Emily continues on into her locker where she is followed by Spencer. Spencer is trying to make nice but Emily is having none of it. It’s sort of frustrating when the Liars fight because they should really know by now that all they’re doing is letting A win.

How can I cheer you up? I can use that french tickler you like so much...
How can I cheer you up? I could use that french tickler you like so much…

Spencer tells Emily she called over to the sorority house and learned all about The Old House Mother. That’s old news to Emily, who learned about it just by flirting with one of the sorority girls.

Like the viewers who have to watch this shit.
Like the viewers who have to watch this shit.

Emily storms off only to be greeted by the sweet sounds of the violin. She wanders over to the music room where she spots Shana playing. Maybe I got this wrong. Maybe Shana isn’t here to steal Paige, maybe she’s here to steal Emily. Maybe they’re going to have cable TV’s first lesbian threesome. I could live with that.

God she's good at fingering.
God she’s good at fingering.

Down the hall, Mike comes up to Aria and basically accuses her of sleeping with Friend Connor. Aria doesn’t know what the hell he’s talking about, but even if she did she’d be allowed to sleep with whoever she damn pleases because slut-shaming is never okay.

Is this seriously what I have to do to get some screen time around here?
Is this seriously what I have to do to get some screen time around here? Because I have better things to do. I’m gonna be big. I just starred as “Peter Malarky” in a Hunger Games spoof.

Aria marches into the boys locker room and we discover that Mike’s Friend Connor is a mean jerk.

Four. Which is the only reason Aria wouldn't play it. Unless she was turning "WHIZBANG" into "WHIZBANGS" putting the "S" on a triple letter score earning her 93 points.
Four. Which is the only reason Aria wouldn’t play it. Unless she was turning “WHIZBANG” into “WHIZBANGS” putting the “S” on a triple letter score earning her 93 points.

Oh my god I hate his face so much. Someone write a mean letter to every college he wants to go to and then call his mother and tell her to ground him. But first, someone’s at the door behind Aria and overheard the whole thing. Who’s at the door?

It's Fitz! Looking constipated!
It’s Fitz!

Fitzy is unamused.