“Wynonna Earp” Episode 311 & 312 Recap: The Battle’s Done and We Kinda Won

Hello and welcome to my last Wynonna Earp recap of Season Three! I’m not crying, you’re crying! This season has been quite the adventure and I’ve had a great time discussing it with you all. I will say, based on the way it ended, I’m VERY GLAD we already know we’re getting a season four. But we’ll get there! First:

Episode 311, “Daddy Lessons”

We open on Waverly and Nicole looking down at Charlie Fire Service’s dead body, marveling over how you can hardly tell Doc chomped at his jugular, worrying over how the hell they are going to tell Wynonna what happened.

Nicole gets a call from Nedley so she has to go help with evacuation, leaving Waverly to ponder this dilemma on her own for now. Waverly seems a little off so Nicole gives her a wee kiss on her forehead before she leaves. It’s really fucking sweet, y’all.

After Nicole leaves, Waverly places her ringed hand gently on Charlie’s bitten neck, gently, like she put her hand on Mercedes’ face the other day. And much to Waverly’s surprise… he wakes up.

Back at the Homestead, Wynonna yells at the Blood Moon for making it look like High Noon even though it’s the middle of the night. She looks sadly at the photo Dolls left her and apologizes to him because she feels like she’s letting him down. And as she does, a black horse trots by. Maybe it’s a coincidence, since all the animals, humanoid or not, are fleeing town. But maybe, just maybe, it was a little sign from Dolls that she’s on the right track.

Wynonna heads into town and runs into Sheriff Haught and emergency deputy Robin evacuating the town. Wynonna is looking for Waverly since she wasn’t at the BBD, and when she realizes she knows where she is, she mutters about Kevin and speeds off, leaving Nicole wondering who the hell this guy Kevin is.

Wynonna heads into the woods to the general area she knows the stairs to be, and while she still can’t see them, she knows what her sister is doing, and she’s pissed.

Waverly says she feels compelled to climb the stairs, to help people, so Wynonna helps her quell her craving by knocking her the fuck out, putting her in the box in the bed of her truck.

Wynonna goes back into town to talk to Nicole, obviously not telling the Sheriff where she shoved her little sister, otherwise there’s no way Haught would just be sitting criss-cross applesauce on the sidewalk all calm. Wynonna begs Nicole to take Waverly outside the Ghost River Triangle, but a) Sheriff can’t leave Purgatory in a time of crisis and b) as soon as Waverly said “take me back” Haught would have no choice but to oblige because she would do anything Waverly asked her to. (Including, Wynonna discovers, getting a flaming phoenix butt tattoo.)

Their conversation is interrupted when Charlie Fire Services comes meandering down the street, a little dazed and a lot barefoot. Nicole is stammering and Wynonna knows it’s not because of Charlie’s chiseled abs, but before she can get to the bottom of it, she realizes Charlie is the answer to her prayer. She tells Charlie to take Waverly far, far away and also to apologize to Waverly on her behalf because of the whole sisternapping thing.

On their way out of Purgatory, a local couple wander into Shorty’s half-heartedly looking for their dog, and full-heartedly stealing booze. Unfortunately it’s not their pup they hear growling from the shadows, but Doc, who lures them down to the basement and calls Kate to join them.

Doc shows off his new glamour skills and Kate isn’t all that impressed until the strangers bear their necks and then Kate decides to party with her husband for a bit.

At the office formerly known as the BBD, some Revenants find Bobo’s BoxBox and he begs for them to let him out but he’s not the leader of this gang anymore. They think he’s working for Team Earp, so he offers them intel, tells them that the heir doesn’t have Peacemaker anymore, trying to prove he’s on their side. But the Revenants take the keys and the intel and leave Bobo to rot.

Those Revenants take that intel right to Wynonna, suddenly cockier than ever, and poor Wynonna realizes she’s outgunned, outmanned, outnumbered, outplanned. And as a result, she’s going to be fealty.

Wynonna is taken to Bulshar’s arboretum and tied up while Jarvis the Revenant does her hair and reminisces about how his sister married the man he loved.

She tries to reason with him, saying they should work together, that he doesn’t want to be one of Bulshar’s buds, just look at the mindless minions around them. But she’s put in a fancy dress anyway.

