Letter From Your Editors

Hello!

This month Laneia said we should give her a picture of ourselves playing “our favorite game.” I got a little stressed about not owning a picture of myself playing Scattergories and apparently I was not the only staff member who felt this task was too overwhelming. Is Laneia playing Hide-and-Go-Seek? I don’t know. Who knows anything anymore, you know?

DOES NO ONE ENJOY PLAYING WITH THINGS??
1st Row: Alaina’s Cat, Laneia, Laura M., Carrie, KaeLyn
2nd Row: Stef, Nikki, Heather, Erin, Rachel

WAIT I GET IT, LANEIA IS PLAYING HER FAVORITE RECORD!!!

Anyhow, what a relaxing month we’ve had here, enjoying our safe space surrounded by unicorns, cupcakes and queers JUST KIDDING this month a post we wrote about screwing up earned ourselves a spot on the radar of some of the internet’s worst human beings, including Reddit Reverse Racism Truthers and the fine folks over at neo-conservative racist misogynist Trump-stumping website Brietbart. We got a lot of traffic and also a lot of violent misogynistic threats! We got made fun of a lot! It was neat. Women being harassed on the internet is nothing new, but our radiant effusive lesbianism has served as a kind of force-field against the kind of aggressive trolling regularly suffered by other Ladies of the Internet. That took up a huge chunk of time and really opened our eyeballs Clockwork-Orange style to just how nasty it is out there.

Speaking of our time OH MY GOOD LORD Y’ALL, have you ever worked two full-time jobs at once? That is what I am doing right now, more or less. I’m helping plan the fall A-Camp with Kristin and Sarah — an event we have had less time to plan than anything else we’ve ever planned in the history of planning — and also trying to keep up on my job as Autostraddle boss. I miss writing so bad I could scream. (And have. The other day I woke up, crawled out of bed, and screamed. Just SCREAMED.) I’m so stoked for camp, and also for after-camp, a period of time I have idealized in my mind as containing huge blocks of time for writing things. Listen: I’m gonna finish Installment #1 of Ladykillers soon if it kills me. GET IT? Also there’s these four amazing women I work with who keep everything looking and reading 100 even when I’m off the radar. I hope to have their names emblazoned on pewter spoons with which I can eat my gross Whole 30 Chia Pudding forever. I hope Kaelyn has her baby today!

Autostraddle Plus content, y’all! Have you read Kayla’s incredible recap of Grease? Listened to our gripping podcast about murder? Witnessed Erin’s touching interview with her ex-girlfriend? Has Mey made you cry yet? Well, if not, then get on it! I’m gonna go finish The Business of Art Fix!

Love,

Riese

co-signed by Laneia / Rachel / Yvonne / Heather

Top 10 Most Popular Posts From July 2016

These posts were hella popular last month.

1. Aubrey Plaza is Bisexual, Knows You’re Into Her, Is Cool With It, by Riese Bernard
2. Rebecca Sugar is Bisexual: “Steven Universe” Creator Comes Out at Comic-Con, by Mey Rude
3. Kate McKinnon’s 10 Gayest “Ghostbusters” Gay Moments of Gay, by Kayla Kumari Upadhyaya and Audrey White
4. Style Thief: How to Dress Like Dr. Jillian Holtzmann, by Ali Osworth
5. Actress Stephanie Beatriz is Bisexual, Blesses Us All, by Mey Rude
6. Look, All The Women in Ghostbusters Are Gay — Deal With It, by Kayla Kumari Upadhyaya
7. What We Mean When We Say “Femme”: A Roundtable, edited by Cecelia Kyoko
8. BREAKING: At Last, Kristen Stewart Calls Alicia Cargile Her “Girlfriend’ In a Major Magazine, by Stef Schwartz
9. Top 10 Most Sexually Prolific Lesbians and Bisexuals of Old Hollywood, by Riese Bernard
10. “Life Is Strange” Is Finally Here For Everyone! by Sarah dufrau

We accidentally wished G her birthday a day early b/c Rachel didn’t know there were 31 days in August

Nine Important Excerpts From Editorial Conversations

ed note: for two of the convos included herein you will need to know that “ASS” is an abbreviation referring to an astrology-related post Mey is putting together.

