Questions from the A+ Inbox were taking up such an enormous portion of the A+ Insider that we started dedicating an entire post to them instead! This A+ feature now exchanges bi-monthly with our column, Into the A+ Advice Box. We think this will be a lot of fun for the whole family. We’ve included as many questions as we can. We love you and your hair looks fantastic today!

MERCH, BUSINESS AND TECHNICAL CONCERNS

Hello! I think I’ve read some inkling of this, but I am super interested in reading more about how you manage Autostraddle on the business end of things. I also volunteer for a queer organization that works remotely across the country using slack, etc. I would love to learn more about how you’ve made that work and developed Autostraddle without an office with everyone in it!

Riese: Gimme some super-specific questions and I’ll do my best to answer ‘em! I’ll tell you what though, Slack is definitely not an ideal way to do work! I think that our lives and our work and our relationships with each other and our mental health and everything would be 100x better if we all were able to work in the same place at the same time a lot more often than we do!

Hi! So, I kinda really would love to know how to delete my old comments from posts!! I left some comments in the past that for one reason or another I’d much rather delete from existence, but I haven’t been able to find a way to do this. If you could tell me how I can delete a comment on a post, I’d really really really really appreciate it! :)

Sarah: Send me an email with links to your comments and I’ll delete them for you. sarah@autostraddle.com <3

Have you all thought about allowing users to edit or delete comments? Sometimes I realize I’ve said something dumb after I press “submit” and it would be great to have a way to delete those comments!

Cee: This is not a default functionality of WordPress, the CMS that drives our site. The last time I looked into this the plugins which allowed this were really buggy or slowed the site down considerably, and we do not have the budget to build this from scratch. I may look into it again soon though, maybe something else has been built in the meantime.

In the last 2 weeks I’ve had trouble opening your pages on my iPad. I’ve also been mostly unable to comment without getting a 404 error message. Is this me or does it have anything to do with any site adjustments that you may be making. (PS: I access you with your web address, I don’t use Facebook or another social media)

Cee: Unfortunately I think it’s just you! Try clearing your cookies and cache or perhaps trying another browser like Chrome.

What does it mean when I try to click on an article and it says (approximately) “404 BAD error cookie too large gateway” ??

Cee: Perhaps a cookie is corrupt? Try deleting your cookies and visiting the site again. That might fix it. If not, try holding the shift button down while reloading.

Dear Autostraddle, merch questions come up a lot this article, and it seems like a lot of your answers are about how some of your super cool designs don’t sell as well as you’d hoped. I just want to let you know that I’d be happy to answer a survey about what sort of products I would be most or least likely to buy from you. One thing that I know is that I have SO MANY t-shirts, so I’m not inclined to buy t-shirts right now, as much as I’d like to support you buy buying things.

Sarah: Ooo, this is very good to know and definitely something we’ve wanted to do before! One thing we’re always curious about is actually the color of shirts — it seems like people prefer tees that are a neutral color which saddens me because I’d like to cover the world in neon and bright hues! But yes, a merch survey sounds extra yummy — we’ll keep it on the growing list of things I’d love to do in the near future!

Hello wonderful people, I tried to click through to Archie’s Patreon in their author bio, but the link is broken (I think it should be https://www.patreon.com/archiebongiovanni). Thanks for all the work y’all do!

Carmen: Thank you, wonderful person! I’ve adjusted the link so it works correctly.

Thank you thank you thank you for your writing, thinking, caring, perseverance, bravery, and grace!!

ALL-CONSUMING NEEDS TO SHARE

I have an All Consuming Need to share how ANNOYING it is that there are no socialized rules for how queer friendships/situationships/relationships progress!! I appreciate that we get to create our own rules and we end up becoming more developed, authentic people as a result… BUT sometimes I do fucking wish I had gotten to practice wlw socializing in high school as a norm, etc. Then maybe I’d have more of a roadmap to follow with these Feelings I have for my queer friend with the glorious red hair who kissed me last Pride! I guess we’ll have to make do with communication and vulnerability! Wah, it’s hard though! ( Thanks for all you do to guide the way!! I got my A+ stickers and pins in the mail yesterday AND I LOVE THEM THEY GAVE ME THE GAY STRENGTH TO TELL HER I HAD FEELINGS. DO NOT KNOW WHAT WILL HAPPEN NEXT. XOXOXO!)

