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Welcome to NSFW Sunday!
+ If you’re looking for a quick glance at almost all of the issues surrounding contemporary porn, check out the New Yorker‘s review of Shira Tarrant’s The Pornography Industry: What Everyone Needs to Know, which covers tube sites and MindGeek’s near-monopoly, sex work as work work, the porn wars past and present, Measure B, queer and feminist porn, ethical porn, a litany of sexual practices and more:
“Since the “porn wars” of the seventies and eighties, when feminists campaigned against the expanding pornography industry (and other feminists sided with Hustler to defend it), talking about pornography in terms of mere facts has seemed impossible. The atmosphere of controversy makes it hard to avoid moral positions. Even to suspend judgment may be to take sides. […]
[E]ven as the Internet has made pornography ubiquitous, the industry itself, at least as Tarrant describes it, is in severe decline. […]
Whether you see porn as just another sector disrupted by the Internet or as a still powerful engine of profit-driven exploitation depends on a thornier set of debates that shape how pornography is understood. To talk about porn purely in terms of costs and incentives is not, as Tarrant suggests, neutral. Even to stress the work involved is a political move.”
+ Getting sober can improve your sex life, writes Gigi Engle from personal experience:
“I have always been a big stimulation nipple girl, but I didn’t know how much until I stopped drinking. I can basically come from having my nipples sucked now.
I feel sexual charges in parts of my body I didn’t even know were possible. It turns out I’m very into anal stimulation. I did not know that until I stopped drinking long enough to listen to my asshole.
When you’re not deadening your senses with liquor, incredible things are possible sexually. Your synapses fire on all levels, and that makes for some seriously intense sex.”
+ Sometimes you just have to have a secret relationship. (Because you’re closeted or dealing with biphobia or homophobia or living with your parents and all of the above, not because it’s secret from a partner, okay?) At Rookie, Krista Burton has advice on using queer erasure to your advantage as best you can until you don’t have to any more.
+ A dominatrix reviewed some chatbots and the result is amazing. (Slack gets three out of five ballgags.)
+ Submissive Playground, an online course about submission from Sinclair Sexsmith (Autostraddle‘s View From The Top columnist), is now open for registration!
+ At Oh Joy Sex Toy, Erika Moen reviewed the Leo, a mid-range Vixen but not VixSkin dildo that she calls “a ‘Special Occasion’ dildo for when I’m really needing a good hard fucking that I’ll still be feeling in the morning, y’know?”
+ Why not match your next sex toy to your Halloween costume?
“Many intelligent, well-informed self-described feminists believe sex work should never be decriminalized. In fact, the decriminalization of sex work is perhaps the single most divisive subject within feminism today.
This divide is the result of a moral blind spot on the part of anti-sex work feminists or ‘antis.’ They conflate all sex work unconditionally with rape, trafficking, and patriarchal exploitation. Ultimately, this is based on a (very un-feminist) distrust of the loud and powerful testimony of sex workers themselves, who, as individuals and organizations, have called over and over again for decriminalization to keep us safe from violence, stigma, and exploitation.
I think this comes from an inability of the antis to put themselves in the sparkly 6-inch heels of a sex worker. They can’t imagine what it would be like to wear nothing but a G-string and undulate onstage to a Prince song. They don’t understand the catharsis of a consensual sadomasochistic whipping. And they can’t comprehend how sexual and emotional intimacy can be employed strategically as labor. Just because a challenging job isn’t the right choice for you doesn’t mean it can’t be the right choice for someone else.”
