Hey, you! Yeah, you! I don’t know about you, but I think it’s fly when girls stop by for the summer and I think you probably do, too, and that means you probably desire to round up all those queer lady-types in one location for a pure moment of bliss this season and guess what? YOU CAN HAVE THAT! You can have that moment. You can have it all, don’t listen to anyone else.
You can spend the summer in the company of the coolest queermos in town if you host an Autostraddle meet-up of any kind before Fall comes and kills our dreams, and doing just that is easy as blueberry pie! Are you up for it? Say yes. No, say yasssss. All you have to do is get up the courage to host, make a solid plan, and then submit your event to us via our fancy all-new events submissions form! (Have I told you about the fancy all-new events listings mechanism yet? No? Be shocked. Be awed. Thank Cee.) We’ll help you get the word out and love you forever if you do these things, JSYK.
If you’re down to clown, here’s some ideas to get you started on this, your summer of a million babes.
Beach or Pool Party
Obviously the trump card meet-up this summer will be anything involving a large body of water, so. The best part about beach and pool parties is that people who hate water can still come and enjoy other people’s company, and also sand gets in your shoes but you end up too blissed out to care. I would also like to add that a beach or pool party in which drinks can be imbibed in said bodies of water is an experience matching that of high-fiving a million angels.
Carnivals / Small-Town Events You Nostalgically Treasure
Every year, I find myself at home coincidentally at the same exact time the carnival comes to my childhood church parking lot. Since I went to a totally chill church in New Jersey, going to this carnival is more enjoyable than terrible, and also they have zeppoles there. If there’s a cruelty-free circus, tiny carnival situation, or even a large fair of some sort going on near the street where you live, probably you should invite other weirdo queer people from this website to meet you there so that you don’t ride the Scrambler alone and someone can hold your hair back after the Tilt-a-Whirl. Also, oh my gosh, do you like the Pharoah’s Fury? I love the Pharoah’s Fury.
Ice Cream Cones As Community-Building
I’m so into the idea of ‘straddlers around the world getting ice cream cones together. Like, if you do this, could you maybe make sure to post a pic right down there in the comments of everyone eating ice cream together so I can know my dreams came true? Acceptable alternatives to getting ice cream cones include shacking up at the local fro-yo place, making vegan ice cream in your kitchen, and also just rubbing ice cubes all over each other in the street.
Wet and Wild Water Park Trip
Pack a formidable bathing suit. Pack a flask. Pack an athlete’s foot cream. YOU’RE GOING TO A WATER PARK WITH A BUNCH OF STRANGERS AND IT’S GONNA BE SO FUCKING AMAZING! I know this for a fact because before college I organized a meet-up with people from New Jersey who were also going to said college and we went to Mountain Creek and I shined bright like a diamond the whole time. I also radiated red for a long time after, I’m sure.
Get Lost, Go Camping
I’ve seen a lot of meet-ups about camping since I started my tenure as Straddleverse Editor and I’d like to say that I commend all of you so much for doing this without Riese, Marni, or Robin to guide you through the process. That sounds very hard. But anyway, if you’ve got some drivers who are willing and maybe some extra tents for people like me who have never tent-camped in their lives (#confessions), I’d highly recommend spending a night or two under the stars with your fellow Autostraddle readers and forgetting the world. Don’t get eaten by a bear!
Christmas XXXMAS in July Party
I’ve been planning to have a “Christmas in July” party since I got to college and found out what theme parties were, but it’s never happened. Here’s what I’m envisioning: you, me, all of our friends who are reading this article right now, a central A/C turned down to like, 50 degrees, and enough ugly sweaters to satiate every moth at A-Camp. Oh, and this playlist. Make some hot cider! Whip up some winter sweets! MAKE IT HAPPEN SO I CAN DIE A HAPPY PERSON OK.
Any Sporting Event Whatsoever
Okay, full disclosure, I do not know what sports are “in season” right now. Is that the right phrase? That’s for vegetables, isn’t it. EITHER WAY! You know what’s better than day-drinking and eating hot dogs? Doing it in a stadium with a foam finger on and children within earshot just waiting to be corrupted by overhearing your conversations.
Stoop Kids
I’m very attached to the idea of a stoop. If you have a stoop, share your stoop with a queer in need. Just tell the world, “meet me on my stoop.” I guarantee it’ll be a knockout event.
