mean, do i really want to watch this
like knowing everything you know about me
and what time of day it is
and what day of the week
Sarah: hahahhaa
this clip
hahahahhahahhahaa
iā€™m cackling
Laneia: did the blonde guy WARN HIM about a dog eating his heart??? why is he so smug and knowing????
Carmen: OMG THEY TOOK PLL OFF OF NETFLIX. I am mortified. Ok, go on about your day.
Heather: i will summarize it for you. dan is an asshole and he needs a heart transplant. his son, chad michael murray, has come to the hospital to be there for the transplant, even though dan is an asshole. the doctor with the heart in the cooler, he trips. the heart falls to the floor. some random dog in the emergency room runs over and pick it up and runs off with it. and dan makes this face šŸ˜ and chad michel murry makes the face joey makes as dr. drake ramorey on friends.
Laneia: THATā€™S HIS NAME
these faces do not match these actions at all
not even a small amount
Heather: yes! he’s the one who married all the women on that show irl.
sophia bush, hilarie burton, bethany joy lenz, etc.
hilarie burton, you will remember, is responsible for the sexiest lesbian laugh on television in an episode of grey’s anatomy carmen will not let me talk about.
Sarah: hilarie burton is so hot
Laneia: damn, i will not remember. i donā€™t think i watch enough tv to be in this job
Carmen: we don’t talk about her :rage:
Heather: carmen look away for just one second okay

Sarah: iā€™ve actually seen this.
Heather: in this clip, arizona is like “well thanks for working at this hospital with me, the flirting has been fun” and hilarie burton laughs this husky “lol yeah we’re not gonna fuck right now in this thunderstorm” laugh that has chilled me to my bones for years (edited)
Sarah: oh my lorddddddddddddddddd the lesbian tension
ā€œyou are allowed to lose a little bit of controlā€
also the laugh
Laneia: well fuck
Heather: okay well back to work! xoxo.
I’M SORRY CARMEN
Sarah: carmen hasnā€™t stopped typing for 5 minutes
Carmen: I hope that one night was worth ruining Callie Torres’ life. That’s all I’m saying. I HOPE IT WAS WORTH IT ARIZONA.
Sarah: hahahhaha
Carmen: šŸ˜˜
Sarah: i love the fervor and intensity of this feeling!
Laneia: wait is her name really arizona
Sarah: yes, back to work! thank you everyone!!!!!!! for these clips that now live in my heart!
lmao yes
Laneia: thatā€™s not like a fun name people just
omg
Sarah: ā€œcali and arizonaā€
Carmen: Yes, but she’s named after the battleship. Not the state.
Laneia: that is
Heather: good man in a storm
Sarah: ā€œseveral people are typingā€
Carmen: OMG WE CAN’T DO THIS NOW BUT OH LANEIA ONE DAY WE SHALL
Laneia: that is the dumbest thing i have ever heard
Sarah: hahahhaha
Heather: oh no
Carmen: She’s named after the USS Arizona, which was the ship bombed on Pearl Harbor
Her grandfather died on that ship.
Laneia: why didnā€™t they name her after the grandfather instead of the steel coffin he died in!
was his name Dead Bug
good grief
Heather: oh no
Laneia: sorry probably if her name was delaware i would be like that is fine i do not hate the state of delaware
Carmen: lollllll
Heather: hahahaha!
Sarah: omg
Carmen: Laneia you are the one person who is allowed to hate Arizona Robbins’ name. I shall grant you this. You have damn well earned it.
Laneia: thank you carmen
if we ever do a list of fictional women named after states, i promise not to fight you on ranking her #1
Carmen: that’s true love
Laneia: tennessee from schittā€™s creek was a total piece of shit, so

XOXO

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Riese

Riese is the 43-year-old Co-Founder of Autostraddle.com as well as an award-winning writer, video-maker, LGBTQ+ Marketing consultant and aspiring cyber-performance artist who grew up in Michigan, lost her mind in New York and now lives in Los Angeles. Her work has appeared in nine books, magazines including Marie Claire and Curve, and all over the web including Nylon, Queerty, Nerve, Bitch, Emily Books and Jezebel. She had a very popular personal blog once upon a time, and then she recapped The L Word, and then she had the idea to make this place, and now here we all are! In 2016, she was nominated for a GLAAD Award for Outstanding Digital Journalism. She's Jewish and has a cute dog named Carol. Follow her on twitter and instagram.

Riese has written 3300 articles for us.

6 Comments

  2. I’m so glad Valerie had the exact convo I’d hope would come up when y’all tried to make the Supergirl queerbaiting such a short blurb!!!

  4. This was hilarious! Also I’m so excited to see people reading Priory of the Orange Tree. I loved that book so much! Did you all enjoy it?

  5. In the Dream House was incredible! I just finished reading it this week and my heart is feeling so many things.

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