When I was a tiny lesbian, I wanted to grow up to become an artist. In my young mind, this would consist mainly of sitting by scenic vistas with an easel and a set of watercolors, flourishing my brush dramatically. After a few years, I imagined, my work would be displayed in heavy gold frames at major museums around the world.
I also imagined I would spend the rest of my life with a bowl cut and bangs straight across my forehead, and I am sure you know how that worked out.
In fact, before I hit fifth grade, my career aspirations (and haircut!) had shifted rapidly— I went from hopeful artist to wannabe private detective (in the style of The Boxcar Children) to possible architect to future Broadway star. By high school, the easel I had received as an eighth(?) birthday present was collecting dust in the basement. In spite of this change, there was one area of my life in which my love of art continued to flourish: I was an inveterate doodler.
I always colored inside the lines. (Via Free Period Press)
My early love of doodling can probably be traced to Amelia’s Notebook, Marissa Moss’s composition-book-spotted masterpiece of fictional journal drawings. However, given the fact that I considered myself constitutionally incapable of drawing people, I had to devote my energies to a variety of other subjects.
As an older sibling, I feel a tiny bit bad for Cleo. (Via Amazon)
Between fifth and twelfth grade, some of my favorite things to doodle included:
- Poké Balls
- vines
- that cool “S” with the pointy top and bottom
- foods I hoped would be for lunch
- books
- the events covered in the A.P. U.S. History curriculum
- fairy castles
- elaborate geometric patterns that would cover the entire “Saturday” column of my homework planner
- city skylines
- mermaids (with carefully rendered breasts)
(In my defense, studies do show that doodlers are actually more likely than non-doodlers to retain information.)
It should come as no surprise that, outside of school, doodles snuck into my journals. There’s a floor plan of my Argentine host family’s house, several layouts for the school newspaper, the outline of a Silly Band pig, and something that looks troublingly like an over-decorated coffin.
On the right side of the page are plans for the Regency romance novel I have yet to write.
While I have always been primarily a word-writer, I would guess that there are many among our dear queer diarist fellows who use doodles as a primary method for recording their thoughts, experiences, and fantasies about making out with Ellen Page.
If you spend half as much time in bookstores as I do, you know that there are about a basquillion doodle-related journals out there; however, I feel that I simply must inform you that one lovely Straddler has helped to create her own doodle-friendly diary—or as she calls it, “a coloring book for adults.” You may recall reading about it way back when it was in the Kickstarter phase, but I can assure you that 1. Free Period Press is now a beautiful reality, and 2. my mini-notebook has already facilitated journal-doodles aplenty. I, personally, lack the moral fiber to color outside the lines, but as usual, you can do you, my journaling geniuses.
This is my Free Period notebook, ft. my disturbingly scaly thumb.
What is your doodling modus operandi, dear queer diarists? Do you need a grown-up coloring book to hide in your desk drawer at work? Most importantly, have you ever drawn a picture of a Squirtle in your journal? Please, reassure me that I am not alone.
Dear Queer Diary is a column about the joys (and occasionally, the pains) of journaling. We crack open our tiny notebooks and break out the rainbow-colored pens on the regular, so get ready to limber up your writing hands and document all your beautiful feelings!
Header by Rory Midhani
The Amelia books were absolutely formative for me as a journaler and I’m actually planning/hoping to pick these up for the school library where I work as “mentor texts” for the teachers (or me!) to teach journaling to my young students. I even had a purple and white marbled notebook as my very first diary because I wanted one like Amelia’s and I decorated it with stickers and everything.
I don’t doodle any more because I’m not in classes, taking notes, and my journal is a LiveJournal (remember those?), but I miss it a lot, so I might need to invest in some of those coloring books!
I never drew a squirtle, but I definitely drew some Pikachus and about ten thousand drawings of this boy with cat ears and a tail from grades nine through, oh, senior year of college.
I’m so glad you liked the Amelia books and that they encouraged you to draw and write! That’s the best compliment a writer can get.
Hi Marissa Moss!!!! You rock!
I am so excited that you saw this and commented here! It really made my day.
Of all my doodles, I think I am most proud of the series of 48-hour chick embryos in the margins of my stats notebook.
By the way, whatever happened to those NSFW coloring books we were promised? Did we not raise enough money for those?
Very impressed by the proto-chicks.
Adult colouring books do exist in a non-straddly way: http://www.amazon.co.uk/Cunt-Coloring-Vagina-Colouring-Corinne/dp/B00E31OFWG/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1391891866&sr=8-1&keywords=cunt+colouring+book
We definitely raised enough for the coloring book. We also raised enough for a Queer Girl Guidebook, The Best Music Video Ever, and a day of being able to choose the content on the website and an ideascale. None of those have happened yet, hopefully they will soon.