The Happiest Hour
Ah, yes, summer. Season of a thousand hours of sun. Take advantage of the longer days with a post-work happy hour, AKA a bonafide bitch-fest. Extra points if you pick a restaurant or bar with a covered patio, frozen drinks, or cheap tacos. Everyone loves cheap tacos.
Go to the (Dog) Park
I went to the dog park once with a bunch of queers and everything was fuzzy and nothing hurt. We brought some snacks in well-sealed containers to keep the pups safe and spent the afternoon watching a bunch of tiny beasts run around and freak out with excitement about things like tennis balls, which I’d like to think was a really great moment of reflection for us all. The bonus? You’ll meet all the dog people in town all at once and feel less alone about not liking anyone’s cat ever.
ARE YOU EXCITED YET?? Use the hashtag #straddleverse when you’re sharing all those adorable pics of you and your new friends, and you’ll probably be reposted by Autostraddle on insta!
Stoop Kid meet-ups: perfect for the queer agoraphobe. Agoraphobes in da house! Am I the only one who was profoundly impacted by Stoop Kid’s unnamed agoraphobia? He was house/stoop-bound. Mental illness on Hey Arnold!
There are so many cute/fun ice cream shops in NYC! I want to eat ice cream with you all!
what if you went on an ice cream tour just saying
Ice cream crawl!!
Thank you for changing christmas to xxxmas.
i invite anyone who doesn’t to get on my level
I thought Christmas in July was an Australian/southern hemisphere thing so that people of European origin could partake in European Winter Christmas traditions in our winter (when it is a least a bit closer to ‘cold’.)
That’s kind of weird and funny that people do it in the Northern Hemisphere too.
it’s usually a marketing thing…
wait, that makes so much sense. honestly, i just like christmas. i feel like someone recently questioned if christmas in july is a thing but it just feels like such a THING to me, but what’s weird is i have no fucking clue where i learned of it / how i got so into it, so there’s that. i have poor memory, like warm weather, and love gifts, and thus, a dream is born that will never die.
Love the beach and camping ideas! Or maybe a hike (less daunting than an overnight). Ant Seattle or Tacoma straddlers interested?
Beach! Beach! Beach!
Okay, I’ll try to host something for Alki beach. Do Sundays work for people? I work Saturdays but am off Sundays.
Unless you think a different beach would be better? But Alki seems like the best place for a beach party in Seattle.
very into what’s happening here, bless your beach meet-up. BLESS IT.
Would you mind if a Straddler from north of the boarder joined your beach party? I have been wanting to take a mini weekend vacation trip to Seattle.
Of course not! I’d love to have you join!!
yes!! come!!
Sundays are fine, Alki is totally reasonable, plus the further edges of it on either end are less populated/have some shade options.
Alright count me in!!!! As long as it’s not the same weekend as August long.
Most Sundays in August work for me. When is August long?
I looked it up; apparently it’s Aug 3. I figured we could maybe meet at Alki Beach Park (1702 Alki Ave SW), since it’s easy to find and has a nice sandy area, and then walk to a less crowded area if we want. I’m making it for Aug 9th – sound okay?
Also, that was supposed to say “any” – not “ant”…
A Tacoma straddler reporting in! I would love to go to Alki beach on a Sunday!
Awesome!
August 9th works for me!
Yay, good to hear!
Okay, here it is! :D
http://develop.autostraddle.com/seattle-2015-08-09-alki-beach-partypicnicmeetup/
in lieu of stoop meetups, in the south we could have porch sits. and like, my porch has couches so everyone’s always invited
LOVE PORCHES. idk where the boro is but I am into your porch couch provided raccoons don’t sleep there
Where in the south? I’m in n.ga mountains…
yes wait this sounds so adorable can i come
PORCH SITS!!! I am SO down for this. Anyone in S.E. Virginia?
cynthia nixon is adorkable.
RT
I simultaneously really really want to do this but I also realize that I’m super awkward and intimidated by people. If anyone has any ideas for cool things to do in Houston hit me up! Maybe a meetup where we go to all the museums on free museum day (which is every Thursday) or maybe to the Galleria. I know nothing about what there is to do here.
I’d be down as long as it’s after August 7 (my move-in date to my new apartment!).
I just want a snowball.