Heather: random house wants me to interview ruby tandoh over email now and i am so disappointed. interviewing small time celebrity queer women on the phone is my spiritual gift.
Rachel: heather you should tell them that they are discriminating against you as a person with carpal tunnel
Laneia: heather have you told them about your spiritual gift
i mean maybe if they just knew
Heather: that’s true, i didn’t truly reveal my nature to them
Rachel: you should send them your jasika interview
and ask if that’s what they want
because if so
you should get to talk to ruby tandoh on the phone
Laneia: also tell them you have a southern accent
ruby will love it
Heather: my boss rachel says you should read this interview and think about what you really want and my boss laneia says you should honor my spiritual gifts, so.
Rachel: i bet ruby wants to honor your spiritual gifts
Heather: i’m sure she does. she wants all queer women to fulfill their full and true potential on this earth.
that should be my first question: do you want all queer women to fulfill their true potential? and then the next question is just “okay, call me.”
Rachel: we could make them a flowchart
do you want to deny queer women’s exercise of their spiritual gifts > no? > call heather

Kaelyn: i did my ASS stuff. i just really wanted to type out that i “did my ASS stuff.” i’ll show myself out.
Audrey: Mey where is the ASS folder? I can’t find it anywhere probably bc I am a fool today.
Ashley: also got my ASS together
Alaina: also Mey what picture did you choose for my ASS?
Riese: this is an important question on so many levels

Heather: someone told me on twitter today that i have — and they were not joking — “sane privilege.”
Riese: !!!
Laneia: stop
Riese: that’s funny
a funny thing to say to you
Heather: “saneism” is another thing they accused me of
Rachel: wouldn’t saneism be marginalization of sane people?
….just
in terms of semantics

Stef: Rpattz/kstew truthers are my favourite
Also my phone keeps trying to correct truthers to triggers
Alaina: i’m pretty triggered by the implication that they’re a couple, so it’s not completely off
Stef: Maybe triggers refers to how fka twigs feels about all of this

Riese: i am glad that all the PLL fans on twitter have been dedicated to informing us that PLL kills lots of characters
Heather: :face_with_rolling_eyes:
Rachel: we should have someone on the Dead Lesbian TV Characters Hayride at A-Camp who just holds a sign saying Did You Know That PLL Has Killed A Lot Of Other Characters Too, Though

Laneia: how much do you think we should pay for a history piece on lesbian and bisexual nuns of the middle ages
Heather: one million dollars
Laneia: see that’s how i feel
it’s throwing me entirely off
Heather: welp, i think that settles it
riese will understand
i can’t judge this. i want to read it too badly.
i can’t judge how much it’s worth, i mean
Laneia: i know! i can’t even objectively guess how it would do stats-wise bc i’m so obsessed with it and can’t imagine anyone NOT wanting to read it seven times
Heather: same, yes
i think this is what they call an “echo chamber”

Mey: Call Out Post: I still need ASS writeups from Carmen, Maddie, Rachel, Yvonne, Riese, Bren, Audrey, Chelsey, Laneia and Sarah please
Carmen: wait what
Mey: you put in a picture but no words
Carmen: oh i didn’t realize we were supposed to put words
Mey: yeah!
Stef: call out post: carmen can’t read
Carmen: don’t fucking come for me
NOBODY IS ALLOWED TO DRAG ME I JUST HAD THREE SHOTS OF ESPRESSO OKAY
Mey: :clap: CALL :clap: OUT :clap: POST :clap:
Carmen: I’m stepping down from autostraddle
bye
you’ll miss calling me out when i give my body to the sea so
Stef: /giphy jordan catalano

:upward arrow:
Carmen: i’m so upset
Stef: don’t be, jordan catalano was dreamy
before he turned into jared leto
DON’T TURN INTO JARED LETO

Heather: oh i’ve got the comment of the day for you
“Stupid fucking men” you mentioned.What if I said the latest Nicholas Sparks novel or Sex in the City movie was for “Stupid fucking women.”
No need for male bashing.”
Yvonne: oh tom
you’re a stupid fucking man
Heather: tom is today’s winner of the Most Man Award
Riese: Congratulations Tom!!!
your machete is in the mail

Laneia: hi @channel we have to do a liveblog/something for Hairspray Live on NBC 12/7. any takers??? or other ideas??? maybe you want to do a food list that’s somehow hairspray related, or a style thief, or a reading list, or a john waters-related situation that will blow our minds, or something else i’m not thinking of??? this is gayer than peter pan live, ok? and grease live. this is gayer than all of that.
Kaelyn: I am a huge John Waters fan who is also sort of ashamed of myself for being a John Waters fan. Let me think on what that translates into as a pitch.
I would love to do a 60’s fatshion post though.
Like a Tracy Turnblad style thief.
Also just a reminder that John Waters has said some transphobic shit in the recent past.
Mey: KAELYN STOP BEING ASHAMED OF LOVING CAMP AND JUST HAVE YOUR BABY JOHN WATERS IS ONE OF THE GREATEST HUMANS EVER
I’m gonna have a baby and name her John Waters Frank N Furter Valdivia Rude
Kaelyn: I have so much cis shame
About my love of gay white cis men who make problematic shit that also like made me who I am when I was a baby queer
I have to be honest that’s a horrible name.
Mey: STOP BULLYING MY DAUGHTER
Also Richard O’Brien isn’t cis
Look who’s problematic now

Yvonne: the queerest sentence i’ve read probably: “It was processing the aftermath of a difficult poly experience that first got me truly obsessed with my cards… “
Heather: you couldn’t pack more queer sentiments into a sentence if you tried!
Yvonne: maybe if she added that she was eating hummus and petting her cat while doing this
Heather: mmm, yes. but that’s all!

Heather:: my dream
sorry, erin!
(sorry about the message to yvonne i put in here instead of in senior-eds!)
Erin: “my dream” works here also!
Heather: :heart_eyes:
Erin: i sort of wish it was you talking shit about me instead because honestly it would be an honor
“heather talked shit about me and so i talked shit about me”
Heather: lol, we have literally never talked shit about you
the senior editors channel is honestly mostly just me talking about harry potter, much like following me on twitter

Meet A New Contributor!

Get to know some of our newest faces.

Ashley Ray-Harris, Staff Writer

Twitter: @arayyay
Instagram: @arayyay
Facebook: ariarhea

Who was your first woman celebrity crush?
Janis Joplin! I was obsessed with the 60s and hippie culture during my formative years and it all started when I stumbled across a picture of Janis. I still remember it, she was completely naked with huge necklaces around her neck. She just looked like this happy, wise weirdo that wouldn’t put up with anything and I was this isolated black weirdo who had to put up with a lot in my tiny high school. I had pictures of her all over my room and bought this horrific head-to-toe tie-dye outfit that I would wear daily. I thought she was so beautiful and I wanted to look just like her. Janis was definitely the base for my future crushes on people like Ani DiFranco and Tori Amos, but it all started with her. I’m pretty sure I even made my own Janis Joplin emoticons for my Livejournal at one point.

Describe the worst date you’ve ever been on:
It’s really hard to narrow this down! I moved to Chicago when I was 22. Before that, I was in a 5 year relationship. I’d never really dated before and jumped into the scene with a vengeance to make up for the time I felt I lost. There was the woman who asked me for drinks then decided to end the night by surprising me with her husband after I walked her home. I’m poly, so for one summer I only dated poly couples and I truly believe I deserve a book deal for that experience. There was a woman who asked if we could netflix+chill at her place. She told me she lived in a studio, she didn’t tell me she lived with her mom. I once invited a guy back to my place and ended up falling asleep during the movie we were watching. Instead of waking me up to leave, he let me sleep and left all of my doors wide open. When In the morning, my cats were chilling on my front porch. That was really fun to wake up to. Honestly, add me on Facebook for near constant updates on the horrors of my dating life.

If you were at a karaoke bar and you had to pick one song to sing, what would it be?
My go to karaoke song is Rachel Sweet’s “It’s So Different Here” She was this badass 16-year old who put out this amazing album, Fool Around, in 1978. She was only 16, but she sounds so cool and wise. Even though I’m 25, I think I still try to put on the swagger of a 16-year old who thinks she knows it all. It also helps that you don’t need to know how to sing to capture her laid-back vibe.

What is your favorite kind of sandwich?
Grilled cheese. Forever and ever. With all kinds of different cheeses. I could probably eat grilled cheese sandwiches for the rest of my life.

What’s something you’ve been really proud of lately?
Becoming a staff writer at Autostraddle! I write for a few sites, but I’ve always loved Autostraddle because it feels like a little family. I’m really proud of the fact that I’ve been welcomed in with open arms. I’ve been writing since I was a kid and this is the first year I’ve actually started getting published and finding audiences. It blows my mind that I get to do this with a publication that shaped me into the lovely queer lady I am today.