Sarah: Oh my god, what did she say when you told her you had feelings? Also completely there with you re: situationships. Woof, amiright? Where’s our guidebook? Can we skip the communication and vulnerability part? No … we cannot. It’s hard work, this relationship thing.

Carmen: It’s my forever belief that we as queer people are destined to be awkward through all of adulthood because we didn’t get to practice socalizing in the same way our straight peers did in Middle School and High School. (Then again straight people are definitely NOT OK and at least we know how to talk out our feelings, so even if it’s awful and sweat-inducing, perhaps we did get the better end of the deal? Who’s to say?)

Laneia: Holding you in my heart.

Rachel: This is such a real feeling! And can be a really stressful one. I know you’re doing your best and am lighting a candle for you!

Drew might be especially interested in this, especially since it’s a DVD!

Drew: I give Janus and the Criterion Collection a hard time for their lack of women directors, but they deserve all the credit for the gorgeous restoration and release of Desert Hearts. It’s one of my all-time favorites, and I think it’s actually pretty underrated despite its reputation as a classic. I hope people have re-discovered it the last few years and continue to do so! And I hope Criterion continues to increase their amount of releases directed by women, especially queer women!

Have y’all seen the Society6 collection on The L Word?? I love they’re all lovely but I think I love the “gay juice” one the most.

Sarah: Oh these are cute! Always sipping gay juice, v relevant.

Check out Cara & Poppy Delevingne’s house tour for Architectural Digest! It’s a beautiful house, but they’re just hilarious. It’s not the gayest video, but Cara’s in it so that counts right?

Riese: I have a few notes:

1. “I’m both a top and a bottom bunker” — Cara Delevingne
2. Nothing in Cara’s outfit — a patterned tank top, track pants and plaid shirt — matches anything else in Cara’s outfit, which is gay
3. Overall decorating scheme reminds me of Rawberri
4. Cara went along with the general aesthetic of the entire house but then decorated her own bedroom / WING as if it was in a completely different house. I respect
5. “I just wanted a really long bed because I have really long feet” — Cara Delevingne
6. “AHH MY VAGINA” – Cara Delevingne, riding down the pole they’ve installed in the room where they “watch movies”
7. when they put their doormats next to each other and it said CP, I thought it was a tribute to Carmen Phillips, but then Cara switched them and now it says PC, which I guess is a tribute to um, the feminist internet
8. they have a pool they HAVEN’T USED YET
   a
   pool
   they
   haven’t
   used
   yet
9. if they invited me over I would say, I think, YES

Carmen: As the original “CP” (Carmen Phillips), I approve this message.

Just needed to put this out into the world: Last night, in the year of our lord 2019, I saw BIKINI KILL in concert. I was standing about five people diagonally behind the farthest edge of the mosh pit. This adorable teenage gay stepped on my foot and apologized and stood there hesitantly for a while. Eventually she pointed at the mosh pit and I made space for her. She got stuck again in front of the women next to me and they asked “Are you trying to go to the pit?” And she says, “Yeah, but I’m a little scared.” So she stood there hesitantly for a while, and when she finally started moving again she looked back and we all have her a thumbs up. (I hope she got to crowdsurf, too!)

Rachel: The thumbs up! I feel emotional! I’m so happy you shared this, thank you!

I’ve been catching up with the Waiting to X-hale podcast and I feel like some Autostraddle folks would appreciate it. Here’s what it’s about: A Gen X-themed show with podcast veterans Wynter Mitchell-Rohrbaugh and Karen Tongson (Pop Rocket). W2X revisits the pop culture & social issues that defined Generation X from a (queer) woman-of-color perspective in a way that sheds new light on the pop culture from both then, and now.