Does anybody want a snowball?
It doesn’t have to be a snowball…
I have rainbow colored snoballs like everyday lol
I have never had a rainbow snowball in all my 24 years of snowball consumption. Are they often a multi-flavour situation like I’ve suspected?
Any NOLA peeps want to try for a Snoball Social? Look at dat alliteration, Ice Cream Social has nothing on that.
Also ice cream you’re not nearly as vibrant and tacky coloured as snoballs.
I’m down, but I’m not sure who else in Nola is on autostraddle; but if you wanna try and set smthng up that would be cool.
Yeah the yellow is ice cream and blue bubble gum and I think the red is strawberry but not sure. That’s the 3 they use and the other colors are just from mixing with each other.
wait but what about sno-balls, the pre-packaged desserts that are chocolate cake w/ cream in the middle wrapped in marshmallow and coconut shreds i would eat all the sno-balls with you
This is karma for talking about mummification when people were trying to eat isn’t it?
But it’s not like you had any clue that coconut is my mortal enemy.
Yes, Carmen you could have the coconut based abominations you want and I would give them to you. The Sun is just too far away and I don’t have a spaceship nor do I have Saiyan powers.
SOMEONE COME CAMPING WITH ME.
Seriously, it gets lonely to only have company on, like Fridays and some Saturdays, and maybe a random Tuesday or something. And I’d love to meet more of y’all because y’all are awesome.
Oh come on you can’t just propose camping and then not say which corner of the globe you’re on! (Here’s hoping it’s around Philadelphia)
I’m in New York, up in the Adirondacks. So not like on the other side of the globe from Philly, but not exactly in it’s backyard either.
oh god i love the adirondacks and if i lived closer to them i would 100% go camping with you. i’m just letting you know. but hey! i bet a lot of queermos do live near you and would also go camping with you, sooooo! only one way to find out…
I’d love to if you didn’t live on the opposite end of the continent… :(
I live in RI… You should be my camping buddy! :)
Speaking of ice cream, Brooklyn Straddlers, Ample Hills is pretty much the best and a meetup there would be awesome
Very, very true.
oh my god yes to all the ice cream meet-ups
YES
BE THE ICE CREAM MEET-UP I WANT TO SEE IN THE WORLDDDDD
Hey fun friends! Hit me up on Twitter if you’re in St Louis and would like to do fun things! @LarraKyleen
Hey, Los Angeles, based queermos, let’s do something, maybe?
Let’s do it! How about a potluck picnic
Barnsdall Park: 4800 Hollywood Blvd, Los Angeles, CA 90027
The Berlin straddlers’ next meetup will take plave in a park with some kind of water situation where we’ll lie down and literally do nothing. Just fyi if someone wants to join. r
typing like there’s something in my mouth…
Where is the info for the Berlin group?
please submit this to the listings so i can better visualize myself being there bc oh man i wish i was gonna be there
Book a flight and hop on over!
Man, ice creams sounds great. If any Philly peeps up for it, I’m down too.
Where my Des Moines-area queer ladies who want to Zoo Brew at?
Crafternoon with me in Iowa City/Cedar Rapids!
this is just a forewarning that i am TOTALLY going to suggest crafternoons in my next meet-up inspiration post and i am forever indebted to you for this idea and can we somehow have a crafternoon together even though i live in dc because i just feel very much like we are soul twins in this moment.
Anyone in the Sacramento/Davis/general NorCal area want to meetup?
As far as sporting events go: women’s soccer is the greatest, queerest sport around. :) They have games in Houston, Boston, Chicago, Seattle, Portland, Kansas City, and other cities. The women’s league really needs the support! And again, it’s super gay.
So true! Plus it’s totally supporting a women’s pro sports league and that’s great too! Go dash!
Toronto!! Pride was so rainy and cold; let’s do something in the nicer weather?
anyone in Austin want to have an AS summer meetup? Maybe not ice cream bc it’ll immediately melt?
Any Virginia Straddlers? There’s an Arbor Day (though weeks ago) concert benefit on Saturday in Richmond. Wanna picnic in Maymont or another Richmond park? I’m also moving near Norfolk for a while soon. Where the southern VA straddlers at? The population seems nil.
Atlanta, anyone??
I’m Atlanta-ish– n ga anyway… I’d love to go hiking!