Eventually Waverly is let out of her box and goes somewhat willingly with Charlie, and Charlie instinctively gets them to the Gibson Greenhouse. Waverly thinks maybe they were guided here by the fog, but Charlie is walking around like he’s just seen a ghost. Or realized he was a ghost. He is spooked by a stone angel and is generally just acting weird. Sweet Waverly is doing her best to act casual while her sister’s ex-fuck buddy she just raised from the dead weirdly walks around the Greenhouse where she recently almost killed herself at the demon who possessed her mother’s behest.

Charlie ties Waverly up in a way that makes me wonder if he’s ever even tied his shoelaces before. She tries to snap him out of his weird funk by asking him questions about himself but he wants to hear about Nicole instead, which lights Waverly’s face right up.

Waverly says that Nicole is brave, loyal, good. And that she likes Waverly even when she’s not (or feels like she’s not) any of those things. When Waverly turns the question back to Charlie again he admits he doesn’t know much before about a year ago. (Approximately as many days have passed in Purgatory since Baby Alice’s birthday.) While he’s recounting this, Waverly puts a supportive hand on his and they both get to watch a clip of his memory like this is an episode of Black Mirror. It’s tres weird, especially the part where he says he wants to help people almost exactly the same way as Waverly had said it moments before.

In Shorty’s basement, Doc is still coughy and grumpy and hungry and Kate is getting the impression that there’s more going on with him than just new vamp jitters. He’s craving something in particular and he’s craving it bad. So badly, in fact, that he attacks a fire chief to get Charlie’s location. Actually, scratch that, he gets Charlie’s location from the fire chief THEN shoots him. Confusing both Kate and myself. Also hitting Kate with the bullet.

Which is BEYOND RUDE. Sir, I would like to keep Kate around, and I know that a regular bullet can’t kill her, but she might up and leave if you don’t cut the bullshit and be nicer to her!! Hmph.

After they finish trussing her up, the Revenants present Wynonna to Bulshar as their fealty. And at Bulshar’s right hand, dressed in a color that practically glows in this dark and dingy basement, is none other than Mercedes Gardner.

While she’s making drinks, Wynonna asks what the fuck is going on, and Mercedes says that she’s just playing the part of Bulshar’s arm candy as a survival tactic.

But Wynonna is a fighter and calls Mercedes a coward. Mercedes will be a coward or chickenshit or whatever animal-based word Wynonna wants to call her if it means never ending up crawling around her basement bleeding out from the face ever again.

Bulshar announces to the room that he needs a new second in command since Dolls killed his first guy, and Wynonna volunteers as tribute.

She’ll do anything to keep her sister safe, even get on her knees and beg, but when she reaches out to Bulshar to shake on it, he recoils and panics and hisses that Wynonna should be put in a cage.

Charlie has been freaking out in the Greenhouse ever since Waverly touched him with that ring and luckily when he hears a car roll up he snaps out of it long enough to untie Waverly. The two of them get in the world’s worst hiding spot and Charlie is still twitching so Waverly touches him again and Charlie recovers a memory of himself with a young Michelle Gibson in this very Greenhouse. And the truth is revealed: Charlie is Julian, Julian is Charlie.

Waverly immediately thinks about how her mom and Wynonna now share more in common than ever and Charlie is mid-meltdown with the memory overload as his two existences try to take up the same space in his brain when Doc comes busting in. Seeing it’s her favorite vampire, Waverly scoots out to see if she can talk to him, but he craves that sweet, sweet angel dust and doesn’t even care when Waverly tells him that Charlie is Julian, and her father.

Waverly tries to tell Doc that Wynonna loves him but he doesn’t feel love, only hunger. He grabs her and throws her to the ground, and Waverly doesn’t look angry, just sad. Julian takes the ring from her finger and puts it on, and stands up tall, remembering who he really is. He easily tosses Doc across the room and into the angel statue and spreads his wings out wide.

Julian explains that he was just wandering, lost, until he sensed his daughter step out of the Ghost River Triangle, however many days ago Alice was born. Waverly is worried about Doc, but Julian doesn’t care about anyone but her. Because while Charlie was bland and annoying sometimes, Julian is a straight-up self-righteous dick. I don’t care if he’s an angel, I don’t like him. If he really cared about his daughter, he would care about the people she cared about, vampire or not.

Waverly ignores this strange winged man who happened to provide her some DNA and runs to Doc, crying over him, saying they loved the man he was. She kisses his cheek and leaves him there for now.

After Kate has made her way to the fire chief’s walkie talkie to call for help, Nicole takes her back to the Gardner house to patch her up, since she can’t heal as quickly as usual because of the Blood Eclipse.

