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It’s time for another edition of SE(N)O, an essay series on A+ for personal stories we wish we could tell on the accessible-to-our-employers-and-everyone-we've-ever-known mainsite, but can’t for personal and professional reasons.

For most of the first 25 years of my 28 years on earth, everybody treated me like a man. Well, like a gay man, because a lot of people thought I was gay, but still — like a man. It’s hard to shake that. When I write about my life before I came out, I’m afraid people will read that writing and imagine me as a guy, like how I imagine someone doing the things they’re describing when I’m reading about their past. So I want to talk to you about my name, but doing so summons a lot of fear ...