The Family Halloween Hoedown has reached its natural conclusion and Micah’s the last guest standing, still simply overcome with anxiety about parenthood. Just wait until he finds out how fun the Trying to Conceive process is!!!!

Max pointing at himself and talking
Honestly I just stood up for myself and was like, “just because everyone else in the family is dressed up like a dinosaur doesn’t mean I have to also”

Micah: “I know that we don’t really know each other but this is—”
Max: “It’s special, this.”
Micah: “Yeah, yeah, exactly. It is.”
Max: “I mean, it is for me too.”
Micah: “Really?”
Max: “Yeah, ’cause I’m the one who gets to tell you how great it’s gonna be. Your whole life. You get to reinvent everything for yourself, and be your own kind of parent, and your own kind of man. I’m excited for you.”

Micah and Max in the kitchen
Okay so Question #56 is, is it possible for a dog to accidentally eat a baby

Wow I’m so happy for them! This way that Max returned and the story he has now is absolutely a highlight of Generation Q so far, how absolutely wonderful.


Shane returns from her dally in the alley to find Finley waiting in the office … furious? Not on Tess’s behalf, really, more because somehow Finley feels personally betrayed by this. “I trusted you,” Finley admonishes. “I defended you. I just, I.. I don’t know who you are anymore! Tess is fucking perfect, man.” She says Shane and Tess made “perfect sense.” Probably when Finley looked at them, she was able to look at herself and Sophie and think, “maybe one day we too will own two bars.”

Finley yelling at Shane
You’re tearing me apart!

There are so many things about this that doesn’t track — firstly, Finley knows who Shane is. Finley was, after all, the one who hooked up with Tess the day after Tess found out her girlfriend had fucked her boss, Shane, in the backroom of their fledgling lesbian bar. And like Shane, Finley’s aware of her own flaws, which enables her to be less judgmental of others.

Secondly, even if we put that existing personality trait aside — Finley’s spent 16 months now in AA and she would’ve learned at some point that love begins with learning that all people, including ourselves, are to some extent emotionally ill as well as frequently wrong. And knowing that enables us all to see the futility of idolizing mortals and grasp the importance of humility. And in this case specifically Finley saw Shane drinking straight bourbon prior to her alley hook-up, and Finley surely understands the “drinking a lot to enable myself to fuck up my life” game.

All of this is just a massive missed opportunity, a throwaway outburst that I think is intended to move Shane more quickly towards regret and guilt — but they don’t need it, ’cause Max does it way more organically a few scenes later — at the expense of Finley’s growth or even simply writing a conversation that Shane could actually participate in. ‘Cause what can Shane even say to this unhinged reaction? Imagine, instead, Finley saying hey buddy, it looks like you’re in trouble and making bad choices, what’s going on with you? And her bond with Shane could deepen and shift here, instead of fracturing, and we could see how sobriety has changed not just how much Finley drinks, but how she relates to the world around her. Maybe through that conversation Finley could also get closer to realizing that the situation with Sophie, while hurtful, isn’t cheating. Because this is cheating. And that isn’t cheating. And then she could figure out what’s really wrong and what really needs repair with Sophie.

Like if we’re gonna keep doing cheating storylines, let’s wrestle as much life out of them as we can!

“I looked up to you and you’re a real fucking disappointment!” Finley yells before storming out of the joint, apparently no longer feeling the need to finish her shift. If I could’ve stormed out of the Macaroni Grill every time my manager cheated on his wife I would’ve left a lot of tables in the lurch, I’ll tell you what


Dani and Roxy have returned to Dani’s castle in the sky to enjoy what is every lesbian’s right on this precious earth: to fuck their friend when they and their friend are finally single together for the first time.

First Roxy takes in the view from Dani’s perch atom Gotham City:

Dani rubbing Roxy's shoulders
Wow so you’re like, rich-rich, huh

And then they start kissing and it’s pretty hot and yes, Roxy is the social top but also, Dani is the top-top, and she’s taking the lead here, joking with her little tail, leading her to the couch, straddling her lap—

Dani and Roxy making out

— but then Roxy feels a poke — it’s an earring. The one Gigi lost, the one she asked about at the start of last week’s episode. Now, Dani needs to stop.

“I think I’m still in love with my ex-girlfriend,” Dani admits, her face finally breaking. She hasn’t even cried about it yet and it is just so very real and gay that Roxy was here for sex but she switches swiftly to being here for Feelings, wrapping her whole body around Dani’s whole body so Dani can cry right into her. Because that’s what hot gay friends are for!