What’s your favorite thing on the internet today?
I’m going to admit my bias here. I’m a writer, but for my day job, I’m the Media Manager for The Onion Inc. Every day I get to work with the insane geniuses behind The Onion and Clickhole. I don’t know how they do what they do, but this Clickhole headline from today, “Feminism In Action: This Man Loves Women So Much He Lives In A Compound With 17 Of Them” made me laugh insanely hard at my desk this morning.

This

Potato Wars

Mey: Ok I just want to say that it’s not fair that Carrie responds to every comment on her anti potato post! How are we supposed to get an accurate count of comments when half are from her?!?!
Carrie: Team Potato seems to be the combative one in this fight. I’m just trying to connect with others, everybody
Mey: WE FIGURE OUT THE WINNER BASED ON WHO HAS THE MOST COMMENTS AT THE END OF THE DAY
Heather: we’ll settle it with a twitter poll!
Mey: I just can’t believe Carrie, a Virgo and a ravenclaw, is a cheater
Carrie: Being nice to my commenters is cheating? Typical Gryffindor bravado.
Mey: Hey, I don’t make the rules, I just follow them and win
Technically I think I did make this rule
lets see how you like it when i reply to a few comments
CALL OUT POST: I CAN’T BELIEVE STEF IS BETRAYING ME IN THE POTATO WAR
Stef: ok i didn’t want to say this but
you can “survive” on potatoes and butter
but are you living?
are you really living?
Mey: also, you guys, it’s not potatoes vs. other vegetables, you’re not supposed replace vegetables with potatoes, that’s not how it works, you’re supposed to have both
Stef: listen if it comes down to fries or onion rings there is really no question, onion rings are the superior food
Mey: this is a battle of potatoes and broccoli and squash and asparagus and onions and carrots and leeks and kale vs. those things and no potatoes ever
Stef: i’m not here for the things pretending to be potatoes, like cauliflower mash
but i am saying that i will choose a lot of things over fries
whenever i get fries i eat like three and then i never want to see one ever again
Mey: stef, you say “i love potatoes” in your anti-potato comment
Stef: i do!
but i stand by my entire comment
[…]
Stef: i love how when it comes down to calling someone out suddenly crystal and i aren’t the same person
REAL CONVENIENT
Mey: hey, crystal is a literal angel and do not bring her into this
Stef: and i am literally satan
and while i enjoy a potato from time to time i think the thing you proposed about surviving off potatoes and butter is what turned me
Mey: you can freaking use vegan substitutes
and honestly, potatoes taste great with just a little salt
Stef: i’m not gonna need any of this when i’m on an all soylent diet
i’m gonna do a food list that’s just soylent 23 times
Mey: as long as you don’t trash talk potatoes
Stef: i’m moving towards a potato free world
ok here it is
your next dual post
you live off nothing and potatoes and butter
i live off nothing but soylent
and at the end we run a race
Carrie: who dies first
Stef: (we both lose)

What We’ve Been Reading

Laneia: The Wandering Womb by Lana Thompson

Stef: All The Lonely People by Patrick Roesle

Laura M: Hard Choices by Hillary Rodham Clinton

Sarah: Harry Potter and the Cursed Child by JK Rowling, Jack Thorne & John Tiffany

Beth: Flora Celtica by William Milliken and Sam Bridgewater

Samantha: Wonder Woman at Super Hero High by Lisa Yee, and Samantha: Ghosts by Raina Telgemeier, and Samantha: How It Went Down by Kekla Magoon

Mey: Milk and Honey by Rupi Kaur

Carolyn: Prostitute Laundry by Charlotte Shane and The Girls by Emma Cline

Carrie: Big Girls Don’t Cry: The Election that Changed Everything for American Women by Rebecca Traister

Yao Xiao: Unconscious Dominions by Warwick Anderson.

KaeLyn: Americanah by Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie

Erin: The Secret History of the World by Mark Booth

Sinclair: Skinned (Book 1 of the Skinned Trilogy) by Robin Wasserman

Alaina: Emily Post’s Etiquette, 18th Edition by Peggy Post, Anna Post, Lizzie Post, and Daniel Post Senning

Maree: Embroideries by Marjane Satrapi

Riese: The Girls: A Novel, by Emma Cline

Heather: All the Single Ladies: Unmarried Women and the Rise of an Independent Nation, by Rebecca Traister

Rachel: Let Me Tell You, by Shirley Jackson

SLACKERS

As a valued A+ member, you are, of course, familiar with Laneia Jumping. A quick refresher:

Laneia Jumping in 2015.