Carmen: Whaaaaaat? VERY RELEVANT TO MY INTERESTS! (I’m not quite Gen X, but damn do I love 80s/90s nostalgia from the point of view of queer women of color. This is my catnip! Thank youuuu!)

Stacy London seems to be very much dating a queer woman for the past few months and I had to let someone else know because my heart just was not prepared for my early 2000s crush to come back!

Riese: UM oh my goddess I didn’t even know who this was to be honest but now I’ve been on a JOURNEY and she has a cute butch gf and they have a dog and it looks liek a baby is somehow involved??? I am now following them both on instagram and also I read a very sad article about her spine surgery and her breakup with her boyfriend (GOOD RIDDANCE AMIRITE) in Refinery29? We stan a legend!

I was at lunch at my friend’s house, and their 13-year-old turned to me and asked if I like coffee. I was like “No…” and she nodded to herself and said, “You should get a t-shirt that says ‘I like my men like I like my coffee. I don’t like coffee.'” I felt so seen and I just wanted to share that with y’all.

Carmen: I don’t know them, but I already love this kid.

I just came out to my brother. I think I’m going to throw up. I didn’t plan on coming out, though I think about it each year around National Coming Out Day. But we were having one of our deep conversations about life and it just seemed to be time to share this. When I realized I was queer a few years ago, it was one of the most powerful and impactful experiences of my life — to learn something so important about myself that I didn’t know —and that realization flooded me with joy. It was as if a switch flipped.

I imagined I would tell family if/when I met someone so it wouldn’t be a surprise. It’s possible it wouldn’t be a surprise; it wasn’t to my brother. But lately, I have been thinking that I might want to be more open and try to share, even though it doesn’t come naturally for me. I want to take up space as a queer person and to be visible as a queer person. Maybe it would help someone realize they don’t have to squish themselves into boxes that don’t fit. Maybe it would help someone pay a different kind of attention to issues that face the LGBTQ+ community when they realize it could directly affect someone in their family. And maybe sharing would normalize my reality and help deprogram decades of misunderstanding myself, because while my nerves have calmed in past couple of hours, I am still a little mystified by this thing I said out loud, even as I know it to be true.

I don’t have a question or a request for advice unless you see something glaring that I have missed or mistaken. I suppose it’s just that my first thought was to share this with Autostraddle (who/which has been so helpful and a comfort to me as I figure things out) as I don’t have queer friends to turn to who might understand how you can be happy with who you are and also want to throw up when you share it with someone else and also want to keep it to yourself as if it’s a cherished treasure and also still be confused and figuring things out.

Rachel: Thank you for sharing this with us and for thinking of us as people you want to invite into this process of thinking and understanding yourself and your family/community — I think everything you’re saying about the feelings you had/are having after that conversation makes total sense and is very reasonable as you try to integrate something about yourself into the wider world that has previously only been internal, and your thinking about what that might mean is so beautiful and thoughtful. Thank you <3

Carmen: I AM SO HAPPY FOR YOU!!!!!! Consensual hugs if you are into that sort of thing! High fives if you’re not!

Heather: This is why I love the internet! The first person I came out to was someone online who I’d never met and then when I started coming out in real life, the people I talked to about it were the internet pals I’d made. I’m really excited for you for this next step of your life and so grateful you took the time to share your story with us. Sending you so much love!

OMG Sue Bird is Jewish? Neat :)

Riese: LOVE ANOTHER MEMBER OF THE TRIBE

I just realized that the world now has two queer Emily Dickinson movies, two things about Anne Lister and two versions of Fingersmith. And reboots of The L Word and Tales Of the City. This is some sort of peak lesbian experience that I don’t know what to do with — but I thought you’all might.