Kate’s also doing some tarot readings and at first things look bleak, but finally one time she does it and she sees a card she hadn’t seen the first few times: Hope.

And that hope is because Mercedes and Jarvis let Wynonna out of her cage. When Bulshar appears no one moves to follow his orders and Wynonna tells him his time is up.

Bulshar bamfs out but Wynonna hops onto a table and rallies the troops. They’ve been pitted against each other when really they could work together to end this curse that affects all of them. She needs their help, because it’s time for a revolution. The Revenants cheer in support and for the first time in a long time, Wynonna smiles.

In the Greenhouse, Doc wakes up with Waverly’s name on his lips, because it seems while her sister was tasked with taking lives, Waverly was blessed with saving them. Doc sees a sword in the rubble and picks it up while growling Charlie’s name.

The episode ends with Bulshar going to Bobo and asking him if he wants a job. And honestly, Bobo would probably have fought on the side of the first person who let him out of that damn box, and since Jeremy wouldn’t let Robin do it earlier, looks like Bobo is Team Bulshar.

Episode 312, “War Paint”

The official finale episode opens with Wynonna saying the word, “Fucking.”

We’re officially at 10pm, bitches.

Wynonna tells the Revenants that even though she really liked killed them, and actually being the Earp Heir might have been the only thing she was ever good at, she’s willing to go back to being just Wynonna if it means ending this curse together. She has no idea what will happen to any of them once it’s over, but she knows they’ll be free. She buries some ammolite in the ground, the same talisman Bobo tricked baby Waverly into burying once, and pulls Jarvis over the threshold. The truce has officially begun.

Meanwhile Bulshar is back on his shady bullshit, hanging out by the stairs, turning Peacemaker into a sword, you know, the usual stuff. He sticks the sword into the stone steps and a door appears at the top. A Beekeeper goes in but is immediately beheaded, apparently because they weren’t mortal or righteous. So he sends his Beekeepers out to get what he needs to become those things: all of Wynonna’s friends to be out of the way, and Wynonna’s blood.

Waverly shows up at the Homestead just then and Wynonna is one part pissed that Waverly is not out of harm’s way but two parts happy to see her baby girl.

Wynonna tells her that she has an army of Revenants milling around the Homestead, she’s surprised to see Waverly barely bat an eyelash at the news. And it’s because Waverly’s news is weirder: Charlie is Julian and and angel and her father.

The girls head into the barn to talk this out out of earshot of one of the protectors of the Garden of Eden and Wynonna is having a hard time wrapping her head around this, so Waverly does her best to comfort her.

But also has to warn her that Doc is… not okay. She gives her the rundown and all Wynonna can do is laugh at how ridiculous her circumstance is. Her vampire baby daddy tried to kill her friend-with-benefits who also happens to be her mother’s lover and her sister’s father. Also she doesn’t have her magic gun.

They split up then, because Wynonna has to find Doc, and Waverly has to find Nicole.

Nicole is still with Kate, being lightly mocked for giving Kate shit about being so tied up in Doc while also incessantly checking her phone for Waverly updates. But Kate just smiles at her and tells her never to apologize for her heart.

Just then, Beekeepers bust in and the two women spring to action, fighting side by side like they’ve been doing it their whole lives. In the fight, Nicole gets cleaved in the side, but they take them all down anyway. Mercedes, in a classic Mercedes move, busts in just in time to… see the aftermath.

She sees Nicole is bleeding, which Kate says smells like vanilla-dipped donuts, but Nicole insists it’s just a flesh wound and she can walk the TEN MILES to town. Even though surely she drove Kate there in the first place?? Or maybe she just parked really far away? It’s truly unclear why she’s hoofing it, but it’s probably for the best because she passes out after not too long and shadowy figure appears by her side.

Jeremy and Robin have been sciencing, and after Beekeepers charge in but weirdly don’t attack and Vacation Nedley swoops in to save their butts, Jeremy realizes he knows how to keep themselves hidden from Bulshar’s minions.

Wynonna talks to Julian and tries to make sense of everything and she’s about to tell him that his job is to make sure Waverly doesn’t have to turn into a gargoyle when Julian’s spidey senses tingle and he knows Nicole is in danger.

Waverly might have an inkling too because she’s desperately trying to call her girlfriend.

But she’s interrupted by Bobo in her room, coughing up dirt and saying he couldn’t help her now if he wanted to. He does need her help though, and asks her to set him free when the time comes.