Laneia Jumping in 2016.

This month, thanks to Sarah, we finally got the Slack emoji we all deserve: :laneia_jumping: It has increased our productivity and team building by fifteen thousand percent.

August Retro-Reading

Some posts from previous Augusts Riese thinks you might enjoy.

Team Pick: “Dad Bingo,” A Bingo Game Invented By Rachel For Her Dad’s Upcoming Visit

How to Date Girls: 10 Simple Rules for Properly Courting a Lesbian, by Sarah Hall (2010) – I remember they re-published this on Jezebel and all the commenters were like “DOESN’T THIS APPLY TO STRAIGHT PEOPLE TOO?” and we were like STOP.

100 Awesome Magazine Covers Starring Lesbians 1933-2011, by Riese (2011) – If you like our herstorical stuff and stuff that took me ten years to put together, you will like this trip down memory lane, like the OUTWEEK cover on RICH DYKES.

How The South Made Me A Queer Feminist, by Sarah Fonseca (2012) – “No one really raises a brow or bats an eyelash if a woman wants go hunting, fishing, mudding, noodling, camping, cowtipping, corn shucking, or any other outdoor activity — except skydiving and bungee jumpin’ because that sh*t just ain’t conservative.”

Nicki Minaj’s Feminism Isn’t About Your Comfort Zone: On “Anaconda” and Respectability Politics, by Carmen Rios (2014) – A very popular article, this one! It is still cited to this very day.

Straddler On The Street: Aimée, by Vanessa (2013) – This was one of my fave installments of this one. Aimée is married to our former writer Kate now! The world is full of love magic and wonder!

MALL MADNESS!!!!

Riese: i hope everybody is thinking really hard about what they would call this hot deals column
Yvonne: the price is right
jk
Heather: queering capitalism
jk
Yvonne: hahaha
the more i think about it the more i laugh
Riese: Queer Your Capitlalism
JK!
Yvonne: Queer Your Hot Deals
Queer Hot Deals
Riese: Queer Your Sales
Laneia: FIRE SALE
Riese: These Girls Are on FIRE SALE
Yvonne: but legit i was in this frame of thought about fire
and hunger games
for some reason
Rachel: hot girl-on-deal action
Laneia: Deal City, Population: You (Also You’re Gay)
Riese: Money Is Just a Piece of Paper You Can Exchange For Something Cooler Than A Piece of Paper
Heather: i’d read that article
Laneia: shortened to MIJPPYCEFSCTPP duh
Riese: Layaway Your Gays
Laneia: i wish “layaway your gays” was a catchy pop song
Heather: it couldn’t be worse than katy perry’s “i’m with her” jingle
Rachel: The Art of the Deal
Laneia: !!!
Heather: ha! rachel!
Laneia: wow i think the art of the deal might be where my heart stays
Riese: The Heart of the Deal
Yvonne: i’m kinda sad we already used This Shit Rules
Riese: Shop ’Til Your Credit Score Drops
Laneia: You Don’t Need Money
Heather: ha!
hahaha!
Riese: You Don’t Need Money! (But We Sure Do)
Lez Go Shopping
Laneia: Put Your Money Where Your Need for Queer Community Is
Riese: Gays Who Pay
Yvonne: omg
Heather: gays who pay!
Yvonne: lez go shopping really got me and i imagined a 90s mall themed game header

Kristin, Sarah and Riese on their tour of our fall A-Camp spot in Wisconsin!

Five Posts Rachel Can’t Believe You Motherf*ckers Didn’t Read Last Month

There’s so much incredible writing, like on the level of beautiful sentences and dizzying images, that we published this past month! Some of which you motherfuckers didn’t read. It’s fine you can read them now. Sit down, let’s look at some excerpts.

I Didn’t Know How to be Poor, Black, Biracial and Queer, So I Wasn’t, by Jasika Nicole

Once, and only once, did I ever let my brain consider the possibility that I might like girls in a way that was different than what was expected of me. I considered this thought, honestly and quietly, knowing that this had the potential to rip my world apart, and then I reminded myself that I barely knew how to survive with the identity I already had. I didn’t know how to be poor, and black, and biracial, AND queer. So I wasn’t. I shut it down. I quieted the voice inside of me, convincing it that this was not a world in which it could survive. I had seen no examples of anyone like me, not in my life, not on tv, not in books, so rather than be the first of my kind, I decided not to exist.