Carmen: This fall has been absolutely CRAZY for Television! What a time to be alive!

Heather: It’s unreal and absolutely amazing to me that an entire generation of people are going to grow up knowing Emily Dickinson was queer now!

She said she wanted to take things slowly AND THEN ALMOST FISTED ME. so now what.

Rachel: Did she fist you slowly? Maybe that’s what she meant!

Sarah: I mean… that’s an important part of fisting, so maybe she just meant that she was down with the fisting philosophy of taking it slowly?

I Hope That Carol is Having a Very Happy Doggey Day, Today!

HAVE YOU WRITTEN ABOUT THIS / I NEED INFORMATION/ ARTICLE IDEAS

What was the article/podcast episode that was recommended a while ago by someone RE: advice for being in a long-term relationship and not becoming overly mundane with each other and/or keeping the spark alive? I feel like *maybe* it was Dear Sugar and *maybe* Sarah Sarwar recommended it, but I’m not totally sure about either of those things.

Sarah: Hi! Yes that was me and the podcast is Dear Sugars — great memory! I recommended this as a resource in my response to this ‘Lesbian Bed Death’ roundtable. I’m not sure if it directly addresses keeping the spark alive, but it definitely helped me in understanding why the spark in my relationship had faded out. It was enlightening!

Here are the episodes:

• Sexless Relationships, Part 1: Esther Perel
• Sexless Relationships, Part 2: Esther Perel

So did you all talk about the show Mindhunter yet and I missed it? The lesbianism is heating up in Season Two, and I am so hear for mature, academic lesbian stuff. And crime.

Heather: Valerie Anne sure did and with an amazing headline: “Mindhunter” Makes Murder Boring, But Its Lesbian Love Story Is One for the Ages

Riese: I just wanna say that I LOVED Season Two and want to marry the bartender, she has nice arms that I think she could use to carry me over the threshold of our home, which would have a pool that I would USE.

If you would grace us with a fall dyke fashion line up, specifically boots and sweaters to pair with jeans and black leggings, I would literally be eternally grateful.

Laneia: I, too, would be eternally grateful for this. NOTED !

Drew! What have been your favorite new movies in 2019??

Drew: So far my favorites are Pain and Glory, Adam, Rafiki, Homecoming, Daddy Issues (now on Netflix!), and Us. I also just saw Little Women and I think it’s a fascinating adaptation. I’m really excited for the queer discourse around it.

Have you all seen Apple TV’s new series Dickinson? Wondering if there’s any queer stuff going on.

Heather: I’m definitely going to check it out when it lands on November 1, but my hopes aren’t high. First of all, I could not be more over “[X thing] meets Riverdale” as a series pitch. And second of all, the trailer didn’t seem very gay. However! I cannot recommend anything more highly than Madeleine Olnek’s Wild Nights With Emily.

Have y’all seen Easy Season 3, Episode 3 on Netflix, in which Sophia Bush is gay??? Holy hell I forgot I have a major crush on her. It’s also great to see Jacqeuline Toboni and Kiersey Clemens in their excellent roles. Highly recommend this episode!

Sarah: I have! And then I watched it… three more times? Sophia Bushs’ voice is so ridiculously sexy. Thank you I will watch this again tonight.

Riese: Kayla wrote about the Jo/Chase story in Easy in 2016 and in 2017 but… I don’t see anything on it for s3 so we will look into it!

Hey AS! I found a queer in a new fall tv show! Carol’s Second Act on CBS has a queer character played by a queer actress, Sabrina Jalees! The character is a doctor intern along with the title character. The plot is the main character Carol becoming a doctor after retiring from teaching and she has a daughter played by Ashley Tisdale, who the queer character, Dr. Lexie Gilani, makes a joke about wanting to date. I found this article where the actress talks about the character being casually queer <3

Heather: Ooooh good tip! Thank you!