Doc has brought Nicole to Wynonna for help, because she is bleeding out on the barn floor and Julian offers to save her and Wynonna tells him he better, because she’s the love of his daughter’s life. He heals her, and it looks like it cost him something, but it seems worth it since Nicole sputters back to life, asking if they’ve won yet.

Doc gives Julian the sword he found in the Greenhouse, apparently cured of his desperate thirst. And while he still has a lot to atone for, I reckon managing to carry Nicole vanilla-dipped-donuts Haught all the way to the Homestead without taking so much as a nibble is a pretty okay start.

With Nedley in his corner, Jeremy seems to science even better than ever, and uses a blender and some ingenuity to create a liquid that will hide anyone wearing it from the Beekeepers.

Julian goes up to Waverly’s room to tell her that Nicole is hurt but okay and is surprised to find Bobo there, and notes he’s lacking free will. Bobo is annoyed with him, telling him that he can’t take credit for the woman Waverly has become all on her own. Julian credits Michelle, which proves he knows nothing. I think they’re both wrong. Waverly is Waverly because of a combination of yes, herself, but also because of Gus, because of Shorty, because of Wynonna.

Julian assures Waverly that Nicole is okay even though Waverly didn’t know Nicole was NOT okay and gives Waverly the ring; he’ll be too weak to fight now.

A war horn sounds and everyone on the Homestead comes outside to see that Bulshar’s army is here and extremely overprepared. They are highly organized and have grenades and machine guns and frankly it feels mean.

But Team Earp is scrappy so they hold their own. Doc goes to the barn to be with Nicole, who at first is wary but he promises not to hurt her so she focuses on the fight and shoots some baddies from her hidey haystack.

It’s a good old-fashioned Western shootout until Bobo grabs Wynonna and throws her down on a stump like he’s going to cut her head off. Bulshar cuts her hand with an axe and motions for his minions to kill her while Waverly does that sisterly scream that cuts me down to my bones.

Julian sees his daughter’s distress and heads out to save Wynonna, which succeeds for a minute until Bobo stabs him but good with his own sword. Waverly watches this happens, and screams, “Dad,” out the window.

Which is really heartbreaking. Ward Earp was barely a father to her; she only knew him until she was six and he was horrible to her if he paid attention to her at all. Shorty was the closest thing to a father figure she had after that, but he’s gone now too. Even her imaginary paternal figure turned out to be Bobo the Revenant. So this was her do-over. This was her chance to have a guaranteed good, theoretically immortal father in her life. But Bobo took that from her, and if you think about it, Bobo kind of had a hand in killing her father and Shorty, too.

Doc stops Bobo from cutting off Wynonna’s head himself, but it’s Waverly who is fed up with Bobo’s bullshit, his back and forth of helping them and hurting them, and decides to do him his favor. She grabs his face, tells him that she wishes he would have found his way back to Robert Svain, and sets him free.

But Bulshar doesn’t care because he already has what he needs, so he heads back to the stairs and burns his stolen tarot cards and stolen blood. Wynonna runs up but the Revenants who were following her disappear. She lunges after Bulshar but he bamfs out again, leaving her on the ground, and her pupils dilate like they did that midnight of her 27th birthday. When Waverly catches up her sister fills her in: the Earp Curse is broken.

Wynonna heads back to the barn to talk to Doc, and Doc says that Charlie Angel Services died to save his daughter, a notion he can relate to. But Wynonna tells him he might not have to because Bulshar broke the Earp Curse so he could be mortal and go into the Garden. Doc pledges to fight by Wynonna’s side, but she can’t trust him so she traps him with a holy water rope and bids him adieu.

Waverly finds Nicole on the porch and she seems so tired. Nicole is sorry about Charlie and holds her girlfriend as close as possible while teetering on a banister.

Waverly says she doesn’t want to lose anyone else she loves today, and then looks at Nicole and says something she’s never said directly to her before: “I really, really love you.”

And listen, I get it. I know 100% why Waverly Earp has never told Nicole she loves her to her face. Look how she grew up. Who do you think ever said “I love you” to her? I feel like it wasn’t a phrase thrown around very liberally, and while Nicole has said it over and over and over again, Waverly had to wait until it meant something. Until it meant everything.

Waverly slips her ring off her finger and onto Nicole’s and Nicole jokes about hating the ring, not having really been asked a question, but Waverly asks without asking, “Is that a yes?”