Dani holding Roxy
We were so hot together, me and Gigi

Back at Chez Alice, Taylor’s icing her naked eye and Alice is readying herself to show Taylor what a real person she is. She starts off strong with stress-induced teeth grinding remedied by a mouth guard. I’m hoping her next confession will be like, masturbating to Elizabeth Warren’s instagram reels, but instead it’s that she sleeps with earplugs ’cause her neighbor’s in Maroon 5, which is much more embarrassing for her neighbor than it is for her.

Taylor and Alice talking in bed
Actually one time after a breakup I built a whole shrine to my ex-girlfriend in my office and would have dinner dates with a cardboard cutout of her I stole from a cruise ship

Taylor on the other hand, loves styrofoam cups and … doesn’t have a drivers license! Well as soon as she gets it I hope Alice is so excited for her to finally drive up to her house. Anyhow, they’re cute and I’m having a nice time.


Back at The Dana Fairbanks Memorial Tavern, Shane’s once again brooding in the backroom, probably wondering how she gave Finley the impression that she was primed for idolization, when Ivy texts that she’s out front. A very determined Shane blazes through the bar to reach her when who should she run into but the one and only Max Sweeney!

Shane and Max greeting each other
Thank GOD you’re here I need immediate help with a computer search

Max: I feel like I’ve lived a thousand lives since I’ve seen you last.
Shane: Well — all good ones, I hope!
Max: Yeah! I got four kids.
Shane: What!? You have four kids, are you serious?
Max: It’s a madhouse for sure, but it’s so joyful. How about you?

Max talking to Shane
You okay, man?
Shane clutching her head
Yeah yeah I just all of a sudden remembered the interrogation tapes

Max asks Shane if she’s “settled down” or if she’s still “being Shane” and Shane insists she’s not being Shane at all, she has “a girl” and she’s great.

And what’s interesting about Max and Shane in the context of what comes next is that in the original series, Shane was the character least guilty of mistreating Max — which isn’t saying much, considering how appalling everybody else behaved and how little Shane did, but still. It was part of Shane’s overall “take people as they are” vibe, but also, as Phoenix wrote in our Lisa the Lesbian-Identified Man Trans Symposium, Shane was usually “in general a great ally to trans and gender non-conforming people.” So it’s fitting that of course it is now Shane who is apologizing on the group’s behalf:

Shane: For what it’s worth, I just wanna apologize, for how we were back then.
Max: I’m great, man. I’m happy. And I hope you’re happy too.

My heart sang for this moment! We talk about it a lot more on the podcast so you should listen on Monday.

Then Shane heads off, and Micah returns — he’s still got questions!

Micah and Max holding the same beer at Dana's
Wow, a Heineken! In my day the only beer they were allowed to drink on this show was Dos Equis.

And here, again, an opportunity for a meaningful detail, some specific question Micah can’t google about being a queer parent that would illuminate something about who he is as a character, is passed up in favor of Micah asking, for no discernible reason, “with the diapers like, how do you know when it’s time to change them?”


Maribel arrives home to find her sister sitting sadly on the couch with a bundle of candy but Maribel’s got some complaints of her own to register, like the very valid problem that it took her two hours to get an accessible Lyft and the less valid problem that Micah hung back to “talk to a real smartass who told [Mari] to resolve [her] Daddy Issues before having a baby.” She should definitely resolve her daddy issues before having a baby. Unless she’s over 40 in which case I recommend getting the process started immediately, the clock is ticking! Tick tock!

Sophie and Maribel on the couch, Sophie is looking closely at something
Why does my fortune say “Here we go. Low fat, whole wheat, green tea.”

Speaking of Dear Old Daddy, Sophie wants to know if Maribel thinks she’s like Dad, who was a cheater who left. Historically, Sophie has actually been a cheater who stayed, so.

Maribel relents that Sophie does have a pattern – on that and that alone, she and Finley agree. Sophie doesn’t wanna be like Dad! However, Sophie reminds Maribel, Micah’s never gonna leave her so she should maybe be nicer to him.

Sophie looking at Maribel
Maybe you can’t see it because you’re straight but Albie is giving off really bad vibes

“You’re not Dad,” Maribel assures Sophie.

“How do you know for sure?” Sophie’s face cracks.

“Bitch ’cause I can see you, even when you can’t see yourself,” Mari assures her. “I promise.”


Well, someone had the “best nite ever” according to her follow-up text message and unfortunately it was Angie Porter-Kennard, with her Introduction to Creative Writing instructor, failed novelist Hendrix Hendrix. Bella arrives back in the dorm and demands Angie spill the deets on who that mysterious man was with whom she was sucking face earlier!

Bella in her costume
Get your sporks out ’cause I’ve got a full honeybaked ham under this skirt

“He’s my creative writing instructor!” Angie squeals.

“This is a scandal I am so here for,” Bella grins.