HOW DO I PROCESS NEW TEGAN AND SARA IF THERE IS NO SONG BY SONG BREAKDOWN FROM AS???????? Help I can’t be alone with my feelings!

Heather: Oh friend, we are here for you.

Riese: We didn’t do a song-by-song breakdown, but Abeni did write a really incredible review!!!! Idk if anybody WANTS to do a song by song breakdown but FTR I would be OPEN TO IT.

You guys, staaaaaaaaaahp! It’s too much! There is too much queer TV! There are too many reviews to read and shows to binge and I can’t keep upppppp!* (*please never stop, this is amazing.)

Heather: I know! Isn’t it wonderful! 😭

Riese: Remember when it was just like, Pretty Little Liars and a two-episode arc on Heroes? We’ve grown so much!

I’m not sure if y’all are watching Sunnyside (it’s real good), but the last episode casually featured a lesbian relationship. One of the main characters was having issues with her wife, don’t worry it gets resolved in the 20 minute sitcom episode. (Carmen)

Carmen: You know, I started Sunnyside and then somewhere along the line I lost track of it. Was it the Dominican student who has a wife? I super hope so! Thank you for letting us know!

Where are all of the L Word fanfics? I don’t see many on AO3.

Heather: You know, there weren’t even a lot of TLW fanfics back when the show aired, mostly I think because the shows and couples that spawn the most fanfics are the ones that don’t explore the gayness well (or bust it up) on-screen. Everyone was having sex with everyone on TLW all the time; there was never any need to fix any of it in writing. (I mean, there was, of course, but not in the way the best fanfics usually do.) It’s also kind of my personal and probably divisive opinion that not many characters from the show were super collectively relatable the way, say, Kara Danvers is or the way we want Sameen Shaw to be.

Can you please run an article about How Safe Is Queer/Lesbian Sex Anyway? I feel like a lot of us queer people are surprisingly uninformed about our STI risk for various sexual activities. I want this on a meta, community-wide level, but also on a personal level — I have a friend who’s new to polyamory; friend’s partner also has a number of casual sex partners of many genders (both friend and friend’s partner are cis women). My friend is stressed about her possible STI risk, and I wish I had better knowledge to help her. Sure, sex with fingers is a risk, but how high a risk? What about oral sex? What about toys? Can we solve all our problems with handwashing/toy sanitation/dental dams?!? (I am aware that we actually solve our problems through good communication, but some STI info for queers engaging in queer, poly sex would be real helpful too.) Thanks Autostraddle!

Rachel: I can look into this! My instinct based on my (non-expert) knowledge is that because there’s so little research on/inclusion of sex between women in current actual research on safer sex, some of the data even in an article like this would have to be educated supposition, but that is still better than nothing!

I feel like I’ve said this before but you know what I’d love? A style thief for the Lumberjanes characters. A style thief for the Witch Boy characters too, tbh! Please help me dress like Noelle Stevenson and Molly Ostertag characters!!!!

Laneia: YIKES this is a cute idea!!!!!

Heather: Oh wow and if we do that we gotta toss in She-Ra too! At least Catra!

Anyone watching Mr. Robot? The lesbian character introduced in Season Two is still a pretty major character in the series, and had a hot sex dream with Roberta Colindrez (!) in the last episode. Just a heads up!!

Rachel: I haven’t watched but am loving this representation of the Having Sex Dreams about Roberta Colindrez community.

Carmen:: Young MA was also on Mr. Robot this year! That show keeps revolving around all my interests.

I miss Monday Roundtables. Are those coming back?!

Rachel: Thank you for this feedback! We don’t have a plan to revisit the whole series right now because we had a sense (maybe a misinformed one!) that the general readership was getting a tad burned out on the roundtable format, especially since we had a few other roundtable-style series and posts, but we have been doing some limited-run roundtable miniseries on different topics (a few new ones coming up soon!).