But Wynonnus Interruptus strikes again and before we even get so much as a kiss, let alone an answer, it’s time to get back to the war at hand. (Which is fair because APOCALYPSE.)

Team Earp makes the kitchen a war room of sorts and Jeremy tells them about the solution he made that will make them invisible to Beekeepers. Wynonna gives them shots and says that theoretically she would be telling them they could leave if they wanted to, and that she’s so afraid of losing this family she built.

But she doesn’t have to ask them if they’ll stay behind or come with because she knows they’ll all say they’re coming. So instead she drugs them all, refusing to risk their lives.

Waverly marches into the woods after her sister, pissed, boasting about how she didn’t drink her roofies, but Waverly’s shot was never drugged. Wynonna says there are two swords, two angel guardians, two sisters. They’re going to do this together.

They press their foreheads together, hoping it’s not for the last time.

Wynonna puts Jeremy’s bug juice all over them and they tip toe like cartoon cats past the Beekeepers, who do indeed to be oblivious to their presence.

They find Bulshar by the stairs, looking hella scaly. Wynonna fights him, and while she does, Waverly sneaks around to the stairs, climbs them, and pulls the sword from the stone. (One hilarious beat here was that Wynonna, still unable to see the stairs, thinks she’s levitating.)

Waverly uses the powers vested in her by the angels to name Wynonna a hero and toss her the sword. Wynonna immediately recognizes it as Peacemaker, and it lights up and glows blue in response.

As Wynonna and Bulshar fight more, Waverly realizes that she can’t climb down from the stairs. Some kind of barrier has appeared and she is trapped.

Wynonna bests Bulshar, though he gets one last bite out of her before he dies. She falls down, seemingly paralyzed, and Waverly can’t get down the stairs to help her, to heal her.

Doc appears just then and latches onto Wynonna’s throat, causing Waverly to scream even more, but then he spits; he was just using his super-sucker to get the venom out of her.

The doors at the top of the stairs open and vines creep out, grabbing Waverly and pulling her in. She begs her sister to give a message to Nicole, to come and get her, to not leave her alone, and despite Wynonna’s last surge of energy she uses to launch herself at the stairs she can finally see, there’s nothing Waverly or her sister can do as she’s pulled beyond the threshold.

As soon as she disappears, a horrible noise resounds, like Earth itself can’t bear to be without Waverly Earp.

Doc looks around and knows what he has to do. He takes off his ammo belt and climbs the stairs, somehow not stopped by the wobbly wall. Is it because he’s already dead? Is it because the stairs actually lead to hell and he’s been there already? Who knows. But Doc is going in for Waverly.

There’s a flash of light and Wynonna finds herself coming to again, with no stairs around her, no sign of her sister, just Doc’s discarded belt, his guns and knife still attached.

Wynonna makes her way back to the Homestead, looking for Nicole, Jeremy and Robin, but all she finds is “VALDEZ” scratched into the wood along the staircase. And I don’t know much about Valdez but I know she’s in the comics and I know I’m excited to see how she fits into things.

Wynonna’s second stop is Shorty’s, finding only Nedley left. He says that Chrissy and everyone else who was left in town is gone too, so Wynonna thinks maybe whatever took Waverly got everyone else, that maybe everyone who was still in Purgatory, except her and Nedley, maybe ended up in this Garden of “Eden” that is starting to sound not-very-paradisey.

They’re not sure entirely what to do, but they do know one thing: they have a family to save.

And the season ends with Nedley saying, and I quote, “Fuck yeah,” and Wynonna smiling that mischievous, ready-to-fuck-things-up smile.

Last week was hard. This year was hard. The past TWO years have been hard. And they’re only getting harder. But we can’t give up. We have to stay strong. And watching Wynonna fight and defeat an old, entitled, sexist white man was very, very satisfying. Watching Waverly Earp come into her powers and demolish the man who has been tormenting her since she was a child was very, very satisfying. Watching the women of this show come together in so many combinations and fight alongside each other and quip and heal and love each other… it was important. It was necessary. And I am sad to lose this particular happy place, but so relieved to know we have another year of mayhem. Rumor has it Rosita will be back (Somehow? Even though the Revenants all disappeared?), Valdez should provide some fun and excitement, and you never know what else this crew will get up to.

I hope you’ve enjoyed this season as much as I have, and that it has provided a much needed escape from the chaos and provided a light in darkness of the world. I know I’ll carry that light with me into the hiatus, and I hope you will, too.

See you in Season Four!