Bella and Angie sitting on her bed
No, no I haven’t seen Tár yet!

It’s seeming so far like in addition to every other problem we have with this storyline, Hendrix is indeed a straight cis man, so I’m really hoping that Bella is a member of the infamous LGBTQ+ community, ’cause I think otherwise we’re missing an opportunity to explore Angie making queer connections in college. Particularly ’cause her story currently is so physically disconnected from the rest of the cast, even moreso now that her Moms have decamped for Tim Hortons. A more obvious thematic connection (the theme being “queerness”) would really resonate! It’d also be cool to see other main characters in Angie’s story — like maybe Micah could’ve returned to teaching this season and had Angie in his class. Or Dana’s starts doing catering and they hire Angie part-time, or she interns for Alice or she keeps a weekly dinner date with Alice and Shane. Or her story at school is so vibrant and queer that we wish it was its own spin-off! Jordan Hull is such a treasure, you know?


We then strap wings upon our backs and fly across town to Dani’s resplendent Castle in the Sky, where she and Roxy are eating popcorn and Roxy’s saying she’s gonna go to Costa Rica and can’t stay in L.A. ’cause Dani’s not ready to be her wife yet.

Roxy and Dani eating popcorn at the kitchen counter
Don’t move, I think you may have just unwrapped the golden ticket

“Call me when that heart heals,” Roxy begs. “I’ll come running.”

Then Roxy cranks up “Hey Mami” and they dance dance dance like they’ve got ants in their pants and who isn’t here for Dani twerking in a granny cardigan we all are be real!

Dani and Roxy grinding
This is how lesbians have sex

Finley has arrived home after having her heart ripped to shreds by Shane McCutcheon, which’s not an uncommon experience for young women in the Los Angeles Metro Area.

“You were right, about everything,” Finley says to her sad girlfriend.

Finley looking down at Sophie
Suppose you had to do something, you had to go someplace and do this thing that was, you knew it was very dangerous, but it was a matter of honor. And you had to prove it. What would you do?
Sophie lying in bed propped up on her elbow
Are you gonna stay in character forever or does this end at midnight

Finley wants to trust Sophie but doesn’t know how — and she can’t stop thinking about this person, and maybe her imagination is worse than the real thing, so maybe they only way around this is through. Sophie’s gonna have to tell her everything because once she knows what everything is, then she can walk around it or break it instead of worrying it could appear around the corner at any moment.


Great news: Micah is finally an avocado! And he wants Maribel to know that parenting should be fun, just like Max told him. Mari apologizes again for being a pain in the ass. Maybe next episode she will stop being a pain in the ass!

Micah in his avocado outfit
What do you say to an avocado who’s done a good job?
Maribel in bed holding her phone to take a picture of Micah
Bravocado!!

“Don’t leave me, okay?” Maribel asks.

“I won’t, not ever,” Micah says.


At the desperately understaffed Dana Fairbanks Memorial Tavern, Shane’s telling Ivy this thing they’re doing — they’ve gotta cut it out.

Ivy talking to Shane
Okay hear me out though: threesome?

Ivy tells Shane that she was an awakening for her, and Shane tells Ivy that this meant a lot to her, she means it. She says “thank you” and squeezes Ivy’s hand. And maybe this is the small way that Shane has in fact changed — she’s not just shutting a door or silencing a call, she’s saying face-to-face what she can’t do, and admitting that what she did do mattered to her, meant something, wasn’t just fucking around.

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And then Shane takes a deep breath and turns around and look who made it to the party after all!

Tess staring at Shane in disbelief
Were you just talking to the CEO of Brinker International about turning Bar #2 into a Bahama Breeze?
Shane looking at Tess not knowing what to say
I mean—

“Fuck you, Shane,” Tess says before hurling a half-filled glass of water at Shane’s face. Just last week, Shane was ass-to-mouth with a burst water pipe looking like she’d just made the Jolly Green Girl Giant squirt for the first time so this particular half-full 8-ounce glass of clear liquid appears, in comparison, to really be barely a light spring shower!

Shane standing in the bar with her head wet
Refreshing!

She should’ve thrown a Pina Colada or a carafe of iced tea! Or a glass of milk. That’s how you really make a point. I should know, I once poured a full glass of milk over a man’s head. (He deserved it.) Anyhow all of these tips are free, you’re welcome world!


L Word Generation Q Episode 304 Recap Round-Up:

Sexy Moments: 1 this episode, 4 total
Squabbles: 1 this episode, 8 Total
Quote of the Week: “I’m the one who gets to tell you how great it’s gonna be. Your whole life. You get to reinvent everything for yourself, and be your own kind of parent, and your own kind of man. I’m excited for you.”