One thing I always feel is missing from this site are queer athletes. They are giving some of the best couple content out there ( ex/ No Filter missed Kelley O’Hara dressing as Leonardo Dicaprio’s Romeo with her girlfriend). We have the epic upcoming Krashlyn wedding. WNBA, NWSL, its everywhere and it is SOLID queer content.

Laneia: I super agree with you on this. Just hard super agree. Yes. WHERE ARE MY SPORTS QUEERS.

Heather: You’re right! I also agree with you!

Riese: If you see something you think should be included you should send it to our new NoFilterette, Christina [at] autostraddle [dot] com.

I re-upped my A+ membership this month as a graduation present to myself! Thank you all for helping me make it through school.

MISC

Quick question — that KT Tunstall song “Suddenly I See” is gay, right?!? I heard it the other day and was like… this is not heterosexual. I was mildly obsessed with it in 2005 but somehow didn’t realise: A. it was gay or B. I was gay

Rachel: Wow I haven’t thought about the Is KT Tunstall Gay discourse in a long time! Tunstall herself I think does not think of herself or her music as gay, but also, art exists separately from its creator, no? Who is KT Tunstall, really, to say whether “Suddenly I See” is gay. Also you are definitely gay, you’re right, so I think you’re onto something here.

On Buffy the Vampire Slayer — why didn’t Xander take a single kickboxing or karate class in seven years? Seriously.

Laneia: Because Xander represents the Everyman, and the Everyman believes that any skills or knowledge that are actually important or necessary would innately belong to him already, as all other things innately belong to him. He is not compelled to grow or better himself as he is already perfect and complete.

Carol left Netflix September 20th :(

Heather: I know! I was very upset! I kept saying how upset I was! And Stacy kept saying, “Babe, we have it on Blu-Ray!” But I was still very upset! I want it at my fingertips in on all my devices in perpituity!

Soo…… what’s the deal with Jessica Williams?

Carmen: …. Do you mean is she funny and smart and cute? Yes. Do you mean is she queer? Sadly I have no idea. But we can dream!

I started watching the new iteration of Great British Bake-Off and it feels like an alternate universe — still two hosts, one blonde, one brunette, one gay, one inexplicably mostly-straight, one older lady judge who likes booze in her baked goods — except in this world Paul Hollywood is in charge, and people live and die by his handshakes?? What kind of Star Trek: Discovery fresh hell is this, anyway? Please send interdimensional help!

Sarah: I do not like this version of GBB. I miss Mel and Sue.

Do you have any superstitions?

Rachel: If a salt shaker spills or I spill some salt, I throw some over my left shoulder to stop it from being bad luck; if I see three birds on a telephone wire I’ll make a wish; I pick up heads-up pennies because they’re good luck; if your ear rings someone is talking about you; when the clasp of your necklace twists to it touches the pendant it means someone is thinking about you; lately my Virgin Mary pendants keep breaking while I’m wearing them, which isn’t necessarily officially bad luck but really feels like it is.

Carmen: I’m Latina, so this list could take a while. But the biggest ones are: I cross myself whenever I drive in front of a cemetery to honor the spirits and also to make sure they don’t like jump my bones; I always put a little salt over my shoulder when I’m cooking; my mom and I always end our conversations with the same phrase that’s like our secret version of I Love You just in case it’s the last time. I also don’t believe in blowing out candles, because I think it blows out the wish or intention of which the candle was set. I’ll either let the burn out naturally or I’ll use a metal spoon to snuff them. It goes on from there.

Laneia: I scratch the roof of my car when I go under a yellow light, but I’m not sure why or if that’s actually a superstition?

Why are there so few comments these days? I used to live for the as comment section

Laneia: Maybe the internet is sleepy.

Riese: I think a few things — 1. A lot of conversation about posts has moved to social media, 2. In the beginning, AS was most of our readers’ sole source of queer communtiy, they didn’t have anywhere else to talk about queer things or friends to talk to about queer things, so they did all their queer talk on AS. like our holigay open threads used to be like 500 comments b/c nobody had anybody else to vent to about their tragically homophobic family, but now they have a girlfriend or a queer buddy to text and maybe their family is less homophobic! I mean literally ALL of my friends are queer and I still seek solace and community in AS comment sections and deem them The Best, as do many commenters, but I think that’s some of it and also 3. PHONES. Everybody’s reading on their phones now!! It’s harder to comment on phones and your passwords aren’t all programmed in like they are on your computer. And until we disabled AMP last week to experiment and see if google really is going to penalize us in search results for doing so, everybody viewing the site on their phones via google or a social media link were directed to the AMP page, which doesn’t have comments on it.

YAAAYYY Ocean Vuong got a Macarthur Fellowship!!!

Carmen: I’m so ecstatic!!! I first discovered Ocean only just this year, when Lex suggested one of his quotes for our 4th of July post: 12 Quotes About Freedom from Queer and Trans People of Color to Meditate on This Independence Day.

Go outside, walk around, see the sky, drink some water

Heather: I did all of those things today, actually! Thank you for the reminder!

Sarah: Yes!!! This reminds me of my favorite Julia Nunes song, Feels Good. In it she says “Drink some water / get some sleep”, and I felt that.

Carmen: This just reminded me to eat my dinner, which is take-out from Jimmy John’s that has been sitting on the counter for the last 45 minutes while I worked. Thank you, friend!

How do I get hair like KStew?

Laneia: An important thing about getting hair like any person is making sure you have the same kind of hair — like thickness, texture, etc. Also, I’ve come to realize that oftentimes, if it’s a blonde person who has the hairstyle that I want, the blonde color is also a crucial element of the style. I’ve requested so so many hairstyles inspired by celebrities, and while the cut was usually right on, it was my brown hair that was unknowingly disappointing me. TO BE CLEAR there’s nothing wrong with brown hair! You just need to note what it is you like about someone else’s hairstyle, because usually you’ll realize that the color is a key component! People with brown hair, like me, can have it all, it’s cool and great, we’re all fine!

So anyway that’s just something to keep in mind, and then you find all the pictures of all the angles and slam your phone down at the stylist’s station and point and say THIS! THIS IS MY VIBE. LET’S GO. And they’ll be like OK YES, LET’S. And then you’ll have that hair!!

I appealed my job to make an exception for Autostraddle through our firewall, and they did! Guess who has two thumbs and is spending her lunch break Vapid Fluffing! THIS GIRL!

REALLY NICE THINGS YOU TOLD US

Just wanna say a big thanks to Vanessa for her piece on embracing thirst. That piece has inspired me to let a hottie on Tinder know *exactly* what I’m into, ask what she’s into, and start getting us both exactly what we want, Mars-in-Taurus style. Thanks for helping me give myself permission to want EVERYTHING, Vanessa. Keep doing what you do!

Vanessa: OH MY GOD YOU ARE SO WELCOME I AM FILLED WITH JOY FOR YOU AND THIS TINDER HOTTIE. HELL YES TO GIVING YOURSELF PERMISSION TO WANT EVERYTHING!! HELL YES TO MARS IN TAURUS!! TRULY IF MY PERSONAL ESSAYS ENCOURAGE PEOPLE TO GET EXACTLY WHAT THEY DESIRE IN THE REALM OF SEX AND DATING AND LOVE I CAN DIE HAPPY, AMEN. (Sorry for yelling I just feel really excited about this entire situation. XOXO!!!)

I have to say that landing on the Autostraddle page several times a day, and seeing Vanessa smile at me like that, looking sooo hot and summery reclining in that pool, it’s just… gaaah ! Thank you Vanessa ! I’m so happy to own that Lavender Menace t-shirt. I look forward to the Autostraddle store’s Fall Thirst Trap.™

Sarah: I feel the same about Vanessa smiling at me, in or outside of a pool, in the Portland rain or the California sun.

Vanessa: WOW THIS IS SO NICE HI CUTE HUMAN!!! I received this note on a chilly fall Monday morning and let me just say it brightened my whole damn week. Thank you for writing in to say something, I’m truly blushing. You should post a selfie on Instagram in your Lavender Menace t-shirt and tag me (@vanessatakesphotos) so I can say hi and tell you how great you look, ’cause I know you do! HAPPY FALL THIRST TRAP SEASON!!

Laneia you’re the one who made me laugh out loud this week and I love you for it <3

Laneia: THANK YOU I LOVE YOU TOO.

[From 9/23] Hello little box it’s my birthday today which means it must also be Riese’s birthday! Soooo happy birthday to us!

Riese: THANK YOU SO MUCH! IT IS AN HONOR TO SHARE THIS DAY, THE INAUGURAL DAY OF LIBRA SEASON, WITH YOU! and also with Bruce Springsteen and John Coltrane.

Just bought my fourth copy of Girls Resist to give as a birthday gift to a young relative.

KaeLyn: Thank you! Thank you! Thank you! My greatest wish for Girls Resist is that it finds the way into the hands of young people. I can’t wait to hear about the badass stuff your young relatives are already doing or will do soon! I’m so super ready to support Gen Z in the revolution of their generation. They’re already changing our world!

How does Reniece look so good in photos? Is there one person taking these who is really good, or does she have a trick?

Laneia: I think the trick is that she is Reneice.

Reneice: First of all, thank you so much this is the absolute sweetest. Second, it’s a combination of things! Namely having the luck of being born photogenic, genuinely loving myself/the way I look in photos, being very okay with the knowledge that unflattering photos happen, and having close friends that like to take photos! I don’t really have a trick. I just know that seeing a beautiful photo of myself, and having the privilege of being the focus of someone’s attention because they want to capture their perception of my beauty in that moment are both things that bring me a lot of joy. I also take lots of photos. It’s pretty rare that anyone just naturally takes only “good” photos or gets it right on the first try, so we always snap a few.

Big fan of the Young M.A content 🔥🔥🔥 thank you Al(aina) !!!!!! WOWOWOwwwww

Rachel: I have also been so grateful yes wow

You guys are doing great things! Keep it up!

Laneia: Thank you I needed this!!!

Carmen: SAME HERE! I NEEDED IT TOO!

Riese: THANK YOU THANK YOU

Just want to appreciate you all at AS today! Creating little bubbles where we can experiment with and practice and learn about freedom is really freaking HARD as amazing as it is, and seems to require skills they did NOT teach us in school. And you all are so brave and persistent and Autostraddle is such a gift to the rest of us. THANK YOU!! Be gentle with yourselves — you are all heroes :D

Rachel: THANK YOU this is so generous and appreciated and these are all the things I dream of Autostraddle doing successfully, this has made my day!

Laneia: Aaaaahhhhh thank you!!

I’m so excited with the new content coming to Autostraddle! More BIPOC queers, and articles/columns highlighting Southern resistance and centering poor/working class/rural queers. Amazing! I’m so glad I donated to the fundraiser and upped my membership! Keep up the great work!

Carmen: YESSSSSS! First of all, thank you for donating. Second of all, I COULDN’T AGREE MORE!! I love the content that this fall has brought us! Everything you have mentioned, it’s all I’ve wanted for our website and more. I’m so glad it’s here and I can’t wait to see what comes next. (Fun fact: I have a bit of insider’s knowledge on this front, and it’s both exciting and great)

I’d like to send consensual internet hugs to Laneia if needed at this time thank you <3

Laneia: 😭 thank you I do enjoy a hug!

Thank you for adding a career focused column. Really enjoy this new update!

Carmen: Right!?!? I love Tiara DeGuzman’s writing so much! And I LOVE having a different kind of column for us. Really spreading our wings over here.

Heather: I love it too! I have learned so much from only the first few columns already; I’m greedy for the next one to land in my inbox!

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