Digital Mixtapes and Protests: Oh, To Be A Queer Black Millennial, by Nicole Marie

We yelled their names, names of black bodies lost, bloodied, and abused. We disrupted traffic. We danced in front of the police station. This is what it means to be quintessentially millennial for me, a young, queer, black woman. It’s small acts of growing up: paying bills, buying groceries, and learning to look straight ahead when a pervert comments on my “juicy, black ass” in the street. Because if I don’t, I could end up like Venice Brown, Terrain Dandridge, Patreese Johnson, and Renata Hill who received prison sentences from an all white jury for defending themselves against a man who leered at them, spat on them, and pulled out chunks of their hair simply because they were black, they were gay, and they were uninterested.

Mama Outsider: Notes to a Dancing Girl, by Asha

This dip becomes my signature move and I will practice it in mirrors until I master it. And I know I have mastered it when I feel my body moving with my memory. The integration, embodiment. I practice and in practicing find freedom to be wild. To be too much. I learn to listen for the code in the base, to hear rhythms telling my hips what to do. I dance wild. I dance freaky. For the next few years, someone taps me on the shoulder to pull me away from the spectacle I am making of myself. Soon, I will be grown enough for nobody to care.

Small Beauty is a Big Deal for Queer Lit and Trans Girls, by Kai Cheng Thom

Reading Small Beauty (which I’ve done about eighteen times now) is many conflicting emotions: connection, envy, familiarity, fear. The joy that comes of hearing, at last, someone tell a story you’ve been waiting for your whole life. The fear that comes of wondering, what is there left for me to tell? But the gift that Wilson-Yang gives us – trans girls, queer community, lit lovers in general – is that her work opens up space to tell stories that are at once deeply communal and strikingly unique.

46 Queer Feminist Books You Should Read This Fall, by Carolyn

Hey do you need a super rad queer book to dive into this fall? How about 46 of them? THAT’S WHAT I THOUGHT. You’re welcome.

Audrey’s Pick of the Month: Ello Cole Stainless Steel Travel Mug

Image via Smile Sandwich

I want to compose sonnets, sing ballads and dedicate monuments to this thermos. It is everything a travel mug should be and so many more things I never thought of! Hot drinks stay hot for five hours or more, and cold drinks stay cold for what seems like infinity. But the outside is ceramic which means it is never hot to the touch like most metal and plastic mugs, and it doesn’t sweat if you have icy drinks in it. And the matte surface is surprisingly grip-able. The lid is completely, mystically leak-proof, but when you pop the slider open an appropriate amount of liquid comes out. ALSO THE BASE IS A BUILT IN COASTER! It’s top-rack dishwasher safe and the inside is just wide enough that I can stuff a towel down in it to dry out the corners without breaking my knuckles. It fits in cupholders!!

In addition to being supremely functional, this thing is an aesthetic delight. The top comes in several colors, and the white is smudge resistant and easy to clean. The cork base looks classy, and with the top screwed in it looks like one piece.

The Ello Cole costs less than $20, and if you commute with a beverage or just like to have a lot of temperature control, it will probably change your whole life.

The Great Mars Cheese Castle In The Sky

Riese: it would be neat if people did like “three days in [midwestern city]” leading up to camp
like travel articles
Rachel: oh i would love that
Heather: three days at mars cheese castle
Riese: ideally for; milwaukee, madison, chicago, the wisconsin dells, indianapolis
Rachel: as i think would all the queer people who feel v defensive of flyover states
Heather: i’d love that too
esp. a mars cheese castle one
because what is at mars cheese castle is beer and cheese and jam and pickles
Laneia: i want to live in that castle
do they rent rooms
Rachel: what if we did a like Bizarre Files of Mrs. Basil E Frankweiler for the mars cheese castle
“i illegally hid inside the mars cheese castle for three days straight, here’s my photoessay”
Heather: RACHEL
my eyes are as big as the moon
Laneia: i already died from it so i’ll see you there
Heather: see you at that great mars cheese castle in the sky

XOXO

Team Autostraddle

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