I cannot speak for the Greater Powers of Autostraddle, but I think it’s safe to assume that all these and more will arrive before the four horsemen of the apocalypse. Our fearless editors always have lots of tricks up their sleeves… :-)
i too had dreams of being an artist and i too doodle, well more like draw stick figures to represent what i’ll be doing that day
i’m pretty sure that at least 50% of the reason i got a degree in art therapy was so i could take classes that actually encouraged doodling while the teachers talked.
also, in high school i used to draw elaborate checker board patterns on all my fingers with different colored metallic gel-pens (do those still exist?). i don’t think i retained anything from US government class but maybe that was by choice and not due to doodles.
YES to metallic gel pens. They must still exist somewhere!
This has officially become my favorite column on Autostraddle. A couple months ago I sat by a mysterious man on a plane who taught me crazy things about geometry and martial arts. We also compared notebooks and he suggested I get one without lines. The thought made me nervous, so I did it.
I doodle so much more. My writing feels more free. We had a snow day not too long ago and I stayed in and sketched for the first time in forever. (Her name is Khaleesi.) I don’t know if I’ll be buying another lined notebook anytime soon.
I’ve started using unlined paper for all of my writing. I love it for the same reasons as you. I haven’t started to sketch, because I write all the way to the edges of the paper, but it feels so much less constrained.
It’s great, right?! It just the empty pages that are so enticing to start sketching. I didn’t do it nearly as much when there were lines going through everything. My writing still somehow resembles an outline format, though.
aaaaaaa your sketches are so gorgeous, if that’s okay to say? i love the one of Khaleesi; the lines are so assured & confident.
Thank youuu! Khaleesi is my baby. I must’ve just done a good job at erasing all the mistakes on that one. ;)
“The thought made me nervous, so I did it.”
My new motto.
AMELIA’S NOTEBOOK THO. I completely forgot about that book!! Holy shit. Blast from the past. I used to ADORE those. And I totally got a notebook and tried to do cutesy drawings like hers but mine sucked. Ahhh, thank you for mentioning this <3
i make myself hate myself by drawing OCs in couple-y situations a lot. i’m trying not to, but it’s too cold or inclement recently to go out & draw the flowers coming up : (
i’m also having a lot of difficulty just getting into this new book, which is actually the 1st sketchbook i’ve started outside of any schooling, which may explain why it feels so slow & weird & wrong. buh.
i also drew in all my notes throughout my school years. like, you would think i wasn’t paying attention if you saw them. which is why i felt so vindicated when they came out & said “doodling & stuff actually helps retain information” like yes! i’m still paying attention, & depending, i may be paying even more attention than if i was just sitting there taking notes. unfortunately, my one friend, who’s a teacher, didn’t seem to understand, which was frustrating. if you’re going to acknowledge that we all learn/think differently, then don’t assume that the doodling/drawing is someone being inattentive or even rude.
i used to doodle in my journal-journals; when i was younger i would sometimes draw really sexual stuff, then feel ashamed & either glue the pages together or rip them out, depending on what was on the other sides. now i just, uh, draw that stuff in my sketchbooks like “WHATEVAH”. uh was that TMI i’m sorry aaa
i loved the Amelia’s Notebooks! i still think they’re awesome; things that at least give the appearance of being more “interactive” or multimedia really interest me a lot. c:
Ha, I did the same when I was younger with the somewhat sexual stuff— get really embarrassed and make it disappear. Cute OCs though. :)
hee, thank you c: i’ve never had OCs before that i’ve been like “omg u dorks” over eheh
What, why would you be embarrassed? I love your character designs, they’re so cute! I can’t draw, but I collect art of my characters sometimes, which is even dorkier. No shame!
I totally just bought a Free Period mini notebook because my job search has been making me feel depressed. The thought of filling one of those up with colors is cheering.
Doodling makes me self conscious, which may be weird. However, I had a lot of great rocket and space scenes in my high school notes.
The mini is the one that I have too! I think you will like it!
It just came in today! Can’t wait to use it.
I gravitated towards graph paper lines. Regular lines are great for writing but I feel discouraged to draw, and unlined books command an artistic prowess I’m not ready for. Graph paper gives me the freedom to write and draw, and do math if I feel a need to do some long division (which I have? before?)
The Doodling in Math Class series from Vi Hart has some great fodder for infinite doodles.
My most recent sketchbook/journal entry:
